Sexual Relationships
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Why would my boyfriend rather jack off then fuck me?

for real like I catch him looking at porn and literally feel cheated on because he doesn't want me sexually at all but always wants my time affection etc. even when I made him quit looking up girls online he still jacked off to Nothing. which hurt even worse. and when we do do it he does nothing and if i ask him to he says he's tired he works a lot but still. I'm not over weight I'm not terrible looking at least I hope not but he's got me so insecure when anouther guy calls me beautiful I'm about in tears like I've tried everything and he just doesn't seem to want me sexually at all but in every other relationship aspect he's like the perfect boyfriend we've been together 3 years but split for 6 months an now he has know sex drive mb it's his sobriety now but after a year ud think it would get better. I don't know
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Most Helpful Girls

  • That's a tough situation. I already get bummed when my man doesn't want to do it. I want it way more often but he doesn't seem to because of stress and being tired from work I guess. I mean he doesn't even make me cum but I still want him. I don't get it either. He is similar to your boyfriend in the fact that he still wants my affection and he's perfect in all other aspects. I just haven't seen him Jerk off though. I will see him have his hand down there a bit but not full out jacking off. Anyhow, have you talked to him about this? If you have been together that long, you should be able to talk to him about it. I know it's hard. I mean there are definitely things I have trouble discussing and I'm married to mine. Do you think some type of ultimatum would help? Good luck.

  • Okay this is a real problem. What you could do to spice things up is be a bit spontaneous. Like for example, when you're watching tv perhaps go down on him and see where that leads.

    Also, try new things in the bedroom like role play, new positions, maybe some lingerie.
    Try being a lot more dominant also no see where that leads. Like take what you want from him and leave it at that.

    Maybe some kinky bondage 😏😝

    I think this is quite common in relationships as well.

  • maybe its time you find someone else who will really into you and attracted to you
    the thing is.. if you keep staying in this situation your self-esteem will die

    • that's the thing it made me so depressed an low feeling I started getting attention from some other guy an now I'm stuck between the two

    • you gotta move on hon its normal that you'll end up seeking attention from other guys at some point because you don't feel desired by your boyfriend please find someone else

    • yea your probably right I just don't know how he's where home is an I feel so home sick an lost when he's gone

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  • He's not the perfect boyfriend. You two are not compatible and he is not the right match for you. Time to end this and find a guy who can and will appreciate you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think he's scared to rely on you to address his sexual needs. I can't say for sure how he feels about it but one theory I have is maybe he doesn't want you to feel religated to being his sexual relief outlet. By extension he might be trying to protect a perceived sanctity of the relationship you guys have.

    If you want a more subtle way to test what he's feeling, you can try initiating on him whenever he's having one of these moments, that way he'll eventually pick up the signal from you that it's okay to go for it.

  • Judging from the look of your profile picture, it must be gayness.

    I would tell you how attractive I find you but it looks like you're probably hearing that shit with a large grain of salt from men now. I think a girl like you should not waste your time with a guy who won't fuck you, that's what marriage is supposed to be for. 3 years, its not gonna be the same in intimacy perhaps, but don't use up your limited life with a dude whose manner of getting off most often precludes you.

    • thank you. and yaa I've literally asked him if he was gay a million times an go through his shit an never found any thing but constant searches for lesbian shit so I don't know

    • Sit on his face

    • lol oh and he doesn't eat pussy like at all his ex scorned that by fucking anouther dude then having him eat her out he can barely talk about it

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 21

  • y'all need to have a conversation and work this out between the two of you. Always better to communicate than not! And if your boyfriend is a heavy masturbator, he should use a penis health creme called Man1 Man Oil. It contains both Vitamin E and lysine and moisturizes and smooths out the penis skin leading to easier entry and better sex. I use it and my partner loves it... says my penis is like silk now. And trust me- it was a complete disaster with flaky skin and stuff before. Good luck friends.

  • Have you asked him why?

    • yes a million times he just says I don't know why an gets all stressed but now that I'm distanceing myself from him an have been hanging out with this other guy who is head over heels for me he's trying more and atleasts has sex with me but still doesn't seem into it at all im so confused

    • Has he thought about talking to his doctor or a therapist?

    • yea actually but he never does but I just don't get how he can do it with himself but not me or be into wanting me like at all he calls me beautiful an stuff but there's no like lust or want from him

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  • Leave him duh

  • Desensitized by too much porn. He needs to detox: not watch porn for a couple of months and he'll be all over you again, though I could understand if you don't feel like waiting that long to see if he can pull it off.

  • It's easier to masturbate.

  • www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a48455-warning-masturbation-porn-is-bad-for-you
    Because porn has warped his brain and now he suffers from sexual dysfunction and porn addiction that can only be relived through watching fetish porn and the self abuse of bashing his bishop.

  • xD is he just such a lazy bum that he prefers jacking off to the exhausting act of having sex? ... maybe he is not atracted to you anymore. maybe there are problems. but either way you should consider leaving him for that cause this can not stand. make him know that you´re gonna leave him. offer help to change but prepare to leave if he doesn´t.

  • I will masturbate rather than having sex... until...

  • Do you use condoms?

    • no never

  • he might be scared he will not be good or scared that you will get pregnant

  • its nothing... he is just thinking so much... just go step by step.. start with kiss and dont rush. make him feel comfortable while doing each... when you find him confertabl then only move to next step...

  • may b he respect u too much

    • becoz respect b develops love but stops me sexually..

  • he's gay

  • In my opinion you cannot ask a man to stop jerking off. It is not the same as sex and it is something personal a man will always like doing. On the other hand you should talk to him openly about your sexual relationship and try to find out what could make it more spicy for the two of you.

    • I've tried everything he's into literally nothing

    • Well if he's so much into porn you could surprise him next time you catch him watching it by joining in and masturbate together to some porn! It might lead to something more and make his libido come back

    • I could try I've offered b4 but nothothing but I'll try again

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  • Have you like never had sex with him?

    • no we used to all the time it's just since we got back together

    • maybe he isn't attracted to you anymore?

    • I guess that could be it but I mean he's like a lot less attractive then me like evryone can't believe he's the guy I've been in love with for 3 years but I don't know I gained a little weight but not much

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  • Because he is a stupid who doesn't appreciate what he has

  • guys like to jack off, and like a bit of change, it makes them harder and hornier
    as long as he is not leaving you without sex for a long time, I'd say stick with him

    • but now that I'm distanceing myself from him an have been hanging out with this other guy who is head over heels for me he's trying more and atleasts has sex with me but still doesn't seem into it at all im so confused

    • we are born hunters, :)) so if he keeps getting it from you on a plate for a long time, he gets bored, make him work for it a bit harder and you'll see that he will spend more time with you and will appreciate you more

  • Dr. Phil can maybe help you.

  • Actually you are very beautiful, probably he doesn't know how to initiate or maybe he is not secure on himself from this point of view.

  • Have you tried talking to him? Honestly, he has probably just jacked off so much it has no meaning to him anymore. For him it might just be normal and has no actual impact on his sex life, at least to him. He probably doesn't even realize you don't like it.

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