If an intimate partner/gf/bf/husband/wife etc body shamed you called you fat/ ugly or made a rude comment about the size of your penis could you forgive them?
Yes, Easily if they are truly remorseful
Vote A
Yes, But it will take time
Vote B
No, Never
Vote C
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Updates:
+1 y
Just to clarify for those commenting I'm being too sensitive its not about a personal experience. It's a question based on a psychology today article about emotional abuse I read. And I wondered how many people would forgive this type of behavior
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Most Helpful Guys
Mr_SacksXper 3
+1 y
To me the context really matters. If they said it as an obvious joke Id certainly just laugh it off and jab back with something small.
If its during a fight it might be real hurtful but it could just be a heat of the moment kind of thing. It would probably bug me but everyone says dumb shit impulsively.
If it however was consistent and systemic insults even after bringing up it makes me uncomfortable then I feel it says a lot about how that person values you.
That all being said I feel partners should be open and honest when they reach that level of trust. If they bring it up with tact I think its fine to say "Hey your breath kinda smells maybe you should try brushing your tongue sometime" or "Your weight is starting to negatively affect your health maybe we can try to be healthier together"
2100
hellionthesagerebornGuru
+1 y
Well that depends on the context. Saying something critical is not the same as "body shaming". Those are two different things. For instance if you have let yourself go and your significant other points this out, its not meant to make you feel bad its meant to draw attention to a problem. I mean we wouldn't consider it body shaming if you told your spouse/so that they smelled because they haven't bathed in a week. So context really does matter. However if its meant to insult, then I would call them out on it immediately and if the problem persisted then yes I would break up with them because I will not be ridiculed and insulted and made to feel inferior by an emotionally abusive person. However I think the vast majority of the time its not body shaming but an attempt to address an issue.
1000
Most Helpful Girls
bubblybexXper 6
+1 y
i dont think its about forgiving them, rather than about the effect they have on your life and even if your not angry at them or whatever, its still better to remove them because theyre only doing more damage to themself, and to you
1000
Gypsy_xYoda
+1 y
I don't think so. I mean, my boyfriend and I have pretty brutal humour, but we know we're joking. If he ever intentionally and maliciously said something nasty, I don't think I could forgive that.
0000
rgb008Master
+1 y
You have no idea how many people have called me fat. Strangers, family, friends, etc. You can't let shit like that get to you. Grow from it and improve. You can't be this sensitive.
0401
GayHowellMemeGuru
+1 y
Would ask them why they said that and try to find out the reason. I don’t always have this patience but I should. So it depends, but I’m just average and skinny.
It's one thing to hold a conversation about recent change in your partner's everyday life.
It's another to shame her and psychologically hurt her.
However, I am one to believe that everyone makes mistake. Ones insult may not hold much meaning in the heat of the moment and can be forgiven a "few" times.
0000
huckleberryhoundXper 5
+1 y
Probably not, for somebody to have an attitude like that, their opinions or true feelings are hard to modify. Now I'm talking about casually mentioning, or a one time remark, but more of a constant barrage of attacks.
1100
PoliceLivesMatterGuru
+1 y
Well, intimate partners is a little different. A lot of the time, my past relationships were all joking around with each other and just for the fun of it really. Depends on the person and their upbringing. A LOT of people don't take too kindly to disrespect NO MATTER what. I think you shouldn't tolerate it in my opinion. Be strong and stand up for yourself.
0000
BarbieLolaYoda
+1 y
I think forgiving is over rated I don't really forgive
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MyAtlantisExplorer
+1 y
I can forgive, not easily BUT only if a person really regrets it and never does it again.
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Crazyb33Xper 5
+1 y
Yes cause there just saying it to hurt u and make insecure cause if it were true why were they with u
1100
MayBlytheYoda
+1 y
I don't really give two shits its their opinion why should I care
1100
mattmanyahXper 7
+1 y
yes easily without them being remorseful how am I going to know what to improve without critiques even if it said in a rude way
0011
Tony_1693Xper 7
+1 y
People are too fucking sensitive lol.
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alice55Master
+1 y
Yes, easily. A lot of people speak without really think of it so I forget easily.
0000
LeeKenzGuru
+1 y
If they are truly sorry. I've been called those things in a relationship... it hurts. Cuz when you think those things about you and the person you love says them about you it hurts.
0100
VolvagiaYoda
+1 y
ye cuz im a body shamer myself
0000
noesbuenoXper 5
+1 y
No, i would insult them in turn for being an asshole. Then i would forgive them
0100
KurajYoda
+1 y
Forgive? I believe people deserve to be body shamed.
0010
Italiangirl5Xper 5
+1 y
No, absolutely not. It hurts more than a punch
0000
Anon-ymous1Editor
+1 y
The term "body shaming" is ridiculous and is turning a lot of people into knuckle-dragging pansies who are unable or unwilling to make positive changes in their lives. It's pathetic.
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Asker
+1 y
I beg to differ. Body shaming isn't saying look you're obese you should lose weight. That is a fact. It's saying to someone with a normal BMI you're fat. Or saying you're ugly. Or telling a man he isn't sufficiently endowed. Those are opinions. It's saying you're not good enough based on my perception. Should someone make a change based on people's perception? If that were the case people would always be changing themselves to fit someone ideal of perfection.
Anon-ymous1
+1 y
What is "normal" BMI? Here's the thing: What is considered "normal" BMI has changed as the population has gotten fatter.
Asker
+1 y
Fair point. But the essence of what I'm saying is someone who's weight is not a health issue but aesthetically not pleasing to some
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Anon-ymous1
+1 y
Carrots; spinach; 2% milk; whole grains; better sleep; less alcohol and caffeine; more exercise that challenges. It's not hard.
Asker
+1 y
I think you're misunderstanding the question
Asker
+1 y
Notice how the insults were subjective things. I said fat not obese. I focused on looks and penis size as well.
Anon-ymous1
+1 y
No, I'm not misunderstanding it. There's a difference between being mean to someone for something they literally cannot change, like height or penis size or the way their face looks, versus encouraging people to be generally healthy with their weight (which is controllable). Those two are not the same.
Asker
+1 y
I'm confused by your orginal response. If you understood the context of the question then how is the term body shaming ridiculous?
Asker
+1 y
So what you're saying is to tell a person who has a healthy weight to lose weight possibly become underweight is not body shaming. But making comments on height and penis size is?
Anon-ymous1
+1 y
As we both already agreed, what is considered "normal" BMI has expanded over time as people have gotten fatter. A lot of people who would say they are healthy, aren't.
Danielson1987Xper 5
+1 y
I forgive but never forget. People are showing their true colors shaming people. But take the high road and learn from every experience
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macix670Xper 7
+1 y
No. That's not a healthy relationship.
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JuxtaposeMaster
+1 y
It depends on how far she pushes it. If she calls me fat, I'll jiggle all the fat on my body I can and tell her she loves it.
If she tells me I have a small dick I'd show her average penis sizes. If she persisted, I'd suggest anal. Then while doing it I'd say: "feels bigger now doesn't it?"
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Asker
+1 y
😂🤣😂 perfect answer
BronzedAdonisMaster
+1 y
so you want someone to just tell you what you want to hear without being honest?
My weight fluctuates and iv been body shamed in the past, a lot, I have a very complex love-hate relationship with my body but I think you're being over-sensitive and context matters
0010
Asker
+1 y
Please read the update. Not a personal situation. And there is a difference between stating s fact and body shaming
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