WHY do guys insist so much on NUDES and than lose interest?

[evelyne10]

The internet dating world is so complicated. And sexed up. I'm a woman. So, EVERYTIME I talk to a guy, sex comes up in the conversation pretty fast, without me making any hints about it at all. If I refuse to respond to those hints, they leave the conversation soon and never talk again. And if I respond to sexual hints, it always leads to them asking for NUDESSS and sexually detailed pics. After a few days of headaches and him relentlessly begging for nudes like he's gonna be in great pain without them, I eventually give in and send some nudes. Soon after, 1-2 days, he TOTALLY loses interest, this happens more often. Or the "circus" prelongs some more time cause he wants nudes in all lights and places, he wants shots under the table at restaurants, videos of taking clothes off, etc, and I get really tired of the shit and ignore the guy. Are these guys really looking to date, or they just want to rub one off? if than, why don't they watch porn? Why do they have to do this filth to real women online who actually want a relation? What is in your head, guys? I am trying to understand the thinking behind this nudes thing, and I don't get it. You'll say well why do u send nudes? Well, I'm freakin lonely, some company would be nice, and it seems like I have no other option to have some company than this filth...

[Being_a_good_Indian]

I can understand your point of view that you are so irritated by such all time horny dudes who keep on chasing for girls and talk to them.

After developing little bit connection they start sexual conversation. It is the biggest limitations of the online dating that it is very difficult to trust the mistake.

The reason why they do it is the big industry of trading of nudes of girls. (Don't want to scare you just telling truth). Sometimes guys don't have any emotional connection with the girl. Just to show off among other guys and treat it as their achievement which satisfy their so called ego.

Some girls come in trap of such guys and send them some sexy pics to keep on conversation going on. But ultimately lose the guy as his work is completed.

Such guys share the pictures among the friend circle and try to show their achievement. Even in some cases guys bet on that who is doing better.

Though the pictures in which face is not shown then also it is possible to recognize at some extent.

I would give you a free advice that block such rascals as you realize that something is going in such direction.

It doesn't mean that relationship can not be developed online just the girl has to identify the red flags in the relationship.

Wish you good luck for the guy

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Please ignore any typing error if exist.

[evelyne10]

I wonder if any man, EVER , can have any emotional connection to women. They seem to have just one thing in mind. Women like sex too, but they are capable of thinking about other things besides that. Men turn basically any topic into something sexual. I could talk about kittens, knitting, fruit juices... guys will still find a way to turn that into something about sex.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

It doesn't mean that guys can not talk about other stuff. They can talk if they have control over their thoughts. It requires maturity to understand and talk on other stuff. Personally I classify them in man and boys. Man have control over his thoughts and feelings and boys don't have control though they grow up by age but they don't behave like matures. At certain extent it is also related to biologically structured of male brain that due to testrogen is high compared to females they get triggered more sexual thoughts. They can control it if they want. I am not protecting men by telling it is at certain extent biological structuring. Just putting the point which is reality. There are some guys who have emotional connection just you has to identify them.

[CallMeDave]

My opinion is that those kind of guys mainly just want the pictures. They don't really care about you or have any interest in a relationship; they just want the pictures.

If you don't like that, then I think the best approach would be to not send them the pictures. The guys that only care about the pictures will give up if you convincingly say no, but if you want a relationship then you're not losing anything because you're not going to get one with those guys anyway. The guys that actually care about you as a person (which from what I've heard is a minority on internet dating sites) will want to talk with you about you and what you like and your interests and goals. They won't be begging for nudes.

Personally, I think that's one of the best ways women can weed out the guys that don't actually care about them. Don't give them sexual gratification (in the form or nudes or sex) until they've shown that they actually care about you and your life. If they get too pushy for sexual things then I think that's a pretty clear sign that they don't care about you for anything other than their own sexual gratification.

[sugarchateau]

Here's a trick: don't worry about it, don't respond, block, let it go and move on. Never bother to waste time worrying or acknowledging a guy that sends you a comment that doesn't align with respect. You don't have to explain yourself and you don't have to wait for them to change their mind, just like they don't have to practice respect and can practice selfishness.
Personally, I have a boundary where I choose to only use my kind energy towards people who respect and appreciate me. I don't practice being mean, but I know I deserve better than dealing with a bunch of perverts. Don't even bother cussing them out, just quickly cut them out instantly.

JUST SAYIN <3 I'm full of unconditional love, but that doesn't mean I have to lower my energy for others to feel good about themselves.

[BrittBratt2416]

They lose interest because you either give or don't give them what they want. They just looking for someone to fuck, they're not serious about you or dating. They wants nudes to see if they can still get the real thing, watching some other guy score gets a tad bit old after a while. They want nudes for jerking off, show and brag to their friends, or possibly put them up on sex sites. I suggest you drop the dating site your on or online dating together because the men your coming across are nothing but fuckboys. Stop giving into these men just cause your lonely, show yourself a little bit more love and self worth.. that is your options.

[RedPopIsBetter]

Girl, you are preaching to the choir here! My relationship ended a month ago (I had met him online) and so I got back in the dating sites to try and just have some nice conversations maybe a nice date or two. I lasted a week and couldn't take it anymore. Mine mostly wanted to hookup and it's like hell no! I don't know you at all! And they think they're so clever until you set them straight and then they have the nerve to get indignant.

[xMiaxBuerx]

I hand out nudes like flayers. Why? Because that's how I test guys and most of them WILL lose interest even if you're good looking. Guys like to judge women, things like "She's easy, she's a slut" Well, I enjoy being watched and I'm the one who usually does the ditching; so yeah..

[evelyne10]

I can see your point- use or get used. First option is better, obviously. But why tf do they lose interest? I mean, they seem to lose interest either way- you send nudes or you don't send- they lose interest. Can't imagine why it's so interesting just to jerk off looking at pics instead of having sex for real.

[xMiaxBuerx]

There are tons of reasons. Guys who over consume porn cum faster, a lot of them have micro penises and some can't even get it up when with a real girl. So they simply jerk off to a butt pic and imagine a better situation where they are more dominant and aggressive (or the opposite, depends on how fucked up the guy is), Either way, it's a lot better than being embarrassed and humiliated.

[mrRedfromFling]

Mia yo HMU! hahaha I'd love to watch.

[OlderAndWiser]

This is a generational phenomenon. Men my age do not engage in such behavior. I am fairly certain that many men of your generation don't do this, either. Where are you meeting these guys? Tinder?

[evelyne10]

Got even men as old at 45-50 doing this nudes shit. Other dating sites, no pay.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some dating sites are notorious for being hook up sites. Cough up a few bucks and get on a legitimate dating site. If you hang out in bars, you meet drunks; if you hang out in hook up sites, you meet pervs.

[erandal]

Men seem to need that visual stimulation more than women. People who just ask for the nudes are after a quick sexual fix, not a long term relationship. If you want the latter maybe your profile needs rewriting to make that more clear? It is a long time since I have dated so I am very out of touch.

[godfatherfan]

Any guy that is truly interested isn't going to push for that right off the bat. Guys are wired for sex, we just are. And young guys are inexperienced at relationships and women so they don't know how to act properly yet. So sorry, your going to have to deal with the sex thing. I guess that is just part of being a desirable woman. Eventually all of us guys ask for pictures. We are visual and seeing the woman we are interested in is way better then some random woman online. But I would wait at least a month until you have been having sex a few weeks and are more comfortable with each other. Young guys think that since men love looking at naked pictures that women love it also. So they think that you think it is as hot and as much of a turn on as we think it is. Us older guys still love the pictures but we understand that women are not into them so much. Although there are exceptions to every rule because I have dated women that have asked me for them before I asked them. Although women in their 40's and 50's are very sexually aggressive. Kinda like guys in our teens and early 20's.

[Tommy222]

When on dating sites, I have contacted a lot of nice women and never asked for nudes. But that doesn't stop some women from sending them to me, unsolicited. I sometimes wonder why they sent a sexually-charged nude pic when I did not ask for one. I guess they thought that they had to do that to get me interested in them - but the fact is that since I messaged them, it should have been obvious that I was already interested! Unfortunately, none of the women who have sent the nude photos to me ever follow through on getting to know one another better, which is sad because some of them were quite attractive.

[ShadezMcgee]

Haven't lost interest when I received my first one. Made me more attracted to her

[mattmanyah]

I have a really hard time staying myself when it comes to online dating. men get turned on easier by sight as you should know... when im scrolling left right left right sexually charged photos are very common (I don't like this). I've notice that after swiping I want sex more and am more likely to bring it up (which really bugs me because I would never treat a face to face woman like that). I had to do my searching all at once then stop come back and do the messaging all at once until I got antsy and i'd quit... I've actually given up on online dating

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

That's all their looking for is nudes, they don't want nothing real with a girl.

[evelyne10]

Is jerking off looking at some pics better than the real deal?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No it isn't i want something real and most men who ask for nudes are immature.

[xeeshaun]

Its realy simple most of guys on internet would be sexually fruatrated, they ask for nudes just to satisfy their lust and filth, and yes they rub it, internet is fake most of the time, if you want to date find some one arround you in real life who knows you reapects you for what you are

[evelyne10]

Well, why do they chose to stare at pics, when they could have sex and significant relations with real women? I can't see the logic in this. How can you preffer to masturbate instead of having sex?

[xeeshaun]

Addiction theu are addicted to it have sex with real women does not satisfu their lust becaise their is no thrill in. it they can jave sex when ever they want rather finding some one on internet total stranger exaching nudes sexting they are addicted to that amd cannot help ot i have known married giys mastirbate why they have wibes then why they do it seriously they need help

[lEat70sBush]

Quit looking for dates online. Most guys here are dirty old perverts and ask for ridiculous things we don't have the balls to ask for in real life to your face (because we'd probably either get slapped or get a drink tossed in our faces). It boils down to guys are visual. We want to see you naked and then maybe get to know you. Girls are the reverse, they want to know guys before seeing them naked. Most guys assume girls are the same as them, that's why you get bombarded with surprise dick pics from a guy you only just learned the real name of (sometimes even before that). The ones you are finding probably never planned on meeting you in real life, they'd rather just keep jacking off in their mom's basement. Why not simply go to Pornhub? Not really sure since I'm not a psychologist but to me it's is probably a "more real" factor. Most porn stars will not chat with individual audience members for their safety (they know a good % of them are mental cases) and most cam girls that will will ignore you until you donate money to them.

[evelyne10]

This is so sad to think of. You'd think internet would connect people more, but I see that it does the oposite. Even if I'd meet a guy in real life now, I'd think he's thinking the same filth, he's just not telling me. Not as soon anyway. Sad reality.

[lEat70sBush]

Well, it is true that when we think a girl is attractive we usually imagine what she looks like naked. It's just the way we are wired. Even a few years before puberty we start to get curious. I often hear both girls and guys wishing we could read each others' minds. No, you don't really want that is what I always tell them because then our thoughts would then be unfiltered, like comparing raw sewage and distilled water. Classic example careful of what you wish for. Probably the best bet for dates is maybe pay sites like Match or eHarmony. That gets rid of most of the overt perverts and losers since most guys won't risk getting their account banned after paying $40 a month for doing dumb shit like asking for nudes. Definitely avoid crap like Tinder, Craigslist, and the free sites.

[mrRedfromFling]

@evelyne10 wanna chat for a few days and then cave in and send me nudes?

[Giggletr0n]

Surely that speaks more to the kind of guys that you talk to if it's everytime?

[genericname85]

just don´t send them. asking for them is not much effort. you showing standards and saying no is also not much effort.

now my advice would actually be that you don´t just straight up say no. but make a clever statement about how you would be open to do it for a guy that shows her that he deserves it.

you can be naughty and make flirty/dirty remarks here and there but if he asks you for nudes when you think it´s not time for that yet, show some standards and make him work for it.

you won´t buy a mans company with nudes.

[MoeAli]

Quit chasing the wrong guy's

[johnmichaei]

that's what they want but you have to understand that those nudes my go somewhere else

[DizzyAster]

Nudes are the new trophy, like collecting panties after ONS

A few questions:
Are there not any real guys who hit on you?
Do you go to RL social settings so that you can meet guys?
What sites do you go to? Most of them are junk now.
Do you have any male friends? If not, make some.
Most guys are willing to befriend you and bang you, if the oppotunity arises. lol.

Personally, I look for local girls that I can possibly meet, because why ask for nudes, when I can take them myself. LOL :P

[dudeinohio]

Eliminate the guys who bring up sex too quick. Get on a real dating site.. not one of those bottom feeder free apps... Get on someplace like eharmony.

[evelyne10]

I haven't met even ONE, guy who didn't bring up sex and nudes. Some very soon, some a few days later, but they all do it. It's so depressing seeing this maniac behaviour after having a day or 2 or 3 of really good conversation... it's like they catch my attention just to get to this. Hate it so much, but this seems to be all the offer on the "market".

[dudeinohio]

then get on a better site like I mentioned... all those apps and free sites attract lower quality people.

[lucykitty036]

I like sending them

[ThatGuyVinny]

assuming you get compliments back it can be a good confidence booster sometimes

[Colombiano_alex]

lol guys don't connect with you on an emotional level just physical and when they get what they want of to the next one

[evelyne10]

So... relations are basically something imposible?

[Alexgagnon]

no they are not impossible you just keep finding assholes

[Colombiano_alex]

no obviously not just have to find someone the right way and I can't lie I do that shit all the time

[Colombiano_alex]

lmfao ya what he said alexgagnon

[Karl99]

Never send nudes if that doesn't excite you. Except if he is your boyfriend

[evelyne10]

Nice ideea, except that it seems that I can't get a buyfriend unless I agree with nudes, to start with. And if I do send, hell opens. So... vicious circle. I'm starting to think people had it right with arranged marriages in the past. Extreme but efficient.

[Karl99]

It seems that even with the nudes you don't get a boyfriend right?

[evelyne10]

Yes. But without nudes, I don't even get conversation. If I ignore all sexual hints, they stop chatting. I'm a very lonely person, and at least some amount of conversation is a big deal to me.

[Karl99]

Get a flatmate or see friends for the moment, you'll find opportunities irl

[Blue35]

that's all they were looking for to jerk off to your picture they use you

[evelyne10]

This makes so little sense to me. Why would someone bug a person for hours and hours just to jerk off one or 2 times looking at some pics? There's loads of porn out there for that.

[Blue35]

Yea but to have nudes from a stranger that they met or are talking to makes it better I guess like your indirectly having sex with him I don't know just a thought