Fake sex with the guy that I love?

Giuly96lalaland Xper 4

Hello girls and guys, i write to you because i'm in a very difficult situation. I'm an actress, i mostly act in theaters and even in some web fiction and short movies that was shown at some amatorial festival. Last year happened to me to work for a play with a guy that i knew from when i was eleven, and i had for different years a terrible crush for him. Growing up we lost each other. Now we are shooting a movie that should be presented on a little festival in September, and in this movie, for good part of it, we stay togheter and then get engaged. Tomorrow we should shoot The first kiss scene and a pretty explict sex scene (i still don't know how much, because the director didn't gave us much information, for sure there will be some nudity). When i accepted the role and finished to represent the play with him, i stili wasn't conscious of the fact that i was falling again in love for him, and we thought that a part with kiss, effusion, and sex scene was more comfortable with someone that you knew for a very long time. Now i'm really scared because from one side i feel dirty for having sex with him, without telling him the thruth, from the other i'm scared for the scene and maybe to appear ugly in front of his eyes. In this case an actor should be professional, but how could i be while i have to fake sex with someone i love? How should i act? Have you any suggestion? Help me please, because i'm really desperate.

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Most Helpful Guys

martyfellow Editor
+1 y
Wow what a but question for Girls ask Guys! But welcome to the site.

I have some limited movie acting experience. Kissing scenes were hard enough to bring off even without emotions involvement, but a sex scene with someone you have intense feelings for? Wow I can see how conflicting that would be!

Don't worry about appearing ugly that won't be a likely problem in the shootiing! I wouldn't tell him yur feelings since that would really complicate the shooting.

Be as reserved and 'professional' as you can be in such a scene. In the movie, are you supposed to be in love--will this be a willing sex scene?

Try to stay a little withdrawn unless the director gets upset with that.
I think you have to stay withdrawn in order not to 'overdo' the scene.

Keep your real feelings to YOURSELF for sure. You'd shooting a movie, not deciding your future relationship--don't lose sight of that.
1 0 0 0
- martyfellow
  +1 y
  *tough question. Stupid I pad 'corrections.'
- martyfellow
  +1 y
  And welcome to Girls-Guys!
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Thank you, this is really helpfull, i wasn't hoping to find someone with these esperienze when i wrote this post. Yes in the movie we are two difficult characters that love each other but can't believe and accept that for something that happened in their past, and when both will live a very difficult time, they understand that they can go on just supporting each other, and with this excuse they start showing their love. We are not the main characters, but we have by The way an important role. Tomorrow We should shoot a dialogue and the scene of the first kiss and sex scene, the movie is based in various years, and we will get engaged later. So yes, my character is really in love, but is a conflicting love and really suffered. I think too that talking to him about my feelings it would be counterproductive. I'll try to stay withdrawn, but i don't know How The dialogue and The scenes will be because the director want that We discover The scene at The moment with The character
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- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  I've understood What You wanted to say, but i'm not much scared to be ugly in front of The camera, i'm scared in front of his eyes
- martyfellow
  +1 y
  He'll likely be too much in his role to have idle thoughts about your looks. I sure didn't in my kissing scene.
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Thank You even for "The welcome" clearly :)
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  May i in some way Write to You in private Marty?
- martyfellow
  +1 y
  Sure, go ahead. My acccount accepts private messages
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  It says that i must be at the second level. By the way, i know that is stupid, but maybe can someone understand during a kissing scene if the other feel something for you? Because, i don't know, the kiss (kissing in general) was so intense and seemed so full of feelings by both side. Maybe it's just this The way that gela when You do a well done kissing scene, but i would like to know your opinion
regbarclay Xper 4
+1 y
Congratulations.
You don't have to have sex in front of camera. Right? Just a bit of dry humping. Right?
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- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Not real sex, of course, but obviously is in front of camera
- regbarclay
  +1 y
  I'm sorry I don't quite get why it's a problem. You love him, right? What am I missing?
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Yes, the problem is that i feel dirty at going to simulate sex with him and kissing him, without being honest and i'm scared even because i would like to happear great at his eyes. It's something that makes me feel bad, it should be easy to be understood.
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- regbarclay
  +1 y
  You're engaged to him. You don't have to simulate. Just kiss him like you do. Just dry hump like you normaly would. Did he tell you he has a problem with this scene?
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  I'm engaged in the movie, in real life he has a girlfriend, and unfortunately she's not me
- regbarclay
  +1 y
  Oh shit. My bad. I would go for it anyway. That's perfect excuse - "I was just acting". You won't have visible boner. Will she be there?
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  I'm a girl ahahah No she won't be there
- regbarclay
  +1 y
  Cool. Have fun! Just watch his reaction carefully, you don't want to force yourself on him.

Most Helpful Girl

SteppingOnRoses Xper 6
+1 y
maybe you should come clean about it to him. It's the best way I see.

who knows he may also feel something for you?
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- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  La La Land 😍 However for me probably would be good, because, at least, i would say to ha the thruth, but it would be really humiliating for me and it won't be good thinking at the fact that at least for One month we should shoot scene in which we kiss
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Won't be good for him, that isn't worried and seems really calm
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  I see I just hope you can act professional during it and once the shooting is over I am really rooting for you two to somehow get together :) haha you liked it too? May I ask, it's not common to find someone on here who is pursuing acting as a carreer. How is that going for you, if I may ask?
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- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Yes obviously, it's even in my name because i really loved that movie, and i feel near, as You could understand, to Mia's character. Really thank you, maybe i could follow You, and in some ways We can talk, i don't know. It's not a simple life, but thinking at the fact that i'm just 20, i could consider myself lucky: i started four years ago at school, one day a director tested us for some role in a play, and i was chosen. I'm not in a company but i made different plays in the last years, fortunately i'm been called different times; i'm even in a webseries that is at its third year, and should end with his forth (so i should work at this little project for other two years). Then i've done some short movies that was shown at some summer festival (but was not payied, if was more for getting known); and know this is The first movie (i'm a little bit sad about the fact that i would be naked in the first movie)
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Sorry there are some mistakes for the automatic corrector
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  It's ok. sorry i didn't see the la la land part of the name omg lol and yes i think i'd like to chat once in a while when you feel like it. You seem like a sweet girl :)
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Thank You, you seem too. Why were You asking me about my carreer, are You trying too?
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  No, but I am interested in the arts Even if my field is more the music field. I do enjoy movies though a lot. I was curious about how the life of a working actress is :)
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  At the beginning was really hard, it's hard because until You don't arrive at some level, you are really uncertain, You have to run from place to place, audition to audition for a part, and it doesn't make You indipendent. By now people are starting to call me, i'm not at an high level, but The pay is starting to be important, and The sensation is that finally i'm starting to be in. I've acted in some important play, this is a little production movie, but it's however an important project.
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  How is it going to you in music field?
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  I am not exactly in the music field. I have practiced the violin for years. I could have gone to music college, but somehow chose medicine (still not sure it was the right thing, but ok it's what i chose at the time). Never thought I'd stop playing the violin, but life became hard in a way. some things happened... and now im just hoping i can begin practicing again, get back to my level, eventually improve above that and get to keep playing violin till the rest of my days. I don't know how the violin will fit into my life, neither do i know about medicine, but lets see. And I will be happy if I can just keep violin in my life.
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Oh, i've understood. I would have not capable to do multiple things, so i just focused on acting and gave myself a deadline at 25. I really hope that You can going on with your passion for violin.
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  Thank you. I hope so too. I already wasted too much time without playing. I'm on of those people that liked many things when in highschool, so... made it harder to decide.
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  by the way if by 25 you are not where you are at yet, you think you will give it up? I am saying this because sometimes results come later than the deadlines we establish for ourselves. although I understand why you felt the need to establish one. Would you like to pursue more of a carreer in the theater, or is it what you really want to do movies/tv?
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  I don't think that i would let completely go The acting, but in these cases, you know, when you start focusing on other things, it may happen with The time. However i don't think i will quit because i'm just arrived in a good point, and i didn't think i could arrive even at this at The beginning. I made some important plays in the last year, the webseries has gone well, this movie is not a big production, but it's a real jump for me. Let's see how it goes, but even if i should stay at this for me it's okay, at first my parents hasn't supported me, and didn't believe in me, after seeing my growth now they really support me. I don't know, from One side i feel more near to theater, because it's where i started and because the habitat it's more friendly and familiar (all The people working at the movie are so stressed and cold), but this is just a first impression; but, from The other side, tv series and more specificly movies are always been my dream.
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Now i'm indipendent just with The acting
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  It's awesome that they are supportive now. I hope you can make it :) Can I ask something? Do you think you could give me the name of the webseries you're doing? I understand if you will feel uncomfortable and won't want to. I just got curious.
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Hey, sorry if i didn't answered to You for all this time, but these have been some really hard days of shooting, i'm destroied. I'm really shy, it's not just for The webseries, that is really well done and funny, is just that You probably would know Who i am, and, by now, i would feel uncomfortable with that.
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  yes, i gathered as much. but i had to try :) lol and it is ok i assumed u were busy hope the shootings are going well
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Yes, pretty well, the sex scene was really hard to shoot, we have been more than one day on it, and in general We are doing probably the most difficult scenes of the movie, so it's hard, but when the director at the end says that it is good, it's really satisfying. The sad thing it's that i passed Two days kissing him and in bed with him, knowing to not be reciprocated.
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  I understand must be... well hurtful in a way
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  OMG, I know that it's a sad thing to be happy for that and that i will seem an ugly person, but he just told me that he has broke up with his girlfriend
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  no it's understandable though if i was his girlfriend i wouldn't like it lol XD
- SteppingOnRoses
  +1 y
  thank you for MHO :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4

dannymexico90 Xper 6
+1 y
Your a pornstar?
0 0 0 0
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Nope ahahah
Shammer Xper 3
+1 y
Don't fake it
0 0 0 0
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  What do you mean?
- Shammer
  +1 y
  if it's got real emotion it will look better
LastNightmare Guru
+1 y
just enjoy it and do it for real.. don't fake it
0 0 0 0
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  For fake i was meaning "not Real sex/simulated sex"
- LastNightmare
  +1 y
  do it for real
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Absolutely no
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- LastNightmare
  +1 y
  that's my suggestion
- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  Thank you, but i'm not interested simply in having sex with him, it would be worst for me having sex without staying with him; and thinking at the fact that he has a girlfriend, i would be a bitch
KhoryESM Explorer
+1 y
Tell him how you feel & it's weird to me how in some movies the actors had legit sex to make the scene more authentic. But yea tell him how you feel I mean it couldn't hurt right?
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- Giuly96lalaland
  +1 y
  I thought different times about that, but first of all i think that it would get harder the scene even for him, that looks to me very calm; then it would be humiliating, i know that i had a crush on him when i was younger, and i'm sure that nothing has changed for him. I don't want that he think that i've accepted the role because i love him, i fall in love later. And then he has a girlfriend, that stay togheter since April, he says it's not a serious relationship, but if i confess what i feel it would be much more humiliating.