I judge the girl. Men are animals. It is easy to seduce them and make their animalistic desires take over. First of all, personally I'm more inclined to judge the one cheating. I've never been in either situation, but I think that for the girl who the guy cheated with, if she doesn't know the girl directly, it's probably a lot easier to hurt someone. I'm not defending what they're doing in any way, but they can separate themselves from the girl who's being cheated on - when you don't know someone, it's easy to pretend that they don't exist. But that's not the case for someone who is cheating. They see the person they're cheating on all the time and have to lie and pretend that they aren't hurting them. They're able to commit to someone, and have that person care about them, and then turn around and hurt them. And hurting them is not an accident, like they said something they didn't mean and it was hurtful - no, they know the person they're cheating on will feel betrayed. Yet they do it anyway.
Secondly, I can't help but notice that your post has a lot of slut shaming tendencies. Why is it only the girl's fault that someone is cheating with them? Cliche as it may be, it takes two to tango. You're also essentially saying "Boys will be boys" by saying "Men are animals. It is easy to seduce them and make their animalistic desires take over." The boys will be boys mentality has had really negative impacts when it comes to debates and cases about rape: "Boys will be boys - they will always take advantage of a girl when she's drunk, or asking for it, etc." People use this argument against teaching about consent in schools, and use it as a way to blame girls for being raped, for being attacked. "What were you wearing? Well, boys will be boys. What can you expect when you're dressed like you're asking for it?" It's demeaning to women, not to mention disregards any trauma they've been through when someone rapes or assaults them - despite being the victim of a crime, they are the ones put on trial. Also in your post you say they can be seduced - once again, putting blame on the girls only. It's not like cheaters are super great guys who are perfect boyfriends and would never cheat until some pretty girl tells flirts and then oh no! They don't want to cheat but this bitch was reduced them to their animalistic desires. Not only is that slut shaming, it's offensive to men. People don't rape because they're men. Boys being boys doesn't mean they're running around assaulting and cheating. Most guys would never do that. Slut shaming and boys will be boys insults and demeans b
... both genders and needs to stop. Sorry didn't realize I ran out of space until after I posted.
If the girl knows the guy she's seeing has a girlfriend then they are both at fault. Guys won't tell other girls/hookups/side chicks they have a girlfriend because some girls see it as a turn off. This happened to me. I don't know why he cheated with some girl that has her own live in boyfriend but still wanted my guy to be her boyfriend. He said we were both his gfs. I was a great girlfriend. I gave him his space to hang out with his friends, I was there for him all the time to help him through emotional and financial troubles, I was loyal to him, caring/loving, honest everything a person could want in a girlfriend but still guys cheat!
Some people are just meant to just date a lot of girls/guys and never be in a real committed relationship. Those people will later regret it when they wind up alone and sad. These people will die alone
Forgot to add the sex part. We did it all the time and I gave him everything he wanted sexually so I know it wasn't that.
@aslker
so you say all man are animals and can't be blamed for cheating? That's just sexist and cliché-thinking and got nothing to do with reality. It's wrong in general to blame someone more or less based on thier sex. And why wouldn't you date a guy who's had an ex? some relationships just don't work out, people change and make mistakes but that doesn't mean that this person is guilty for this relationship to end. you should really become more open minded about relationships and men in general. every person is different and you should put this in consideration every time you tend to put a group of people together in a box based on gender, social status or anything else. you will see that it helps you a lot with social issues.
I don't care, it's always the person in the relationship's fault! If the girl cheats and the sideguy knows, her fault. If the guy cheats and the sidegirl knows, it's his fault.
I don't know why people place any blame on the other person. I could care less if she was the "easiest" woman on earth and offered my man a bj knowing that I'm his girl, it's up to HIM to shut it down and not entertain those women because I agreed to have a monogamous relationship with HIM.
I feel like blaming the other person is a cop out and pretty much teaching people to be irresponsible and lack accountability in relationships.
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Don't get me wrong, the side person isn't an "angel" if they knowingly go after a taken man or stay, but they are not to blame because at the end of the day, the vows or verbal agreement were between the cheater and the cheated.
And really? Men are animals who have no control? You sound so stupid. Why the fuck did gag feature this sexist troll?
MHO here
You, like so many other women think it's the other girls fault. It is not. Your guy or lady makes the decision to cheat. If they are honorable and loyal, no girl can make them cheat. If you are just looking for a cop out for your guy, then hate the wrong person. I have never cheated and never will. Guys who blame drinking or any other thing are just giving out BS. If you know you can be out of control from drinking and you get drunk and do something you supposedly wouldn't do, you be the adult and make the decision to not drink that much. If a unbelievably good looking man or woman comes up and makes it very clear they want you in bed, that doesn't make you do it. You make the decision to cheat and go for it. If you are such a weak person that you can't do what is right, you shouldn't have a SO since you can't trust yourself to do what is right by them. If we call ourselves adults, we have to act like one. That means we take responsibility for our decisions and actions. Nobody else is responsible for them. Turn what you believe around... If he has a so called good excuse, you are okay with him/her cheating because it won't be their fault. There is no common sense or logic behind that. I'm not saying the other person isn't wrong if they know you are involved in a committed relationship, but they are far from the responsible person.
I can't believe I'd ever agree with you on something lol yes, this ^^^ Blaming the other person is as silly of an excuse as blaming the alcohol, or "lack of attention" etc. If you can't control yourself, then at least man or woman up to say it and stop looking for cop outs
@BuchitaBuchys This is an example that people can strongly disagree on something and fully agree on others. It should always be that people "agree to disagree". It can be done. It's so much harder when it's a disagreement on something that involves strong emotions. Take care.
The primary responsibility naturally goes to the person who made the commitment and then broke it. Having said that, if you're aware that someone has made a commitment to someone, and you knowingly help them cheat, then you aren't exactly a shining example of a human being either. Still, the one who makes (and breaks) the commitment is the real dirtbag.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Really? You're going to blame the guy when the guy was the one who decided to do it anyway knowing he's with you? That is not common sense. Both parties are to blame. You have a girl who flaunts herself and flirts with somebody who is taken. He chose to have sex with her. He didn't have to do it. But he did. We don't know what went on between them, except that they both ended up in bed together.
"Men are animals. It is easy to seduce them and make their animalistic desires take over. " Not true at all. Lust and the sinful nature of it make'
s everybody like animals. It is not easy to seduce [which is manipulation] a man. Not even a girl. A guy who got 'seduced' wanted or felt like having sex way before he met that person. Even if he was tempted. Being tempted is not a sin. The action behind it is. So with that understanding, he made the move to do it anyway, he's to blame as equally as the girl. After all, he didn't have sex by himself.
blame the girl when the guy was*
Oh my gosh, the guy who cheated has all the responsability! he was the one committed to someone else, he's the one that cheated, and the other girl was literally just pursuing something she wanted, which she was totally entitled to do... in my opinion the only reason why anyone would judge the girl whom the guy cheated with, is because we're soo influenced by this sexist society to judge women and blame them for "flirting" or "provoking" men, like they can't also have their own desires and like all men can ever think about is having sex and they don't have a mind of their own to control their own impulses. SMH
I'm genuinely sorry that a guy mistreated you to make you believe that they're all animals, and with that being said, I disagree. Of course I've been hit on by guys who have completely inappropriate approach (i. e. Asking me over to their house within two minutes/sending nudes) but that doesn't make all men bad, it's just those few. Also, just because person C can person A, doesn't mean it always happens. I agree with MrOracle.
Men are not special unique snowflakes that are incapable of being decent human beings. There are billions of men out there who have never and will never cheat. If you cheat the only person you have to blame for your actions is yourself. Men are not so pathetically weak that they can't control their actions.
It depends. If the side chick was the girlfriend bff or even just a friend or a sister. If she knew the girlfriend I would judge them both equally. Otherwise if she didn't know the girlfriend or even know that he had a girlfriend I would only judge the guy
I think both are to blame. Everyone will say there's different scenarios, the only time I will not judge is when the other person had no knowledge of the person they were with was cheating on their partner.
I disagree... although the woman should be held responsible for what she did if she knew she was destroying a relationship, it's ultimately the man who made the decision to cheat on his significant other. Men have enough self-control to know that they shouldn't be doing that and restrain themselves.
I judge the guy more. Men are not animals. They are humans and should be treated as such. If we excuse their behavior as animalistic, will they ever learn right from wrong?
In many cases of cheating the woman on the side doesn't even know he's in a commitment.
It's awful behavior for both party's and if a person can't handle an exclusive relationship, they should talk to their partner about an open one and discuss what all that exactly entails.
I would judge the cheater more than the cheater's new partner, because their new partner doesn't necessary know that they are a cheater.
The guy (or person) who cheated, 100%. Helping someone to cheat is wrong, sure, but when you agree to be faithful to someone, YOU are responsible for upholding that commitment. When you cheat on your partner, YOU are the one who cheats on them. You are solely responsible for making that decision and breaking your agreement to be faithful to them. The person you cheat with is providing an opportunity, nothing more.
Men aren't animals (in the way you mean, anyway). They are humans with brains and hearts and consciences. They are responsible for their decisions and their actions. Blaming the girl (who is a girl in this particular case) because "men are pigs" is sexist and gives men far too little credit. Plus, there are many cases where the person who someone cheats with doesn't even know that someone is being cheated on.
"guys are animals" often true, but that doesn't excuse the cheating, men aren't dogs. if your man cheats, toss him out and get a real man instead.
B O T H! If the girl knew he was taken, she's just as bad as the cheater. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
Both! There is a better person in this scenario. Both are assholes and they both knowingly committed a heinous act. By saying men have no control and it isn't their fault, you set yourself up for this crap. There is no excuse for cheating. A man makes a decision to sleep with another woman. She doesn't cause his animalistic side to take over and cause him to forget he is in a relationship and that sticking his dick in another woman is wrong!
That's a lame excuse to be a shit of a human
Obviously the guy, why would I judge her if it would be easier for him to IGNORE HIM rather than jump on her.
Even if a WOMAN tries everything to make that particular MAN cheat on his Girlfriend/spouse/wife, if HE AGREES to it then it's HIS fault not hers.
In this example it would be the guy.
He holds his actions and he can always evade other women no matter how they try.
It would be a wrong example to think it was the girl because a guy can always tell that other girl otherwise of him currently in a relationship. So the girl is probably clueless as his girlfriend is about his whereabouts. Two victims in this case.
In this world we are constantly faced with people who may interfere with the commitment we are currently in.
But most of the time it all depends on how a guy is, if he is the type who overlooks those things or if he is the type who easily gives in.
I wouldn't even break it down in to a men or woman subject which I find a little bit sexist because not all men are pigs and in fact some woman can act that way too.
Anyways the person who is IN the relationship is the one at fault and who should be blamed. Always. When you enter a relationship with someone you are saying you will be with this one person and only this one (unless otherwise agreed upon)
So if you are cheating you break that agreement. Simple enough. The other person is usually single and doesn't have anyone. Not saying they don't have any fault in it, but not nearly as much as the person in the relationship.
I believe it's both of their faults to be quite honest (assuming the girl knew that he was in a relationship and seduced him. Otherwise, the guy is doubly at fault for tricking the new girl AND cheating on his girlfriend. This obviously remains the case if the sexes were all swapped.)
Young men should be able to control themselves and not fall for seduction tactics. The only time I can imagine a guy not being able to control themselves is if they are under the influence of some drug/drink or are too young (early/pre teen phase where hormones are ridiculous, however you shouldn't be doing anything sexual at this age anyways).
The only time you can blame the girl who the guy cheated with, is when they are either a close friend or relative. Even if the girl knows that the guy is in a relationship, as cruel and trashy as it is, she doesn't have to respect it. He's the one who's supposed to be committed to you, all fault goes to him when he decides to be unfaithful. But I do believe karma is a bitch so whatever they do it'll come back around.
Both. Don't sleep around with random people.
He is at fault, no matter what. She, on the other hand, may or may not be.
Obviously, if she was unaware of the relationship, then she's in the clear. If she knew, he made a play for her and she ended going along with it, then she is at fault, but not as much as he is. Finally, if she knew, but actively seduced him until he gave in to animal instincts, then they both suck and deserve each other.
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