Would you stay with your partner if you found out they lied about their sexual past? How bad is lying about that?

Doesn't apply to me. I don't have a partner. If you found out your partner lied about how many people they had sex with, would you stay? And how bad is lying about that?

  • Yes I would stay
    54%(64)57%(199)Vote59%(135)
  • No I would leave
    46%(55)43%(148)Vote41%(93)
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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 75

  • I don't tolerate dishonesty in my relationships, so I'd likely leave.

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  • If i found out that she was lying bout it, I'd actually leave that past as it is. The only thing i care about is whether she has slept around with anyone else after being in a relationship with me.
    If that's the case, then I'd so berserk. I'd so sooo pissed and uncontrollable. I may even hurt the guy that touched her.

    but is everything she did was in the past, as in before getting together with me, then I'd forgive her and love her all the same. Maybe even more, coz she decided to be honest with me, rather than keeping it away

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  • It doesn't just depend on the number, it depends on what TYPE of partners they had. If my girlfriend reveals that she had sex with a bunch of women in the past (in other words she's bisexual), I'm dumping her and if we live together than I'm kicking her out of my house.

    And I'm sure some guys may not like it if their girlfriends and wives had previously been with, ahem, "certain ethnicities" in the past, either...

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    • As much as I disagree and am disgusted by this comment of yours, this is true for certain people. I would personally break up with them for lying, rather than some other stuff.

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    • @browneyedgirl88 Actually, I said "SOME GUYS" may not like it if their gf/wife had dated particular races - I'm not one of them.

    • @browneyedgirl88 and bisexual women are (supposedly, anyway) not homosexuals (although,. you kinda said it yourself, they mostly are closet lesbians that only marry men because they want a man to pay for their dinner and buy them gifts, then inevitably end up cheating on their husbands with other women), they're bisexuals. Therefore disliking bisexual women does not make me a homophobe.

  • I would most definitely leave. If she said 3 but really slept with 10+, I'm out immediately

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  • Depends. If she told me she was a virgin, but she wasn't, I would dump her. However, that has less to do with the fact that she lied to me, and more to do with the fact that I only date virgins.

    If it was the other way around, and she told me she wasn't a virgin, but she actually was one, then I'd still be upset that she lied to me, but I wouldn't break up with her.

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  • It depends on the lie. If they said one person, and it was two people, I would probably stay with them. If they said that they were a virgin and I found out that they slept with 365 people that year so far and its only January (extreme to make a point). I would have a problem with that. A lot of it is context and severity.

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  • I'd leave.
    Sexual history is important for me to decide whether a person is a good fit for being my partner.
    I wouldn't stay with someone I'm clearly not compatible with, and I'd get angry as hell at them for wasting my time by omitting important information about themselves.

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  • Don't ask, don't tell. You all want to fuck like rabbits on the first date, so why should it matter if she fucked the entire football team and marching band? Isn't all part of the beautiful sexual garden? Shouldn't the number of sexual partners be looked at like nascar victories?

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  • I wouldn't give a crap. What they did before getting into a relationship with me is their own business. I don't even ask, so they won't have to lie. As long as they don't have any life-threatening STD's, crazy stalkers, or unresolved marital issues, then who cares?

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  • It depends really. I would not necessarily leave them - certainly not if we were already married. But if I was lied to that is a betrayal, and it would most definitely require some getting over. It really depends on the circumstances. Why would she have lied about it? Why would she lie to ME about it? Why would she hide it for this long? It really depends

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  • It depends. Was it more? By how much? How does that true number stand relative to the old one?
    If it would be little bit more, I would like to know, I would have a lot of questions. If it would been a lot, then…I would probably asked for some list and details. I’m very knowing-oriented guy. In both cases I would consider leaving. And the intensity would be proportional to extra amount.
    If it would be less, then I would be happy. But confused, why she lied.

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  • hand on heart.. didn't you ever gone way too far with you boyfriend or any male partner before you actually went into a serious relationship with someone? yes we do tend to hide (for some they dont care) if it comes to such topic with your partner. it's not always you spill everything on Day1 talk. it takes time to build an environment to exchange such past experiences. I remember instances where I met this girl and both couldn't speak up over past relationship. but then one fine day both revealed about sexual past and all. frankly speaking, if someone had sexual past but after u fall into serious relationship, u both respect each other sentiments and hav no sex with any other person, then it's all good and fine.

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  • When we first started dating, my wife was afraid to tell me much about her sexual past for fear it would push me away. But the more she told me about her past, the more intrigued I became. Some of us don't view it as a turn off.

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    • bless people like you because others like to throw stones when they too stay in glass houses far more fragile than others.

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    • @LanceWynter No worries. :-) I agree, if my wife had lied to me, it probably would have bothered me, but I made it clear though other conversations we'd had that it was OK to be open and honest with me. It just took her a while to trust I wouldn't judge her past. It made her the person I loved.

    • honestly sometimes trust is hard and never completely won. so her having those natural feelings to not fully trust right off is ok.

  • I would leave. How am I to know that they aren't keeping other such important things as secrets? If I am open and honest with them, I expect the same thing back.

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  • I would sure leave that woman behind because me being lied o in order for her to feel better about sexual past is a big NO NO. I don't like lying to people about this & sure as hell don't want to be lied to neither. It's better for me to be with a woman with trust & care without any lies within it.

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  • if she was hiding a lot, then i would leave. I would be taking a big risk with sexual diseases and it shows she might go out and hide even more

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  • I've never asked her about what her 'number' is, although I think I've figured it out. Same with previous girlfriends.

    Therefore, she's not been given an opportunity to lie about it. She's allowed to have a past, before me.

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  • If we are truly in love, I would stay. It may be kind of hard to take in and what not but I'll have to accept it sooner or later and we'll move on with our relationship.

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  • If at any time in the relationship she made me feel like I couldn't trust her I would end it. Trust is the most important thing to me in a relationship.

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  • I would definitely leave, I don't date promiscuous girls regardless. Her lying would've been even worse. Absolutely no way I'd stay. Its over.

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  • This would not be an issue with me, as I know better than to ask how many people have you had sex with.

    The past is the past, and as long as you are STD free. How many sex partners you have had, has no bearing on our relationship.

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  • A person's sexual past is nothing to ashamed about. I love hearing the dirty details to be honest.
    I'd be disappointed if they lied, but it wouldn't be a leaving issue.

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  • I wouldn't care, honestly, it's their past to tell me if they want to or not. I'd prefer they just not tell me rather than lie about it though.

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  • Best practice is not to ask what you don't really want to know.

    However, if there is a difference in expectations, you better clear it up in the beginning.

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  • I don't really care how many people they've been with, so long as they're happy and disease/baggage free now. Lying about this suggests baggage.

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  • Tricky. It must have been a real mess for me to leave. Like instead of 3 guys she took part in orgies, foursomes, gangbangs, lesbian stuff, or had 50 guys.

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  • its not so much that they had a sexual past it's that they lied about it im a sentimental person to me i messure character from the past how much they've changed if you're not ready to talk about something be 100% upfront and just say you aren't ready to talk about good or bad but dont LIE! personally i was raised if someone willblie about something small they would lie about something els and i ain't about that of course details amd stuff like that do tend to happen so set white and blck there's a grey area somewhere with every situation

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  • Lying to me about anything regarding sex, be it your history or faking orgasms, immediately sends you straight to being "placeholder-material."

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  • What's past is past. I wouldn't ask in the first place because I just don't care.

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  • Whether he's slept with 1 person or 100 people, I honestly don't care

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What Girls Said 45

  • I'd be gone immediately.

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  • I have no idea why people are saying "the past is the past" or "the past is past and is none of my business". It's perfectly natural to want to know more about your potential life partner... and that includes his past.

    The past makes up a VERY large part of who you are. Not the future (which hasn't happened yet) and not the present (which is happening right now). If you don't know your partner's past, do you even really know your partner at all?

    Getting to the question, I think I would leave my partner over something like this. I can tolerate small lies, but if I'm trying to get to know you and it's just lie after lie coming out of your mouth... I couldn't handle it.

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    • common sense by this wise young girl. your past and actions definitely define who you are.

    • @FreeMenUnite Agreed! And thank you very much!

    • This is the answer I was waiting for. I got tired of this past does not matter thing. God thanks one logical person here.

  • Depends entirely on what they lied about. If they said they had like 2 sexual partners but it turned out to be more like 5 with one night stands then I would leave as we would not be compatible then with our values. I do not sleep willy nilly with anyone and take sex seriously. I would not under any circumstance be with someone who isn't the same.

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  • Depends tbh. I was talking to this guy who's girlfriend told him she was a virgin (without him even asking her) and then when 1 of her friends told him that she was lying (and he confronted her) she admitted that she let him go in raw while she believed she had an STD. Some people are just reckless and sex is so intimate. I wouldn't even want details or anything. Just a heads up on any exes I may encounter and a clean STD test. I'm not 1 to lie to the ones I really care about/love. Even when that means looking like an idiot or a jerk. I'd be pretty pissed if he lied to get into my heart & pants.

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  • I would leave.

    It is a bit like buying a used car. The seller tells you it has had only two careful owners, but in fact, it has been owner by six petrol heads and is virtually clapped out.

    The seller is withholding vital information that may prevent you from reaching the best decision for you about buying or not.

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    • But if his past might shock you?

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    • that is not a bad attitude. just because you use example does not mean anything. are you a feminist?

    • @lukazervaki No. I am a realist. if you were with a girl that led you to believe you were only her second guy, but later found you were her 102nd, would you be a little bit miffed? I would be, if I found out my guy had had more than the one other girl he told me about.

  • First of all, I wouldn't be dating somebody who I sense is lying. I can sniff out liars in a heartbeat. So if I that urging feeling to call them out, they're lying and I would no doubt leave. If I ask these questions prior because that person says they want to date me, is because that is what is very and extremely important to me. In fact, that is one of my first questions.

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    • You can sniff out liars? I hope I never run into you on the street one day..😂 😂 😂

    • I just ignore it and keep it to myself. It's not my business unless it's somebody I need to protect. And besides, after the way my late mother died, I have every right to be twice as suspicious. I don't just sense that about a person. I sense things everything spiritually about them as well. Things scares a lot of people. So my advice to anybody. NEVER LIE. If you're a good person, prove it through actions. Be genuine. Because the worse thing you can ever do to so somebody you claim you love or like is lie.

  • We haven't talked about it, since neither of us really care. The past is the past. I know when he lost his virginity and some other general stuff, but not that much. Wouldn't be that mad if he had lied about the things I know, since they are quite minor. But lying is still always lying, so wouldn't be happy about it either. Would definitely not break up with him because of that.

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  • I wouldn't and haven't asked so the answer wouldn't matter to me

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  • I would start to ask myself why they felt the need to lie. I would probably start doubting the relationship.. if they’ve lied about this, does this mean they feel like they can’t be completely honest with me? What else have they lied about? I don’t think I would exactly leave them but it would be hard for me to see the same and I would need a lot of assurance and need to understand why they felt the need to lie.

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  • I think I would but it must take a lot to have to lie, obviously if someone asks early in the relationship i think it CAN be forgivable but it should come out sooner the sooner you feel closer and WANT To be honest.

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  • I probably would stay at the beginning you like someone so much that your scared that any little thing can scare them away. So you try to be as perfect or as much like every one else as possible. Everyone has a past, I'm not a virgin so it would be hypocritical of me to say or think otherwise.

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  • To me it depends on the lie, not really the number but also like some of the other GAGers if they are diseased free

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  • depends on what is his confession
    if he used to lock his exes in his red room again their will and make things to them I would be super freaked *runs away *

    if he lie to me about the number he has sex with... nag, I hate the most when people lie to be but I try to reason with them, of he has an explanation I would forgive him

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  • it depends what they lied about. if they lied about having stds, then yes,
    id be pissed for not informing me beforehand.

    if they lied about how many people they slept with. say they actually slept with more, id probably ask why he had to lie. maybe it makes him more secure?

    i wouldn't dump him immediately. ill find out why he had to lie in the first place, and probably let it go. depends how young our relationship is as well. if its a long term relationship, id definitely let it go though it may bother me. if its a new relationship, ill find out why the need to lie.

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  • why lie about your past. embarrassed? crazy if you are gonna lie about that you are gonna lie about everything

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  • I would stay. In the beginning of a relationship everyone has the fear some little things will make the other one step back. What matters to me is what they're now, not what they've been before.

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  • Yea I would leave and i did. It's kind of like withholding vital information. It is hurtful, I know cause my ex dis that.

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  • Yes I'd stay. But only because I wouldn't care enough to ask his past and get a lie in the first place.

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  • I don't see the point of lying about it, I think that's what would upset people the most and not even care about how many people you've been with.

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    • and what about not telling you certain things?

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    • @scooogy strange.. i don't know how they couldn't handle it when its their partners struggle. I guess it depends on how badly it effected the person mentally, like if they are just so broken then that person needs deep psychological help instead being in a relationship. They need to take care of themselves first before caring about someone else.

    • would you mind continuing this in private?

  • I would just be confused why they would lie about that?

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  • I wouldn't ask to begin with. It's not relevant and I wouldn't know one way or the other if he was lying or not.

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  • depends on how big the number is lol

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  • If there was a possibility that they contracted an STD or some sort of sexual disease, then yes

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  • nope, the past is the past. i’d wanna figure out why they lied but otherwise? nope

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  • No but who knows what they would lie about next?

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  • The past shouldn't matter. What should matter is the person they are now and if they're faithful. I hate that everyone thinks it matters how many people someone has been with especially now. Rather them have experienced things then get old and want a divorce because they only been with one or 2 people.

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  • No..

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  • If they are lying about something that simple they can't be trusted. what happen before me is in the past. no need to lie give me the chance to decipher if I want to take it further or not.

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  • it depends what the lie was. if for instance they lied about sexual abuse it would be rude for me to leave.

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  • I would leave.

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