Virgin boyfriend and my sexual past? How can I hide my past from him?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend is still a vigin and i am his first girlfriend and he now told me to make sure that he will never find out about my sexual past. He told me that i am a beautiful woman and therefore already had many sexual partners. He said that it hurts him already a lot that he knows that i am not a virgin and he can't imagine how much it would bother and hurt him if he knew them or knew how many and what i did with them.

Do you think its normal how he feels?

How can i hide my sexual past from him? I am 22 and he is 24, together for 6 months.
I had my first time with 12 with my ex boyfriend and he isn't a problem cause i dont even know where he is, since then i slept with about 14-18 guys, most were fwbs and some ons. The ons i dont think make any problems cause i dont even remember their faces or their names but the fwbs are a problem.
In my group of friends i am always together are 12 people. 7 from them were fwbs of me, 3 are girls and the last 2 hate me. I dont know how i can hide them from him cause my boyfriend now is often together with us and i am afraid they could say sth.

So how can i prevent him to find out about it? I really dont want to lose him because i love him and he is the first guy who treats me nice.

[kap_nss]

First of all, please, ignore those here telling you that he will get over it if he loves you. Because that so much not true. No one controls retroactive jealousy. And your boyfriend won't do it either. I've been in your boyfriend's place. It's horrible and the worst part is there is not much you can do about it.
You are in a pretty bad position. He's asking you not to tell him. And he's being cleaver in that regard. If you tell him your relationship will be doomed. He already doesn't want to know about your past. If he hears about your friends with benefits his self esteem will crash and you will never get him back.
In the other hand I see he's going to find out any time soon. I don't see how you can prevent it. Someone is going to say something that will give him the clue. And he will know about something. And then something else.
Maybe you two aren't supposed to be together. You have a pretty wild sexual past and he's a virgin. He needs to date a virgin girl or at least one with a pretty conservative past. And you need to date a guy who's been sleeping around and won't care about your past.

[FreedomByChoice]

wait, you dont even know how many guys you slept with so you had to estimate? well lets see I am sure you can recall Johnny from down the street and brad from band practice, hmmm did you also do the mailmen? can't remember? no problem, we will factor all that in and get around 14-18 guys.

[Asker]

I only remember my ex and my fwbs and a handfull of ons but there were other ons i can't remember anymore. It might be more than 18.

[FreedomByChoice]

I think your main priority is not worrying about hiding your past, but getting a std test before messing with a guy who is clean

[Asker]

I am clean, dont worry.

[FreedomByChoice]

so... why so many guys?

[Asker]

Every girl gets through a slut phase before or after settling down with someone, i had mine before settling down.

[FreedomByChoice]

I dont know, I can't really say every girl as slept with a unknown amount of possibly more than 20 guys but I am not judging.

[Asker]

Maybe not 20 but about 10. I was just really slutty, haha. But, i dont know any girl my age who hasn't slept around and i know many girls and they are not just the usual party girl slut but also girls who goes to libraries or just seem innocent.

[FreedomByChoice]

hmmm, you are in the usa and in college?

[Asker]

No, germany and in university

[Kikikiku16]

If you really love him, don't try to hide. It'll be fine. I know it's hard but you really should. He will understand. It's just my opinion though.

[Asker]

But he is the one who dont want to hear it! He waited for the right girl to lose his virginity with and i can't imagine how he can be okay with my past then.

[Kikikiku16]

I see. Then it's your decision. If he's really a virgin, he probably won't understand. But if he does, it'll be worse. So be careful.

[FreedomByChoice]

what kind of name is that lol

[tzdc21]

You do understand why guys don't find it favorable to commit to women with high body counts right?

[Brutal_Honesty]

maybe, you know, don't?

if he loves you he'll get over it

[Asker]

He is the one who dont want to know it! He loves me but he still said this stuff so he knows that this might risk our relationship, love alone won't hold people togther.

[kap_nss]

False.

[masterkamasutra]

be open and tell him, hiding anything is bad i n relationship, its your past.

[Asker]

But like i said in my question, he doesn't want to hear it.

[masterkamasutra]

when he wants to hear tell him, otherwise enjoy it, you must have great sexual skills.

[Asker]

Dont know about my skills, but a gil who had a 2 year relationship has probably far more experiences than me. But how can i make sure that he dont find out?

[masterkamasutra]

you tried various, you must be good, why to tell him be open and when he find out tell it.

[rick999]

If this guy really loves you he is not going to look for your past he gonna prepare for your future.. still better becoz he got a pro.. hehe

[kap_nss]

Not true. His retroactive jealousy has nothing to do with his love. And he won't be able to control it.