Is it reasonable that I don't want to swallow his load?

Question

I recently started seeing this guy, like two weeks ago. So far we had sex two times and I sucked him off five times. He really likes BJ's and he's been asking me (almost begging me) to swallow it when he cums in my mouth. The thing is, I only do that for special people. We are still in the "getting to know each other" phase and he hasn't been really clear about where this is going, and I don't want to swallow until we're official. It is a very special act to me. He's not pushy about it when I suck him off but he keeps mentioning it when we sext and I'm getting tired of saying no. How do I explain to him that I won't swallow it until I'm sure about his intentions without seeming pushy?

Zer0Ghost · Accepted Answer

No, it's not reasonable, you've drawn a completely arbitrary line in the sand at swallowing, which is pretty much just the easy clean up method, to which you've assigned an asinine amount of "intimacy" value.

The "line" for most people is sex, which you're already comfortable with, more like cozy since it's been multiple times and you sext each other. Withholding to gain commitments is a dumb concept that does not work, but what you've done here is just... ridiculous.

By all means, you can tell him, and if his answer isn't somewhere along the lines of "that's absurd, my dick has already been in your mouth, that's oral sex, how is the line at how you decide to finish" I'll eat my hat

Tdieseler · Accepted Answer

No, it fucking stupid.
if you want to do it, just fucking do it.
I've never gotten this whole thing where women restrict themselves from doing shit just because something else has not been established. I guess thats the difference between guys and girls...
guys are naturally dumb, girls TRY to be dumb.
You just said you want to swallow it... then fucking do it...
You have broken intimacy boundaries 7 times... but are still bothered about where "this" is going?
obviously its a sexual thing... so keep it sexual... Gulp.

Jenkins632 · Accepted Answer

Do whatever you're comfortable with doing. I'm guessing he's just honey and it's a turn on for him, but you're already giving him BJs, you're doing more then enough. Sexual experiences with someone you're attracted to can be amazing, and communication is great, as long as it isn't pushy. I think the best way to go is be completely truthful about it, explain why you don't want to and tell him how it's making you feel that he keeps hinting at it.

Wonderer89 · Accepted Answer

Not really... I mean, you're already blowing him, readily accepting semen into your mouth many times after only two weeks but are making some arbitrary line of swallowing because you're not sure he's special enough?
I don't think anyone should do what they don't want to, but it seems like this is more of a petty power play than a genuine need to create intimacy before getting too deep

afvgkml · Accepted Answer

ask him about his views or opinions or decision to your "getting to know each other phase" . I think he is not thinking anything about u.. he is enjoying you n your sexual appeal. but yes put forward your views to him that u don't want to suck until it's official. and see what he says about it
. then take any decision.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't swallow
prefer a large soft towel but could go anywhere else avoiding hair, eyes

No explanation will be understood or honored over little head entitlement desires

"I only swallow official boyfriend cum" plainly puts payment on the table, so he must put up or shut up

cheriya · Answer

What do you mean "special people" though, lmao

Also, I find it weird that you met him two weeks ago and already had sex a few times before, but aren't committed to doing what he wants because you don't feel like you know him completely, yet you give him the rest etc. I mean you do you. If you don't want to, don't.

SteppingOnRoses · Answer

just tell him u only do it with people u see as special and that it is too early for u to see him like that yet

UnknownXYZ · Answer

Ah well... Sucks to be him. I hope he is happy with boring missionary sex. Jokes aside, I don't think you should push not swallowing upon him if he isn't willing to compromise. Be prepared to accept he doesn't want have sex with you anymore because of it. There's nothing more frustrating than intentionally withholding sexual acts. Either way the choice is up to you.

pretty-kitty · Answer

I personality think it's weird hat you're willing to suck him off and you're always willing to have sex with him but you draw the line at swallowing cum? That's super weird to me but why ever, you don't wanna do it then don't do it.. personally would stop seeing him because if a guy doesn't take no for an answer I find it disrespectful and unattractive. It's not a good quality in a man.

SpurtLover · Answer

First of all, it seems very awesome of you to suck him off 5 times withing your 1st two weeks of dating. And if he doesn't realize that you are the kind of girl that all men look for, then he had better figure it out soon. I think it;s very reasonable for you to tell him that you won't start eating his sperm until you two are exclusive and that you love him.

Kabsklwbsv · Answer

Your basically ruining half the experience. I suggest you adapt to the porn expectations most people have nowadays otherwise he'll find someone else to swallow.
It sounds harsh but people always try to fill a void and if you don't someone will.
It's a mouthful of drink nothing special about it. It dies in your stomach immediately actually it's dead when it leaves his body basically 😂 but u get the idea I don't see the connection between special and that swallowing.
Because if u think about bjs should be special too..
It surprises me when promiscuous chicks have unexplainable standards lool

Robsinsf53 · Answer

WOW! He's not special and you've blown him 5 times, only had sex twice, & all in 2 weeks? FUCK, he better just shut up about the swallowing, lol. My ex wife swallowed all the time... twice a month after the wedding. I think when I told her I wanted the ring back was the beginning of our demise... I'm joking. Joking bout the ring, not the head and frequency.

Intraluminal · Answer

Just say that you only do that once you feel especially close.

BlackWidow420 · Answer

you know it's nothing special right? its just more attractive and he is gonna like you more

Browneye57 · Answer

Oh geez... way too much porn for these two. Oh well.

And it has NOTHING to do with intentions. If you don't want to do it then don't. You're taking a side dish and trying to make it the whole dinner. [shrug]

Rudra93 · Answer

Swallow or don't swallow, it doesn't mean anything. You are way past the line which you are referring to already.

kitty71 · Answer

This relationship to you is purely sexual, how can you assume this is going for somethign special and you do this with only guys you feel special bond? This is merely a sexual relationship you ahve with this guy, nothing else.

WhistleForTheChoir · Answer

You do whatever you're comfortable with.

frido · Answer

Just dont. Rule this shit over him xD

cattertone · Answer

its very reasonable you don't want to swallow. I've heard that if he has a bad diet it will make the load taste bad. the better he eats the better it tastes. especially if he eats a lot of fruit. but if you don't want to swallow just becaise the idea grosses you out that's fine too.

TheTallguy993 · Answer

Tell him he's a freak for wanting to go that far. Shaming is an effective tactic

RationalMale · Answer

You've already had sex with someone you barely know but the "special" act is whether you swallow or not?

JustCallMeLeon · Answer

Just say that you're not ready yet.

That_Nick · Answer

Tbo he should not even be asking this yet.. u say this is a new relationship? seems like he just wants u to be his porn star. Just say no for now. If he can't accept that and be grateful that u gave him a blowjob at all, then he's no good.