Why doesn't my boyfriend ever ejaculate (cum) when we're intimate and try to get off on his own? Is this odd?

[Latayshia]

Me and my boyfriend have a great relationship overall but everytime wer'e intimate it makes feel a certain way and not in a good way either. Everytime before we have sex I give him a lot of foreplay including hand jobs, oral and even massages to get him relaxed, I caress him and kiss his chest and nothing. Even when we don't have sex I still do these things. When I give him oral or have sex with him I cannot give it to him or do anything to him without him stopping me to watch porn and hand-jack himself and It's interesting because I even give him a handjob while giving him oral. It's almost like he's giving me the message and signal that he doesn't need me because he can do it himself. Maybe he doesn't like my hands? I even massaged and gently sucked his balls while doing it! One time I gave him oral I went down on him for over an hour and he didn't ejaculate not once I did it so long the skin on my cheeks were peeling and bleeding. After I was done he looked up oral sex tips online and told me to read it and I told him he was nuts. Him not ejaculating isn't really the main problem It's his habit of wanting to get off on his own. He sayed he has never had oral and has not had sex in awhile and said he has to get use to me. I have NEVER had this problem before with any other guy I dated I was able to easily fully satisfy them but not this guy. I asked him if he's been like this before and then he said yes first but then he went on to say that he ejaculated within 20 minutes with them doing it. He said the girl just jumped on top of him and she did nothing else. When I get on top of him within a few seconds he tries to take control and pushes me off of him. Could he just not be that sexually attracted to me? I am willing to be patient and work with him but he insists on trying to pleasure himself. If he keeps giving himself handjobs how is he ever going to get use to me?

[tinyclit]

Not every guy is the same. It is as difficult for some guys to orgasm as it is for us women (or most of us anyway, some women orgasm at the drop of a hat I suppose). We are each responsible for our own orgasms. You can help him to cum, but you can't make him cum. He just needs more and different stimulation than you are able to provide on your own. There is nothing wrong with that. He's not doing it on purpose and it's not some sort of fatal deficiency on his part. All it means is that the two of you need to work together. If he needs lots of manual stimulation, that's okay! Mental and visual stimulation, no problem! Incorporate it into your love making. Watch porn together. Let him spend some time stroking his penis. Spend some time sucking, licking and stroking it as well. Trade off. Talk dirty. Let him know it's okay! Tell him, stroke it, stroke it! Encourage him. Beg for cum. Tilt your head back, open your mouth wide and get ready for success. Or maybe he needs something entirely different. Try to understand it, go with it and be a part of it. :)

[Pink2000]

So basically he's trying to tell you your head game isn't good without trying to hurt your feelings. Actually have you ever asked him why?

[Lethiferous]

Strange indeed. Maybe its the speed at wich you are giving head isn't enough to make him cum. With sex he can move faster and maybe cum faster because of it. Does he cum at all from anything he does with you and if so what is the thing wich makes him cum the most?

[MrOracle]

This guy is simply not making any effort to improve or communicate or even appreciate your efforts. I can't imagine why you are still with him...

[Latayshia]

I love him so much and am willing to be patient but I don't know what to do. He says he wants me to please him but then when I do he rejects all of my advances and wants to get off on his own? He even initiates it and asks me to do it but then decides he wants to do it on his own. Which makes me feel like a piece of worthless****

[MrOracle]

You can't love him enough to make up for the fact that he doesn't seem to care nearly enough about you. I know that is horrible, but you need to face the truth. You can't change him, so you either stay and let him destroy your self worth, or you leave him and find a guy who actually cares about you.

[Tamera952]

I hate to say, but I agree with MrOracle 100%

[Tie98]

I've known a couple of guys who've had the same problem before. I would say the reason why he can't cum with you is because he probably watches too much porn.

[bad_luck]

He watched too much porn.

[NJ_Casanova]

Yes... Not being able to cum with your girl doing things is Weird.

If you are too rough/doing something "not exactly right" he should have the BALLS to tell you.

[Tamera952]

Agreed 100%

[Anpu23]

I have a lot of the same problems. It's hard for me to get off, and it can be frustrating. I'm not a fan of head, part of it is because it doesn't do much for me. Perhaps the best solution is for him to show you how he gets himself off.

[thisguy24]

Yes that is weird.

[samsmoove]

Watches too much porn...

[Tamera952]

No, don’t be silly

[jayman401]

I truly dont think your the problem seems like he has porn induced ed basically can only get off when watching porn and jeking off i would say he's a porn addiction

[Anonymous]

I bet this causes loss of respect which is more important on the woman's part