Is my boyfriend bisexual/gay for receiving anal from another man?

[GoldenRose95]

My boyfriend & I have been together for about 8 months & I really love him but there's a past experience that he's had that really bothers me. He's expressed & we've engaged in a huge fantasy of his to be pegged & we both loved it but one night we were lying in bed & the thought of him being with a man crossed my mind & out of curiosity I asked. After about 5 seconds of silence, he answered yes.
I had a suspicion that he might have engaged in some form of receptive anal before because he has a small growth on the outside of his anus which looked to me like an hpv wart but he quickly denied it being anything when I asked him. I started asking him questions & the answers I was getting seemed like he was bs'ing me.
He said it happened "once or twice" & that he was the receptive partner each time. He claimed it happened after he got divorced from his first wife & he thought no other woman wanted him. I curiously asked if he gave the guy oral & he done another 5 sec pause & said no. I sensed he was becoming less open & began lying because of my reaction. I didn't mean for him to feel attacked, I was just stunned because everything seemed to make sense now.
He hides his phone, I've seen him checking out men a few times, he becomes very upset & acts super macho every time a gay subject on TV or something is brought forward. I don't know what to think anymore. He says it was only a one time thing & that he didn't want to try it again. I just wish he'd tell me if that'd what he really likes so I don't have to constantly wonder anymore.
I guess it bothers me so much because I think there is a huge difference between having a fantasy, wanting the real thing & just feeling lonely. I know plenty of guys who wouldn't go receive anal from another guy because they think no one wants them. So my question is, could my boyfriend possibly be bi/gay or am I just bugging out about a past experience even though I have suspicions he's still very open to doing it again given the opportunity?

[DrJo3]

He is definitely bi and that is ok. The thing is, just because he has sought pleasure from men, does not mean he prefers to be in a relationship with them.

From what I've read and the bi people I've talked to (women and guys) bi people are sexually aroused/attracted to both sexes, but tend to prefer one sex over the other when it comes to being in relationship.

It sounds like you're worried not necessarily about him having sex with a guy, but moreso that you are not enough for your man because you can't provide what guys can and that he will leave you for a guy.

I'll tell you right now, he likes receiving anal, and you are pegging him. That is more than enough for him. He still gets the same sensation, the same orgasm, and he has a girl who loves him who is down to do it with him. He respects and appreciates that. And if he wanted to be in a relationship with a man, HE'D BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN, not in a relationship with you. This is a guilty pleasure for him. It's one of many things that get him off, it's not who he is as a person.

Just remember that this is a very sensitive topic for him. Try not be as judgemental/probing when asking questions. Let him know it is ok and that you'll love and accept regardless of his past or pleasures

That is what love is about. Not just liking the good things, but accepting people for all of who they are, even their flaws

[AndyOh]

I think you have a couple of things going on here.
Yes he is bi, whether he is actively pursuing that angle or not. He likes anal sex and you can provide that angle for him with pegging (which is cool).
However, my guess is that you probably over-reacted a bit with the questions and he probably shut down a bit with the answers, fearing this will turn into a deep probe (pardon the pun), and ruin things between you two.
If he is hiding his phone, gets all upset with gay subjects, etc., then he may be either hiding his desires, or does not know how to deal with them.
You can try and have a conversation with him and be as open as possible to anything he says or admits to.
But women tend to harbor and then release their anger and frustration, which causes us guys to withhold the truth - better left unsaid.
Good luck.

[GoldenRose95]

Thank you so much. This is the most eye opening & informative comment I've gotten so far.

[AndyOh]

You are welcome. I should say that I have been in your boyfriends 'shoes' to some degree. Definitely with the anal sex part, but also the questioning, be it about my past - present - or future. So I can feel what he is feeling, in some ways. Ask me anything, I am happy to help.

[AndyOh]

Thanks for the MHO... I hope things are better for you both.

[GoldenRose95]

No problem; & they are. Thank you so much.

[AndyOh]

Welcome and thanks for the MHO

[ImHere22]

Well he’s definitely not straight…
You can’t be heterosexual yet also allow another man to take you from behind…

[loveout]

doesn't necessarily make him gay or bi. i guess he was just experimenting. but i think it really depends on his opinion of those experiences. if he loved it and you don't trust him fully, then your suspicions are justified.

[godfatherfan]

NO straight guy will every have sex with another guy. Some twisted guys do it in prison but honestly I don't see how. The fact is that either he is bisexual or he is gay and still trying to deny it.

[Pickleeee]

Many straight men experiment with men, I’ve even seen people turn exclusively gay just for a certain person then when the relationship is over they go back to being “straight”. I've experimented with men, that’s how I know I loved being penetrated but not by men. It’s very different to have a mans pre-cum wet hard penis in your ass throbbing as he’s smacking your ass with his big hairy balls then to feel him cum inside you as he twitches than a woman caressing you whispering in your ear as she fucks you with a fake penis. The difference is the emasculation from the first one, and the fact that it feels like you’re being used by another man for his nut. I’m not gonna lie I’ve had some dick that made me forget how to walk for a few mins but afterwards it’s an emasculating feeling, also there’s no love there cuz many men don’t long for a loving relationship with a man it’s just anal stimulation. Hence, why many like pegging, which is not gay.

[madilynne]

He's most likely bysexual if He's doing that

[Xavixk]

Well he is definitely into guys, so whether he is bi or gay is hard to say... I guess only you can know that.

[MarcoIsAFailure]

Obvious answer would be yes.
But I would actually be open to receive anal.
But I am definitely not gay. The whole fantasy dies as soon as I realize there would be a man attached to that penis boning me.

For me, it would be about being "put in my place".
I do not feel very masculine and consider my dick to be small, that's why I fantasize about being used as a whore by some big-dicked alpha male.
Ideally a woman would order me to receive anal.

[GoldenRose95]

I think you have a "used cuckold" fantasy/fetish. I only know this because I've searched for every answer to my question about my boyfriend & have came across a lot of other things. Lol

[MarcoIsAFailure]

Yep, it's something like that. Cuckold does imply that my girlfriend would cheat on me tho. Which is a fantasy of mine too but it would not have to be connected necessarily.

[GoldenRose95]

I get what you're saying but does being open to receiving anal & just fantasizing about it different from actually going through with it several times?

[MarcoIsAFailure]

Its different yes. There are certainly some fantasies that I would certainly not enjoy lived out. But I think in that case I would go through with it if I were not too afraid to meet some stranger off the Internet. So it depends on both the Person and the fantasy. All I try to say it, it is possible. But anyhow, he just needs to be honest with you, which he dies not to be. The question of trust would be more important in your case. Whether he is bi or has a fetish or whatever, he needs to be honest about it.

[Intraluminal]

Yep, he's a fudge packer.

[AshrafWest]

No way to know unless by asking him get drunk and ask him, because he will be more open. Based on what you are saying I think he is bi , not gay as he is with you. Also, I think he is because of how he was hiding it while responding, a straight make takes it as. an insult to be called gay and would not take more than 0.00000001 seconds to reply

[skylimetoon]

why are there any words after the title. if he willingly had sex with a guy then yes. no questions asked

[ессаф]

whatever he love stay with u and have normal sex this mean he is bisexual, because if he gay he will never kiss you.

To solve this problem if he really don't want but he still like, u can finger him or strap on him.

this will stop his mind to think a bout men. Good luck

[normielover6969xD]

he's probably a woman stuck in a man's body. Get him tranny surgery

[Returnoftheswole]

"is my boyfriend bisexual/gay for receiving anal from another man?"

Lol wut?

[jakeofalltrades]

at the very least he is bi

[kcade]

bisexual

[racer8412]

As someone who is bi, I think the best way to find out is to just let him know that you accept him even if he is bisexual and then if he feels comfortable talking about it after that, he'll probably bring it up at his own pace

[Funboi]

No give me his number ĺol

[FridoRb]

Not necessarily. There are bi curious guys that want to know what it feels like. Even otherwise, plenty of straight men like to have sex with other men while still being straight (not closeted or gay)

or your boyfriend could be bi/pan as well. Ultimately it’s upto him to find out a label that suits his sexuality.