What should I do if he's too big and rough for me and the sex is painful?

I've been seeing this guy for a while.. we had sex for the first time last night and it was SUPER painful.
He had the biggest penis I've ever seen and I happen to be very tight as well- so I felt this sharp pain in my vagina throughout the night. We have tried lots of lube and lots of foreplay but still it hurts like hell. He is also super rough that he would bite my nipples extremely hard even though I already told him not to. Lastly, when I give him blowjobs, I always gag like crazy and vomited a lot after he pushed my head hard to deepthroat. I found him too rough and big for me, as I want sex to be a lot more gentile and slow... but I really, really like him and we are a perfect match in terms of personality and lifestyle. I have asked him constantly during sex to be gentler and slower, but he always ends up getting rough and fast again once he got too into it. .. What should I do? :(


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What Guys Said 25

  • If he can't "control" himself to where he doesn't hurt you anymore, then he has no interest in a relationship with you. Plain and simple, you can't say you care for someone and keep on hurting them. My ex wife and I had similar problems and the fact is I had to leave her in the lead while I was on my back. The decision is ultimately yours.

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  • Tell him after the sex is over! He needs to respect what your body is telling him... he sounds like he is selfish bed. The good news is that you can teach him different. Youโ€™re going to need to get used to his penis by using gradually larger toys. As for the rough breast play, just slap him when he bites you.

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  • Tie him up have your fun then explain to him, maybe he unloading frustration and his level of experience on you.

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  • If you can endure pain, then continue, I read somewhere that woman genital will adjust to penis size which she usually encounter with, so its gonna be alright, my advice, do some exercises, longer foreplay, and don't forget to bite his glans penis in case he bite your nipples

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  • You have two choices here.

    1) Find a guy with a smaller dick.
    2) Give up fucking.

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  • We have all have problems but i think you should tell him about the problem and ask if he can do It gently if doesn't listen don't let him have his way. If you still want to be with him go ahead this is only a big problem in a relationship when one spouse doesn't listen, so push him away when he doesn't listen

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  • Don't fuck him. Just date him. He sounds very selfish.

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  • If he cannot control himself now, then he is not showing care and respect for you. Time to unfortunately cut him loose and fine a match that will lasted to your needs and not rip you in half...

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  • You sound young and delicate. Let your body mature and find a more gentile man until you are ready for a tiger.

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  • It's like hulk having sex with Tinkerbell from the sounds of it

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  • Deal with it... At start u will feel pain but after some time u will enjoy it.
    Discuss ur problem and try to solve it.

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  • Your situation is a problem most women whould want to have. But i somehow get the feeling this is right at the start of your sexual experiences because this happends a lot in that time to many people. If i`m correct, then this won`t be a problem when you grow up a bit. If i`m wrong then that`s not a reason to break up with him at all anyway but you 2 can still do other stuff to please yourselfes.

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  • If physically you aren't compatible that's a problem and something to talk about.

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  • U obviously went into elaborate detail either cause u love it or want everyone knoing it also so what u do is keep doin it break urs3lf into it love it cause u do and stip being a xrybaby u want it now and say ur nipples dont get bit bet u want them to when ur streyched tht eay tho huh

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  • If he can't control himself to satisfy your needs, then sex with him isn't going to work

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  • Take lubrications and have dental dam for oral sex... try different positions...

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  • You should better ask him to go slow on you. Pains also occur if you have sex for a long hours.
    How long do you have sex?

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  • Some would already call it rape..

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  • I'm very big as well. Been down this road. PM me if you want some advice.

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  • Tell him to take it down a notch lol

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  • Sound like you not ready for that kind of life

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  • Aww babe talk to him go slowly slowly sex for njoying not for licking. I can understand babe

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  • Sex like together both opinion same then sex the beautiful to both & enjoy

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  • Bite off a chunk. Toss it. Don't let'em sew it back on. That should fix it.

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  • Words of wisdom, it's not about how big it is. It's about how you use it.

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What Girls Said 7

  • He might be a great guy in general, but it seems that he is selfish in bed or he doesn't respect you enough. Maybe tell him you won't have sex with him untill he starts listening to you. I think that's a red flag for this guy, when he doesn't really care that he hurts you.

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  • My boyfriend is 'big' himself and I'll admit it hurts.
    When I asked him to be more gentle he was and didn't complain but if yours doesn't stop being rough I'd just refuse to have sex with him before he's more gentle with you.

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    • How big exactly if I may ask?

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    • And if you were 13 when you had sex, you were raped by definition. Since the age of consent, is 14, in Germany

    • I know but I personally don't see it as rape because we were both consenting.
      Judge me all you want, I don't care :)

  • Lol he sounds dumb as fuck and very selfish. You've already told him to be gentle. He obviously doesn't care about your feelings otherwise he would've tried to be gentle.

    Looks like it won't work out because he wants to be Christian Grey in bed.

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  • I have been "lucky" enough that all my bfs have been well endowed. The lube thing is good but make sure you yourself are really turned on. For first penetration get on top to control it better. You may need a safe word so he knows when to stop. Of course I always find "stop! What the hell are you doing" to be very effective. If he bites your nipples to hard bite his nipples to hard. It sounds like he is doing what ever he wants without thinking about what it feels like for you. Remember you deserve good sex as much as he does.

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  • You have to tell him ab it. Maybe get some extra lube so it would go in easier, and rubbing yourself during takes the attention off. Communicate with him tell him to go slow, better yet take control so you can do what you're comfortable with.

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  • Count yourself lucky lol i havnt had a cock too big in a long time๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ’‹

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    • Omg why? TBH I would rather have someone with a smaller cock tho because big ones hurt like hell!!!

    • Lol make me your boyfriend then :p

  • Talk to him about it

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