Sending naked pictures: do you really think it is a good idea?

[OlderAndWiser]

I am 62 years old and I have never sent or received a nude picture from a lady. When I was a young man, a girl who did this would be considered a slut and a guy who did it would be called a pervert. We also did not have digital photography so it was difficult to get nude photos developed and printed.

Maybe you think this is a wonderful;y modern advancement. You are giving your partner an idea of what is waiting for them, getting them aroused, making them want you more. . . right? Maybe that happens, but there are other ways to get your partner's attention. Have you ever heard of the art of seduction?

Anyway. . . what happens to those pictures? They get saved, of course. The partner who you think is so damned wonderful may be showing those pictures to his or her siblings and friends, bragging in an immature way, or maybe even trading naked girlfriend pictures as if they are baseball trading cards. Yes, your new boyfriend's little brother may be jerking off while looking at that naked picture of you in the doggy position.

Even if your partner is not doing those things now. . . have you considered the possibility that you won't marry this guy or girl and, one day, they will be an ex, may even be a bitter ex. They may want to use your naked pictures for revenge or may just use your naked pictures for trading on porn sites. How do you feel about your grandparents, parents, little brother or sister, cousins, or neighbors seeing you naked?

If you think this can't happen. . . I currently have a paternity case client whose ex-bf has done this to her. She has pictures being traded on craigslist and a video posted on a porn site. My client - a young lady - finally realized that this can happen, but only AFTER it happened: too late!!!

Will you make the same mistake? Have you already made this mistake? Post anonymously if you prefer but please be honest!

[BrittBratt2416]

No it's dumbest idea ever, not only are you giving men porn pic material, he can take those pictures and use it as blackmail or put it up on porn sites. Women's lives and reputation have been ruined by making a dumb decision to send nudes. It has left such negative impact, that it destroys mental health to the point some women even comment suicide. Look what happened to Amanda Todd, she was young but naive girl who thought flashing her breasts were a good idea, after that it was instance chaos for that poor girl to the end of her life. Just don't do it. Period, even if its someone you trust cause you never know what can happen if those pictures some get seen by the public. So if a man wants to see you naked, then he better get his ass up off the couch and come see it for himself, other wise it not happening. At least not with me.

[BrittBratt2416]

Also if you send a nude, that person reaction might not be exactly what you think it will be. They might not like what they are seeing in the photo and end up showing their friends and making fun of you for it. The next thing you know, you start hearing people talk about the very picture you sent out.. people start judging you or mocking you for it. Just not worth it.

[Anonymous]

I have taken nude photos before and received them from a guy back in High School. We were not in a long term relationship then and were just messing around, so I do regret this because I wanted to get serious with him but we ended up having to break things off. (Now he wants me back again just to have sex with me!) I never included 100% of my face in these photos, so if he were to send them around I could always deny. I did send him sexy cleavage pictures with my face in them though (But wasn't naked so it's fine). Again, these were mistakes I have made in the past and I've learned to not do it with anyone but a husband or a guy I'm serious about. It's OKAY to send pictures to someone because it's fun! But only if they are a serious partner you are considering to marry and they keep them in a safe spot.

[peachblossomluck]

So many guys I have met just automatically send me those pics before I even get a chance to tell them not to. I hate it! It's a dealbreaker even if it's a really nice one. It's just a really unseemly thing to do. I don't want to be with a guy who just sends those out like business cards or something. I show them to my friends and make fun of the guy. I send them to other guys too to prank them and upset them if they harass me. If the guy keeps bothering me, I give his number out and have other people cluster f him random d picks too since so many guys like to send them. People, stop sending these pics to strangers please👍

[RJGraveyTrain]

I've taken only underwear shots and topless shots for my man, but it was after we were in a relationship. To be honest, it was more for myself than him. I was very shy about sex and was trying to find my inner... sexiness... that I honestly thought I never had. I did it to break the sexual ice sort of speak, almost to liberate myself of the fact that no one had seen me like that.

I enjoyed it personally.

[Matt21]

that's very respectable! My girlfriend and I took a shower to break the ice and I kept my eyes shut the whole time. then the next time we showered together she was happy to tell me to open my eyes since I had gained her trust by not peeking the first time.

[Blonde401]

The thing is nudes did exist a long time ago... the Victorian era, Edwardian era and so on. It's just less noticeable because it was a ball ache to actually get some photos taken and made etc. But nudes have existed for as long as cameras have.

[OlderAndWiser]

Of course. Reportedly, Charles Darwin had a thing for photographing naked little girls "in the name of science." However, I have never heard of people casually exchanging nude pictures as part of their courtship routine during the Victorian era. obviously, that is the focus with this poll.

[Blonde401]

I'm pretty sure women took nudes of themselves to send to their sweethearts who went to war and stuff... I'm sure I've read about that. Sort of similar.

[Blonde401]

Nudes were a huge think to the victorians. They loved it. Queen Vic didn't but the general public did.

[stormyclouds]

Actually, the Victorians were quite kinky so yes women did send a lot of nudes. That why there was such a crack down on immoral behavior in that age. "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" is a perfect example of these two worlds colliding.

[Blonde401]

@stormyclouds there was hardly a crack down. Was the 'actually' aimed at me or @olderandwiser?

[stormyclouds]

Lol, I was agreeing with you @Blonde401 and supporting your opinion. And no the short story was a representation of the crack down. Most of Victorian lit mentions it in someway because "immoral conduct" was so frequent. Censorship ran rampant in literature so short stories like that one alluded to it through fantastical writing. But, if you research Victorians, there was a strong crack down on behavior, especially women's behavior. It's really fascinating and one of my favorite topics.

[OlderAndWiser]

@stormyclouds How is it that sending nude pictures was common in that era? Didn't photography mean a visit to the photographer's parlor? Of course, I have seen some "vintage porn" pictures from that era but I would have guessed that Victorian women would have died before they removed their clothes for a stranger. Did this happen in the US also or was it more of a UK phenomenon?

[Blonde401]

It was common and ha no. Women weren't as prudish as people would have you believe. They were very sexually liberated. Lots of them had tattoos too! Not that you'd know because obviously, they always covered their arms. In public you were seen as being well behaved but in private you pretty much were liberated. Churchill's mother had nipple rings... for instance. Most women did - because it made your boobs higher when you chained them to your corset. She also had a snake tattoo on her wrist. Again, these things aren't considered normal for victorians but that's because the generations that came after them basically made out that they were very prim and proper. I can't speak for the USA women of that period as I'm not knowledgable.

[Blonde401]

@stormyclouds ah thank you. I didn't really notice a crack down. Only with things like Queen Victoria wanting the statue of David's penis covered up... I think the general public were very far from being cracked down.

[OlderAndWiser]

So Victorian English ladies had no problem with going to the photographic parlor and removing their knickers for the photographer? I have learned something new!

[Blonde401]

You do realise porn was basically invented in the Victorian era?

[stormyclouds]

Not just sending nudes, sex in general. And it was a UK thing mainly. US was still feeling a bit puritan at the time. Check it out, interesting history. A lot of the beloved classics from that era had some pretty freaky authors if you know what I mean but they were censored. Just like some photography that would claim it was for science. It was a strange age then, people became obsessed with science and cameras (they literally took pictures of everything) so the the nude figure became one of the most controversial issues in Victorian art, from elite paintings to mass-produced photographs and magazine illustrations. If you had the money for a camera, most families would get one. Not every method of taking a photo was as cumbersome as you think. And again, there was a large divide between the modest and not so modest. Women really started to feel empowered and free during that era, which again is why so many laws really cracked down on women sexuality.

[stormyclouds]

No prob, but yes there was. Literature and art was censored, prostitutes were horribly mistreated and raped legally (and women accused of being prostitutes), land laws were tightened, etc. There was a legal fear of women becoming too powerful because the new technology was adding a helping hand to the women's movement that was picking up speed. I give credit to Queen Victoria who had to rule during this time period. I'm sure men tried to undermine her every move. It's funny how so many men in history tried to white wash the history of women so that they appear more angelic. It's sad that the propaganda of it all still lasts to this day.

[Blonde401]

@stormyclouds yeah I'm well aware of those things. And yeah of course it's all about taking power from women! 😤 Like always in history. I love Queen vic, she's one of my absolutely favourite monarchs!

[stormyclouds]

And sorry to keep commenting but thinking about it I wanted to add that the US was a little preoccupied at that time due to the Civil War and the destruction of the South. They mostly took war pics but maybe some other pics like @Blonde had mentioned for the soldiers. They also were dealing with an economic change.

[AndrewMG]

@stormyclouds

[AndrewMG]

@Blonde401 I did A level history and as female queens went it was predominantly Elizabeth 1, and whilst medieval or tudor queens were mentioned for some reason Victoria, despite her legacy and longevity, was never mentioned, so I have had to self study her, what I have found is how she was very much more a free spirit than Prince Albert and more open to "non Victorian Stereotypes" than we are lead to believe.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yes, nudes have always existed, but none in the context of sexting or people sharing/sending them like you do today. Sure, they didn't have the technology then but still not as frequent as it is today.

[stormyclouds]

@bloodmountain1990 @Blonde401 @AndrewMG Is it safe to say that we're all a bunch of nerds XD I kinda love the fact that we just did a history of nudes in comparison to today's nudes. So odd yet so fascinating.

[Blonde401]

@AndrewMG she was amazing. It's a shame they don't teach more about her.

[Blonde401]

@bloodmountain1990 of course it wasn't as frequent. They didn't have the instant messaging like we do!

[Blonde401]

Thanks for MHO :)

[bloodmountain1990]

I've never sent a nude but had girls send them to me without asking me if I want them. If a girl wants to see me naked so bad, she'll see it in person.

The girls who did send them to me early on was a giant red flag to me. They're most likely sending them to other strangers or they have self esteem issues and think that's what they have to resort to, to get guys to like them which does the exact opposite.

Besides if you send nudes, that other person will have them forever, if they choose to. So generally that's not a good idea.

[OlderAndWiser]

You get it!

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah and before anyone accuses me of slut shaming, it goes both ways. Both guys and girls sending nudes to someone they don't know/barely know is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Good advice. It's also your eventual children, future SO, and prospective employers who might see it. Companies often Google candidates to see what they've done online as part of the vetting process. And realize also that image searches will continue to get better. Just because your online nudes don't come up today doesn't mean they won't in the near future as the technology continues to improve.

[OlderAndWiser]

Good perspective!

[zagor]

If the employer is impressed with your nude it might help your chances.

[OlderAndWiser]

@zagor I don't know anyone who ever got a job because they had a nude picture posted online; do you?

[zagor]

No, but I suspect there are jobs out there for which it would help...

[OlderAndWiser]

@zagor Such as. . ?

[zagor]

Stripper, escort, receptionist for a sleazeball.

[OlderAndWiser]

@zagor If anyone hiring for those "jobs" wants to see you naked, all they need to do is to ask. They don't need to rely on looking at a picture online.

[Cavewoman]

No, I have never taken nude pictures of myself and never in this life would I do that with any part of my body! This is one of the most stupid things to do.
But I know of someone who ever took videos of him and his mistress having sex and then he showed them to his sworn brothers to brag about his sexual performance.

[Cavewoman]

@Yes, of course, you can take the picture so that it does not reveal your face, but that doesn't prevent Mr. Wonderful from showing the picture to his friends and telling them that it's Amber's boobs and buns (or whatever!) Precisely!

[ImHere4You]

I've talked to a lot of younger people who have no problem sending nudes to impress others. Sometimes they say, it's just my boyfriend or girlfriend. I tell them exactly what you told us, not all relationships last forever but pictures do.

As you said they can use them as revenge. Anything I type here will be what you told us. I'm 36 and back when I was younger there were less ways to send and receive pictures. As that is the same for you. Unfortunately it will never end. People won't listen, especially the young ones. They say it will never happen to me.

Same with texting and driving, they think, I'm a good driver I won't crash. Or unprotected sex. I won't get pregnant, it's just one time. Some things will just never end even with warnings like these. We can't make everyone stop but everyone we help counts. Whether they do it is their choice and sometimes the consequences aren't good. That's something they will learn but unfortunately learn too late. This is a great post.

[Fancygoldfish]

I will never send out a nude. I would lose my teaching license. Stuff happens. And things go viral. Guys get VERY pushy about it. They want nudes!! But I won't do it, even if it means they move on.

[OlderAndWiser]

If that is the kind of guy they are, you don't want them, and they have saved you some time by showing themselves for what they are.

[stormyclouds]

How would you lose your license? It's legal if you're of age.

[Fancygoldfish]

Teachers have to maintain a standard of conduct that would exclude explicit public sexual activities. We're working with children.

[stormyclouds]

No, I thought you were working with dragons >.> Uh, wow, good to know about teachers. Now I really feel bad that they don't get the respect they deserve!

[stormyclouds]

Sending it wouldn't make you lose your license because it's in private. So, like if you send it to your husband (idk if you have one, just a scenario) would be fine. But if it was posted, then you would. Correct?

[OlderAndWiser]

@stormyclouds Yes, it is the public image that teachers (and many others) must maintain. What happens behind the closed doors of your home if your private business and a school board doesn't know about it. If the school board DOES know about it, then it has become public and they DO care.

[stormyclouds]

That was my thought. But I've noticed many districts have relaxed this policy. Nothing quite as a extreme as say nudes being released but I know a few teachers who have tats and one teacher who goes clubbing regularly in the summer (even had her pic taken in the newspaper for a new club) and they're all doing fine. Different world now, I guess.

[OlderAndWiser]

@stormyclouds Some institutions change slowly. Railroads and school systems are a few of the particularly slow ones.

[stormyclouds]

Interesting but I would say both have had the most advancements and change in the last few decades.

[OlderAndWiser]

@stormyclouds Strip away the technology and the practices are remarkably similar to how things were done 100 years ago.

[stormyclouds]

Oh no, not really. The practices are what changed the most. Teachers do not teach how they did. Teachers back then taught to the students as a whole, now teachers teach to the individual student. There are several hundred, even more, studies dedicated to how students learn and teachers teach. They are being implemented into schools as well. Classrooms do not look like they did when you were in school. I'm sure @Fancygoldfish could explain better than I could.

[whereaboutsunkown]

I have sent and received naked pics while being in a very committed long distance relationship. Nothing bad ever happened but we knew the risk of embarrassment was there. However, you make accommodations were you need too, I guess.

[Genie23]

Very well said! These are the reasons I've never taken nude pictures of myself... and also I'm not interested in sending or receiving nudes, lol

[BillieJean1070]

Trust me, no one will see these... he said before they were plastered all over the internet. I stand with you!

[Genie23]

@BillieJean1070 Exactly!! You never know... some exes are so bitter that they will do anything to hurt her, they'll destroy her image completely out of revenge. That's why it's better to be safe than sorry. Shouldn't trust easily

[OlderAndWiser]

And there are so many ways to get a partner aroused without first taking off your clothes!

[Genie23]

I agree!

[musicbrain5]

Honestly, it's an absolutely terrible idea for all the reasons you stated, and there's probably a zillion more reasons why it's not smart. I've never taken a nude picture of myself, or pictures where I'm scantily clad or doing something suggestive. The cons outweigh the pros for me, especially since I'm also a teacher. I definitely don't need my students or their parents finding my pics online, etc.

[SarahsSummer]

Bad idea always.

[Goodwifie]

My hubby gets sent them from time to time, from me that is.

[OlderAndWiser]

That's because you are a good wife! :)

[Goodwifie]

Mainly nice lingerie photos.

[OlderAndWiser]

I am changing your username to Hotwife! :)

[Goodwifie]

He gets them when I feel like he needs reminding that I am not just the mother of his three children.

[OlderAndWiser]

Keeping a marriage going strong requires effort by both parties. You can't take each other for granted. Good job! :)

[CheerGirl38139]

Worst.
Idea.
Ever.

There are about 62.7 million reasons why.

[Outofthegrey]

I've taken a few and posted them online, I've just had the foresight to never include my face in a photo. So long as that's the case I think it's fine.

[BCRanger10]

Two words: Revenge porn.

That aside, even if I weren't religious, I would never send one. If I were to receive one, I would immediately delete it and tell her to have some dignity and respect for herself.

[wittymilf]

Nudity is hardly even special these days based on the regularity of nude sharing. I do f think people really care that much anymore.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I think it's a stupid thing to do. Even if I would have the pornstar's body, I wouldn't be happy to see and know about people seeing my naked body pics.

[ATuairiscean]

I voted "E" - Received but never shown them to anybody - I was only thinking about this scenario earlier today for young parents maybe even future parents where something seemingly very innocent happens which maybe embarrassing in years to come - There was a take about double standards I read earlier and while I have no problems with naked pictures as long as society views them a certain way it will be an issue - Say we played with your scenario a little bit and introduced a few factors, a single mother becomes involved in the adult industry as a way to support her children, how sure is she of a fair portrayal in society once it is established she does "that" without first checking the whys.

[JoyGirl]

Sending nudes is not a good idea. There are so many reasons why.

[Emmdk]

Have both received and sent. Only to one person and nothing bad will ever happen there.

[OlderAndWiser]

No one has ever sent naked pictures to the opposite sex thinking that something bad would happen. EVERYONE thinks 'this guy is okay. He wouldn't ever do anything like that." That means you are just like all the other girls who thought that nothing bad would ever happen. You may be right; maybe nothing bad will ever happen. If you are wrong, you will learn when it is too late to do anything about it.

[Emmdk]

Okay first of all you don't know me. Second of all, I've known him for a long time and dated him for three years. And I've seen how he treats his exes and he's been nothing but kind to them.

[OlderAndWiser]

You may be right.

[Emmdk]

Not everyone are douche bags

[FinalFantasyBro]

I don't usually take pictures of myself especially fucking nude pictures. I don't want to showcase my naked body to a bunch of strangers worst being nude on the internet. What happened if somebody hack and link those photos?

[genericname85]

i mean at the point where you have sex anyway, i see nothing wrong with it. before that point, i think it's probably bad. though i did that before xD

[Unit1]

I have never done this and I do not plan to do it at all.

In my opinion those, who still do it deserve the consequences, that come with it.
Be more responsible damn it! It's not that hard.

[Libarena]

I've sent and received them.

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, but that doesn't answer the question: do you really think it is a good idea?

[Libarena]

I have no problem with it.