She had lots ofal sex before me?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of 1 month and i went to a friends party. But before we went there she told me that she and this friend had casual sex (ons) in the past, it didn't bother me cause it was just 1 time and it can happen and doesn't say anything about her values. I told her zhat i didn't care if she had sex with one guy there, but suddenly she said that he might not be the only one.

I asked how many she had sex (i know all her exes and with most of them ,3 of 4, i am good friends, no jealousy , and so i knew that she talked about other casual flings). She told me 6. Now 1 could be a mistake, 2 alco could be but more than that was her decision to engage in it and therefore her values are different than mine cause i never do casual sex cause for me is sex and love belong together.

We still went there because i didn't wanted to ruin her night but now i wonder if i should even be in this relationship. Personally said, a casual attitude towards sex is my biggest dealbreaker.

Is breaking up and refusing to date woman who have such an attitude a legitimate reason?

If yes, how can i avoid these woman and find someone with my view?

[KnightCastor]

If you wish to not date someone who has had multiple sex partners in the past and supports casual sex, that is your choice and decision. You have to feel and be comfortable with all aspects of the person that you're dating. It would be better for the both of you to find people that you're comfortable with and who share the same views on this matter.

There are all types of women out of there. Each and every one of them view and value sex differently and will hold different views on sex. You just have to keep looking.

[Asker]

Great to hear, thanks. But do you know if their are any indicators that someone dont do casual? Lots of woman dont want it if someone ask this private questions to early on or they will just lie about it and i dont want to waste my time with finding it out.

[KnightCastor]

A good way to get the answers you're looking for is just ask a girl your potentially interested in: "What are your views on sex and relationships?" It will definitely start a conversation. It's not really a creepy question, or something that should scare her away and it should tell you everything you need to know.

[KnightCastor]

I mean.. don't ask IMMEDIATELY, but after you guys have started a little bit, you can ask her that.

[Asker]

Thats a nice idea. But what if they talk about their current attitudes? If i ask a woman on a date this question she might think i would try to find out if dhe has sex easy and try to get her into my bed. If i would say my values firstly then she might say similar values to me so that she has a chance with me if she likes me.

[KnightCastor]

Most women wouldn't be offended by that question. At least I wouldn't be. It's a question that she's curious about and wants to know about as well. "Is he expecting sex on the first or second date?" "Is he taking me home with him?" and all those things. Having the "sex" conversation eases tension, pressure and harsh expectations. You can say your values to ease into the conversation and then ask her about her values. It just a simple conversation over a date and shouldn't be too serious or intimidating!

[Asker]

What if she lies to look better because its widely known that guys snd girls judge others for sexual things? What if her current values are against casual sex because she wants a rdlationship at the moment and therefore she wouldn't say anything that could be seen as an indicator for her past?

[KnightCastor]

I honestly have no idea. People definitely lie about their pasts. However, I'm not quite sure how you would deal with that. You would eventually find out her past however and will deal with it then. If she did lie about her past, you would eventually find out from her friends, family, social media, etc. You can address that issue then.

[y_tho]

It's okay to leave her because of that. Just tell her straight.

[eatimchenko]

ofal?

[Asker]

God dammit, how did it happen. I wrote casual sex in the question title.

[Anonymous]

The one I like has 13 exes and had sex 11 times..

[Asker]

13 exes? Thats a lot of relationships. How old is he? That many failed relationships can be a very big red flag, it shows a very big commitment issue. How do you cope with it?

[Opinion Owner]

He just turned 16

[Asker]

Then there is sth wrong with him, something very wrong with him.

[Opinion Owner]

Yea there's actually many things wrong with him. He's on drugs etc

[Asker]

Then dont like him.

[Opinion Owner]

He's always having sex like everyday, but he said he would stop all these things bc of me. (He has a rough life)

[Asker]

He won't. Dont try to change him, dont hope him to change, they rarely do. This is the most common mistake woman fo, being together with a broken person because they think they are special to him and try to save him. But you know how it always ends? The gitls is crying because the guy treated her like shit.

[Opinion Owner]

You were right. He treat me like trash. by the way I'm @the_researcher