I crave male attention constantly, I don't have daddy issues. Can someone explain?

Question

My self esteem fluctuates, I don't fall asleep until 3-6am, I think I'm mildly depressed and perhaps have high functioning anxiety. I have not sought professional help because I don't want my family to know. I often go on sites like Omegle and take off my clothes (without showing my face). While I'm doing this, I feel better about myself and sometimes turned on... it's like I get a euphoric high. When I'm done I immediately feel alone and unhappy. When I do go out with guys (I don't often) we usually have sex on the first date. I tell myself I want to, but there's a part of me that feels like I need to? I enjoy sex but I doubt I'm a nymphomaniac... I'm in need of some serious psychoanalyzing. Do you guys think I need professional help, like therapy? Or is there anyone on here going though something similar?

p. s. I pay no mind to rude comments. I'm looking for actual advice/help and will ignore replies written solely to tear me down.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

You are going through a very typical phase in life. I think that last part of highschool life suddenly hits and we no longer have to wake up at 6 or 7 to get up for school, and women in particular - we have closed the chapter on our former selves and start thinking about how we're going to nest. So thinking of sex, experimenting with men, and doing the things you're doing is all part of putting your feelers out to find out what works for you. You suddenly don't have to be told not to do something, and you test the waters with things you might have been curious about. So yes, online fun, phone sex, casual sex - that is all part of this stage so that we know our boundaries. However, don't get stuck in it, because in some ways if you rely on it and it becomes addictive it can replace real intimacy. You've done it, you know how it makes you feel, now try and find out the core issue of where your unhappiness comes from.

When I went through my own depression, I found the core issue was trying to deal with people who had something to say about my life choice of being childfree. It was a constant battle I dealt with everyday that I didn't know how to handle it or what to say to people. I read some great books about it, found some relief that I was okay, and then started to talk to people about it.

For you - only you know what is really eating at you if it's some sort of inadequacy you might have felt when you were younger - if so, what was that? Did you have siblings or friends put you down? If so, for what? If you recognize what it is that you are have going on unresolved, the more things look a little clearer. Digging in to that core issue and learning more about *you* is just another way of growing. Once you are at peace with the problem or issue - then your confidence builds. When your confidence builds, more things are possible, such as selecting better men in your life. You want a guy to add to what's already great about you, not someone who will replace or fill some emptiness. When you learn how to accept and like who you've become, this will make sense. I can't stress enough how helpful it is to find that core issue, and find some books to read about how to overcome specific those hurdles.

By the way, being highly sexed at 18 is pretty normal too, so I don't even think that's an issue. But it seems like you're using sex to combat boredom or give you a high. If it's a high - it means something in your life is making you low.

StrawberryCream · Accepted Answer

I used to do the same. It made me feel wanted and pretty when in real life I felt the most disgusting creature alive. When it was over, reality hit me. They didn't really find me pretty or anything. I was piece of meat showing my body to strangers who couldn't care less about me.
I still don't find myself beautiful, and I'm still not attractive to most in real life, but I've stopped doing that.
You should still understand that it is a natural feeling to want to be wanted and sexy. And want attention. Nobody wants to be invicible. But you need to know you deserve better. You become unhappy and feel alone after it. You deserve better.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You suffer from low self-esteem, that's why you feel the need to be wanted by others. You like being reassured that you look pretty/attractive even though you do not believe so. I am not saying that to be mean, many -if not all- people are like that.
You feel guilty after that because deep down you know that you are better than that.
I'd suggest you to fix the issues you have within yourself.
You need to find ways to feel content with yourself.
It has nothing to do with high sex drive like many of the people here mentioned.

jairaam · Accepted Answer

i suffering from this same situation from 2 years... it's about our brain.. ( when we feel bored, alone and bad. we do something new something interesting which gives us happiness we feel fresh bit good usually it's about sex, drinking smoking, masterbute, drugs, etc ) ... when we do this our dopamine release and our mind work better and we feel good... but it's only for some time after that dopamine decrease from brain. . and then we feel bad, loneliness etc. ... we get this situation many times and we are addicted for this.. I hope you know what we do after addicted ...

UnknownBartley · Accepted Answer

Alright well the sleeping part I get, I was like that for ages too... Just had to make myself busy so I get so tired that I fall asleep... I don't think you need professional help, just got a very high sex drive and know what you want because if you are getting turned on like that, you are enjoying it and you like the attention that comes with it I guess, feeling alone and unhappy after is like when you watch porn but then feel horrible after I guess

BellePepper · Answer

You need to get a therapist. You're putting yourself in bad situations and don't stop even when you know you should.

aestheticsofty · Answer

Yes. You need therapy.

Texasmade1 · Answer

I think everyone feels a bit guilty aftet masturbation. But it could help to see a therapist, I know somedays when i feel depressed, i watch porn and it makes feel a bit better

king34 · Answer

I'll try to help, your obviously trying to fill some emptiness inside you by doing these acts of lust it makes u feel good at the moment but afterwards u feel more empty than when you started, like drugs, or addictions but there is an underlying cause, I can't tell you what it is because i don't know your life, I feel the same as u sometimes, and if you need anyone to talk to you can pm me.

JimxBrown · Answer

It all depends, you could just be horny. It's like 2am here and I have no idea why I am up. I also really enjoy showing off for people on Omegle, it's hot and makes you feel great.