Swingers.. would you rather participate in a threesome with someone you just met or someone you've known?

Chico_brah Yoda

After a good search.. yesterday I had a threesome with my girlfriend for the first time (FFM). It was great but the girl wants to keep coming back and I sort of declined because she seemed to have a thing for me. Texting non stop just asking me what I'm doing lmao. The girl is 18, so she's young, and the last thing I'd want is for her to grow attachment to either one of us.

It got me thinking though.. I much rather not know that person at all. They're simply a piece of meat and they serve one benefit.. their body. That's all I want from them and I think if it were any different, then things could get messy/complicated.

Someone I just met

Vote A

Someone I've known

Vote B

I would never practicipate in a threesome

Vote C

Neutral

Vote D

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

Girl Guy

Updates:

+1 y

Before you start throwing bombs at me. My girlfriend was pregnant but unfortunately miscarried during the first trimester. I wouldn't have a threesome if she was still pregnant.

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Most Helpful Guys

Anonymous
+1 y
I say you should let her in if she wants to be with the both of you. You're already in an open, polyamorous relationship; why isn't there room for one more? She sounds cute, and no matter what people say, fucking a piece of meat isn't anywhere near as enjoyable as fucking a person who you've got some sort of attachment to. If you want nothing but an object to slide your dick in and out of, then you can get onaholes, sex dolls and the like for that. But people are people. And when you dehumanize your sexual partners to that extent, where "they're simply a piece of meat and they serve one benefit- their body", then really, what separates you from a rapist? Or a necrophiliac? IMHO, your approach to sex is no less morally contentious than theirs. She's a fellow human being- if you can't acknowledge her as one, then you shouldn't be allowed to have sex with her, full stop.
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- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  This is a pretty common thing and a lot of women get off on being objectified. What makes me different than a necrophiliac? That's self explanatory. There is also a significant difference between having sex with a doll and a real life girl. We discussed how we wanted it before it we told her she was our toy for the night. She thought it was hot and wanted to participate. Both parties left extremely satisfied.. I have no idea as to why people are throwing all these morals at me for no reason. The girl was more than satisfied a long with me and my girlfriend? What's the issue? There's absolutely none. I'm not an open relationship. From my understanding, an open relationship means we fuck other people without each other. This is our first threesome and we only plan to do FFM. I don't want a girl to have an emotional attachment to either one of us. That's for obvious reasons.
Anonymous
+1 y
It all comes down to what you want.
Generally speaking, sexual chemistry is built up over time (except on comparatively rare situations). Someone you've talked to a bit and you know that you have similar sexual interests, etc.
Swingers, by definition know what it is. They know what they're doing and what the entire Sexual relationship is about.
Yes, there are some clingy people as with anything else but maybe the issue you're having here is that you didn't exact make your intentions fully clear before having the 3some with her.
I used to be a swinger, I experienced my fair share of clingy people. This is part of why it's important to get to know a bit about who you're getting it on with, before you do anything.
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- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  We were talking on tinder for a couple days. What if you and your girl were the dominant ones and looked at the other girl as nothing but a fuck doll for our own pleasure? That was sort of the dynamic.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Tinder's not a swinger app. Tinder's not even really a casual sex app. There are MANY girls who go on tinder looking for relationships. Assuming all you've stated is exactly as it is/was then simply put, whatever dynamic exists, there's someone else into it. The dynamic you had/have isn't the issue here. The issue is y'all weren't on the same page. What you're supposed to look for is someone that's looking for exactly what you're looking for. Sex. Someone not hung up on a "repeat"/ longterm stuff. An alternative to that will be to check out Swinger sites and clubs in your area. That's assuming you're BOTH committed to the lifestyle
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  Tinder was something I'm fimilar with so I went with that. I mean everything was that despite this girl sort of giving me thenvibes that she liked me for more than my cock. Thanks though.
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- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  Everything was great* meaning the sex.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Maybe it's as I said, or maybe you're just misinterpreting the vibes. what's your gf's take?
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  She loved it just as much as me.
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  I could be. She's not doing anything too crazy.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  No, I meant. What does she think about the girl? What does she think about the messages, etc?
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  My girlfriend really likes her. She's into the whole smaller petite look which this girl was. She's into my girl as well. I just think she's into me. One thing we were trying to avoid was a girl who was just experimenting with bisexuality for the sake of getting fucked by me. I think that's what happened. We wanted a girl who was genuinely bisexual and bad experience. My girlfriend thinks that she might be into me as well based on the msgs and vibes.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Well then I think it's pretty obvious what you're supposed to look for. Someone petite, who's actually bisexual, experienced, with a compatible dynamic to yours. And as I've mentioned before, make sure you're on the same page before doing anything

Most Helpful Girls

Anonymous
+1 y
I'm not exactly a swinger. My boyfriend and I have a stag/vixen relationship. I sleep with other guys. He gets off on it. Do not confuses this with him being a cuck.
Anyway, I would rather have a threesome with people I know. I'm not a one night stand person. I'm extremely paranoid about being in situations like that. I'm uncomfortable then and no one enjoys sex when they're uncomfortable.

As for attachments I make it clear from the start that I'm not interested in anything more then sex. we can continue the sexual relationship until they catch feelings and then it's over.
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- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  To the guy that down voted me. Not sure what your issue is. Thanks for being a close minded ignorant clown. Not to worry, no one is interested in you for anything like this. Your virtue is and will be safe for a long time to come. 👍🏻
- DerekZoolander509
  +1 y
  Can you explain why this doesn't make you a swinger? Also, what is different between what you guys do and a cuck relationship?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @DerekZoolander509 To my knowledge, and I could be mistaken but, the difference is the couple involved in a swinging relationship each have sex with other people. Which is not what a stag/vixen (or hotwife) relationship is. The male (stag) only has a sexual relationship with the female. The female (vixen/hotwife) engages in sexual relationships with other people. Depends on agreement between her and her boyfriend/husband (stag). Some only have sex with other women (queen of clubs), some only black men (queen of spades) some casual encounters (queen of hearts) and some will actually have romantic relationships that aren't just sexual (queen of diamonds).
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- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  The difference between a stag and a cuck is that for the cuck it's more about HIM. It's his humiliation and her domination over him, he's expected to "clean up" after the other men, sexual relations between the woman and cuck are at best limited, usually there isn't any sex for him, the bull (the guy having sex with the woman) is expected to humiliate the cuck, as well. Often times cucks are made to dress in panties and be locked into cock cages. Even self stimulation is limited and often only given as reward. A stag is a man that's in it for her and all about HER. He's so turned on by her sexual pleasure he wants her to have it all the time and with other men. For most stags they enjoy seeing the results of it but they don't clean up the aftermath. They still enjoy sex with the vixen. There is no humiliation to this relationship. It's loving and respectful. A stag doesn't get off on humiliation. He gets his pleasure from his vixen/hotwife's pleasure.
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  Wow! That was about the most articulate and well written description of the differences between those two concepts. I had my own idea of the difference, but I couldn't have expressed nearly as well as you did. I do have a couple questions for you, if you're up for it.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Well thank you! 😊 I'd be happy to answer your questions. However, I don't pretend to know all there is to know but I'll explain what I can based on my knowledge and experiences.
- redeyemindtricks
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Cuckold fetishists are just closeted gay boys, who are **so** unwilling to just own their homosexuality that they drag their poor woman into it -- using her, essentially, as a vehicle to get oh so close to what they REALLY want (and sometimes even performing actual gay sex acts with the other dude, while STILL denying that there's anything gay about it smh). Needless to say, this can be devastating to the woman -- who, all too often, will internalize the issue (in the same way women too often do "overtime emotional labor" in so many other ways) and start believing that it's HER fault. That **she** is such a failure as a woman that she actually managed to turn her own man gay. These "cuck" boys just need to leave the woman out of it, and admit who they are. But, as usual, the extent to which boys will go to avoid admitting that they're gay/bi is AMAZING. (Think of boys who had gay sex in prison for YEARS, and won't admit that **that** is gay, either... same
- redeyemindtricks
  +1 y
  thing. It's just beyond words, tbh.)
  
  __
  
  The "stag", on the other hand -- as the opinion owner here has stated, quite eloquently -- is all about the WOMAN.
  A "stag" who's worth more than shit will not be afraid to "alpha up" when necessary, too. His woman is his favorite live-performing porn star -- but, the most important word in that phrase is HIS. She's his. The other boys she plays with are strictly two-dimensional objects. They don't have personalities, priorities, or needs that need to be taken into account (unless satisfying those "needs" is what gets HER off).
  And if one of the other boys tries to one-up HER man -- or subtly put him down, in that way boys tend to do when they're competing over a woman -- her man will have no problem stepping up and laying down the law.
  
  I wrote... lots of words, about this whole dynamic, here:
  www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2265576-what-do-you-think-of-stag-hotwife-relationships
  Known quite a few couples. Seen it work well.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Haha any other questions? redeyemindtricks, seems to have it all figured out. @redeyemindtricks Covered things pretty well. Thanks for the backup.
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  1. I know exactly what a queen of spade is, because that seems to be the bulk of porn. But you mentioned the queen of clubs, and I've never heard of that. I think that almost all guys would want a girl like that, so it's not really even a fetish. Do you have any links to these extra terms? I'm not doubting you, but I've just never ran across these terms. 2. Are you sure that Stags don't want to do cleanup? I totally get that they are more alpha and aren't into humiliation, but I don't think cleaning up is about humiliation. Unless they were forced to do it. 3. Since hotwives are free to have sex with other men, then what does it mean to be a queen of hearts? 4. Queen of Diamonds: I would think a Stag would not want his hotwife to have romantic encounters. That sounds more cuck or poly to me. 5. I understand that the Stag is about her getting the pleasure, as he doesn't want other women. But I believe that Stag is getting just as much pleasure out of this, as the naughty Vixen.
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  I'm not going to reply to redeyemindtricks, because she is just all about hate and judging. I'm not going to go that route. I'm not going to feed the monster. If she doesn't like what you do, then she needs to find her own hobby. I'm not sure how your lifestyle is a threat to her.
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Sounds like you're just afraid to argue with her because she knows her shit. She's good at getting her point across. I'm always up for a challenge, seems like you're evasive towards it. I'd understand if she was just throwing insults at you, but she brought up some valid points. Instead of challenging those point, you dismiss them completely and say she's mean. Lmao.. I just call shit how I see it.
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  Her first line: "Cuckold fetishists are just closeted gay boys, who are **so** unwilling to just own their homosexuality that they drag their poor woman into it " Do you really think she speaks from experience, or do you think she's just trying to intimidate the OP? I'm afraid to argue? LMAO I'm fascinated by what the OP is saying, and I'm bored to tears about the other gal. Why do I need to argue with her? Is that exciting for you? If so, then argue away. lol I want to pick the brain of someone who seems to know their shit. She's actually walked the walk, and not just talked the talk. She sure doesn't sound like a victim. But if she is, then I'd rather here it from her, than the person that is ASSuming that she's a victim.
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 I just call shit as I see it and that's how I saw it. I know that she knows her shit because she's taught me a lot about sex and relationships. You're barking up the wrong tree. She can talk for herself though. It just almost sounds like an evoked emotional response from you at this point. Again, calling shit as I see it.
- redeyemindtricks
  +1 y
  @chico_brah <3 Wow, thank you. That's genuinely meaningful coming from you. @martinmagic401 Yep, hate is mah middle name. Sweet, sweet hatelust... still making my life and marriage hotter every year. @ opinion owner "Thanks for the backup" ^^ yw bb 💋 #muah
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  One girl has piqued my interest, and the other girl is boring to me. I don't do well with boring. I have a low threshold for it. I don't come here for boredom. I like to talk to smart and interesting people. The OP was very interesting to me. She's probably gone now, thanks to the boring person. Hey, I just call shit as I see it.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Perhaps you've had bad encounters with redeyemindtricks in the past, but to be fair, that was her opinion on the topic. While I can't stand people that judge without knowing the facts she seems to know the facts enough to form an educated opinion on this topic, at least just from a glance. Can't be said of a lot of people here. Yes she is very obviously not a fan of cucks lol but that's ok. It's not for everyone. It doesn't seem she has any issue with my lifestyle but you're right if she did then it would be her own issue as it has nothing to do with her. True for anyone that looks down at my choices, as a matter of fact. People will form their own conclusions and opinions, can't worry about it, it won't change anything. That's just life. But thank you anyways.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Anyway, on to your questions... 1 yes, a queen of spades is the most known queen as most cuck relationships are based off humiliation and stereotypically black men are larger than white men so naturally that's the correct fit for a bull in a cuck relationship. As for the queen of clubs, yes most guys would love this from their woman. That's one of the top male fantasies if not the top one. You have to remember, though, a stag is about what gets his vixen/hotwife off. Most guys find this appealing because it's what HE wants and it will get HIM off and it's less to do with what will get HER off. I do not have links, as I've never gone in search of large amounts of information. Just things I've learned along the way. You probably could find some things on Pinterest. Just don't pin anything. God forbid you'll get kicked off, trust me. You'd be surprised what you can find there. Type Hotwife and you're on your way. Even google, your best bet is most likely going to be hotwifing. 2 Wel
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  2 Well, this varies among men, at least the ones I've been with. Several didn't mind clean up after cumming in me. It's their cum. And I mean alpha guys have done it and not balked a bit. But I think it's a different story when it's another mans cum. That is kind of humiliating, in my opinion. Another man not only had sex with your girl, but came inside her, but that's not all, now you're going to lick it all up. (Now this is my opinion I can't say for sure as I'm not a man and I haven't been in this situation from that perspective.) Now, for my boyfriend specifically, he would hate every second of it but if I told him it would make me cum like a porn star he'd do it in a second.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  3 Hotwives are free to engage is sexual behavior outside of their relationship. The Queen is just the type of encounters/relationships they're interested in. A queen of hearts, the way I understand it, is into one night stand type encounters. Simply sex. Perhaps there would be an encore but it's not something thats going to stick.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  4 A queen of diamonds does have longer lasting relationships sometimes even in the loving, caring, romantic way. I can absolutely see you're point, and it's a valid point. This is where it's most important to have a strong primary relationship. Things have the potential to get even messier in this set up. Here's the thing though, again, you have to look at this as "what's going to get HER off hardest, fastest and several times" This queen isn't looking for love or to fall in love with the other guy. Her heart belongs to the stag but anything else is up for grabs. There are some women that need a connection to enjoy sex. Right? This is that type of Queen. Her stag trusts her implicitly, he has to or this type of relationship couldn't ever work. He knows that even though she has a connection with someone else it's not going to go so far as to damage or ruin the primary relationship.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  5 Haha oh my god, absolutely. I can only speak to how my boyfriend reacts but yes he gets a great deal of pleasure out of this. Sometimes I'd swear he enjoys it more than I do. My pleasure is his ultimate turn on and what gets him off hardest. 100%!
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  Thanks a lot. That answers a lot of things for me. Thanks, Chico.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Of course, Im glad I could answer your questions. 😊
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  Well, don't take all the credit, silly. Make sure to share it with the other two selves. lol This site is so much fun! lol Thanks.
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  Do you want to know how you screwed the pooch from the get-go? lol Seriously. Do you want to know?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 I have no idea what you're talking about. So sure go ahead and tell me what you think.
- martinmagic401
  +1 y
  Why in the hell would you talk about Stag/Vixen? lol There's only four people on this site that no what it is. Me, Chico, Redneck, and pink anon. lol I was laughing my ass off. And do you know what the 5 of clubs, means? It means they like to wash their car naked. lol But your biggest mistake was bringing redneck. Why did she/you appear? lol It made no sense. So I said that Redneck was boring, and as I predicted, that drew Chico out. lol Chico defended Redneck for being less than smart. Chico said how brilliant she/you were. Then I needed to go grab another beer. lol You really need to up your game, if you're going to beat another player. You're not bad, but don't quit your day job. :)
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @martinmagic401 Yea, no you're mistaken but cool story bro. Can you tell it again? Do we have time?
Anonymous
+1 y
What a crummy way to treat a woman who has come in and helped you fulfill a fantasy.

This is why I hate FMF threesomes. As the unicorn who always gets asked to join, I get treated like a hired hand, MY sexual pleasure is likely to be ignored, and then I get kicked to the curb.

If you are not prepared to care for that second woman, you are not prepared for threesomes.
3 1 1 0
- PrettyKitty31
  +1 y
  I agree with this. There's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with treating a woman as a play thing if that's the arrangement you've come to prior to the threesom but you can't completely neglect her needs either. She's giving you what you want and so it's only fair you make sure she enjoys it as well.
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  We talked about the threesome for a while. We told the girl how we wanted it. It was a dynamic in which we both dominated the younger girl to be of a fuck doll sort of. As if she's our toy for the night. We discussed this with the girl prior and she wanted to participate because she thought the idea was hot. We als said it was most likely a one-time thing. Not sure why all the moral police are coming out right guy now when both parties left satisfied.
- PrettyKitty31
  +1 y
  If that's directed at me I assure you I'm not acting as the moral police. In fact, they don't seem to care for me either. Last one to judge, right here.
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- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  No that was towards the opinion owner.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  If you are not prepared to care for that second woman, you are not prepared for threesomes.
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  She didn't want us to "care" about her. That wasn't the plan. Did you even read what I said?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Yeah, but sex doesn't work that way. I understand you don't want to have an ongoing relationship with her, but you're throwing her away like trash, and that's a pretty crappy way to treat someone.
- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  I said that from the start though. Se. Does work like that and I've had plenty of it like that: I never manipulated the girl and I would never lead her on. I'd tell her straight up that all I wanted sex and she agreed.
- Cricket74
  +1 y
  Well, agreed. But in this case the third party won't stop calling. So, other hand, agreed all should have fun. So how to go about that?
- DogEatsCat1973
  +1 y
  You just got the wrong guy because when I fantasize about this, I want to lick one while the other is on my lower half, and after I get the one on my face off I want them to switch, when I finish I want to be tasting the other, and then do a second round on the other so I finish in both and nobody got something someone else didn't.
Elarra Editor
+1 y
Sorry about your girlfriend's miscarriage... I know you were really excited about being a father.

But I'd like to know who the person is. I'd only have a threesome if there were two guys and me. I'd never do it with another girl. But I don't trust men enough to keep themselves clean so I'd have to know you before we reached that level.
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- Chico_brah
  +1 y
  Yeah it was unfortunate but we've moved forward. Thank you though.

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What Girls & Guys Said

14 12

RJGraveyTrain Editor
+1 y
I mean it's not my cup of tea but as long as you know that stranger is CLEAN, I'd prefer that. Previous relationships of any kind can create an awkward or clingy dynamic, I'd assume.
0 2 0 0
askmepleaseme Xper 4
+1 y
Sex feels better to me in general with people I actually know and have any connection with.
0 1 0 0
katiesmuff Master
+1 y
It's much more erotic and suspenseful when it was with guys I didn't know before fucking them.
0 2 0 1
- amber12A
  +1 y
  I second this
SarahsSummer Master
+1 y
Really sorry about your misscarriage. 💟 I think if it was another guy, I'd want to know him but if another girl I'd prefer her to be anonymous to us both.
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naomi10wylde Xper 6
+1 y
I prefer someone I know but it's important to set clear boundaries. If you're afraid of things getting complicated definitely stick to people you don't know well.
0 2 0 0
DodgersGM Master
+1 y
If threesomes are meant to to be carnal and completely non-emotional, then going with a stranger makes more sense.
0 0 0 0
Jemini_Crocket Guru
+1 y
I would rather have a threesome (especially if it's with two guys and me) with guys I don't really know. It's my fantasy, I wanna try it and that's it.
I wouldn't mind trying a threesome with my girl-friends though. That would be more of a fooling around for me.

If having a boyfriend/girlfriend, I wouldn't be trying to have a threesome. I believe it's not really good for your relationship because the risk of it influencing it is really high.
1 1 0 0
JustRollTheDice Guru
+1 y
Never tried the whole swinging thing but it'd probably have to be someone that I don't know (minimal emotions so that it doesn't get messy in any way)

And I'm truly sorry about the baby and I hope your girlfriends okay
0 3 0 0
Cricket74 Xper 6
+1 y
Meet, greet, meat. Yup perfect. It'd be a bit more awkward with a stranger but hey who cares?
0 0 0 0
DogEatsCat1973 Xper 6
+1 y
Someone I don't know because it is more of a thrill that someone you don't know wants to get sexual with you vs. someone you know that might do that from admiration of your mind. I love when a female I don't know has a strong desire to get sexual with me because that says I look fun to her since she has no idea what my psychology is like yet.
0 0 0 0
LostInnocence Xper 5
+1 y
Someone I just met
0 2 0 1
Lucky2 Xper 4
+1 y
Since I am a guy, if she was really hot I would say w/o knowing her. I am not a swinger, but I have had a mfm before.
0 0 0 0
Bleepasaurus_RexEwww Yoda
+1 y
Sorry to hear about it at hope you guys are doing okay. I'd never have a threesome in a relationship or with someone I know it's too messy.
1 2 0 0
Hispanic-Cool-Guy Master
+1 y
Not for me.
0 0 0 0
Teesabo Xper 2
+1 y
Stranger. At least that's how my first one went, and I saw her around occasionally but she had none of my information. So nothing ever came of it thankfully.
0 0 0 0
Malik00 Explorer
+1 y
i can't bring myself to have sex with someone i dont know
0 0 0 0
max_spy Explorer
+1 y
nope.
0 0 0 0
y_tho Xper 4
+1 y
Jesus man. I'm sorry about her miscarriage. :( I'd never have a threesome.
0 1 0 0
CT_CD Master
+1 y
Details?
0 0 0 0
Anonymous
+1 y
We prefer to find strangers. We don't want people to know about what we do.
0 0 0 0
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