Women faking the big O: Guys, how do you feel about this? Ladies, why do you do this?

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It is a fact. A lot of women cannot have orgasm just by intercourse alone. Although there are alternatives. Girl on top works all the time ;)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would know a girl faking because when a girl orgasms her vaginal walls swell up immensely around your penis and throb, you can't fake that! Its an involuntary reaction to a real orgasm. So if there is no swell then she's faking. But, its not rocket science dudes, just be a giver and dont expect her to climax as fast as you, you selfish lover... lol

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    • Thats pretty much how i see it as well and besides if she doesn't get off and i do than give me a min and ill make sure u get what u want haha that hasn't happened to me yet but i honestly woulf love it bc then i get off 2 times and usually the girls get to get off multiple times and not us guys

Most Helpful Girl

  • I usually don't do that. Like.. 99.9% of the time, my orgasms are completely legit.

    Once in a blue moon I might act more into the session than I truly am that particular time because I know my boyfriend is super keen to get me off at least once each time. Even if I let him know that I just don't think it'll happen (because of stress/fatigue and whatnot), he insists on continuing to try and make it happen. So.. I don't feign orgasm but will pretend like I'm closer to climax than I really am. &hey, sometimes an actual orgasm will catch me by surprise, too.

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What Guys Said 200

  • It's the age old issue. Females will just try to give us the excuse that they don't want to "hurt our ego" and all that, but no man ever feels that faking does his ego any service. Then they try to say guts get mad if you tell them they're doing it wrong. I doubt most men get upset if you take his hand and show him and say, "Like this."

    Faking Os is ultimately a woman's lack of courage in communication laced with psychological excuses.

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  • Well, if it were to happen and I knew of it I would most likely feel like I just wasn't good enough in bed or maybe like I had gone about things incorrectly. I would also feel sad for my mate that I couldn't give her the experience of achieving a climax and I would beat myself up about it but, I also would try to work with her to find a way to help her to get the fulfillment that she needs as well by doing research and trying new things. We wouldn't give up. Where there's a will there's a way.

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  • It's a lose-lose situation. First of all you're basically lying to your man who thinks he has been successful in his endeavors. And second of all, since you're not able to communicate normally to your partner that he's not hitting all the right spots, you'll never have an orgasm. Lose lose.

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  • Just plain stupid. TELL me, you're struggling to get there! I want that information. You think you won't cum if I lift you up and play you like a banjo? Alright well challenge accepted, let's find out!

    I refuse to believe the orgasm won't come, and I'll be damned if I'll accept defeat in less than 2 hours!!! Just give me time, we'll blow this little kitty up, mark my words see 😏

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    • But, honestly, if it's someone I don't care about? Knock yourself out, I don't care... Once you cum (or fake cum) I'm not stopping until I do, so buckle up

  • I don't understand why a woman would fake an orgasm. I'm quite capable of following directions, if she tells me what she needs in order to actually orgasm, I will do it!

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    • Sometimes it's just not you. There are many other complicated reasons why. Some girls get off oral after intercourse. That's fine.

  • I don't think anyone has ever faked it. You can feel their body tense up, the contractions, it gets warmer and gooier inside and their face also gives it away. Same with breathing and moaning. Fake moans are usually easy to identify.

    But if it DID happen... I'd be like "if i didn't get you off, let me know so I can fix it". I wouldn't get butthurt by it though. You don't want me to help you get off? That's on you, not me. More than willing to help.

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    • :) yes there are women who fake it. i have faked it in the beginning stages of the relationship. I am not proud of it but I did it... I have my reasons...

  • I'll be honest, I've faked the big O. It's easy to do with a condom. For the same reason I imagine women fake it, I do. So I get it completely. It's probably counter intuitive, but if we're being honest, who really cares. Most people aren't going to be thrilled to hear they suck in bed, and almost always will meet such honesty with aggression or tears. None of which I want to have to deal with, especially when I can avoid both by simply catering to their ego.

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    • And if she always takes the orgasm how are you supposed to make a difference and change something which obviously doesn't work. Your way you can suck forever because you don't even know that you suck. Orgasms and sounds during action are sign that your partner likes what you do and its bad for both of you if that sign is false or misleading.

  • As a guy who values honesty I don't like if my lady fakes orgasm. It's essential that she enjoys it too, her orgasm is as important as mine, it doesn't make me feel more of a man if she fakes it. A couple together can learn what and how to do... As for why women do it? Dunno, insecurities perhaps... For me if my lady has an orgasm I am happy, if she doesn't, we try everything we can to make it happen, if still it's a dud, than... Next time perhaps... Learning takes time.

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  • It's pointless. If you are training your man to think he did a good enough job when he did not, how do you ever expect to be satisfied?

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    • Exactly. It hurts both individuals to fake an orgasm. If a woman wants to feel satisfied then she really needs to communicate. So... if women think they're doing a service by lying then they are horribly mistaken.

  • I would never want a women to fake it, or feel she has to for me. I know (and I think most guys do) that it doesn't always happen (it doesn't for us guys all the time either). I would be more upset to know you've been faking it, rather than it just not happening. However, if there was anything I could do or change to make it happen for you, I'd hope you'd tell me this as well.

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  • Honestly it sucks. I rather her helping me do better for her so we can both enjoy it. Honestly, I don't see why you would do that.

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    • there are many reasons why some women do. some men don't even gaf if she even does. that sucks as well.

    • I mean some men don't even gaf if she even gets off at all. :/ that sucks too

  • If she can fake it convincingly (some younger women I've been with were obviously faking), it can add to the guy's pleasure at the moment, but she should tell him at a calmer moment that she faked it and what he can do to increase the chances of an orgasm for her.

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  • Good to know. 🤗. I would leave the girl on top during intercourse.

    So far all girls seems not faking it, cause i use foreplay, make them wet and fingered them till they cum. Then we can fuck/ or make love.

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  • Scripted fake Os sounds are a turn off. Every woman that I was with had very odd unique special sometimes really cute O sounds so anything faked is an instant limp dick for me.

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  • Don't like it. If I didn't manage to make her cum, then I wanna know and she should tell me which buttons I should press and not fake it which doesn't help hey either

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  • I'd rather she tell me I'm not doing it for her so I can get better. Or even better, tell me what feels good for her to get her there. But I love eating pussy and playing with pussy, so I don't depend on my intercourse skills to get a woman to orgasm.

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  • Every guy hates that crap, but we know women do it to make us feel more confident.

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    • The ultimate sacrifice. Now that’s a selfless act. But it may also mean that she thinks you’re too sensitive to hear the truth

    • Maybe... It usually more just means that she likes you enough to want to try again and hope you will actually losten to her body next time.

    • a man who understands

  • Guys should learn their woman body and needs. Guys should focus on exploring and connect with woman energy.

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    • yes. do not take offense if she doesn't get off. it's not all you. just like a man cannot get off from a 10 minute bj. there are many circumstances why.

  • I don't really care if they fake it or not. As long as I get mine I'm good. If they don't. They are SOL.

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  • The significant problem I see with this is in addition to being dishonest an opportunity to address the situation by communication and experimentation it provides an opening to become passive aggressive and subtle. To endulge in such a tendency is, in my opinion a catalyst for the loss of good character.

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What Girls Said 76

  • I did it at the very start of our sexual relationship. We were both 16, we were both virgins, neither of us had any real experience with that kind of stuff and we were both awkward. I had never really masturbated either so I wasn't even actually sure I could cum, I knew that a lot of women said they couldn't. So, the first couple of times, I was upset but unsurprising that I wasn't having orgasms, I assumed that either I couldn't, or I was doing something wrong. I didn't want to tell him that I wasn't because obviously it was all new to him too and it was still enjoyable and I didn't want to damage his confidence or make him feel bad. So I faked it, partly out of fear something was wrong with me, resignation that it just wasn't gonna work and reluctance to say something to hurt him. I felt that they were pretty good reasons at the time. Obviously, then he actually did make me cum, like on the third time or something and I was like 'holy shit' and had to admit to him that I'd been lying, he was pissed 'cause obviously lying about that is stupid, it's way better to just be honest and constructive and then things improve rapidly, as I found out. So yeah, I know now that faking it is dumb as balls but, back then, I felt that I had a good number of reasons as to why I should and I assume they're similar reasons for other women.

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  • 1. I really really want to O
    2. if it's not going to happen this time and even lube won't prevent chaffing, then why not act out an O to end it IF he's been satisfied but not going to stop when asked?
    Plenty of time to discuss all that later for real.

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    • I feel you ma :)

    • Because you lie. And if he ever finds out it hurts even more. I can accept if my girl isn't in the mood but lying to me to get over with it is just damn cruel.

    • Oh, he finds out later b/c we both want ti to happen = the only way to make it happen is feedback... it worked/works, pal unless the guy is some patsy cry baby

  • I don't do it because I've never felt the need to - if I'm not 100% into it or if I feel it won't happen, I'll let him know. Either it happens or it doesn't. I'd rather be honest and let him know so that he won't keep doing things that obviously do nothing for me. Because that's the sort of hole you're digging for yourself if you fake it, your man will think certain things feel good to you even though they don't. So he won't feel the need to do anything different because he thinks you're already happy with what you're getting.

    From what I can tell, girls fake because:

    - They don't want to hurt their partner's feelings by telling them they're doing something wrong. (But in the long run this is only harmful to the relationship... and if your partner can't take some criticism in bed then their ego is wayyyy too fragile)

    - They're shy about their sexuality and would rather pretend everything is good than have an open discussion about what works and what doesn't (totally understandable since girls get shamed for their sexuality all. the. time.)

    - Sometimes the sex is ok but not like mind-blowingly good so they'd rather get it over with than have a whole discussion about their sex life.

    - Maybe they're used to having bad sex and think that that's just what it's supposed to be like.

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  • I think a lot of women fake it because they are too shy to tell a guy or they don't want to hurt his feelings.

    Also some guys cannot take it. When I was in my early 20's I was dating a guy (late 20's) who literally freaked out when I told him that I wasn't getting there. I wasn't rude about it. Didn't be all "You're awful!" and totally blaming and crap. Just said I was having some trouble and explained it can be difficult for some chicks to orgasm. I told him that certain things he did didn't work for me. Made suggestions. He pretty much threw a temper tantrum and was like "Every girl I've been with has gotten off with me!" And there were some issues with my first serious boyfriend when we first starting having sex (I was a virgin before so it was new territory) and although he was a bit hurt at first he was less of a child about it than the other guy and after a short spazz he decided to actually listen to me. So things got a lot better. But yeah sometimes we get scared off communicating our needs because of idiots like my ex.

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  • Women fake it because they're never taught what it's actually supposed to feel like, only what they are supposed to look like when they're "having one." A lot of women aren't really sure they are having one, and this leads to insecurity on both ends.

    You know the adage that you're not supposed to tell someone you love them for the first time during/ right after climax (for men)? asking a women "did you orgasm" right after a man climaxes is a similar situation. It would kinda hurt if someone said, well I don't or I know... Honestly, It would most likely kill the guys mood. That's why most girls don't speak up, because silence in this situation is better than outright "rejection." Many guys expect validation when they ask her if she got off, and if they don't get it, they react accordingly. It's a biased scenario, where the only "acceptable" answer is really yes.

    If she is honest and says no, its assumed that there's something wrong with the girl , and/or she can be "fixed" in the future. No one likes feeling like their bodies are used to feel like an achievement... that the ability to make her biologically orgasm is more important than focusing on the emotional experience of sex. If men are less concerned with "anatomy" and actual skill and appropriate timing, then they will most likely get genuine feedback. For example, why is the male ego too fragile to handle penis size jokes? Breast size don't make someone better at sex, and neither does penis size. But its completely acceptable for men to prefer certain size breasts but not women to prefer certain size penis?

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    • You're contradicting yourself at the end there. You're saying sizes doesn't matter, but then defending people's right to have bias for size?

    • Do you prefer certain eye colours/ body types? Everyone has preferences. And I’m not saying people limit their pool to just these preferences. But if a friend was trying to hook you up with someone, they’ll take certain things into account. I’m bisexual and prefer women with smaller boobs and i prefer men with average penis. Obviously the second I can’t know until I’m in bed With him. Heaven forbid, that someone can accept that they’re a “normal” guy and not some great
      Porno stud. Worse off, if someone is below average and he ask if he’s big, I have found “no” to be followed by huge insecurities that I don’t want to deal with... and I don’t.

    • I feel you now, well said.

  • I only fake because it takes me a very long time under very specific ways of being touched for me to come and I don’t want to deal with the emotional fall out every time we have sex. Besides, I like the whole experience of sex and the orgasm is just one part of it. I can make myself come any time.

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    • 0 drama I like it

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    • Thanks pinay_ako!

      Also, I already told you oral is overstimulating and doesn’t do much for me. So I’ve answered all your questions, dude.

    • Is your line "actually they do" mean you are more sexually attracted to male gender specific traits? You through me off a bit as you said "because a lot can arouse a person sexually" then mentioned intellect and the such. By saying because straight afterward, it isn't a standalone statement anymore, it now can't be referring to just gender specific traits.

  • I don’t fake orgasms. Faking it doesn’t help anyone. I want him to learn my body and how to make my cum. If he thinks I’m getting off when I’m not, he’s never going to learn.

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  • i don't fake the o because i can't orgasm from insertion (even
    when on top) but i moan/scream when it feels good or painful.

    i make sure to achieve o during foreplay so i can get close to the 2nd o during intercourse.

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    • Depends on the technique I guess

    • I got u!! Close enough to my ex but she could easily have an O after oral O specially on missionary

  • I think pretty much all guys think it’s stupid to fake it rather then just be honest

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  • I only have when I've had sex with the guy when I've been super drunk. If I'm plastered I get whiskey clit bad, and all of my inhibitions go out the window so in the past I have just so I could go to sleep. I don't do it anymore though lol. This was a while ago.

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  • When you fake an orgasm you're only hurting yourself

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    • at the same time, not really. we have other things to do besides sex so we try to just get it over with... this is no bs. just straight up no sugar added truth.

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    • @bbb10 if there is no selling involved, it isn't. especially if it's a personal relationship. prostitution involves money and it is a business. enough already...

    • Actually if you look up the word whore, it doesn't always have to be for monetory exchange.

  • I've only done that once, when a guy was so concerned with whether I was close yet that it stressed me out. He asked me like 4 times. He was just super insecure about it. Like if I didn't have an orgasm after 10 min. He wasn't a real man. I had to stop seeing him.

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  • Omg does girl on top work! In like 90 seconds sometimes. Lol.
    #nofake

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    • yes all the time yeeehhaaa :D it makes you take charge of him. Him underneath helpless and stuff. He loves it

    • Haha, I just like to be able to adjust the speed, angle and where it hits me. I know if he wants out he could toss me like a rag doll.

  • The reason I’ve faked it because it was my last resort. If the guy won’t listen to me about what I like or shit at taking directions, I fake it to be over so I can get the fuck outta there. 😂

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  • Sometimes, try as I can, I can’t.

    My partner has a much shorter fuse than me; we’re talking under 5 minutes.
    I know he likes it when I climax so when I can’t I will just sort of pretend to please him. But most of the time he knows it was too quick for me and he’s too out of it to go for round two.

    Good job I’m like a sex camel.

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    • So - would help you: Foreplay, slow-motion, more interruptions where he can reload his timespan and more oral stimulation - or what else would you need to orgasm?

  • I will do it so he doesn't feel bad and I will also discretely finish myself off when he is asleep. Occasionally it may not be his fault and my head is in the wrong place, again I will fake it so he doesn't feel bad. On the whole this does happen very often.

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  • Girl on top works all the time? I've never finished while riding and when you fake it your really just cheating yourself

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    • I believe this is true! My current girl only has orgasmed while on top.

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    • I don't make a guy finish me if I don't get there, if I have a partner were going to do it multiple times throughout the day, I know I'll get there at least once. I actually enjoy sex itself not just getting off

    • I understand if your only having sex occasionally why you would want to finish every time tho

  • Sometimes you feel bad about telling your SO it ain't happening. Especially if you are one of those who just cannot no matter what during intercourse and your partner is really trying.

    HOWEVER this is not really a excuse. My ex whom was last person I was with knew this and understood my body so I always climaxed before intercourse so there was never expectations which made things much easier. And if I couldnt even climax from foreplay then I would also just say I am not in right headspace. He knew I was just honest so it wasn't a issue but I couldnt help but notice he would look like his ego was hurt when I did say I couldnt.

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    • Your comment sounds so near-reality. I would always wish that the girl gets even more pleasure from sex than me.
      I guess I have a similar issue and I would need to talk with my (nonexistent) Girl about me feelings, my wishes and so forth to find a way with her to deal with it.

  • I️ only do that if the sex is really bad and I️ want him to come fast or if my pussy hurt after round 3 and I️ need to rest

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  • I've done it when I was younger. The guys on here all say that they want the truth, but some guys take it personally. The fact of the matter is the reason for the orgasm gap is that a good chunk of men do not know how to get a woman off. It isn't something their taught and it isn't something they are even told to particularly care about. The female orgasm isn't that elusive, it just takes a bit more effor then the male. And some women can't get there through penetration alone. Faking it only sucks for the faker but I get why some people feel the need to do it.

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