Girls are there things you pretend to like doing sexually with guys to make them happy?

[Jack489109]

Girls are there things that you pretend to like doing with guys you are dating just to make them happy? What and why? If you got married would you stop e. g. I didn't find out until after we were married that my wife actually hates giving oral sex. Guys can answer this too if there are things you pretend to like to please a girl.

[Bleh-___-]

I'm not sexually active but I would do something I didn't like to please my husband (unless it would harm me or be straight up disgusting). I would want him to feel as good as possible and if he's happy I'm happy. I'm a really open person though so I would probably not hide the fact that I don't like whatever from him.

[Jack489109]

lol something tells me you've never been married before. In terms of not hiding it though I can't speak for other men but I can't get turned on knowing the girl is hating something. Seeing her in immense pleasure is sort of what gets me going.

[Bleh-___-]

Haha your gut feeling would be correct. I mean I'm sure everyone has something they don't love doing but it's about compromise in my opinion. If I really love the guy I genuinely wouldn't mind doing something I'm not a huge fan of for him

[Jack489109]

lol and if he genuinely loves you he wouldn't want you to. But I guess there's a difference between being not a huge fan of and hating something. I'm not a huge fan of missionary position and would probably skip it most of the time and go right to doggy if it were up to me. She HATES blowjobs.

[Wonderer89]

Interested to see what others say 😊

Personally no, our sexual needs are very similar so there is nothing I've ever turned down or found distasteful

[Jack489109]

Your needs might be similar but theoretically you might not like doing the things the other ones need lol. My wife loves when I go down on her but hates blowjobs. I actually like doing it so no biggy. I've met a lot of people who say it's the opposite though where the girl likes doing it but the guy never reciprocates lol.

[Wonderer89]

Theoretically, yes but as I've stated for us that's not the case - it's a subject that's been discussed many times and at great length over the years because it's a significant part of our marriage and intimacy

[Jack489109]

How long have you been married if you don't mind me asking. Do you guys have kids? I ask because based in my own personal experiences those things greatly affect your sex life.

[Wonderer89]

Married for 5, together for 9. Unfortunately we haven't been blessed with children

[Jack489109]

Aww sorry to hear that. You've actually been together longer than we have. The fact that you don't have children might be the reason you have a really good sex life. I have a two and four year old with another on the way. Trying to find a time available to have sex WHILE she's also actually to tired out to be in the mood for it is challenging.

[Wonderer89]

Perhaps, perhaps not. Everyone handles extra differently, and us not having time, energy or the inclination has occurred many times but still not affected our sex lives - even to the point it's scheduled in if we have to. Kids might change that, it might not but so far we've had the type of relationship where we can talk about it if it's starting to slide and work back up

[Jack489109]

lol I'm so jealous. We have difficulties talking about anything. Some of it isn't even time. She's said before that just just doesn't feel sexual after dealing with kids all day (she works on a daycare center too). Or she's upset at me for being gone at work too much and not there to help out with the kids or with something in the house. (I'm in the military and am working on my Masters in my spare time so I can get promoted.

[Jack489109]

Like I don't think she understands that I do this stuff for us so that we can maintain and increase our quality of life. She only sees the things that I don't do that she does.

[Wonderer89]

Have you ever read anything about love languages? It sounds like the two of you don't speak the same one... like she feels loved when you carve out time for her and make her a priority - but you GIVE love by working towards bigger and better things for your family because you want them to have the best. So you're putting things out there FOR her but she doesn't understand as it's not a language she speaks. And there is nothing wrong with that, it's just understanding how the other gives and receives love so we can understand where their primary effort is directed but also to put some more effort into what they'll understand. Like could you schedule in some time just to spend with/on her twice a week - mark it on a calendar and just do something she wants? In return could she do the same for you, so you're both expending effort and receiving something in return - even if it's not at the same time.

[Wonderer89]

Communication is hard, even opening that is a win
www.romper.com/.../we-scheduled-sex-for-a-month-these-were-the-results-3229

[Jack489109]

I'll respond to this on more detail when I get to work but I'm generally the one complaining about her not spending enough time with me alone. She complains about feeling overworked and me not helping with stuff.

[Jack489109]

Just read the article. Thanks I'm actually going to send that to my wife. Problem is she never keeps any sort of schedule and lets the kids stay up later than I do. She doesn't want them to wake up early and wake her up before 0830 (I get up at 0530). Additionally to make matters worse our four year old had been sleeping in our bed for like the last month. Even if he goes to sleep in the middle of the night he still comes in in the middle of the night.

[Jack489109]

So she started just letting him i to sleep there in between us so that she's not woken up in the middle of the night. I've tried arguing but having gotten anywhere.

[Wonderer89]

That would drive me completely insane, I'm an organised chaos kind of person. I'm generally rushing and a little late, but everything on the list gets done. It sounds like it's not just about a sex discrepancy between you but different opinions on a fair few things. We're all different but in marriage we need to find a common ground to make it work without resentment and unhappiness building and that comes down to communication and negotiation. You both put what you need on the table and barter each other to get and give. So many people hate the clinical approach like that, it's not romantic or gushy but it works for me. Hopefully you can find some common ground with her

[Jack489109]

Have to communicate better first. She is just so stressed out and exhausted all the time and not happy at her job. It's only going to be worse with three kids once our third son is born. I think at this point we need a live in nanny to move in with us and help her. Maybe my mother at some point lol.

[Wonderer89]

Lol careful if you go with your mother, if things are already a bit strained having an emotionally invested third party may make it worse. I'd go bat shit crazy if either of our mums moved in 🙈 The extra stress of a third will make things harder, but it may also be a good chance to try something new. Start as you mean to go on from the time baby comes home

[Jack489109]

Lol my mother drives both of us crazy as it is but at this point anything to take the stress off her and make her happy again if deal with. My Mother isn't practical any ways. If she moved in with us it would mean something happened to my stepdad which I don't want to think about.

[Wonderer89]

It may not alleviate her stress though, as well meaning as it is. Just add to it. Moot point anyway 😊

[Wonderer89]

Thanks for MHO 😊

[Jack489109]

😇🙂🙂

[shreya_shiry]

no I don't pretend. I love anything my partner wants to do while having sex

[LionBill]

good question, Im interested to see results.

perhaps a blow job is something since I can't see what they get out of it

[MdstMuse]

I like exploring with my partner even if its something I am not particularly in to.

[Jack489109]

Lol well I think guys in general are more willing to do like anything. The only thing for me is probably like certain positions I'm not crazy about. Like if it were up to me I'd probably skip missionary and go right to doggy style most of the time.

[nala_rawr]

i enjoy everything i do. call me selfish lol

[Smita]

No. I prefer to be myself and do not do anything I am not comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

nope i am not active