My boyfriend got me pregnant on purpose?

I (21 F) and my boyfriend (22 M) have been together for over a year and live together.

We were having sex (I'm on birth control) and we typically don't use condoms, he just pulls out. Well this time, he didn't. I was so angry. I asked why he didn't and he said he "thought I couldn't get pregnant" for some reason. I figured since I was on birth control I would probably be okay

Nope. Of course I'm pregnant. I don't know how far along exactly. I'm in shock. It doesn't feel real. I've always had irregular periods but when I started having cramps for 5 days and no period, I knew instantly something was wrong.

I scheduled an abortion consultation in the closest city to me (45 minutes away) I'm so scared and angry and I don't know what to do. Am I wrong for being so angry with my boyfriend even though it's my fault too?

I can't help feeling horrible. I know I'm an idiot but I just need someone to give me advice or something I don't even know.

Updates:
i know it has been some time but i would just let you all know i told my boyfriend about the pregnancy and had a long talk then made a decision together well long story short im still pregnant and will be for 9 months then we will be parents

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Pulling out is probably the most stupid way to protect, since there is always a chance to still get pregnant due to the pre cum.
    If you're stupid enough to believe that this is enough to protect, then I wouldn't blame your boyfriend for that, since there is a high chance that you got pregnant from every single time you had sex without a condom in the first place.. who knows that it was really that one time, he came inside you.
    Also.. unless you made a mistake with the birth control yourself, the chance of getting pregnant, even if he came inside you every time would be under 1%.. that's why birth control exists after all, so yeah.. being angry with your boyfriend is very irrational because it was either your mistake or you just had incredibly bad luck.

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    • i was on the pill too you know

    • If you'd read my whole answer, you'd know that I've considered that later on aswell.

Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Any method of contraception has risk of pregnancy.. therefore you are to blame as much as him because celibacy or removing the reproductive organs will be only full proof method of no pregnancy.

    2. If you take medication, antibiotics or certain foods they can stop the function of the birth control. Usually your doctor will advice you.

    3. I don't understand why you are angry at him. It's not his fault because birth control means you shouldn't get pregnant.

    4. I've been using pull out and ovulation method without any other contraception and we haven't had any child since 2 years plus. So it does work if done right.

    5. You already have a abortion lined up so try not to stress and find another contraceptive method that suits you and your partner best.

    You don't need to be angry or stressed. There is always a chance of pregnancy if you have sex and are fertile even with the best contraception. No one is at fault. No one is stupid. What happened, happened... just now think about future, how not to repeat the process.

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    • it is an abortion consultation

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    • thank you now just need to get the baby here now

    • You are welcome :-)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Wow... your blaming him? really? let me read... yep, says you had your legs spread so you were definitely also there. If you can't take the very serious consequences of sex, you shouldn't have sex. You can't just blame the guy because you were stupid also. Pulling out DOES NOT WORK. sure it reduces the chances, but sorry, precum can get you pregnant so pulling out is the most absurd thing out there. The worry of pregnancy is why I never trusted "the pill" and always used condoms on top of "the pill" before I was ready for a child. Abortion is an option but a really fucked up way of birth control. If you took all precautions and still ended up pregnant, then it is a reasonable option. You were negligent in this case.

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  • well first thing you can do is educate him that birth control isn't 100% effective.

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  • Not one mention in this post about taking a pregnancy test. Either otc or blood. All you stated was irregular periods. How do you know your even pregnant and freaking out over nothing.
    Consexual sex is a two way street. You knew the risks and the pullout method is one of the "forms" of bc if you want to call it that, that is the absolute worse.

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  • Birth control exists so you don't have to pull out.
    If there is anyone to blame it is you because you are clearly not doing your birth control right.

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    • i take my pill every day at the same time

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    • Then you are really just extremely unlucky/lucky? Go grab a lottery ticket.
      I would consult with the doctor about what things there are that could affect your contraception (like other medicine, food or maybe a medical condition you could have) because the odds of you getting pregnant the one time your boyfriend doesn't pull out while you are on contraception are pretty low for it to be coincidental.

    • i did have a cold at the time

  • Your on birth control so i can see why he thought you wouldn't get pregnant, there is like a 1% chance. Don't blame it on him. Try to work together on what you both want to do now.

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    • he dose not know im pregnant yet

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    • what do i even say or how do i even start

    • I'm not sure, ask one of the women here

  • he thought you were on birth control?

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  • did you have an agreement to pull out? or was that just the norm.

    abortion is a big step, but so is having a baby. 21 is old enough... lots of people do it

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  • Well, you know what they can girls who use the pull out method... mommy!

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  • pulling out is not birth control, it's self delusion.

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  • I'm guessing you don't want kids.. or at least with him

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  • thats a risk of fuck babe, you must be ready for it.

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  • advice on what

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    • i dont know im just really scared im only 21

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    • try it now

    • still won't let me

  • That's okay!

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  • Tell the dad first. . .

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    • Glad to hear the update!
      I think you're making the right decision.

    • thanks and i think so too

  • The only way you got pregnant is if you had intentionally stopped taking birth control.

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    • Birth control is not 100% effective.

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    • Sorry, I thought it was the OP replying to me.

    • Yeah, it's very effective, but it's not unfailable. With typical use it is only 91% effective, and that includes people who are very careful and try their hardest to take it correctly. It's also important to remember that some health problems and some medications can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control. For example, antibiotics can mess with it- and doctors don't always remember to mention that (which is dumb, but it's true). All in all, that's why many people choose to combine methods (e. g. pill in addition to condoms or pulling out). You certainly can't accuse someone of trying to get pregnant simply because their pill failed.

  • in my opinion, it's like rape.

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  • The time for blame has past. I'm not saying not to abort, but be warned that it causes emotional pain and makes it harder for you to conceive in the future. And if you do choose to keep it, you and your boyfriend should elope. There's also programs out there if you have a difficult time providing for a child, but if you do keep it, remember that child will love you unconditionally.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Did you have an agreement that he would pull out? Or did you just assume that he would, since he did before? If you had an agreement, then he's responsible. If you didn't, then you're both to blame, because you should have discussed your expectations beforehand. You're BOTH responsible for that. It's understandable that you're angry, though. If he had always pulled out in the past, he really should have asked you before changing.

    If you're not ready to have a baby, then it's time to consider options such as abortion and adoption.

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    • Oh, I somehow missed the part about your appointment. I support your decision and I wish you the best with it.

    • it is only an consultation

    • Oh I see. Well either way, good luck.

      I think it's kind of borderline- your boyfriend should have checked with you before deciding not to pull out, but I can understand why he thought it would be okay to rely on the pill.

  • You haven't mentioned that you have taken a pregnancy test? You may not even be pregnant. The pill can cause you to have pregnancy symptoms and depending which pill you're on your periods can stop altogether. Either way you have a right to be angry but you he thought it was ok since you're on birth control. You're both to blame.

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    • i have taken a test plus had it confirmed at the docs

  • It's already done. Placing blame won't help anything. If you aren't ready for a child then you are making the best choice for your life.
    You need to think about how to prevent this same situation in the future.
    Get a tracking app for your period, always use condoms, use a different kind of BC. There are lots of options.
    To me it doesn't sound like your boyfriend was trying to get you pregnant, just ignorant to how BC really works.

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    • really you think is was just an accident but i am just so scared

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    • That isn't a very good reason to have a child. If you can support the little one and give them a healthy happy upbringing, then consider it, but if you can't or you aren't ready to devote all your time and effort to raising a kid, then don't

    • my boyfriend has a good job plus we do have lots of room and we can pay for a baby

  • If you're not ready for it then don't have it. Yes it is your fault too, and no I don't think it's on purpose since you're on birth control and he knows, therefore he thought it couldn't happen.
    I wonder though why would he pull out if you're on the pills, why be on the pills if you guys pull out anyway *confused emoji*

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    • we use both the pill and condoms to but 100% sure but he did not use one that time but i dont know if im ready or not for a baby

  • Break up.

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  • Take responsibility and make sure you tell him about it.

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    • but how and why if im getting rid

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    • You should still do it. Just like you have to right to abort the child he has the right to know the child exists. It's the right thing to do, and it's what a responsible adult would do.

    • i do not know if i will abort yet i am only going for a consultation

  • Yes you are a little in the wrong for being angry only at him. People need to understand the point of having sex really is to procreate and we just manipulate it to get pleasure. If you absolutely don't want to risk getting pregnant and are able to decide to kill your baby if you do... how about be strong enough to not have sex or smart enough to wear a condom too. You chose to have unprotected sex with a man, he chose to risk it.

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  • It's not his fault. If you are on birth control, you are not supposed to get pregnant.

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    • No birth control method is 100% effective.

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    • We don't know if she got pregnant from that time that he didn't pull out... It could have been any time they had sex as pulling out is not very effective.

    • Pulling out isn't a statistically effective method because it relies completely on the man's self control and awareness of when he is about to ejaculate. However, if he does successfully pull out completely prior to ejaculating, then the chances of pregnancy are pretty low (since pre-cum only contains sperm if he hasn't urinated since the last time he ejaculated). Long story short, you are right, we don't know, but it is much more likely that she got pregnant from the time when he didn't pull out.

  • So you didn't take the pills?

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    • i took it everyday at the same time

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    • The way you asked the question, it's like you knew you could which tells me there's something missing from your story

    • what do you mean

  • just try to talk to someone. remember something happens for a reason. im sure everything will be okay. you'll figure it out someday.

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  • Look, as has been said in several comments and spoken about, birth control is never 100% and even when taken with due diligence pregnancies still occur. After all, he came right inside you rather then pulling out.

    However I think this is an opportunity for despite the fact you may not feel you're ready to be a mother you are in fact pregnant. Aborting the pregnancy is something that you'll regret for the rest of your life, while having this child is an opportunity for you to become an amazing mother yourself, not just see this child as a liability.

    You and your boyfriend are in good position in life it seems, he must be informed. This is a chance for you to grow together with this baby. If things don't work out he'll have to pay child support and must step up and be a man regardless.

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  • You have a right to be upset but at the same time, even if you were in birth control you should always use a condom no exceptions.

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  • Abortion? So u will kill the baby?

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