Sexual Relationships
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Why does this turn (some) guys on?

So something my guy asked I am wondering about. So we were laying in bed together and he starts playing with me down there and asks, "Whose p*ssy is this"? And, knowing what he wanted me to say, and being the submissive girl in bed that I am, I say, "Yours" in a coy, girly voice. This obviously was the answer he wanted because after that he said, "That's the right answer", then climbed on top of me (hard), and said it was time to "make another deposit" (we already had been having sex prior to this).

So here's my question - clearly he was turned on by hearing my p*ssy was "his", so I'm wondering - guys why is this a turn on for some of you? Is it just a dominance thing? (As I said before I tend to be submissive in bed and he tends to be dominant) Like is it just a turn on because it is affirmation of a guy's dominant role? Is it a territorial thing (kind of like how some male animals "mark their territory")? Something different?

Also I really don't want any lectures about the fact that I did this, that it's degrading, etc etc. It clearly turned him on and honestly it turned me on too (aka I liked it), so I'm not looking for judgement about this. I'm just wanting answers as to why this would turn a guy on. Thanks!!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've never said this or have been in this situation as myself and my encounters are generally mutual (no dominant stuff) and we take turns deciding what to do.

    However if this sort of conversation came up for me, I wouldn't see it as a domination or territorial thing, but more of a "I will let you do anything you want with it."

    That can be factored as perhaps a trust thing between you and your partner, where you don't have to worry about any risks (being hurt, std's, pregnancy, etc.) and being able to have both of you doing whatever you want without fear of many consequences can be liberating and thus, more erotic.

    But I digress, it could be as simple as a dominating thing or even territorial. There is nothing wrong with taking charge in bed or being passive and letting things happen, but personally I find people who are into dominating a partner and treating them as an object in their collection is childish and primitive, while "marking their territory" equates to a dog pissing on a bush (see primitive) and neither aspect falls in my view as "erotic" or a turn on, but the opposite.

    It's like something you'd see in an old 80's porn.

    To each their own of course, and whatever people like, go for it, but this is why my perspective is different from others. I don't do the possession / territory / dominate thing simply because I have never needed to in the past and none of my past or present partners have shown interest in that sort of "role playing" if you could call it that.

    The point I am trying to make is that the answer you are seeking can vary from person to person. Your best best is to ask your partner what is it that turns him on when you guys talk like this. As you said, you enjoy it too so it's not about confronting him but better understanding. Once you know and understand more about how and why it turns him on, maybe you can enhance it further and make him even more crazy about it (as well as yourself) once you figure out what the specific triggers are.

    • You're right, there definitely needs to be trust for the other person!

  • He's just marking his territory in a very dominant way. Does he ever spank you? Bind you? Slap you around? My lady loves it all.

    • Glad someone else understands this dynamic! It astounds me that so many people think a male being sexually dominant over a female means that he doesn't respect (or even love) her! Many females (myself included) have an innate desire for a dominant male (more than who will admit it, in my opinion, since modern feminism says this isn't acceptable), while many males have an innate drive to be dominant. This of course does NOT apply to all males and females, but I believe there are significant numbers for whom it does. For those males and females, finding a mate with the corresponding desire to fulfill the dominance / submission aspect of sex, fulfills them sexually in a way others cannot. If two people are getting their sexual needs fulfilled, and mutual respect overall is there, it can certainly be considered healthy for those individuals. Of course not all desire this or would be comfortable with this, so for those individuals this is not ideal.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Confirming that your pussy is his also confirms that he is satisfying you sexually and you won't go off and find someone else.

    • I agree, he seems to seek reassurance that he is satisfying me sexually at times, so I think there's a lot of truth to what you are saying.

  • you should really read the bible it explains it right there

    • I have actually read all of the Bible, but I don't remember where it covered sexual dominance and submission, which part are you referring to?

    • SUBMIT UNTO YOUR HUSBANDS he is being literal submit he is not saying be a slave but when it comes time to hit it submit that simple do what he says

    • Ahh gotcha

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 14

  • 1. there's NOTHING wrong with lovers talk like this role playing fantasy turnons
    2. feeling it's more akin to THIS pussy being unlocked for him to use anytime, anyplace, anywhere fantasy when for years these locks take forever to be picked open and willing
    3. Some gals are eager/enthusiastic in getting his dick, best seen in movie Gable & Lombard, others
    4. the ownership slant you guess about is errie in that this is what OJ used to say about his wife's pussy long before they had troubles... but yes, I agree with some of that + dominance also suggests #2 but in a more forceful all-about-me pirate way turnon

    Please share more role plays you both find as turnons

  • it's a dominance thing to show that you are ours and ours alone. and also probably that be can do with with it what we like.

  • sounds like a dominance thing yea

  • I think it's just nature itself cuz animals do that too sop I think it's normal... but I'm not like this... I'm pretty submissive (both in bed and in life) most of girls said I was strange... Now I'm bi (first time dating a guy)

    • Good for you for having the self-awareness about your sexual needs to know this about yourself. Best of luck in your new relationship!

    • Thanks, good luck you too...

  • it's definitely a dominance thing. not every guy would act that way. it all kind of depends on if a guy has the confidence to play the dominant role. it all comes down to who feels more need to control the situation.

  • He probably liked it because, we as men tend to be very possessive, so hearing you day that your pussy (something that's very intimate/private) belongs to him, is a pretty big turn on.

  • you're turning me on

  • My property. I am assuming you are not cheating on me.

  • or he just likes to be dominatrix

  • by you telling him its yours makes him feel good that he owns that pussy and no one else can have it

  • This type of sex produce lot more dopemine in your mind than normal (romentic) sex. Thats the main reason he turns on so much.

    I was also addicted to this fantasy. But its no good. I am not gonna give lacture on this as you said. For that matter read "11 minutes" book by paolo coelo.

    If you want any suggestions reply me.

    • Thanks for not lecturing

  • he is insecure.. and he wants dominance to validatr himself. I would talk with him when your not having sex.. And he can think more senibly, how you dont appriciate this..

    • and by the way people are moral beings who can reason about thinks that makes us different than animals.. we are not animals, you can expect more of him..

    • I do think he (like many guys) can be insecure about whether or not he is sexually satisfying his lady, he seems to seek reassurance about this from time to time, however you must have missed where I said I liked him saying this, and that I liked h behaving in a dominant manner, so I would not be telling him I don't appreciate it.

  • it's just that the man feels great to know that you belong to him. there is no dominance or submissive thought it that👍

  • "Whose p*ssy is this"
    I'd honestly laugh if someone asked me that during sex. I consider it ridiculous

  • because he is dominant

  • I just got a boner

  • i hate being dominant, I'm the submissive

    • It's great that you have the self-awareness to know that about yourself, at such a young age at that. many never reach this level of self-awareness on what their sexual needs are.

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