Help me get over my boyfriend's sexual past?

My boyfriend has been with 14 girls total within 3 years before dating me including w/ close friends, girls he doesn't know their name, & a threesome. He is bipolar & told me that none of these girls meant anything & he has sex w/ these girls to boost his ego & have him feel better about himself. He said sex is purely physical to him & its fun thing to do & it means nothing. I on the other hand see sex as special & only w/ a guy I care about. What bothers me is that some of these girls are still his friends. I see them quite a lot. His close friend who he had sex w/ he's known since birth & it makes me sick that he can so easily have sex w/ her. He had sex w/ her 7x b/c after the 1st time having sex he said it was convient & easy when you are drunk. He doesn't even find her attractive & the last couple times she asked for sex he turned her down. This close friend of his lives w/ other girls & my boyfriend has made out w/ them too. He still hangs out w/ them w/ his guy friends sometimes when I'm not there & I trust him but I dont trust those girls. He brings me around these girls & he's still super affectionate & loving w/ me when Im around them. My boyfriend has told me that he's only had sex w/ 1 girl that he loved & that is me. He says that our sex is different compared to all those other girls & that I am the best he's ever had. We have been together for over a year & we love each other a lot. Within those 3 years of sleeping around he didn't have a girlfriend but when he met me we fell in love & he asked me to be his girlfriend within a month. He's a great boyfriend but at the same time I can't get over his past. It sickens me and I constantly think about it. I get these vivid thoughts of him & these girls together & it drive me crazy. When I'm w/ them I feel inferior b/c they shared a special moment w/ him and he's seen them naked & found them attractive enough to get hard & put it in them. Does anyone have any advice on helping me feel better about this situation?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • yeah. I'd say his past is pretty typical. the best way to get over this is to have him go get tested to make sure he's clean. at my age, i know at least twenty women with whom I've had sex with in the past and with whom i can and sometimes do have sex with casually throughout the year, and I'd say it's pretty even in terms of them caring me and me calling them... none of us are jealous or controlling, we just desire each other's company from time to time. I'd totally commit to someone, but it's not clear to me that's what i really want to do right now, given a lot of factors, including the nature of my employment and many or factors. All of my relationships in my twenties were monogamous, multi year commitments. i think as you get older, people's sex history becomes less interesting and worrisome. it's probably age appropriate for you to feel the way you do. i don't even ask and really don't care and don't want to know, because as time goes on, people will have done everything imaginable.

    • also, trust him with what he's telling you. i believe you are special to him and he loves you. does he want to be monogamous with you?

  • Try thinking about it in a different way. Yes he has had lots of friends with benefits but none of those girls have his heart like you do. He could of asked any of them to be his girlfriend but he didn't because he doesn't love them. He asked you within a month. If you trust him then don't worry about those other girls. At the end of the day he heads home into your arms. You have his love, not them, They should be jealous of you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • His past is his past. I've had a lot of sexual partners in my past. Granted, in a specific way. But still, like he's with you, not them. That's for a reason. He could still have been with his close friend if he wanted to, I'm sure.

  • What you have now is more important than what happened in the past. Don't let it ruin your present

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • They say.. Yesterday is history.. tomorrow is a mystery.. but today is a gift.. thata why it's called PRESENT!

    Concentrate on your present.. you can't ignore the past but can't change it as well. So better thinking about your future with this present guy. He's YOUR present now. Don't let his past ruin your present. Forget what happened in the past. But equally, don't have sex unless you feel you guys are just in that zone. Love doesn't mean sex remember that. Have a good life ahead!☺

  • You should turn this problem on it's head. Be proud of how attractive your boyfriend must be, and how good he is with women. Your children, if you have any, will inherit his good genes. You've captured the heart of a guy who could have his choice of women, so be proud.

  • You should break up with him

    • No, she should not.

  • dont he fuck you well?