Sexual Relationships
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He bought a dildo and was afraid to tell me. Also he confessed to a porn fetish after dating me for 3 years. What do I do?

My boyfriend bought a dildo for himself and was embarrassed to tell me. Honestly, I was fine with it because the mans "g spot" is in the butt.
However, it concerned me once I saw it, he told me he purposely bought a really realistic dildo because the look of the penis turns him on. He strictly stated only the penis and not the man attached. After, he confessed to a fetish porn he likes that is about women with dicks. Is this normal? Should I be concerned? Am I not enough to pleasure him? Could he be gay or bi?
I'm worried. We've been together for 3 years and this is the first time he's really gotten passionate about this subject.
I'm jealous and feel like he might not want me anymore, like he's bored.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • "He strictly stated only the penis and not the man attached."
    I can related to that. Also to that "chicks with dicks" fetish.
    Everything else of a man is a big turnoff.
    Got one of those ultra realistic dildos too. But I bought a way too big one, so I ended up never using it.

    I already "confessed" on this platform to be a weirdo who does not like to see himself as a "real man", so I don't have any reason to lie about "not being gay".

    So yeah, I think you can believe him. Why should I be the only one who is that way?

    And no, it has nothing to do with you not pleasuring him enough.
    Would not say it is "normal", it certainly isn't. But that does not really matter, does is? The question is if you can be fine with it and accept his sexuality the way it is.
    He probably won't ever do anything with a guy anyway.
    I actually considered it, but those guys "attached" to the dicks I would have liked to suck, were just too much of a turn-off. Just writing with gay man made me really uncomfortable. So I just ditched the idea altogether..

  • You will never be able to get passed this because you associate your value and self worth, with the provision of sex. You see his big cock shaped dildo as a personal threat due to this, and you feel threatened by his fetish because you know it is completely separate to the sexual pleasure that you bring him.

    In short, your ego is why you are jealous and feel abandoned.

    Most females have been brain washed into seeing sex as something they own and give, rather than share. This is why you will not be able to get passed this...

    And yet women have dildos just the same, are the biggest consumers of sex toys, and have even more fetishes than anyone could ever imagine. Yet most guys would never see this as a threat... they would probably buy you more.

Most Helpful Girls

  • He's not bored with you. You are enough for him. It's not something to be concerned about. He may be bisexual, but that doesn't mean that he's looking for a man to have on the side. It sounds like this is just something he likes to fantasize about. He may want you to try doing this with him during sex and he's slowly introducing it to you.
    Just don't panic about it, and talk to him.

  • The most watched thing on most porn websites are the he/she category there's nothing wrong with watching porn it's whatever. If you feel comfortable with it maybe by a strap on and fuck him haha like try it. What he enjoys in sex should change your opinion on who he is and the man you fell in love with he loves you too

    • Shouldnt**

    • I think I love you. :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 15

  • Eh, we humans have all kinds of silly sexual needs and hilarious hang ups about them. You love him? why not indulge him, strap up and ride that boy all night. Rock his world and assert yourself as the one and the only outlet he can turn to satisfy his secret needs. Dominate as the true queen of his sexual world and in return demand your own satisfaction, or you know…just let is go and have that really awkward conversation after he turns to craigslist to satisfy himself.

  • everyone has their own fetish or kink. the fact that he told you this proves that he's trust you enough to share that with you. honestly I agree with other posters, buy a harness strap it on and have fun with it. then tell him something you want to try. being sexually adventurous with your partner is a good goal to have.

  • This man is gay. Ummm if he's attracted to chicks with dicks and you don't have a dick I'm assuming then wouldn't he possibly go find him one?

  • This is perfectly normal. Lots of guys like pegging/anal and as long as he doesn't like guys sexually then there's nothing to worry about.

  • He's definitely not gay, and definitely not bored of you. If he's telling you his deepest sexual desires, he wants more of you; he wants you to get more involved.

    I have similar fetishist with a dildo and even strapon. My SO isn't into it and our sex life has struggled. I have no desire to be with a man, but I want my woman to be the one to fill all of my desires, and vice versa.

    Believe me, make his wishes come true, and you'll never have a dull sex life.

    • If you need someone to talk to about it, let me know.

  • he is not gay. he just likes cd tstv... most guys do but won't admit it... don't freak out and give him a paranoid sex freak complex. get a strap on and give him what he wants. and he problem likes wearing your panties also

  • what if he likes dicks but still love you? if he really was gay hé wouldn't be still with u after 3 years tho

  • he's a gay... but he afraid to tell others

  • Is this normal? not really. Should you be concerned? Possibly. However, I doubt it has anything to do with pleasure you are providing. He may be in the closet or just fantasizing cause it is different. Talk with him about your feelings and his. You may past ways or you might find a fetish to drive your combined sex drive.

  • he's gay

  • hahahahaahaha sorry sorry hold on bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha woohoo wooo breathh...

    • hahahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂I am also laughing right now

    • Imstill just wow I'd hate to be in your shoes I mean how would your parents feel like hows Brian oh you know he's out buying dilldos and shit lmao

    • he's just wasting money... he should buy a dog and have some crazy fucking nights... Hahahahahaha😂😂😂😂

  • He is not gay. He has a sexual fantasy that he feels comfortable sharing with you. If he were gay, he would be with a guy. Your guy enjoys having his Pspot stimulated and the best way to do that is with a dildo/vibrator/buttplug. By the logic of some of the posters, since lesbians enjoy playing with their gspots in lesbian porn, if you enjoy playing with your gspot you are clearly a lesbian. BS!

    M y advice: introduce buttplay for mutual pleasure: buttplugs, dildos, strapons. Play dominant or submissive and watch some tasteful and erotic pegging porn together.

    LOTS of straight guys have a fantasy of being pegged esp big macho, muscular guys LOVE the idea of a tiny little girl with a big cock bending them over and telling them "bad boy", "slut", etc. WHY? Bc if you were that guy who enjoys that and told your buddies that you enjoy that esp in macho sports like football, rugby, etc or just the gym people, the guys will make fun of you Until the END OF TIMES! Which is why this becomes a forbidden pleasure that guys are very curious about BUT 9 times out o10, have NO one to try that with! You can't tell your buddies about this or your family bc they might think you are gay or your girlfriend bc of fear.

    SO Celebrate the fact that he shared something SO intimate with you and go ahead and give it a whirl.

  • lol girl your looking at it wrong! He wants you to use a strap on to fuck him. He wants that manly anal g spot stimulated by you. He just wants to spice things up with the woman he loves.
    He showed you how much he trusts you by confessing.
    Try buying a toy and surprising him with it.

  • lol its just a fetish, almost every guy has one don't worry he still wants you.

  • He's a gay.

  • If a guy likes trannies... he likes cock. If he likes cock, he's gay. (or bi)
    He may not like "manly" men but he loves dick.
    It has nothing to do with "are you enough to please him" women say that shit all the time and it's really annoying. Fantasy has nothing to do with you, how happy he is with you, or how "pleased" he is with you.
    Your jealousy is based on your female mindset that it somehow has something to do with you. But it is no different than you watching a chick flick and fantasizing about romance and love and emotions. It has nothing to do with him, it's just fantasy.

    If you really want to help him along... get a strap on and ask if you can pin him.

  • He likes transgenders

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