Do you require some sort of connection before you find a person sexually attractive?

[Warmapplecrumble]

[MrOracle]

No. Sexual attraction (for most men) is simply a matter of "does she look attractive to me?" and if the answer is "yes", then she's sexually attractive.

Now, it IS true that if you get to know her a bit and find she has an awful personality or exhibits bad behavior - or she's straight-up crazy - then you can re-categorize her as NOT someone you have any interest in, so there certainly CAN be a personality/behavioral component, but that's more of an exclusionary thing.

Note, we are also NOT talking about whether we want a RELATIONSHIP or EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with this girl - just whether we find her sexually attractive and would want sex with her. Remember that most men can want sex (and can have it and enjoy it) without needing an emotional connection.

[Daniel3035]

100% Yes I can't open up until i'm sure thats why I have a tough exterior. I couldn't have sex with a Victoria Secret model if there wasn't a connection there first it doesn't work like that. To me sex is more then recreational it's how I say I love you and talk in a way words couldn't.

[Ginaxoxo54321]

No I don't need a connection to find someone sexy. Before my man was my man I found him soooo fucking attractive I wanted him to fuck me so bad. then as I got to know him we formed a connection. tho, I've initially seen a guy (my ex bf) that I was not attracted to at all but as time went by and our friendship grew I slowly became attracted to him and that was because we had formed such a strong connection.

[Catie101]

It is an extreme rarity for me to just see someone and be sexually attracted to them. Generally I think nothing of their appearance until I start to get to know them better. If I get along with them well and like who they are as a person I start to see them in a new light. That's when I start to think "hey, he's hot".

[QuerulousXytenar]

you don't experience sexual attraction instinctively when you see attractive person? before some sort of connection you are asexual?

[Catie101]

@QuerulousXytenar I very rarely see a man and think "he's hot" "he's cute" "he's sexy". It happens sometimes, but not often. As i get to know someone and see good qualities in that person then I start to find them hot.

[QuerulousXytenar]

You are demisexual?

[Catie101]

@QuerulousXytenar I've never seen that term before now, just looked it up and... i guess so.

[QuerulousXytenar]

A question... Any guy with good qualities - you will find him hot? Black, short, fat etc?

[Catie101]

@QuerulousXytenar No I still have a type

[QuerulousXytenar]

Lol. Then you experience physical attraction first they think about the person?

[Catie101]

@QuerulousXytenar this is very hard to explain lol the guys I eventually do find attractive have similar features i guess you could say, but I am still not initially attracted to them

[QuerulousXytenar]

Then you can date any guy, can't you? Also you can date a women?

[conchitina]

And you say that you're 100% straight? LOL

[Catie101]

@QuerulousXytenar Im not attracted to women, even when I get to know them, so no.

[Catie101]

@conchitina I dont become attracted to women

[Midnight_Rose97]

Yes, never had a hook up in my life and don't intend to.

I require a connection with a person before I find them sexually and physically attractive.

[DanReynolds]

So youve never looked at a guy and felt anything remotely sexual toward him without speaking to him?

[Midnight_Rose97]

Yes, I think they look good but I'd never feel anything sexual. Like I want to have sex with them rn. Not even with celebrities. There is more to a person than just sex 😜 I crave who they are, their likes and dislikes and whatnot.

[Warmapplecrumble]

I'm like you aswell @Midnight_Rose97, demisexual

[Midnight_Rose97]

Thank you 💜 The dating scene can be hard for people like us. Because sadly people don't feel the same way 😞

[Warmapplecrumble]

Yeah I've always been rejected because I took too long to form a connection. I found my boyfriend though :-) I think what helps is online dating, where you develop feelings slowly maybe for a week then meet the person in real life. That's kind of what I did.

[Midnight_Rose97]

I might give that a try. I normally start out as friends with my desired partner and then see where it goes from there. It can work sometimes.

[Warmapplecrumble]

I guess you could date them several times? Till you develop a connection or take it very slow

[Midnight_Rose97]

Yeah I'll give it a try, if I find a guy to date. Thanks for the advice.

[Warmapplecrumble]

You are welcome ♥

[DanReynolds]

So just nothing about guys really attracts you? Its all about the personality? Whats to stop u from developing feelinggs for women?

[Warmapplecrumble]

@DanReynolds can only get orgasm from vaginal penetration, women seem to be rude and bitchy.

[Warmapplecrumble]

@DanReynolds I develop attraction for his looks after the connection

[DanReynolds]

But its not really attraction to men as a whole its just more u prefer spending time around men, nothing about men actually attracts or draws you in. Also sorry if it sounds like im judging

[Warmapplecrumble]

@DanReynolds no I definitely like looking at men and find the way they look very interesting. But I don't feel anything sexual till I have a connection. I don't know why I am like this :-/

[Midnight_Rose97]

I'm a straight girl so I don't find women attractive, I also had very severe bulling and drama from girls at school so I struggle to even make friends of the same sex. Been a tomboy since I was born and love hanging around guys. I do find guys attractive, but I don't see that as a priority. I can like a guy from personality alone. Sex only comes with a strong bond. I think it's a more strong love but other guys don't see it that way and just think your being fussy 😞 I agree @Warmapplecrumble I don't know why I'm this way either.

[SnowyOwl]

You can find people sexually attractive and not have a connection. But if there is someone you don't find attractive at first and you develop a connection, you can also develop some attraction, even as much attraction you could have towards anyone. And I know this is true, from my own experience.

[jpmoore89]

I voted no but that said, I still want a connection before I have sex. Its one thing to see a cute girl who is very attractive and biologically have a desire to want sex with her but quite another to actually do it. I want to be with her, get to know her, and genuinly be in love first.

[rep56]

I usually don't I base it off looks. But when getting to know a person, the importance of looks may diminish, stay the same or increase. I believe a combo of good looks and good personality is the best for sexual attraction but I usually like the eye candy, I am not going to lie. Hahaha. :* :* :*. What about you? Do you require some sort of connection to find a MAN sexually attractive or just looks? I am curious too. Haha.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Yes I need a connection before I find a man attractive :-)

[rep56]

Interesting. I like to see different opinions from mine. Do you usually get that connection by meeting the person or a "vibe."?

[Warmapplecrumble]

Both :-) I can't find anyone attractive unless I feel a connection. It's actually frustrating because many people don't feel the same way.

[rep56]

Interesting. Well, I am sure a guy will feel the same way eventually. I do not know if you are in a relationship but I bet you will have no problems. Plus, you are good looking too. No prob. :* :* :* :*

[rep56]

I like your hair on the very cute profile picture you have! :D

[Warmapplecrumble]

I have a boyfriend :-) No actually lol I struggle in the dating scene. Many guys rejected me. But it doesn't matter. Thank you for the compliments.

[rep56]

Of course! Well. I bet they lost someone very cute. I am glad you are with him. And you are welcome for the compliments. :*

[Warmapplecrumble]

Awww you are sweet :-* :-* :-)

[rep56]

You are even more sweet. Like warmapplecrumble. Haha. Your name says it all! :* :* :*

[rep56]

And by the way, where are you from originally? :*

[Warmapplecrumble]

Thanks :-) I'm ethnicity wise Punjabi Nepali Caucasian

[Zyares]

I don't need any connection to find them sexually attractive.. I do need some sort of connection to enjoy any sexual acts with this person however.

[Yumenai]

Same as Elarra I also require a emotional connection to have any type of sexual act. You can extremely sexy but if we don't click, nothing happens.

[QuerulousXytenar]

But when do you see your opposite or same sex you don't experience any attraction physically and sexually?

[Yumenai]

Physically, yes. Sexually? No.

[QuerulousXytenar]

What is the difference between physical attraction and sexual attraction?

[Yumenai]

Hmmm well physical attraction for me can mean how I really like his smile and his eyes and the way he talks or how physically he looks. It also means he might be the guy I've been looking for (or not but those ones get me more interested). Sexual attraction is when I know him for awhile, how funny he is, how kind and sweet he can be, etc, etc. It builds up the sexuality for me. Like I can find physically someone very appealing and I get interested but only when I know him enough and we kind of match personality wise that's when I start to see a spark and that's when I get sexually attracted, so to speak. I hope you understand. I mean, this is only what works for me anyway, might differ from woman to woman. :)

[Yumenai]

Also, trust me I've met guys really attractive physically but as soon as they opened their mouth, I stopped finding them handsome.

[QuerulousXytenar]

So, sexual attraction is not physical to you, it's all about mental? You can appreciate aesthetically appealing people the same way like beautiful piece of art and still don´t want to have sex with them? Physical attraction to you - find a person physically attractive. So, according to this you do experience physical attraction to women because you also find women physically attractive? You are physically attracted to anyone you find physically attractive? Actually what does this physical attraction feel like for you? Is it tingle, butterflies or sensation or just a neutral appreciation same as we appreciate nice art? Sexual attraction: I want to have sex with you. Physical attraction: You are beautiful so I probably want to have sex with you.

[Yumenai]

Well that's one way to see it. But honestly when I'm just physically attracted to someone all I feel is curiosity about them? I want to talk to them. That's all. I need more to actually feel engaged for sex.

[QuerulousXytenar]

So, you are totally unaffected by hot guys. You just feel curiosity, same way we do feel curiosity when we see new things. Both are in neutral ways. When do you see physically attractive women do you feel physical attraction? You do see guys and girls in same as. Just in friendly ways. Right?

[Justacatlady]

Nah, as long as they are fit, slightly muscled and well groomed, then their body would be sexually appealing.

[QuerulousXytenar]

but what is the difference do you feel when you see fit, slightly muscled and well groomed guys vs sexy women?

[Justacatlady]

@QuerulousXytenar My description was for both genders. I like men and women

[QuerulousXytenar]

you are bisexual?

[Justacatlady]

@QuerulousXytenar Yes

[MichaelShapiro]

Yes. I have seen beautiful woman that as soon as they open their mouths and speak, I am no longer interested. I feel that while yes some physical attraction is nice and helps, it is who a person is and how we connect and if there is a spark that piques my interest.

[InfoBot]

No, this is not a requirement for most males. Don't even need to know your name. To be honest, you don't even need to have a head.

[poopedmypantsagain]

The only connection I need from the opposite sex is that she wants to meet me as much as I want to meet her, once that is established we can talk about other things and see where it goes from there.. but no I do not go out looking for some women with a certain quality in my mind, I guess many will do that and I don't get that part.. but that old saying is true I guess.. to each their own... but I do not get the mindset.. never will you find that ideal person you are looking for I have found so what is the point in going out and looking for a certain quality if you have that mindset, take care now

[Bleh-___-]

Nah I can find anyone sexually attractive (unless I get to know them and they're complete idiots). But that's on a very shallow level. For me to actually like them I do need a connection.

[Losalt]

It would have been better with a in-between option included too.
For me it's no, but it sure helps.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Oh I didn't think about that

[Losalt]

Well, now you do. ;-)

[Warmapplecrumble]

:-) :-p

[Anastasiya00]

Well no, I see attractive guys everyday at the gym, street, anywhere and im instantly sexuallyy attracted to them but at the same time I would not sleep with someone just like that. I wouldn't give my virginity to a random guy who doesn't care about me

[QuerulousXytenar]

what does sexual attraction feel like for you?

[Anastasiya00]

@QuerulousXytenar what do you mean? I guess you mean the equal of a boner for you guys lol hmmm I automatically imagine him touching me and I like the idea lol. literally for me is like oh boy he is so hot please touch my boobs and kiss me I don't know hahaha

[QuerulousXytenar]

So, you are sexually passive girl. You don't want to do something with guys but want that guys do sexual things with you?

[Anastasiya00]

@QuerulousXytenar nono. Nothing to do. That was just an example of what I imagine.

[uradorito_]

there will always be guys where I mentally go "oh my God you're perfect hnggg" but, even those guys it's not like I get any stimulation out of it or I get turned on by them, I need the connection.

[QuerulousXytenar]

So, you don't experience visual stimulation. Only physical stuff ex: kissing, foreplay can turn you on. No kiss, no for play for 60 days - you will never experience sexual turn on for 60 day. You need a guy and need connection to get turn on.

[uradorito_]

I don't know what you mean by the end part, that comment was a mess. but yes, only physical stuff such as the things you described can turn me on. I get nothing out of just seeing a hot guy. I need physical contact to be turned on.

[QuerulousXytenar]

according to you without physical contact you don't experience sexual turn on? If in your whole life if you don't get any physical contact you won't get arouse? Logically you don''t need to masturbate, or don't need to get horny because you only get turn on when physical contact is present. Right?

[fabulouspancakes]

No. Maybe I'm more like a guy in this way, but sexual attraction and emotional connection are not always correlated for me. However, I can lose sexual attraction to someone if they turn out to be an awful person.

[SorrowPlays]

Yep. Probably already mentioned but that can be considered demisexuality.

[HereToProveMyPoint]

I can find any attractive people attractive, but I wouldn't want to actually pursue anything sexual unless we had a strong relationship

[QuerulousXytenar]

you don't experience sexual attraction instinctively when you see attractive person? before some sort of connection you are asexual?

[Genie23]

Yes, I do. I need to have an emotional connection with someone before I find him sexually attractive

[QuerulousXytenar]

you don't experience sexual attraction instinctively when you see attractive person? before some sort of connection you are asexual?

[Znikeihsa]

Always... I know for a fact that I have to feel a connection before even beginning to THINK about sex-related activities.

[QuerulousXytenar]

you don't experience sexual attraction instinctively when you see attractive person? before some sort of connection you are asexual?

[JohnReedLOL2]

Are you demisexual?

[Znikeihsa]

@QuerulousXytenar I can recognize an attractive person when I see one. But like, if someone is interested in me, and shows signs of interest in sexual activities and I don't feel that connection, the thought kind of... disgusts me? or on the lighter side it's more of an "eh".

[Znikeihsa]

@JohnReedLOL2 I don't know-- I find that trying to label exactly what I am just confuses me.

[JohnReedLOL2]

I think the majority of women feel disgusting when a guy shows explicit interest in sexual acts and doesn't establish feelings of intimacy. That's pretty normal.

[QuerulousXytenar]

So, you are asexual because you don't experience any attraction physically and mentally when you see hot women and hot men?

[xButterflyKisses87x]

Before I got married, I did sleep around a little bit mainly because I couldn't keep a relationship... But no, some people don't need a connection

[JSmith925]

Sure, I can find them sexually attractive but I don't want to act on it without getting to know them first and having some emotional connection. Besides, if I get physical with them, I will end up emotionally involved and getting to know them anyway. So, what if they are a player or destructive or just completely incompatible with me. Now what?
I learned a long time ago to look before I leap. My heart and body are to connected to operate separately.
~JSmith