Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I just found out that I am pregnant? Should I tell my mom? How do I tell my boyfriend? Should I get an abortion or keep the baby?

I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 17 and is a senior this year and I'm gonna be a sophomore. We have been dating since I was 12 and he was 15. I believe he truly does love me. He writes me love letters and sings me love songs that he wrote. He always brags about me on social media. His mom and I get along real well and go shopping together or mani-pedi. I am over at his house every Saturday and we hang out Friday nights. He works during the week. He likes to try and cook spaghetti or alfredo for me at his house. My mom doesn't allow us to be upstairs alone together and she works two jobs so she isn't really here all that much. I have two younger siblings I watch during the day. A couple months ago, we were talking about getting married and having kids together and we both really liked that idea. We decided to have sex with no protection and he came inside of me. Both of our moms have lectured us about safe sex and I am on birth control but purposely stopped taking it for about a week or two before we had sex. My mom will be pissed! His mom probably won't be happy either considering she yelled at us for grinding at a concert. I mean cmon. I don't know if I should keep the baby or get an abortion. I don't know if we are ready to have kids. I do know that he is the love of my life. He literally wrote a song about me when I was on a weekend school trip about how he missed me and sent it to me on Snapchat and was crying. He is super sweet and thoughtful. I do know that my mom will be furious if she finds out and his mom probably won't be happy either. We came up with baby names as well a couple months ago. I think my boyfriend will be happy. How should I go about telling him and my mom? Should he tell his mom?
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Abort it
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+1 y
I don't know how to tell my boyfriend about it, although I think he will be excited! We were coming up with baby names before we decided to have sex and we also talked about getting married. I don't have a job because I'm 14 but my boyfriend does. My mom and his mom are also all for abortion so they will probably want to do that. How can I bring the news up to my mom? How can he tell his as well?
+1 y
Also if I don't want to abort the baby, can my mom make me get an abortion since I'm underage? I texted my boyfriend and he's really excited and he wants me to come over to his house. I just know both of our mothers are going to be super pissed. I also don't know how to take care of a baby. I don't know what to do. Should I abort it and wait until we're older and try again? Or should I just have the baby? Does my mom have to take me to get an abortion or can my boyfriend?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • No really good solution for it really.

    1) Many women who abort, regret it later. Also if you are unlucky, you can be less fertile afterwards or even infertile
    2) if you put it up for adoption, you might wish you'd keep it, wonder what your kid is doing etc later on
    3) If you keep it and convince your mother to raise it, your kid will most likely see you as more of a sister, than its mother
    4) If you raise it yourself, you are screwed regarding school etc...

    Pick your poison.
    But either way you should of course tell it your mom !!! You have to tell her anyway, whether you keep it or need her signature to get an abortion. So better tell her as soon as possible.

    You should also tell you boyfriend either way. You can get away with not telling him if you decide for an abortion, but it's always good to value honesty. It's his kid too after all.
    Don't get why so many girls question that, anyway. Yes it's your body so I get why you have to last word. But it doesn't mean the father should not have a say in it at all. Especially if you keep it and expect him to pay child support. Least you can do is at least let him voice his opinion about the situation first.

    If he then tells his mother, should be up to him. But he better should.

    Stop worrying at you mom or his mum being agry. THAT'S THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES NOW. You're pregnant. That's not some childish shit were you fooled around and hope you parents don't find out.
    Let them yell at you, you'll need their support.

    • No your mom can not get you have an abortion. Don't worry.

  • You tried to get pregnant at 14... your an idiot. I hope you abort or put it up for adoption. because the fact you got pregnant on purpose means you need some help. your a child you dont know shit about having or taking care of one.

    but tell both your parents and him. and expect some serious consequences

    • I don't think it's a bad thing? We are both in love and had plans to get married and wanted a baby. We just don't know how our mothers will handle it and what the right decision is

    • What did he say when you told him... your mother's will lose their shit and rightly so.

    • My boyfriend was happy about it. He said he can't wait for the baby if I choose to have it. He said he would like to have it and he thinks we can have a little family and we would be great parents. It will be a challenge but a fun challenge. But he also said he fully supports whatever decision I choose. He then started going over baby names but I don't even know if it's a boy or girl. He also wants me to go over to his house tonight to talk more about it

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • You intentionally stopped taking your birth control without telling anyone, so that you could have unprotected sex and encouraged him to finish inside you. Sounds like you made up your mind before you had sex.
    You are so young, this will change your whole life, you're going to have to stay home a lot while your friends are out enjoying their teen years, you'll potentially miss out on a fulfilling career, you'll struggle for money, and once your boyfriend realizes how much this will also cost him, I guarantee he will bail. You have no way to support this child, and the employment rates are low in many countries, especially for untrained/unskilled young people who can't commit to hours because their child needs them all hours of the day and night. TRY to think past "aw cute happy family" because it won't be. Babies stop you sleeping, you'll be exhausted, grumpy, insecure from all the hormone changes, stressed, frustrated. I can't believe you put yourself in this position on purpose

    • If you choose to go ahead with this, make sure you get his name on the birth certificate, that way if he bails at least you can get child support 🙄

  • You should have thought of all these things before trying to get pregnancy...
    that being said, you are.
    in my opinion you shouldn't get an abortion no matter what. Having a baby will change your life forever. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. If you do decide you aren't ready to be a mom, put it up for adoption. That way a GOOD THING can come out of a mistake you made (IF you decide that getting pregnant was a mistake. Not saying it is or isn't) you will be giving a child to someone who can't have one.
    Tell your parents, but it is yours and your boyfriend decision in the end. It is your lives that will be changed forever.
    Lastly, my mom had me at 16. I'm 21 now. She raised me on her own and she was/is the best mom I could have asked for. It is very possible

  • None of us can tell you what you should do. You know your living situation, your relationship with your parents and boyfriend, your priorities, and somewhat whether your parents will offer you assistance. Regardless, if I were in your situation, I would console my parents and get their views and perspectives. But, this is you and your boyfriends decision to make, not mine. This is going to sound rude, but YOU chose to stop taking your birth control, not the child. So, you made the decision to get pregnant at 14, and now that you are pregnant, you are considering abortion. I'm confused.

  • Well you are young so she was right to tell you off. Because what she imagined has happened. Her son is a young father now. You have to act responsible and tell your mother. If you are old enough to have sex then shoulder the responsibility that comes with it.

    • Nobody told me off? I'm confused

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 17

  • Hi, Emika. I understand being scared, as you have a big decision to make. I have a couple questions for you, as I would need the answers to provide some advice. My questions are 1, what state do you live in? (I am asking this because different states have different abortion laws as well as age-difference laws in relation to things such as this. 2, why did you stop taking birth control?

  • doing and abortion is a murder. You and your boyfriend done your things but now you have responsibilities and you shouldn't try to run away from them and escape them and throw damn excuses to kill a newborn person

  • Don't abort it. You should have been more careful. Keep the baby.

  • If you truly believe that you are ready for a child at 14 years old, then keep the child. Just make sure that you know the full effects of having a child this early in your life.

  • I hate to say it but abort the baby. If you do decide to keep it, just understand that the rest of your life is likely to be a life poverty. That doesn't mean you won't be happy necessarily but it does mean that quality of life will be below average. Maybe your family has means to support you and you'll eventually have some inheritance coming your way but I'm assuming that's not the case.

  • 14 is too young. Abortion is the safest option.

  • You're 14. You probably don't have a job and you still need to finish school, as does your boyfriend. Abort it or put it up for adoption. Neither of you are fit to be parents at this point in time

  • "I am on birth control but purposely stopped taking it for about a week or two before we had sex"

    Dafuq?

    "I don't know if I should keep the baby or get an abortion. I don't know if we are ready to have kids."

    You're not: you're 14 for pete's sake...

    Please have the abortion, the only people who tell you not to have an abortion are the ones who are against abortion in principle so their opinion doesn't count.

  • Who knows. You fail to realize the fact that your boyfriend can see taking care of a child as too much and simply leave you. I'm sure a majority of single mothers didn't expect their man to leave them. Also, you're young as hell. Life is not the dream that you think you're living in

    • I'm pretty positive he's not going to leave. He got excited when I told him about it and said he fully supports whatever decision I make but would like to have a baby and start a family. He is excited and wants me to come over tonight to talk more about it and come up with a unique way to bring the news out to his mom

    • And you expect him to always be excited? Always be there? Because once you both realize the struggle of raising a human being, he will notice that he can walk away when he wants. The fact that you cannot understand this proves your immaturity

    • Thank you for your time. But ultimately it isn't up to us to make this decision. I appreciate your input and will take it into consideration.

    • Show All

  • put it up for adoption you dont really have to abort if you dont want to. but keeping it will be worse off for it then giving it some some rich fucks who can't have kids

  • Talk to your and his parents before any decision. Either way your life is going to change big-time.

  • Abort. You are far too young. You might think it's a great idea living a dream world. Wait till you a older and mature. Having a child is no easy task and will set you life back about 5 years in taking care of this child.

  • I know a man and a woman who were both 14 when they got their first baby. Now, 16 years later they have 4 kids and are still happily together. Sure, you two may not be ready yet to be a mother and father and you will definitely need help from your parents, but it doesn't have to be a disaster. Sometimes these things can work out.

  • You should have thought about you not knowing how to take care if a baby in the first place. Your mom will be pissed when she finds out you stopped birth control just so you could get pregnant

  • Giving it up for adoption would be another option.

  • Also worth looking to talk to your doctor/and or family planning clinic staff or similar.

  • We don't need more kids in this world. You'll be fine.

  • Get an abortion or set it up for adoption. You're not ready for a baby

  • you have to tell your parents ASAP, but I do think you should do everything in your power to keep them from aborting it, but just cuz he has a job and you two picked some names doesn't mean your prepared for a baby and no matter how great you may think this is for you now, but it was a huge mistake

  • I can't tell you what to do. With you being the age you are you must speak to your parents and work that through with them. Why you are having unprotected sex let alone being 14 is stupid

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