Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is it ok that my boyfriend never wants to do oral on me? Aside from this our sex life is realily good but this hurts my feelings?

i feel like I put so much effort into this relationship… I am always going out of my way for him and I don't even think he appreciates it half the time… I'm pretty… I'm fit… lol I'm clean! I swear!!! Last night we needed things from car… I didn't wanna go this time (bc I always go... we live in a condo) and he said I would get anything I wanted if I would go… he even suggested the sexual act as payment… so I thought about it and I said ok if you do that tomorrow I'll go get the stuff… he swore… he even shook on it… so I went to get the stuff. so today i brought it up (super cute like lol) and I said “oh so tonight I get the thing” lol. thats when he said “"oh shit… I would have thought you'ld forget. It's not you… it's me… I don't like doing it… it's not that I'm grossed out by you I just don't Like it… Its like a job you don't want to go to” so I said… “"it's not that I like giving you…… (which I do allll the time when we get “busy”) but I like making you feel good so I do it and I don't mind” and he said “"ok fine that's off the table too… i can life without it”. i feel so hurt that I actually can't stop crying while I write this… it felt like a big slap in the face. He said to "get over my ego.. that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings he just speaks his mind and he's sorry if that hurt me” …. but he wasn't even looking at me when he said it… he was laying on the couch… and acting like I was annoying…
i don't think I'm being irrational? on top of everything he is willing to give up my giving him oral (which he loooves and needs sometiems for a “"warm up”) than to do it to me the one time he promised? The worst part is that I don't even really need oral... but don't rub it in my face... not the first time he used that as bargaining chip and didn't deliver... I think that's the worst part... hurts my feelings and I feel manipulated and... he uses it to get what he wants knowing it hurts my feelings that he's so against it.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • i personally think he's being an asshole about it. I can understand that he may not like to physically do it because i feel like many people are that way, but he should want to satisfy you. things should be equal in a relationship. i don't think you need to "get over your ego" you have a right to be upset. Pleasing your partner and wanting to be pleased by your partner should be an important characteristic of a relationship. Maybe try to talk to him again?

    I'm not sure how long you guys have been together or how serious your relationship is, but i feel like a good relationship is built on trust and agreement. he doesn't seem to be abiding by that from what you've said.. just my opinion though.

    • I agree with you so much though...

    • He does always make sure I finish during intercourse before he finishes... sometimes I even finish 2 or 3 times.. and truthfully... I don't love oral on me and I don't mind giving it to him... that's the worst part! We would be fine!!! But he's a dickhead and he brings it up as a bargaining chip (this isn't the first time... he owes me like 7 orals at this point) and he never delivers. Last night he brought it up (again) swore he would... shook hands on it. And then today said that!!! "Oh shit... I woulda thought you'ld forgotten" I feel like he's playing some twisted game! It's messed up right? Am I being irrational now that I clarified this?

    • no no you're not being irrational at all. I feel like i have similar experiences with this (especially with stupid things because i over think everything). It's good that he strives to please you during intercourse. that's important. Maybe sit him down and tell him something similar to what you said to me. that you're okay with him not giving you oral, but it hurt your feelings that he wouldn't even consider it since for him, you consider (and perform!!) for him when he wants/needs it.

    • Show All

  • sexual activities have to be equal, if he doesn't give oral then you should neither. That's exactly how I feel about this topic.

    • Yep would say that, too. Pleasure for bothe parts. I also would never try to NOT kiss her after a blowjob. Same issue

  • that's honestly so dumb, if you go down on him, he should reciprocate, he sounds like a lazy ass

Most Helpful Guys

  • The truth is some guys just hate kissing the kitty. I have no idea why, I don't understand it, but it's true. Personally, if I were a girl, that would be a deal killer, but that choice is up to you. In the flip side, what's the point of making someone perform a sex act that they hate? I'd just find someone else if I were you. There are LOTS of guys who would love to eat a nice clean girl every day. Find one.

    • Honestly... I don't even really enjoy it that much when I've gotten it? It's not even bc of that... it hurts my feelings that he always brings it up as a "if you do this I'll go down on you" ... but never does... almost hurts my feelings that he even is negotiating it... you might be right anyway though. Thank you!!!

    • The worst part is the crazy "negotiating" thing. That's NOT how you treat someone you live. Not at all. Their pleasure IS your pleasure.

  • Damn, that's so fucked up. I don't know, to me giving oral is very fun but I guess some men just have a preference against it. Maybe you are sexually incompatible? He's a dick for not following through on his promise though, that shit is clear cut manipulation.

    • Yeah. I know. That's what hurts my feelings the most. He says I need to "Gerber over my ego"... I just needed to make sure that how I was feeling made sense. Thank you!!!

    • I really felt like it was manipulating and underhanded.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 10

  • if u do it he does it end of story. its honestly not that bad some men actually prefer performing oral on girls than receiving. shut down your oral on him see what happens

    • He actually said it to me! He said I didn't have to give it to him anymore just to avoid it!

    • That's crazy! I mean everyone has their pet peeves I guess but damn that's a shame. and a key part in keeping the spark alive through the years. what's your next move?

    • Honestly... I love sex lol and I don't really like oral (getting) and I don't really mind giving it? What bothers me is that he is always using it as a bargaining chip... if you don't want to do it I am not making you and I don't even bring it up... but he needs to stop bringing it up! THATS what hurts my feelings... he negotiates about it and then Doesn't deliver.. It makes me think of him as selfish and it Feels like a game... so I'm going to tell him all of that calmly and see what he says. That's all I can do?

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  • I can not even fathom this from a guy.. I love giving oral to a woman it is so arousing and getting her off is so amazing I even go back, for seconds sometimes.. its weird he doesn't want to please you in the way you want.. but maybe I am weird for loving it so much

  • You deserve a little oral.

    • Lol thanks babe!

    • Welcome :-)

  • just stop giving him oral

  • Mmmmm It's strange that a man does not like oral, I love it :P

  • facts are that he doesn't like doing it, and is willing to give something up enjoyable just to avoid it. His attitude was unnecessary but that's Where he stands in regard to it. If you can't get over that you two should just be done with it.

  • No its not okay, he gotta eat that pussy!

  • I'm probably the wrong guy to be answering this because I'd most likely turn you into an all day quivering sucker, you know the saying, how many licks doe it take to get to the nugget (tootsie pop)?
    Hey the truth is this, some guys like it, some guys don't, some guys do it, but don't have a clue as to what their doing, I've heard that one a lot.
    If he doesn't like doing it, he WON'T be any good at doing it, so spare yourself the frustration of being left hanging without that earth shattering, leg quivering, pelvis pumping, hair ripping climax... understand?
    Go find a man that understands the word..."Worship" and you'll become a real all night tootsie pop.

  • If he loves receiving oral so much but is willing to give it up just so he doesn't give you oral then you know he really hates giving oral but the fact that he is using it as a bargaining chip and not keeping his word must be discussed.

    • Exactly! Thank you so much!

  • well do you do oral on him

    • Yep!

    • well he should be able to return the favor lol or stop giving him oral

    • He said he is willing to give it up just so he doesn't perform oral on her.

  • That's sad.
    He sure feels like you have a third grade pussy.. Feel sorry for yeh.

  • Why he is not giving you

    • He never has really...

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Is it ok that my boyfriend never wants to do oral on me? Aside from this our sex life is realily good but this hurts my feelings?