How do I tell my girlfriend I'm sexually unsatisfied with her?

[vertoxa]

I have been dating a girl now for 9 month and I love her very much. I could easily see her being my life partner. The only issue is our sex life has gotten dull and almost always require my to get things started. I have a very active sex drive and I feel like I'm always getting my advances rejected because she herself is satisfied. I'm also incredibly into receiving oral (always happy to reciprocate) but it's almost impossible to get her to do it without me initiating it or pretty much asking. It really makes me feel more of a burden than desired. I don't know what to do and I don't want to end up cheating on her. It seems like this conversation pops up almost every month. But she just acknowledges it then ignores it. What should I do? TL:DR my sex life with my girlfriend is becoming stale and I'm getting tired of bringing it up to her, but I love her. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Well, you said youve talked to her about it so at least you're ahead of most people. Good job there. 👍
You said "has gotten dull" which leads me to believe it wasn't always dull. Maybe try something new and different to get her going. Toys, role play, take sex out of the bedroom, just try something different. See if that doesn't kick start things back up. Perhaps, she's just become compacent and knows all your tricks and moves.
Nine months seems a bit quick to be having issues and you're saying you've talked to her more than once if I'm understanding correctly. So let say this started at the six month mark. I feel like that's like the honeymoon phase still.
Unfortunately if you really have talked to her and she's not willing to try to put in more effort I'm not really sure there's a future. I've answered this question a dozen times and I always say this, if she's unwilling to compromise here or put in the work I'm not sure how well things will turn out in the future when it's time to compromise or put the work with anything relationship wise, not just sex.
Unfortunatly, if getting her more interested in sex doesn't work out, love or not, you may just have to accept you're not compatable.
Sex is an important part of a relationship and if you're not sexually satisfied then people are just going to get hurt in the end. You will either resent her or cheat on her. You've already made it sound like cheating was a probability even though you love her. That should be a huge red flag to you.
Only you can really decide what to do but if I were in your place I'd try new things and see how it goes, if that doesn't work I'd say its time to find someone with a higher sex drive and more willing to give me what I needed.

[Anonymous]

How often do you both have sex? Do you make sure she knows you appreciate it? I don't mean say thank you cause that's not necessary but do you say anything during it so she knows she's doing a good job? My old boyfriend never used to say anything while I was giving him oral the only thing he would say was I was doing something wrong every 2 minutes. Sorry I don't mean to assume you do that, just make sure she knows she's appreciated

[Pink2000]

*name* I have to tell you something. You pussy is wack 🚮 Now that would be awful. If you do have talk with her and explain that you are unsatisfied she might understand but she'll be offended. You have been dating for some time now. Maybe she'll try to spice it up.

[MopStop]

Dump her. Trust me when I say it will only get worse. You're not even married yet and sex is boring. You need to move on and find another girl. Don't cheat on her. Just break up with her because it will only get worse from there.

[Intraluminal]

It'll only get worse. Not better. As the years go by you'll resent her more and more and feel more and more rejected and unwanted.

[linds34]

Tell her the same stuff you posted here. But if it doesn't change, you have to accept that this is how things will be, and decide if you want to stick with the relationship knowing that.

[soralog123]

just become more dominant in bed. do different positions or initiate without words.

[YingKim]

Just be honest with her. Let her know first how much you care about her. Good luck! :)

[noteworthyweirdo]

What is TL:DR?

[vertoxa]

It was suppose to be TL:dl

[vertoxa]

TL:Dr = Too long didn't read. But it put the emoji

[ryansucks]

Send a passive aggressive email

[Anonymous]

See if you can discuss it with a counselor with experience in sex related matters.

[Anonymous]

Well you either have to find a way to get her to listen or accept it. I mean I know I've gone off giving oral as I dont like it on myself and it's not nice to do as you choke. So might be the same with her