Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Do you expect some sexual activity on a first date?

Do you expect some sexual activity on a first date?
A new user posted a question about the expectation that a girl "put out" on a first date. I think that a small percentage of young people expect that but a big majority would think that's a horrible idea. So. . . tell me what YOU believe is appropriate for a first date with you.
At most, it is appropriate to hold hands on a first date!
Vote A
At most, it is appropriate to have a simple kiss (no tongue action) at the end of a first date!
Vote B
At most, it is appropriate to have a passionate (French) kiss on a first date!
Vote C
At most, it is appropriate for a guy to fondle a girl's boobs and. or butt on a first date!
Vote D
At most, it is appropriate to give and receive a hand job on a first date!
Vote E
At most, it is appropriate to give and receive oral sex on a first date!
Vote F
It's appropriate to have PIV sex on a first date!
Vote G
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
@jessielee98 This poll is for you!
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think all of these are "appropriate" if both people are consenting and that is what they want. Now if you are talking about the as-per-normal escalation of dating with the ultimate goal of getting to know one another and form a lasting long-term relationship, the traditional wisdom usually goes that the 1st date is usually open for either a quick PG encounter to find out if it is worth continuing to date or it may lead to a quick kiss. Serious kissing on either 2nd or 3rd date, maybe even a makeout. Then 4th, 5th, 6th, and so on dates is when many modern couples decide it is okay to have sex, about a month to a month and a half into dating. This I feel really gives a fair bit of time to get to know one another and to see if there is any connection beyond the physical/sexual attraction.

    Some people, when the chemistry is right, will fuck on the first date. But then, at that point, each person has to go into it with the knowledge that a deeper connection may never be made. That is fine though, especially if there is a very hot attraction going on and lots of people are open to FWBs if the sex is great (or even not that good if the person just wants some human contact).

  • No, I never expect sexual activity within several weeks, let alone the first date 😅. I think it’s a bad thing to have sex on the first few dates, due to the fact that you haven’t gauged who this person is. The optimal would be to wait around a month of consistent dating to get to know someone before having sex. I think that’s better for both men and women who want an actual relationship.

Most Helpful Girls

  • No. A kiss may be alright if you've been friends beforehand or you've known the person for awhile, but I'm personally put off when a guy--especially one I didn't know at all prior to the date--has any expectations regarding physical contact. First--and even second and third dates--are opportunities to get to know each other on a MENTAL level. I have to know if I like you in other regards before I start pursuing the physical.

  • You really don't know the person well enough. If you go all the way, you might regret it. Hell, you might regret it even if you know them. That's something each person have to decide. Just because you wait, t doesn't mean that he or she will be there or they will stay. It depends on the person I guess. But, you shouldn't jump into bed too quick.

  • If it's a true first date, and we don't really know each other, then I wouldn't expect much physical contact at all. Maybe something like a gentle arm brush or other small, quick touches. Perhaps a peck at the end of the night. I wouldn't expect to hold hands, because for me that's something that comes with more of a real emotional connection.

  • Do A and B consider sexual activity?

    • They are, perhaps, the prelude to a kiss. Clearly, a simple kiss and holding hands is not sexual and, if that is your expectation, I could have just made a "no" option. However, this makes it a little bit more interesting.

    • First day for me is still the “interview stage” so pretty much no sexual activities. If I like you I will show lots of interest by smiling chatting openly, more eye contact. And look forward to meet again. There might be one or two occasions that there maybe hand holding or arm touching.

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What Girls & Guys Said

18 39

  • I think that really depends on the date. I certainly don't expect anything - not even holding hands. I'm generally very reserved on first dates, partially because I don't want to appear obtrusive. However, I also don't have any moral scruples. If I went on a first date with a girl and we would totally hit it off, have lots of fun and great conversations and a feeling of trust and mutual attraction - why not? I might ask if she would like to come home with me and if she did, I'd call myself a lucky bastard.
    But if she's also more the reserved type and the date is nice but not like amazing-nice, I certainly wouldn't expect or pressure her into sex.

    • No moral scruples? Or maybe some but not very many?

    • Okay, well, maybe that was a bad way of putting it. What I meant was... I don't have a moral ideology (say a religious belief) that would prohibit me from engaging in sex on the first date. I don't think there's something "wrong" or "sinful" or "dirty" about it. I just think it's a case-by-case decision. As a secular humanist, my highest goal is to treat my fellow humans with respect and decency. I wouldn't want to be pressured into sex myself, so I won't do it to someone else. But if the mood is right and we both seem to want it, I can't see why not. As for the question whether early sex prevents a stable, long-term relationship, I simply can't tell. I have never been in that situation. But I assume it depends on the couple. I know a guy who met a girl from Japan over the internet. They chatted and emailed for a few months. When they finally met, in real life, they probably had sex right away. Literally two weeks after they met, they got married. One would think that's (cont.)

    • crazy and naive... but they're still married now, 12 years later (they both in their late 40s). So it can work out in some cases.

  • I’d need some kind of physical affection on the first date to see if it feels compatible, so would go the French kiss 😊

  • I'll take what I can get and how well the date goes

  • On a first date, I don't mind hugs and a simple kiss. But not more than that.

    When it starts to turn into a make out session and groping. That's a huge no no for me lol

  • its funny isn't it, when i was younger the only reason i dated was to get laid. so yes back then i did kind of expect it... or at least I hoped for it. Now that im somewhat older i would much rather have a nice date and connect with someone and secure a second/third date hoping for something long term.

    god i sound old :p

    • Kid. . . you are old. . . older than you were 15 years ago and wiser, too. You've learned a few good lessons. Keep it up and, when I retire, you can take my title! :)

  • No sex on the first date for me. If a guy takes issue with that, I'll move on. I'm not limited by my choices. It all depends on chemistry for me. If we're getting along great and it all feels natural, a kiss might be the furthest we go

  • I think that a kiss is the most you should do on your first date. French kiss is fine, but I feel a simple kiss on the lips is the most appropriate.

  • No I have never expected anything sexual on a first date as I never believed with having sex with a total stranger as you never know what they might have. It is better to be safe then sorry.

  • The most I could imagine is like a goodnight cheek kiss. I find that less intimate than holding hands honestly.

    • You mean more intimate

    • @WhiteHelmet99 no.. I mean. less intimate. A kiss on the cheek is less intimate than holding hands.

    • It only lasts a moment light contact on the cheek (a neutral or somewhat accepting gesture) vs hand holding which is a sign of commitment and attraction

    • Show All

  • A short gentle hug, is good. A peck on the cheek but that about as far as I would want a first date to go.

  • I don't like how that the questions are asked/framed.

    If two people mutually have the chemistry and like each another enough to have sex, there's nothing wrong with it.

    • I don't think there is anything wrong with the choices, because YOU get to decide what is appropriate for YOU. You may be interpreting the question to suggest something that I did not say.

  • I mean, I wouldn't EXPECT it on a first date, hell no. If I really liked the girl and she really liked me and things were going really well, would I be into it? Maybe... I wanna feel a connection first, ya know?
    Hey, call me any name you wanna throw at me, but I know what I want in a woman and in a sexual partner and I'm not gunna settle. If I dont feel anything for the girl, sex just isn't in the cards for me.

    I guess my short answer is "Do I expect it? No. But it's kind of a wait and see situation."

    • by the way, "feel a connection" isn't sexist guy code for "She got nice tits" or something lol. I mean an emotional connection... just being clear. lol.

    • I actually interpreted your comment as you intended it, because I have a similar view about the role of sex in a relationship.

  • I'd french kiss a guy if i fancied them but think that is my limit i want to know they like me more me also.

    • *like me for me

  • none at all

  • I can't answer any of those pool options because I don't agree with any. What is appropriate depends on the two people. I personally would never have any form of sex on a first date. Holding hands or kissing is the furthest I'd ever go with a girl on first date

  • I think a first date is a good way to start to get to know someone.
    Last guy wanted more the day we met and I didn't. We still spoke afterwards though, I should have know how it was going to go down hill afterwards.

  • Just a friendly hug on the first date for me. No sex until somewhere between 3rd to 6th. I am not prude, but I am not that easy either. Even 3rd is too soon for some people.

    • So at which date is appropriate to get intimate? More then the 3rd one? If i go out again with this guy I like it be our 3rd date but since we are middle age adult people single, he may expect intimacy on the 3rd date. My 1st and 2nd we both made out but that was it, and we are not like really really strangers, we are kind of Friends.

    • I dont want to act easy either but I dont want him to loose interest in me cause I liek the guy.

  • I don't expect anything on the first date, or the second or the third. I'm never disappointed, but may be pleasantly surprised. I trust that if there is mutual attraction it will all happen at the right time.

  • At MOST a light kiss.

    Anything more than that and you know she's too easy for relationship material.

  • No of course not lol
    That's just unfair to the other. You just started going out

  • Show More (37)

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