Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend had sex with another girl while we fought?

My boyfriend and I have had our issues, but at the end of the day we always love each other, more than I can ever believe sometimes. He lost his virginity to me and we've been together for the last year. We recently got into a really big fight and broke up, but we never stopped talking and fighting for each other. We got back together recently but I found out he slept with another girl a day after our break up. I'm really torn up about this and I need help. He tells me he loves me and it meant nothing, but the fact he can betray me and sleep with another girl when I've always been his only really hurts. Can anyone give me some words of wisdom?
Updates:
+1 y
I would like to clarify that I'm not mad at him for cheating. I'm not mad at him at all. I'm hurt that he slept with another girl despite the fact I was was his first and only time, and I'm really just asking people for their advice and what they would do in my situation.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well first of all, whatever he did while you two were broken up is fair game. You two were no longer in a relationship, did you expect him to remain faithful to some girl who he was no longer with?

    However, the fact that he had a girl lined up the day after you two broke up tells me he was waiting or planning on hooking up with that girl for some time.

    Overall, if you want to be with this guy, get over it, because he didn't really do anything wrong. If you wanted him to remain exclusive to you, you guys wouldn't have broken up in the first place. I'd still be cautious of the guy though.

    • I'm not saying he wasn't allowed to do so, I'm just wondering if you can do something like this and still claim to love the other person

    • ALso if it helps we had been broken up for less than a week

    • Yeeeeah I'd leave the guy. It's possible that it meant nothing, but that's very unlikely.

  • You broke up, so both of you were free to do as you wanted. Apparently you should have stayed broken up and moved on. Very few guys have sex with 1 partner their entire life, that only happens in romance novels, so dunno what you were expecting otherwise. You were foolish to think he was going to be different. I've always been wary of getting serious with any virgin I slept with, those feelings they sometimes catch are only temporary, they will eventually get curious about others and if they really are all the same or not (definitely not, genitals are like snowflakes for both sexes).

Most Helpful Girls

  • 1. You guys broke up so he didn't really betray you because he was single.
    2. There really isn't anything that anyone can say to make you not feel this way because they are your feelings.
    3. You should really sit done and think about if this is something that you can forgive him for.
    4. If you choose to stay with him you can't hold this over him because it will ruin your relationship and most likely make him grow to hate you.
    5. This is a you problem that you have to figure out by yourself.

    Once you figure it out you will feel much better. I hope for the best for you.

  • look actions specks louder than words. Sometimes guys do things with another girl after a bad break up to replace that feeling of love you gave them. You should talk to him about it in person. I would be totally hurt and that my boyfriend slept with another girl while we broke up. But you got two choices. 1- you can talk to him about it, see how you feel and stay together if its really worth it or 2- you dump him and find someone new. Ik its going to be very hurt to dump him but you shouldn't have to deal with his bs.

  • Yeah... I would walk away.
    He may say it 'didn't mean anything' and while that may be true, the betrayal and lack of being able to take any accountability did mean a lot to you. In the worst way possible.

    Stay with him only if you can justify constantly living with the paranoia that he may do it again- especially if he knows he can get away with it with not much more than just a slap on the wrist.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 15

  • He technically didn't cheat, but it's also very understandable that you're upset. He either cares so little for the relationship that he has no issue going out and sleeping with someone the day after you break up or he purposely does stuff while angry that he knows is hurtful or just plain reckless. Neither of those sound like someone you want to be in a relationship with.

  • While he didn't technically cheat, it's totally understandable that you feel hurt and betrayed. Only you can decide what to do. I'd say talk to him about it- a lot- and see where the conversation takes you. If you can get to a point where you feel better about it and you trust him, then that's great. If you decide you can't get past this, that's okay too.

    Does he understand why you're hurt? Does he regret jumping in bed with another girl so quickly?

  • To do it once to you is impossible, he will continue to be with other girlz and that's a given. Move on or suffer. If you take the second option them let me suggest a good book: Two-timing male slut. You can read it while he is out fucking other girls and making fun out of your trust. "Girl-up" Girl

  • Do you think that someone who truly loves you would do such a thing? Ignore the words that he says; do his ACTIONS indicate that he loves you?

  • If you're disappointed.
    but too lonely, then stay.

    If you're not lonely and your circle is a bit bigger than mine, then find someone else.

    Cheating is just a man's way of relieving stress, only if he's more of a bum than a productive gentlemen.

    What I would do:

    I don't tolerate cheating without approval. I'm afraid of STDs and HiVs and all that weird stuff.

    If you wanna cheat, consult with me first. 😘

  • And you still calling him your boyfriend?

  • R u dumb? He cheated on you lmao what's there to be torn up about? Dump his ass

  • Well since you looking for some words of wisdom on this subject i will tell you what my good gal told me when i cheated on her back in 05, "its not the wind behind the closed door that hurt me, its the fact that the wind was there"

  • i think it's time to do some thinking. if the cheating doesn't concern you how about how readily he was able to hop into bed. And how quickly for that matter. did he have someone waiting on the side? how strongly could he have felt to turn to another woman so fast?

  • If he truly loves you, you shouldn't be mad at him. He may be suffering from the breakup and had sex to relieve himself from the stress

  • First of all the fighting needs to stop. If you two can't have an adult conversation without it ecalating to yelling, then you just table it for another time, come back to it later. You may have to do this several times, or you may never agree and just agree to disagree.

    Second, any guy that bones some other girl while he's arguing with you, his supposed 'girlfriend' isn't worth keeping around. He'll just do this over and over. You become the door mat if you are not already.

    Frankly, but the sounds of it, neither of you are really ready for dating in the first place. You're 'not mad at him for cheating'. That's just great. Maybe next time he'll bring home a STD. And you don't have to be mad about that either. No, just bury your head in the sand, and keep that butt up in the air.

  • the same thing was on friends no? somebody remember?

  • he might've been really upset and reckless because of the breakup.

    did you lose your virginity to him?

  • you say your not mad at him for cheating and can't believe he betrayed you but from what your saying he didn't do either cause you broke up after you broke up he had no obligation to wait for you both to get back together before doing anything with someone else the past is the past if your together again just focus on your future together

  • you broke up

    he owed you nothing

    it's not about you

  • dump his stupid ass

  • Well technically if you broke up he didn't cheat. So you can't be mad. Anyways if you fight so much then you probably should find a new man.

  • If he really, deep down loved you like he says.. he wouldn't do that a day after you broke up.

  • You said you broke up, so you were not togother by then. It is not consider as cheating. It is besically he was single by then.

    • i agree

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