I sent nudes to someone else. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have always had a rocky relationship. I've did my best to treat him well, but got little effort in return. I would do hw he didn't want to do, buy his food when we went out, buy him well thought out gifts and letters on events , adjust my schedule to his, do things at his convince, give him my full attention, and always put his sexual pleasure above my own. But in return he never did things like that, wait for me to take lead on relationship, not help me plan out hangouts, never ask me out on dates like going to dinner.
The downside with me is my low self esteem and deal with my jealousy of other girls bc of my self esteem. A lot of times I would see him following porn stars and liking pics of girls with almost no cloths on despite knowing it made me self consious and that he had promised not to do it anymore. He had even made comments early on in our relationship that inferred he preferred girls that looked like this and that. But I didn't look that way. So with the treatment he gave me and the amount of self consiousness that I felt, I got desperate for attention that my boyfriend wasn't giving to me. I just wanted to be loved and wanted in the way I did to him. My bfs best friend always talked to me and jokingly ask for nudes but would be lowkey hoping I would send. So one day when I just felt so upset about my relationship, I sent my bfs best friend a nude of me in the shower. There was no sexting and was just me sending the nude, him complimenting it. That was the only time I was unloyal to him. That was a month ago and now after serious discussions, my boyfriend is now trying his hardest to return the effort I have given him and everything's been amazing. Except I broke his trust and I broke my loyalty to him. I didn't even like the best friend at all. I love my boyfriend so much, but I was stupid and let my emotions get the best of me. But in the end it was a mistake to ever do and he might break up the second I tell him even without knowing why. Do I tell him?

[Anonymous]

This makes me sad. Not too long ago I was in the same boat. My ex was a textbook fuckboy and it ruined me. I turned to social media for attention, posting sexy pics of myself. I got what I wanted, boys complimented me and showered me with the attention he couldn't give me. But I cared none for any of them, only him. I was pathetic and yet I still couldn't get him to give a damn.

I tried the classic seduce the friend and chatted and flirted and eventually sent him nudes (which had my face on it, I know I was so so so stupid). The only time my ex would chase me and started acting like a real boyfriend was whenever I left him. This cycle lasted for almost a year until realized I was exhausted and he never really cared for me from the get go. Eventually I moved on. I forgot about them, cut off all contact with them, moved out to a bigger city and pretended they never existed. I keep a low profile now. I'm barely on social media anymore. Of course the fear that my pictures would someday get leaked still haunts me. The best I could hope for was they would've deleted it and forgot about me.

[Anonymous]

The problems come if your boyfriend and this guy ever fall out with each other. If he has kept the pic, which I am sure he has, as he can put a name to it, and especially if your face is in it, he can use it as ammunition against both you and your boyfriend.

This means you should be up front and tell him. It would come better from you than from the friend in maybe a couple of years.

You might be able to salvage something from this, but not if your guy finds out in the future and from someone else.

[Asker]

Well it didn't have my face in it, and it was just through snapchat so i know he didn't save it. Besides the point, I told him and it was best that i was honest. Thanks for your input.

[Opinion Owner]

No probs. Be aware though, that Snap is not foolproof. It is possible to copy pics without the sender knowing.

[Opinion Owner]

Pleased it all worked out OK!

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend will be the same person as he was one day. People don't change. Don't feel guilty and don't tell him. YOU'll eventually break up with him and you should. Did he ever tell you why he used everything you did for him include using your body as his sex toy?

[Z-Spark]

his friend will tell him, guys tell their friend about hoes its just a matter of time, unlike girls most guys won't hide such things

[Opinion Owner]

@Z-Spark you will never know how much your ex girlfriems fridnd know about you, even your nipple color haha

[Z-Spark]

I really dont care what i care about is when iam interested in a girl all my friends will tell me everything they know about her, really there is nothing guys love than talking about girls and when we do we spill it all out

[Opinion Owner]

@Z-Spark so what. My point is girls are doing exact same gross thing. TAlking about every single thing they know about the guy their friends are seeing. just surprised you said "unlike girls" what do you expect for girls? LOL And what i wanted to say to the asker is whether his friend would tell him about the picture or not, she never has to care about it lol without him knowing the truth or not, their relationship will mever work, unless she wants to keep that asshole.

[Z-Spark]

he will know his friend will tell him the difference between guys and girls is that my friend will walk up to me and tell me " do not date this girl she is a hoe" or " the girl you are interested with had sex with this guy and that guy " Women talk a lot but when it comes to dating they are far behind guys, literally any stranger whom i got to know for few minutes will tell me anything he knows about a girl when i ask, girls? not so much only their best friends maybe.

[Opinion Owner]

@Z-Spark oh sounds like men are pigs thanks for letting me know and convince me to believe it

[Z-Spark]

men dont like to compete for the same girl but at the same time they will warn other men if a girl is bad investement

[Uncut]

What ever, your a pig

[Z-Spark]

@Uncut me?

[Uncut]

@Z-Spark No sorry. I was trying to comment about another's girls post. But couldn't delete it

[Mileyislucky]

Definitely. You can fix something broken, but you can't fix something shattered.

Everyone makes mistakes.

[Asker]

Yeah, I told him. He said he appreciates that I was honest instead of hiding it. Since i'm taking responsibility for it and am trying to make up for it, we are going to work things out. Thanks for your input.

[Z-Spark]

iam sorry but normal loyal girls do not flirt or send nudes to other guys while dating someone, it doesn't even matter how much of a little bitch your boyfriend was, just the fact that you even thought about sending nudes (and actually sent them) is enough proof that you can't be trusted when things get tough and heated, maybe he wasn't perfect but you were more worse as girlfriend, guys would mind if you yell, hit them, curse, throw stuff at them as guys we really won't care much but the moment you cheat with another guy you're gone for us we no longer want or need you.

I don't know what your boyfriend did after hearing it from you but i will tell about me, if my girlfriend ever thinks about doing that i will not even think twice about dumping her, the girl iam dating is allowed to be naked for one guy - ME -

[Asker]

Nah you don't have to apologize- you're just saying your opinion. And you're right it wasn't loyal and it was wrong to do. I disrespected my boyfriend and his trust. I couldn't put the whole detailed story on here because of text limit, but there were other reasons I did it. I have no excuse to say It was okay for me to do, but my boyfriend forgave me after hearing the whole story and I'm lucky and thankful enough that he's giving me a second chance to earn back his trust and work things out with him. Maybe I don't deserve a second chance but I'm completely willing to fix what i did wrong and prove that he can trust me again. Thanks for your input.

[Z-Spark]

you're taking this pretty well iam impressed, my opinion wasn't aimed just at you but in general, The way i view serious relationships is that you are only allowed to be intimate with only the person you're with, no one else should be seeing or touching the goods, if you let anyone do that then you're one of two things : 1- unfaithful and can't be trusted be loyal, or 2- immature and not fit for anything serious. in your situation you were immature not unfaithful, sure sending nudes is far from loyal since its basically cheating, but you sent it as revenge and grown up dont do revenge like that , first they break up, then find a better person to date if they're truly unhappy being with a certain person. every person is different but i can't imagine staying with a girl after she cheated with another guy, its just way too much to handle its a hit to my ego, honor and dignity, and those three things are extremely important for me.

[Laetitia94]

What a negative judgement about what she did. He makes her feel unloved and looks at other Girls online all the time but she is the person doing wrong? It is totally understandable she did this

[Z-Spark]

no its not ue looks at girls pics? wow big deal literally every girl i know has tons of actors and mdels on their fb and instagram. maybe their bfs should start sharing their dick pics with worls... she literally sent his best friend ue because she was emotionally unsatisfied wtf? how can any man teust such a woman for anything long term, if she is this weak then there is no way she will make a good wife... imagine in the future her husband is spending a lot of time at work to make a living for his family she starts saying she needs moe love amd fucks the vardener

[Z-Spark]

saying i dont feel good doesn't give you ghe righto share your body with someone else thas a bs reason to cover up the fact that your a hoe

[Z-Spark]

appp

[Laetitia94]

Well it was only one nude and he gave her attention. Her boyfriend didn't. It not good she did it button understandable given the fact her boyfriend gave her no attention, only girls online.

[Laetitia94]

Aan hoe? Are you for real dude. Shè didn't sleep witth anybody. And wife and family? She doenst have one. And he was looking at nutdes all the time o of other girls

[Laetitia94]

'Will make a good wife' lol we 're not living in the 1950s anymore

[Z-Spark]

such girls are hoes, deal with it just cause you do that and feel offended won't make men change their minds, the moment you show your body to someone else evne though you're dating someone then you're a hoe... "he didn't give her attention?" really? so if my girlfriend can't cook i can fuck another girl who can... cause food is important for me, thats your logic if we do things by it the world is doomed.

[mars2117]

You must tell him, explaining exactly what you have just written. You have broken his trust, so you have to tell him at all costs. It's disrespectful of you to have done this to your boyfriend. Maybe he'll forgive you, maybe not. But you have to... You have to rely on his "judgment", being as frank as possible.
You even have to break the bridge with your best friend now to show to your boyfriend that your best friend doesn't count for you etc... You have to apologize too.

[adviceandthat]

Be honest with him. What is meant to be will be.

[Asker]

Yeah I was honest with him, he decided to give me a second chance since I'm willing to fix my mistakes. Thanks for your input.

[adviceandthat]

Aw well done you should feel proud!! I hope things work out, hey anytime, don't mention it!😊

[Gianna17]

he sounds like a dick. end it

[OlderAndWiser]

Were you in a committed, monogamous relationship at the time this happened?

[madhatters4]

honesty is always important in relationships. you should tell your boyfriend.

[QueenofCups]

No! Don't tell him. It will ruin all the good things in your relationship.

[Asker]

I thought about not telling him, but i told him in the end because it would have been extremely selfish to keep that from him and expect his complete love and trust. And after reading a lot of the other comments on here, being honest is the right thing to do, as well as taking responsibility for the things i did wrong. It was a good thing that i told him, and although I will have to work things out, I think he appreciated to know that i was mature enough to take responsibility even if it meant there's a chance he might break up with me.

[Blonde401]

Why didn't you just break up if he's a crappy boyfriend? And you've got issues you need therapy for, not a boyfriend.

[sean1812]

nope

[jacquesvol]

As long as your face isn't in the photo, no harm is done

[birdie_man]

I have no idea is hard to think what you 2 have together besides he made you feel desperate and try to gain his attention. why is he like that?

[AlwaysHonest]

Would you want him to tell you if the situation was reversed?

[Asker]

Yeah i would want him to, so i told him and was honest about it. Thanks for your input.

[cancan73]

only if you think the best friend will tell otherwise don't worry about it. he sounds a bit of a pig and probably deserves it

[LastNightmare]

that's sad. Why don't you try hacking?

[Deusmortis]

you are so dog Like. your boyfriend is dickhead and you are a douche who is still in relationship with him

[Sabretooth]

learn from it and don't do it again.

[drimer]

if there no way he could learn it another way than you telling him i would'nt. that would probably just break his trust. you made a mistake but nothing armfull, get over it and try to move on.

[Anonymous]

Of course you tell him. You did a bad thing and if you don't say something he'll find out through other means, which will make it even worse.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, based on what I just read, I don't think you have the maturity to handle a serious relationship. My ex hurt me, I have not spoken to her in a year. If he finds out, and it isn't 100% about how you will make things right, and about YOUR personal responsibility, with absolutely no justification, he will either ghost, freak out, or lose trust in you and cheat. Your relationship is over.

[Asker]

I told him, because he should hear it from me, not find out from someone else. I took responsibility for my actions and am completely serious about making things right. So he and I are working things out. Thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

have you ever thought of showing him this post you just made? seems like he may understand after that.

[Asker]

Yeah after I told him, I told him about this post, he read through the comments. It was helpful to do so. He and I had a long conversation about it all. Thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

congrates!!