Sexual Relationships
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I never got an orgasm during sex only when I masturbate. Is it his problem or my problem? What are we doing wrong? Tips?

I'm 21 and lost my virginity at 19 with my boyfriend. He's the only guy I ever had sex with. He already had sex with other girls on the past and a thing that always stick on my mind is one time we were having a conversation about sex and his experiences he told me each girl he had sex with had a different reaction when had an orgasm... Well, I never had one while having sex but every time we have sex he always asks me if I cum and I lie and say yes...
I know what an orgasm is because I masturbate like three times a week and I'm just done after feel full satisfied. But not during sex it just doesn't happen and I don't know why...
Plus I read once that it's very hard to make woman cum during sex and I wonder why... What can I do? Or should I tell my boyfriend so we could work on something and make it happen?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • First you should be honest with him so that you can begin working on it together.
    What works for me is for my guy to get me so hot with his fingers and then oral concentrating on my clitoris, which he loves to do. He gets into it so much that I have to make him stop sometimes! By then I'm just like buzzing, he's already given me two or three orgasms doing oral I'm totally on edge by then.

    Once we start penetrative sex it doesn't take a lot for the first one to come. I've found when I get that feeling; it's almost like that "omg I'm gonna pee" feeling you had your first orgasm ever. Once you're getting that or even kind of getting it, start clenching your P. C. Muscles for longer and longer times. You keep doing that and you'll see skyrockets too! Be vocal about what feels good so that he can keep it up!!

    • That sounds awesome and a really nice advice... but he only gived me oral very few times and he kinda sucks at it because it didn't turn me on or anything, so now I just avoid it and jump right to action, and I also don't think he enjoys it that much and probably also knows he's not very good at it...

    • He has to do something to get you really turned on, lots of kissing, attention to your breasts, lots of attention to your clitoris, vulva and surrounding areas with his hands, fingers or tongue. That's half the fun, and half the job getting you really, really turned on!

    • Thank You!!

  • Don't lie. He can't fix the problem if he doesn't know there is one.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Fewer than 25% of women have an orgasm from intercourse alone. It's amazing! Only girls here and Cosmo readers have them from intercourse most of the time.
    Two things to look at: Have your guy become skilled at oral. I honed my skills by reading this.
    www.amazon.com/.../ref=dp_kinw_strp_1
    There are sophisticated hand play routines that can help as well. Here's a Take I wrote.
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10507-four-fingering-turning-foreplay-into-the-main-event
    Once you are brought off or are very close, let him mount up and finish as fast as he wants to. Not like in the movies, but satisfying none the less.

  • Virtually all women can orgasm Through multiple means. This is a performance problem. Not only should you discuss it with him but perhaps you should watch you masturbate and see what pleases you Specifically. Not all women Get off on The same moves. Young guys tend to be cookie cutter in their moves Once it works they stick with it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 10

  • If you figured out what made u orgasm when u masterbate, you can have Ur boyfriend try the same on you ( or u both work on you together). I've seen that work better than just the guy alone.

  • Yeah the whole year I've dated my boyfriend I've cum once during sex and that was because he was rubbing my clit

    • Ooooohhhh

  • Since you lie to him, it's your fault. Don't lie. Teach him what you like and let him improve. If he thinks you're satisfied, he won't improve.

  • Is he going down on you? He needs to pay attention to your clitoris. You take control maybe. Get on top of him and take control

  • Gotta address that with your lad. If he isn't willing to listen/take advice or instructions than he's a selfish lover and you won't like it.

  • I'm a guy but I love seed and the female orgasm most women can't even have an orgasm during intercourse especially ones in their twenties mostly have to come from getting their pussies eaten that's what I just have to do anyway now I've got to go get older having sex with them in a little bit older they, all the time anyway just takes time and communication you know what I'm saying you got to have someone that wants to really listen and really try you can come believe me

  • Your problem

  • If you don't talk to him about it, it's totally your problem. He can't read your mind.

    So yes, you should tell your boyfriend. I had a girlfriend who generally could not climax from intercourse. No problem. I was happy to do whatever it took to make her happy. Sometimes I used a vibrator, sometimes she used her hand while I provided additional stimulation. Best sex ever.

    If your boyfriend is not accommodating then you have to lose him. A guy who cares will be keen to satisfy.

  • Talk to him, tell him to lick your clit or rub it

  • Put some effort in to make yourself feel good. You're primarily responsible for your own experience. If you know how to get yourself off with someone then you can focus on them better.

  • So... do the things you usually do when masturbating while you're having sex.. i e the way you rub your clit and stuff.

    • While masturbating I have to be really concentrate and that takes a while... and during sex I don't feel that relaxed and focus on my self, I just focus on him...

    • try not to focus on him because you have to be pleasured yourself. Just concentrate on getting off and i'm sure you will.

  • It's his problem. He needs to passively kick your ass while performing intercourse with you. He has to get more rough. A lot more.

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