Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend makes me feel unwanted?

Hey, so I'm a 24 year old woman and my boyfriend is 28. Randomly a couple weeks ago he was trying to initiate sex, so I tried playing with his penis and... Nothing. It wouldn't even try to get hard. I kinda felt like shit for days. Some times it works good, but during those times he doesn't try to foreplay or anything he just comes up to me with his dick hard, and he doesn't even look to see what he's doing during sex therefore there is no passion/no fun. Is he unattracted to me? And if so why won't he let me break up with him. I try to because the sex isn't the only place I'm disappointed in. Ugh guys why?
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • So with every relationship issue you should start with yourself. Ask yourself a few questions...
    "Do I love myself, do I love him?"
    "Am I honest with myself, am I honest with him?"
    Ask yourself what the answers are to these questions and why you feel these ways.

    Next ask yourself, what you can and can't do, what you have and don't have, who you are and who you aren't.

    Accept these answers and be proud of the negatives and positives, and make sure you feel your love for yourself.

    So next is these 4 questions relationship wise.
    Is there something you fear?
    Something you feel guilty of?
    Something you feel ashamed of?
    Something or something you grief?

    realize that you may fear he doesn't want you, but can you change a person's favorite color? or a person's likes? Realize that you can't control him, but you can control yourself and let the fear go.

    Maybe you feel guilty that you aren't doing enough, or something that I can't imagine, but realize that you are who you are and you have the right to be that person, and forgive yourself.

    If you feel ashamed of yourself or unwanted, realize that you do human things, everyone does, and it's not up to someone else, even your lover to tell you that you are acceptable or not, don't seek -self- validation/affirmation in others. be proud of who you are and let the shame go.

    And maybe there's an event you regret/grief, or you feel bad for him, or regret "making him feel a certain way". but realize life has a way of making the impossible possible, even scientifically, the chances of us existing on this planet after a big bang, being this close to the sun, and having a moon to stable out the weather, having water on this planet, not being inside a black hole or constantly bombarded by asteroids... it's literally one in a mega-trillion... and the fact that you are one of those people... but not just that... you might have noticed that you always have food to eat, or always learn the right lessons... (im not religious by the way, just naming how life works) ANYWAY so notice that life happens and let things work out on their own. Let go of any grief.

    With this you should be able to move onto the last step ;3

    Talk to him, tell him how you feel with your new found confidence and love for yourself. Tell him what you expect, without being forceful or negative, let him say what he needs. But be open and honest with him, be yourself, tell him your desires without guilt or shame or worry.
    (to be continued)

    • Once you get everything out, ask yourself "Does he love me, does he love himself?" "Is he honest with me? Is he honest with himself?" If the answers line up and you're willing to work with it despite a little pain keep trying. If the answer is no, or it hurts you too much then say farewell and use this as a learning experiences.

  • Well, it seems clear that whatever the problem is, it's HIS issue. Obviously it affects you, but you have done nothing to cause it.

    And while he may have some legit issue, the bigger problem is that he isn't communicating with you and isn't making any effort to make you happy or satisfied. in my opinion, that is a deal-breaker and I would advise you to break up and move on before he further damages your self-esteem.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You deserve a lot more than that. Honestly I'd say to leave him, he doesn't get to decide if you break up or not, that's your decision to make. If there are other issues in the relationship you need to think about if it's worth staying with him, talking it out and trying to fix it or if it's just best for you to walk away. You need to think about yourself with this, not about him and how he'll feel because ultimately you should be your main priority

  • You're pleasant looking so that can't be it. Find a new penis, they are everywhere.

  • This is something you both need to be able to talk about together.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 28

  • break up with him, he can;t stop you from moving on. Your not his pet dog.
    You don't owe him anything, your just his girlfriend, nothing more, nothing less.
    If your unhappy in the relationship, then there is no point. You have think of your own happiness over your partners. a lot of people try and sacrifice their own happiness over some stupid ass.

    As Mr oracle said, walk away before you do yourself further damage.

  • I'm perplexed; he won't LET you break up with him? Tell him you're done, don't return his calls, and don't be in the same place with him. He can't make you go out with him.

  • Maybe he has a physical problem causing erectile dysfunction and the times he is approaching you is because he has already taken "the little blue pill." Lack of erectile response does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

    But. . . if you are unhappy with him in other ways, why are you still with him?

  • hey that's not your fault that's his fault so don't blame yourself if I don't want to do it I'm not going to do it you could give me a look and it would go boing Bing Bang Boom you could be 50 feet away and look at me and it would go Bing Bang Boom you could touch me and you could bingbangboom you could say the word the and it would go bingbangboom very rarely but I ever say no as a matter of fact I don't remember time so that's all on him he's the one that controls it but at the same time just your smiles should out power his will

  • Sounds like you are wasted on him. A pretty young lady like yourself shouldn't be hung up on feeling so bad. If the relationship is dead, you need to ale that clear to him and kick him to the kerb.

    Before anyone says anything, yes I understand there are two sides to every story but my answer is just based on what is on here.

    Good luck whatever you decide though

  • he probably just likes to get straight to the point but it's kind of selfish for him not to accommodate your feelings.

  • That sucks. Time to move on I guess.

  • This sounds like a terrible relationship.

  • he sounds very detached from you

  • He can't tell you that you can't break up with him, you need to leave and find someone who's gonna give you what you want and deserve

    • Dump him and if he tries to say you can't or whatever, leave, and block him in everything, erase him from your life so he realizes you're done and you're gone

  • I wonder how these boring types get nice gurls as gfs

  • well i is possible that his manhood doesn't function correctly and he is too ashamed to tell you. but ultimately you just need to confront him about it.

  • get rid of him

  • He could be experiencing anxiety when he tries to perform
    sexually with you and i can guarantee this has nothing
    to do with you. He could be selfish sexually to you maybe
    that's one problem i think you need to reconsider things
    i would recommend having some deep conversation with
    him and communicate with him , ask him questions tell him
    you're tired of feeling the way you do and you want some answers.

  • well I guess he killed the nerves in his dick masturbating 😂... or he is the closet?

    but seriously it doesn't make sense, you play with his dick and nothing but other times the dude just comes up to you with hard on, which he got from?

    like other have said find somebody else

  • he just seems selfish in regards of sex

  • I'm kinda like him in some regards. For example... sometimes when I try to have sex with my girlfriend, I immediately stop if I can't get hard. I see my girlfriend 2 days a week. I see her after work and after I come back from the gym... so then we go out for a few hours and we try to have sex sometimes. I say try, because my body is sometimes too tired to go through with it. My mind wants sex, but my body says no, and as a result I don't get hard sometimes. Maybe that's his reason too. Try having sex at a different time?

  • Talk to him, maybe he is having some issues that he didn't tell you.

  • maybe he is intro, get it clear is there any problem is there.

  • Because you are cheap :)

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