Why does it bother me that my girlfriend used to blow her best friend before we were together?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of 7 m8nths has a best male friend whom she knows since 8 years.
They never had feelings for each other but when they were both 13 they startdd to perform oral sex on each other when single.
From the 8 years they were single for 6 of them and in that time they daily had oral sex but never PIV cause it was sth else for them.

Now my girlfriend still hangs out with this guy daily and it bothers me.
I talked about it with her but she won't stop seeing him cause they know each other for so long. I didn't asked her to stop seeing him!
So i know for sure that there is no feelings and no sexual contact between them anymore while i am with her.

But it bothers me a lot, what can i do?
I hate oral sex with her now, i still perform oral sex on her daily but i dont want her to suck me off anymore cause it feels so meaningless for me now, it isn't intimate for me anymore, and i also can't see intercourse as special with her.
How to overcome it?

She loves me over everything in the world and loves sex and oral sex with me and says that i am the best she ever had, and i am sure she speaks the truth cause i am great and i know what she loves.
I love her too, i never had such feelings for someone.

[Anonymous]

well if she only ever went down on the guy, and never really had sex... it should be special if you feel that way, it should all be special and meaningful to both of you, if you can't overcome that you need to tell her... I'm sorry but I can't get over you doing that with your "friend" and how you are still friends.

[Asker]

Yeah, i know sex shouldn't feel meaningless with her but because the guy licked her down there and put his fingers and tongue inside her it doesn't feel special just because instead of fngers or tongue i put my dick inside her. A question for you. You as a woman can you answer me, is it normal for girls to have casual sex and fwbs? I had only 1 girl before my current girlfriend, she is my ex and she also had fwbs and casual sex. Is it normal for girls to fuck without feelings and commitment? I know far more girls than guys who have casual sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Are you thinking she thinks about him doing that to her? is that also what is bothering you? and as far as the fwbs thing I had two, with whom the relationships would not work with. Personally though I don't think I could do casual sex again personally because of how I felt after both of them. Sex is different for us women, it is more emotional (cuddling, kissing) etc if you don't have those it might be a little harder to fall in love with someone. So no its not normal, as I mentioned how I felt after both of those I had feelings for both of them ( at two different times in my life)

[Asker]

I dont think she thinks about it while i do oral sex for her but she will certainly remember it what they did with each other whenever they meet each other. He will always be the guy who gave and recieved oral from my girlfriend for many years and many times. So, yes it also bothers me, especially now that i dont like her blowing me she will always think "why doesn't he want it? Or right, its because i did it with my best friend *flashback starts*" I also can't have sex without love, sex is too intimate to be sth casual.

[Opinion Owner]

Many people can have sex casually yes but I get where your coming from... If you definitely can't get over that you need to end things because you will be unhappy

[KrisPW]

She loves her friend, but not romantically like she loves you. She is still doing it with love. I say this assuming she doesn’t give bjs to random men.

[Asker]

This friend is one of many, she doesn't even spend much time with him, he is just a friend, not someone you love, its the kind of friend you call people not to sound rude. I am sure she is havjng ons and other shit, cause most who have fwbs have also onss.

[Asker]

Oops, sry. Ignore this answer, this was supposed to go for another question I've read.

[Asker]

Ok, here is the answer for your answer. No, she dont gave bjs to other guys. I still hate it, just because she loves her friend doesn't make it better. What is the differnece between me and him? I certainly dont see any.

[Anonymous]

Because she still hangs out with him and you are under the impression that it might happen again.

[Intraluminal]

Wow. I truly tried to understand your point of view, but I just can't. What's the difference who she suck off? If the two of you break up, are you never going to eat another girl? I doubt it.

[Asker]

But i do it only with love, she do it casually. There is a big difference. My girlfriend sucking me off is nothing special cause she could do the same with a friend. => not special I lick my girlfriend and i only give oral sex to the person i love. => special

[Intraluminal]

So she doesn't love you?

[Asker]

She loves me but why do you ask?

[Intraluminal]

Because if she's blowing you with love, then how's that different from you eating her with love.

[Asker]

Cause i only lick with love and never casually, i see it as sth completly different than she could ever see it. For her its not sth special to do, it isn't suddenly special because its with me now.

[Intraluminal]

If she loves you, that makes it special to her.

[Asker]

Fact is, i will never know if its special for her or not, the only thing i know is that i won't see it as special.

[Intraluminal]

Well. Good luck. You should drop her so she can find someone who will appreciate her. Clearly you do not.

[Asker]

Not nice of you to say this.

[Intraluminal]

Why not? You don't want, or like sex with her, you don't appreciate her blowjobs, so you *don't* appreciate her. That's not condemnation, just observation. Why hang on to someone you don't appreciate, and will therefore not treat in an appreciative manner, when you can let them go so they can find someone that will appreciate them, and *you* can search for someone that *you* *will* appreciate and enjoy?

[ThisDudeHere]

This is a general symptom that many guys face in a society where women have casual sex. All that's left there for you is to get over it. How you do that, is up to you.

[Asker]

Get over it? Well i indirectly asked how i can do it, so its not really helpful answering my question with sth like that. Andcany advices how to get over it?

[ThisDudeHere]

My point is that there is no advice to be had other than what you come up with because this is a situation without guidelines - everyone has their own feelings. And if I were you, I'd probably just leave her. That's a woman I wouldn't want to be with.