I slept with a guy on the second date and now I feel really bad about it, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Recently, I got hit on by the most amazing guy that has ever asked me out. After that I found out that I'm going to a university far away for my studies.(8 hours by ship, half an hour by plane, tickets pretty expensive) I told him about it and his reaction was like: "aw why do you have to leave?" but he still persisted on meeting me. I was at this point in my life where I really needed some good sex, to be honest. After 2 failed relationships I had pretty much lost hope on that. We met up, and we went out for drinks. I got a little drunk, but I still knew what I was doing. We went somewhere quiet and we talked about us. He said that if I stayed here it would be fine, but I'm leaving so it's gonna be pretty difficult to meet me. So he said he didn't want a relationship. I'm the type of woman that wants a serious relationship, but... I gave him a blowjob. I don't know, I just liked that guy very much. After some days, he called me and asked if I wanted to go to his place for two hours or so. Okay, I'm not stupid, I knew exactly what he wanted. But my whole body just needed him so bad.. So I went there, we had some very good sex and after that we talked for one hour. I realised we were compatible in so many fucking levels... He was so similar to me and we would've made a great couple. He said that he wants this thing to continue and he asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink on Friday.. No sex, no nothing... But I just know he's never gonna be serious about me. I came across as an easy woman. I'm not that type of person, I did not want him to think this way about me. I feel so sad now, but I still want him very badly. The thing is, I want him in a different way than he wants me. I want a relationship, he doesn't. What do you think I should do? Should I tell him that we should not meet anymore? Or, like, should I keep up with that? If I do I'll probably get hurt in the end but I just don't know anymore..
i hate myself for what I did, seriously..

[Jaquav]

First of all, you're not easy for sleeping with him on the 2nd date, you're human. This game people play where a girl becomes more special with the more time that passes before she "lets the guy have sex with her" is absolutely ridiculous. Those games are for people who want shallow relationships. Two people should be able to have safe sex as soon as they are comfortable with it, not once a certain societal meter for time passed has been filled. If what you did truly hurts your chances with this guy, then he's not the guy for you. Seriously, whether or not he wants a serious relationship with you should be completely unaffected by you sleeping with him on the 2nd date. You said it yourself, you liked him so much that you wanted to do those things with him. Do you really want to date someone that irrationally punishes you for something that you both wanted to do? Set your standards high, don't allow people you date to be shallow enough that they actually follow these stupid, shallow, idealistic, societal bullshit principles that sound emotionally correct, but in reality, make no logical sense. If you want a serious relationship, but are having a difficult time expressing that to him then I have some advice. It's hard for people to be upset at you or taken back by what you're saying when you present it as a personal need. Present a serious relationship as something you need to feel happy and explain that you're just going to feel worse and worse over time without being able to feel the security and certainty that comes with knowing that he is all yours and no else's. That's how I'd put it at least. If he still doesn't want a relationship with you, then I'd suggest you move on without continuing the relationship. Based on what you've written, I think the casual approach would just cause you more heart ache than what it's worth, but it's your choice. Good luck!

[Bomato]

I wouldn't recommend meeting him again. It seems that you have developed feelings for this guy while he is on a different boat. Seeing him again will only reinforce those feelings and make it even more difficult for you when you leave. Could you help me and answer my most recent question? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Don't do anything. You will go study and he probably won't see you again bc of the distance

[Regular1]

I don't understand this. You did nothing wrong. You gave him the customary BJ on your first meeting and you had sex on the second meeting. That's what's expected.

[Nice222]

Just take it for what it was you both need some good sex at the time and you had it. I wouldn't see home again if you think your feelings will get hurt.

[Asker]

Uh, do you think he considers me slutty/someone easy to have sex with? What would you think about a girl like that? I suppose he won't respect me after that, huh..

[Nice222]

I don't know how he feels. But for me I would not think of you as slutty at all. For me slutty mean someone that sleeps around all the time with many partners. To me just the fact that you are worried about having sex outside of a relationship tells me you are not the slutty type. If he does not respect you then that is his problem. But I think he does and that he really likes you.

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[TheTruthOnMen]

Everyone should know "no sex until marrige" in the mean time just use a dildo. And there are many men out there

[Anonymous]

You should feel bad... making him wait for the second date before having sex is cruel

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't feel bad or hate yourself for this. It's OK for either gender to have sex based on need rather than a long term commitment. You didn't do anything wrong there. If you know for sure that he's not interested in a relationship, I wouldn't recommend keeping a long-distance thing going, though.

[Anonymous]

Do like most girls - Claim rape.

[TheTruthOnMen]

XD tru