I'm a dominant guy, and I tend to attract women who want to be submissive to a man. Sometimes, that's only in private/the bedroom (and they may be dominant at work, for example), and some are submissive in all situations. I've been happy with both types, though the former can be a bit more challenging at times.
It helps to understand that "dominant" doesn't mean "mean" or "abusive" - it really means "being the decision-maker." And it also means being able to do that WISELY, and taking her needs and desires into consideration when making those decisions, even though you might not always make the decision she was hoping for. A submissive WANTS her dominant to make decisions that are in her best interest, and knows that she might not always know what that is, or might be afraid to make a tough decision by herself. But there has to be a tremendous amount of trust (and knowledge of each other) between a Dom and a sub in order for this to work.
Such a relationship, done right, will make a couple closer than ever. Unfortunately, there are people who are wanna-bes who don't really know what they're doing and just try to use their position to their own advantage (and, believe it or not, submissives can do that too). Trust and openness are essential.
Well said, I cannot improve on this. Same opinion.
Sometimes women get off harder than ever before when they realize that you don't give a fuck about their interest. It makes them feel degraded as if they are a sex doll of some sort. You're essentially using them for your own selfish pleasure and that turns a lot of women on. A lot of women feel shameful to admit they like being degraded and used but I've been with enough women to know this is true. I agree with what you're saying for the most part but I disagree with your logic of deeming everyone who doesn't abide by your way of thinking to be considered wannabes. Dom and Sub in regards to sex is entirely subjective. We all look at sex through a different lens for our sexual being is directly correlated to our personality and life experiences. Life experiences and personalities differentiate between each invdividual and therefore our perspective on sex does as well.
@Chico_brah I was never entirely sure what to think about that. I can understand the whole domination thing. But at the same time, I would think if you really were going against her interests (not that it would be on purpose) and she knew you didn't care, she would most certainly not like it.
I'm a guy and I just straight up don't like submissive women. Quite women are nice. Kind women are nice. But the second I start to feel like a girl would let another human being impose their will on them without rebuttal when they clearly don't entirely desire the things that are happening to them I start to worry. I don't want to raise a daughter who'd accept being treated like a lesser being so I don't want a girl who'd teach that to her. In the bedroom it's a different story. In that setting I'm down for whatever she likes as long as it doesn't involve murder or unwilling participants. I don't want to date a dependent. I want a partner. If I end up being physically or mentally damaged I don't want to hand the reigns over to someone who can't handle it. In fact the girl who took my virginity only got it because she was the first girl to really fight for my attention rather than just sit back and hope she was pretty enough. If a girl would rather do that that's totally fine with me but we won't ever get together.
Opinionated women is a must. Crazy women are fun but only for a little while.
I'm a bit of both actually. In the bedroom I tend to be more submissive than dominant but I certainly have times that I am the dominant one.
1) Wearing the pants in the relationship?
In my relationship, we both wear the pants. Important decisions are made together. To me, this is normal.
2) Being equal?
It is impossible to be equal to each other, since everyone is different and our bodies work different. But it's best to accept the differences and don't let those differences have a negative influence on everyday situations.
3) Being submissive towards your man?
I think that if I girl is always submissive, it can be very boring for a guy. Even though most girls like a guy to be dominant, guys do want this for the girl as well from time to time.
I'd be dominant both in and out of the bedroom. As in, I like control.
However, what turns me on in bed is to ROLEPLAY being submissive. It's fun to roleplay but in reality I have the control - I'm the one with the upper hand on what happens in bed (as long as he consents) - so I don't know what to call it. A dominant submissive? Lol.
If you like to "play" it, you are submissive as well.
1. I don't wear the pants, we both have access to the money. We both control the money.
2. We treat each other with equal respect and value both of our opinions and feelings equally.
3. I Don't think it's about being submissive as it is about making him happy because you want to, and vice versa
Exactly
I love being the submissive one. I want a man to completely own me, take absolute control of me, and not only in bed, but outside of the bedroom as well. It just feels natural for me to have someone to order me around constantly.
Agreed except I don't like to be ordered around. I grew up with an extremely controlling mother lol
Ah, as did I. I'm not sure why I prefer being ordered around.. I'm weird! Lol.
Hey maybe it stemmed from your mother being controlling lol
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Outside the bedroom, I don't like a submissive, or dominant role. Relationships shouldn't have a domineering tone to it in my opinion. Things should be kept fun, light and non-crtical.
Inside the bedroom, CHANGE IT UP! It gets tiring to always be the dominant one, or to always be the submissive one...
im opinionated but that doesn't mean im always right or dont know when its better to just let things go, and i personally love it when a guy is dominant in bed but my being submissive in bed doesn't mean ill be walked all over outside the bedroom since im stubborn as fuck.
Opinionated woman are great. They're great to talk to and tend to have passion. However, if they're ideas differ from mine, then we'd likely be arguing every second.
I can't speak much on the crazy woman. I'd just say they aren't worth it for me personally.
What do you mean by a woman being submissive. Thats a highly subjective term. Do you mean she lets you hit her or that she just lets you take control in the bedroom? Obviously a guy doesn't want a girl to just order him around the whole time while they are screwing, but every once in a while when a guy is feeling lazy it can be pretty great. If she were to resist giving up her control when you want to start getting more serious then I'd say that'd be a bit of a turn off. No guy wants to feel like the woman fucked them! lol.
None of that really matters. Each relationship is unique and has its own unique sets of rules. Some men like one thing some like another. You can ask all day but i'd just assume it 50/50.
Nooo. Physical abuse is out of the question. I know that not every one likes the same thing that's why I provided as much options as possible and added an other in case I missed any.
I get what you're saying, i hope you didn't create to get an idea of how you should be in a relationship though. Just be and do whatever makes you happy and comfortable. Don't conform to someone else idea of a ideal relationship. If you were just curious, i'm sure you were, then were you surprised by the results?
Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate that. I didn't create the poll so I can conform to the option with the highest result though. I'm dating an "alpha male" & I find myself being submissive to him. I don't mind at all. In fact, I like it. It's a turn on. He's not hitting me, calling me names or anything. He's just naturally dominant. I guess also because of the field he's in. Plus I grew up seeing my mom take care of her boyfriend in every single way including financially. I hated that. I guess that's why Im so drawn to this guy.
I would absolutely love to have a dominant, aggressive, assertive, spontaneous girl who would get touchy and grabby anytime she gets in the mood.
In bedroom - Submissive girl - I love it
Outside of bedroom - not so submissive ;)
No thanks.
I can be both. Its not that black and white for me. It really depends on my mood. Sometimes I am submissive only in bedroom sometimes outside... Depends on my mood. So thats why i voted other
I like women who think for themselves but that does not being rude/bitchy.
Also if I am a good leader in her mind then she will follow me. This cannot be demanded. It is earned. When I lead I also value & consider her opinion.
In the bedroom I prefer a woman who can be both sub and dom but if she is only sub all the time that's fine. What happens in bed just depends on the mood at the time.
Are crazy women good in bed? Yes. But from my POV like 99% of women are crazy. There's different degrees to it tho. The more crazy the better in bed, I guess. Maybe women think all men are crazy too.
I'd feel too weird if a woman wasn't opinionated, too '50's for me, and I never had a crazy woman, either because I don't attract them or I run
I prefer to have the final say if something is critical and requires a tie breaker, but I like to have her be valid on giving input, so I'm not making all the decisions myself. So... mostly equal. I want to know she can pull weight in the relationship too, and is just as capable of thinking things through as myself. Which gives me confidence that if I'm ever compromised, she'll be competent enough to have my back. And still able to support me even when she's not on her A game. Sharing the load. Division of labor. That sort of thing.
I'm submissive inside and outside of the bedroom. Submissive doesn't mean weak or spineless either. A lot of people have this misconception of what it really means. It can be frustrating.
I agree so much to this. A woman can be strong, educated, hardworking etc and still be submissive. Especially if the guy is like an alpha male
Definitely. I still have a voice. In fact, I'm highly opinionated. I know what I want in life and in men. I'm assertive and shit. So submissive is just another way of letting the male take the lead but not in a timid, mousy way. I guess I could be considered old fashioned? Well, in the sense of traditional gender roles - not the whole "shut up, bitch, and make me a pot pie" thing because I will not stand for that kinda treatment. Oh hell no.
👏👏👏👌👌 Right on! & LOL @ "shut up bitch and make me a pot pie" haha. He wouldn't be getting a damn thing from me. That's for sure 👌
seems like the natural order of things in general.
i agree with cheergirl38139!
Agreed
I could never enjoy being the dominant in bed, I don't think I'd get any satisfaction from it. I am a very opinionated, bitch with a crazy switch, I can be very nice as many of my exes would tell you, patient and supportive. I do all the housework without being told to, and pay attention to what makes him happy. But do not flip my switch, as men always do. I would never give a man dominion over me, that is just dumb.
I would like a little retaliation. Don't be a plank with no autonomy. She can be dominant but secretly want to be submissive so enjoy me dominating her.
I am dominant in all aspects of the relationship. However, I am very interested in trying out the submissive side of the bedroom.
Dominant outside and in the bed
1) It's a turn on if she has the same opinions as I do, a turn off if not.
2) - Define crazy. Of course I don't like clinically insane women, but I do like women that can be a little crazy (especially if she's crazy about me). I wouldn't know about the pussy though (virgin).
3) Submissive women are usually my favorite, as long as she has a brain of her own. I'd rather have a woman that submits to me because she cares about me and trusts me, than due to internalized sexism or lack of self-confidence. I don't think anybody can complain about an equal relationship dynamic, it's just that it can be a little disappointing if she doesn't take on a submissive role every now and then. As for dominant women, there is no way in hell. It's one of the single biggest turn offs. Instant deal breaker.
Women who self-proclaim themselves as submissive can a lot of the times be extremely dull and boring in the sac. I'm very domineering in my real life and in the bedroom. I like a challenge and I like a girl with some fight in her. I don't like this whole idea of "Here is my body... have your way with me." Not into necrophilia bro. If I slap her across the face, then I want her to try and slap my back. Ultimately I always come out on top given my size but it also has to the with the mental side of it as well. It's sexy when a girl can mentally challenge me and finds a way to get under my skin. If I don't have to earn your submission, then your submission means nothing. That means you'll submit to any guy.
"If I don't have to earn your submission, then your submission means nothing. That means you'll submit to any guy." This, thank you.
I will start the slow clap. I've always said a woman who is willingly submissive from the jump go out and seek attention from other men too, I witness it all the time. I think men must earn submission, because in a respectful relationship, the girl should be a bit of submissive anyway because she'll never be a man, no matter how she tries. However, I am not dull in bed and I am sub in the sense that I allow him to pin me down, spank me, pull my hair and call me his little whore. I allow choking too, just don't kill me or there will be no dinner for you later mister. Dead bitches can't make supper.
@FýrdracaDócincel In all fairness, that line was originally said by @redeyemindtricks. I've always looked at this way but she just worded it really well. No copyright issues here red..
I'm not submissive in any aspect other than sexual and I think equality is a primordial aspect for a healthy relationship. If one person feels like they're more powerful than the other in the relationship it's a huge red flag.
Exactly. unequal power dynamics in a relationship is unhealthy and leads to a lot of problems.
I'm always dominant
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