Ladies do you still love the man who took your virginity?

[WantAnswersNow]

I lost my virginity at 12 years old. I'm 28 almost 29 now and still in love with the man who took mine. its taking me two types of therapy to help get over him. I haven't seen him since I've been 12 years old but I remember our memories together. my therapist also told me the reason I haven't been in a healthy relationship yet is because I'm always comparing my boyfriends to the guy who deflowered me. my mom told me no man wants to compete with a guy in my head that I'm stuck on. I think the men I get involved with somehow know I'm not over him. or they know I'm not over someone. Men can you tell when a woman is not over someone? without her stating the obvious?

[Anonymous]

absolutely not. my boyfriend (at the time 3 years ago) wanted to have sex. i said no because i wasn't in the mood and i was on my period because i was. he got very pissy with me because periods don't last 24 hours then go away like he thought.

when he got angry awhile after me saying "no", he told me "stop being a bitch and just have sex with me (my name) instead of using your period as an excuse not to". i told him "no, i'm not gonna let you say when or when i will have sex, especially the first time". after that he got aggressive and pushed me onto my bed and well... let's just say he was really determined to make me lose my virginity by basically "raping" me because i didn't want sex at the time and he did.

yes i broke up with him right after because he forced me into sex when i didn't want it. surprisingly he was smart enough to use a condom but too stupid to not have enough patience and know forcing me into sex wasn't right. haven't seen the guy since then, and honestly don't know if she's changed or not in a good or bad way in the past 3 years

[WantAnswersNow]

I am so sorry you had to go through that

[Opinion Owner]

it's fine... i'm sorta passed it, but still always plays back in my mind when my current boyfriend brings up sex every here and there

[lord_chilled]

what an asshole.. thats rape, not sorta rape..

[LolaB13]

I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend in high school but he dumped me because his friends and family were giving him shit about dating a black woman (he's white) a couple of years ago, before he got engaged he apologized to me for that. Now he's married with a family. He was my first love. We're friends and I talk to him from time to time. Sometimes I wonder what if?

[WantAnswersNow]

I am so sorry that happened to you baby girl. racist people suck. :(

[LolaB13]

Ugh they really do 😩

[WantAnswersNow]

they would've had the prettiest grandbabies. I have two mixed kids. my son doesn't look mixed though he looks like he has two black parents but looks just like me. my daughter is half black too but very light skinned with blonde afro like hair

[LolaB13]

Yeah we definitely would have had some cute kids but his loss I guess 😂

[Wonderer89]

No, not at all and I too lost my virginity young. We're still friendly to each other if we see one another out and about, sent each other a card when we both got married but that's it.

I don't find it at all possible for a 12 year old to understand romantic love enough to have that depth of feeling for another being. Therapy is definitely the right way forward

[samhradh_leannan]

I feel a certain sentimentality about our relationships- first loves are special in a way. But I don't love HIM. I had a really hard time getting over him but at this point, I'm not just over him, I actually feel like I dodged a bullet.

Good luck! I really hope you are able to get to that point. It is amazingly freeing.

[jp612612]

You know, I'm always fascinated by these people who have sex at such a young age. Like out on the west coast, it's not that common but the girls I met in college who were from rural areas in the south or midwest all first had sex at that 12-14 window. And it was always with some 18 year old guy!

Anyway, you mentioned that you've had therapy and I think that that's a good thing. It might be my west coast sensibilities talking, but I can't imagine that a 12 year old could really fall in love with anyone. I agree with your therapist -- you're probably over romanticizing something that wasn't anywhere near what love really is and in reality, it's highly likely that this guy took advantage of the fact that you were a 12 year old.

[WantAnswersNow]

no I dont think he took advantage of me. it was all my doing.

[NicknameShirt]

Everyone here is so stuck on the age. The fact is you are stuck on someone from the past. I have no idea how to let go of it, but you ask if we guys can tell.
I'm not sure I could, but it is very easy to see in a girls face if she's "not present". I don't know how much you tell them, or how expressive you are. If you look totally gone during sex, I would take it as me not performing well, I wouldn't automatically assume I was compared to someone else. I don't know.
One day you will understand how to let go.

[WantAnswersNow]

I'm trying. therapy is helping to an extent

[NicknameShirt]

What is the nature of your longing? Do you keep pictures, do you dream of him during the night, consciously think of him, or is it just something in the back of your mind. There was a girl I grew really attached to, and then she moved away. I dreamed of her every night for over a year. I sometimes cried, I wrote things to her (which I never sent). I really desired to make love to her, have an experience with her, tie a sexual bond. The year passed, and I sort of accepted that it wouldn't happen. I met her again, and realized she wasn't really the person I had constructed her to be in my memory and fantasies. Still loved her a lot, but the strong desire went away. It took time to realize. I also got more busy in my own life, and met new women who were fantastic as well.

[WantAnswersNow]

I've just always been in love with him. he's was so gorgeous and sweet. I always wanted to be his

[WantAnswersNow]

sorry took me so long to respond. I was playing with my daughter.

[NicknameShirt]

It's okay. Do you think he still just like you remember though?

[WantAnswersNow]

I dont think so. I'm aware people change. and I can't remember his face too clearly. I just remember his features. that's why I'm having trouble finding him

[kaylaS91]

Nobody 'took' what you call virginity as I';m no less of a person.
I'm not with the guy I slept with for the first time and couldn't care less.

[XRabbitHeartX]

No not at all. I loved him at that time but I have moved on and no longer want him

[Cmasterson]

Hell no. I wasn't inlove with him to begin with though.

[Anastasiya00]

Im sorry but I can't ignore it: Who the fuck takes the virginity of a 12 yr old? was he your same age? hopefully he was 14 or under cause more its creepy

[Alexgagnon]

12 years old. no wonder your messed up on that guy. he most likely took complete advantage of you gave you what's known as the Stockholm syndrome

[WantAnswersNow]

no he didn't take advantage of me

[WantAnswersNow]

it was all my doing. I tempted him and told him I wanted to have sex with him

[Alexgagnon]

how old was he

[WantAnswersNow]

17 years old

[Alexgagnon]

lol ya he took advantage. he should have known better but didn't care. you were 12 he was 17, in Canada that is statutory rape, don't matter how you play it off. sorry to say hun but you may have a different understanding of the situation, but in the real world that is an older male manipulating the emotional and mental state of a child. I have had children fall in love with me before, (used to baby sit I'm high school) but when she is 12 and I am in high school, I knew that it was wrong for me to take advantage of a young women who doesn't know anything about sex or relationships or how to deal with emotional side of physically giving yourself to someone

[WantAnswersNow]

I didn't look like a child at that age. I had the body of a grown woman so believe me I tempted him. I took advantage of the fact I had huge boobs and a nice butt at that age

[Alexgagnon]

this is why you can't get over him. Stockholm Syndrome is most likely what's going on here. you think he is an angle when in the real world he is raping kids

[WantAnswersNow]

no he's not. he's not even on the sex offender registry. thank god. I told the police and doctors it was all my fault. I defended him and didn't comply with them unless they left him alone

[Alexgagnon]

ya that a kid who doesn't know any better and an adult who should have done the right thing but didn't. he needs to be on that list for the safety of all the 12 year girls around him

[WantAnswersNow]

if he's not on the registry now that means he never fucked up again

[Alexgagnon]

once you are on that list you can't get off eh...

[holograph]

If we asked you for a basic description of this guy, what would it be? And don't censor yourself (other than avoiding identifying information) out of being aware that we're going to analyze your answer specifically in the context of how "over him" you are.

Or, even if you don't want to answer that question here, ask yourself that question, write down your answer, and then analyze the answer you wrote down.

[WantAnswersNow]

blonde hair blue\green eyes

[musicbrain5]

12... wow that is so young 😔

But to answer your question - oh yeah, he is the love of my life. We ended up getting married.

[WantAnswersNow]

for some reason its not letting me view your whole opinion. y'all ended up doing what?

[musicbrain5]

Getting married.

[WantAnswersNow]

aww that is so sweet

[SteppingOnRoses]

No XD

Because I am a virgin still XD

[SteppingOnRoses]

you call him man... so how old he was when he took your virginity?

[ve_123]

I am still in love with the man who took my virginity. But now that I think about it, I think it's more of the memories I'm in love with.

[WantAnswersNow]

I know how you feel.

[Poppykate]

That's the saddest thing ever. You were 12 and he was 17. I think you need to continue to go to therapy.

[unicorncore]

No I don't care about him anymore, I was 17 and now I am 20

[JimRSmith]

I hope this isn't the general case (and I don't think it is).

It's another good reason not to have sex at such a young age. There's an age of consent for a reason.

[karahiri]

Do people even remember this? After like a decade or two?

[LittleAmyP]

Yes I do, he's still my boyfriend

[rgb008]

Yes.
I am still with him.

[KingDio]

im hear to listen as i too am curious if girls do as a ex i can't get out of my head who really did a dozzy to me but wonder if she would still remember as i was her first , as for us telling not really

[TacosRAwesome]

Only because he is still my boyfriend.

[WantAnswersNow]

lucky you

[TacosRAwesome]

We have only been together for a bit over a year.

[WantAnswersNow]

so you waited to lose yours? I applaud you for that. there's many girls who lost theirs early only because they thought not being a virgin was cool. I lost mine cause I really liked the guy and loved him. I honestly didn't have sex ever again till 4 years after that

[TacosRAwesome]

I was kinda forced to wait. As in I waited voluntarily till 21 or so (by that I mean, I wasn't so bothered with being a virgin). Then started dating my ex, who had a huge virginity fetish, by that I mean he was super excited about being a virgin and thought it made him the best human on the planet (he was a shitty human). Put up with it for 4 years. Anyways, eventually and praise the Lord, we broke up. Met my current boyfriend and after a while we started having sex.

[bgowd]

A "man" fucked you when you were 12? Jesus.

[WantAnswersNow]

so? it happens

[bgowd]

how old was he?

[WantAnswersNow]

17 years old

[disgustingweebtrash]

thumbs.dreamstime.com/.../...red-pill-12837443.jpg

[Nahid1234]

nice story.