Women faking the big O: Guys, how do you feel about this? Ladies, why do you do this?
What Guys Said 201
It's the age old issue. Females will just try to give us the excuse that they don't want to "hurt our ego" and all that, but no man ever feels that faking does his ego any service. Then they try to say guts get mad if you tell them they're doing it wrong. I doubt most men get upset if you take his hand and show him and say, "Like this."
Faking Os is ultimately a woman's lack of courage in communication laced with psychological excuses.24
It's pointless. If you are training your man to think he did a good enough job when he did not, how do you ever expect to be satisfied?8
Annoyed because it means that's she is essentially encouraging me to do something that is not working then she is going to gradually start being turned off by sex then turn around and blame me for it when in fact its because she was to much of a coward to speak up and just communicate. In the end she loses out because she is encouraging me to do something that is not working for her and I lose out twice because she will be less inclined towards sex and she will turn around and blame me for it when in fact its entirely on her for not communicating. I don't have a vagina, its not my body so I have nothing but her reactions and what she says to guide me on what she does and does not like. Its really annoying and frustrating, not to mention inefficient. I see absolutely no benefit what so ever to do it.6
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I kind of feel like it's only needed for insecure guys. It's pretty well known that women differ when it comes to ease of orgasm and often take longer or require a lot more stimulation in a larger variety of ways. If it doesn't work out every time then it should not make a guy feel like a failure and most women wouldn't present it that way either unless he clearly isn't trying. She should be working with him to give him the best chance of getting her there if he's not quite doing it for her. If that means involving toys, for example, then he should be okay with doing that.
It's worth mentioning that this is not exclusively a problem for females. There can be times where a guy might struggle to get there too and the same things apply in reverse. Guys are more likely to be able to cum but there are still those cases where they might not. We can't fake it as easily so we don't tend to even try.3
It's a lose-lose situation. First of all you're basically lying to your man who thinks he has been successful in his endeavors. And second of all, since you're not able to communicate normally to your partner that he's not hitting all the right spots, you'll never have an orgasm. Lose lose.5
I would know a girl faking because when a girl orgasms her vaginal walls swell up immensely around your penis and throb, you can't fake that! Its an involuntary reaction to a real orgasm. So if there is no swell then she's faking. But, its not rocket science dudes, just be a giver and dont expect her to climax as fast as you, you selfish lover... lol6
Just plain stupid. TELL me, you're struggling to get there! I want that information. You think you won't cum if I lift you up and play you like a banjo? Alright well challenge accepted, let's find out!
I refuse to believe the orgasm won't come, and I'll be damned if I'll accept defeat in less than 2 hours!!! Just give me time, we'll blow this little kitty up, mark my words see 😏4
If she fakes it (but I hope she never does/ or feel the need to).
I would want her to tell me the truth, weather I want to hear it or not, rather than feel lied to and feel like a completely shitty fucker in genral, and unhappy and disappointed with my own preformence.
I want to know/ make her satisfied sexually.
I would want her to tell me how she wants me to do it/ what to do, and I will, or try to at least, otherwise ima keep trying till I found a way to 'hit the spot' so to speak.
Always willing to give as well as recieve.
And I'm also open to try new things/ experiences.
But I doubt my chances, cause no one wants a guy who's almost 20 and still a virgin... sooo... yeah. I have bad luck with females I guess...1
Don't like it. If I didn't manage to make her cum, then I wanna know and she should tell me which buttons I should press and not fake it which doesn't help hey either7
I would never want a women to fake it, or feel she has to for me. I know (and I think most guys do) that it doesn't always happen (it doesn't for us guys all the time either). I would be more upset to know you've been faking it, rather than it just not happening. However, if there was anything I could do or change to make it happen for you, I'd hope you'd tell me this as well.3
I'd rather she tell me I'm not doing it for her so I can get better. Or even better, tell me what feels good for her to get her there. But I love eating pussy and playing with pussy, so I don't depend on my intercourse skills to get a woman to orgasm.1
I'll be honest, I've faked the big O. It's easy to do with a condom. For the same reason I imagine women fake it, I do. So I get it completely. It's probably counter intuitive, but if we're being honest, who really cares. Most people aren't going to be thrilled to hear they suck in bed, and almost always will meet such honesty with aggression or tears. None of which I want to have to deal with, especially when I can avoid both by simply catering to their ego.6
I think it's one of the most self-destructive, counter-productive things they can do. It's like trying to teach a kid to add, and praising her every time she get's it wrong.
Ladies, I think we can all agree that communication is important in a relationship. So, if that's the case, what do you think the effect is of faking an orgasm? It's a lie! You have just lied to your partner about one of the most intimate acts you can share! And when he eventually discovers it, it will COMPLETELY invalidate everything he THINKS he knows about pleasing you. He now has to go back and rethink every time you've had sex and try to figure out if it was an honest response or you faking it. It's saying to him "You're so hopelessly inept that I can't even be bothered to try and teach you how to please me. I'd rather ignore the process, and get it over with." He's also going to start wondering what ELSE you've been lying to him about.4
At times ok, since it gets us climax but we do feel for her.. want her to climax too4
Honestly, I'd prefer they at least tell me if I'm not giving them what they need, so that I can try something different or do something under their direction so they can enjoy it as well.2
Discussed many times. Faking orgasms does no good. You are lying to him which should make you feel bad about yourself. You make him think that he's doing good so he will continue doing even though you are not satisfied with his performance. You will never become satisfied if you don't tell or show him what to do. Communication plays a big role in sex, and finding what works best for both of you is the result from good communication.1
Scripted fake Os sounds are a turn off. Every woman that I was with had very odd unique special sometimes really cute O sounds so anything faked is an instant limp dick for me.3
I don't think anyone has ever faked it. You can feel their body tense up, the contractions, it gets warmer and gooier inside and their face also gives it away. Same with breathing and moaning. Fake moans are usually easy to identify.
But if it DID happen... I'd be like "if i didn't get you off, let me know so I can fix it". I wouldn't get butthurt by it though. You don't want me to help you get off? That's on you, not me. More than willing to help.3
Actually ALL women (minus a few with medical issues) can orgasm by penetration alone if they are stimulated properly, the problem is most people (male and female) don't understand that vaginal orgasm requires mental stimulation as well as physical.
The only reason girl on top seems to work is because the penis can hit the g-spot better and she can grind her clitoris on the pelvic bone. But that isn't a true vaginal orgasm.
When women fake orgasms they are helping to perpetuate this idea that not all women can orgasm and that it's normal. Stop allowing poor sexual partners to believe they are doing a good job when they aren't. Unless you work on making them better, you will always have a mediocre sex life.1
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Only do it when your guy is going through a rough time and needs a confidence boost. Don't do it long term because you're conditioning him to think you like things you don't. You only hurt yourselves.7
In my relationships we've always had an agreement to not fake that. It's ok if it doesn't happen 100% of the time, and I'd rather know the truth.3
I haven't seen this Q. yet. I feel like it is their own puragative to do that if they want. What it tells me is we have no communication. The first time I have sex with a woman it's probably like the heat of the moment thing, not too many words. But I'll make it a point to find out if there was something else I could do for her sexually to assure she achieves orgasm. That's so much better than trying to guess & it's the doorway to being able to talk about anything.1
I want my partner to have fun too. If there's an issue I would want to find a way find things that work.2
I will feel bothered. Just be honest and let me know how to better give you more and better orgasm next time. No need for faking.3
If she can fake it convincingly (some younger women I've been with were obviously faking), it can add to the guy's pleasure at the moment, but she should tell him at a calmer moment that she faked it and what he can do to increase the chances of an orgasm for her.2
I don't understand why a woman would fake an orgasm. I'm quite capable of following directions, if she tells me what she needs in order to actually orgasm, I will do it!5
I wouldn't really approve of her faking, as I would rather get to the bottom of it, and make her truly happy and satisfied.
- This requires honesty and open communication. And truth be not every women know they can orgasm during an intercouse.
From my previous experience, I've had the girl riding on top where she's able to control the paze and depth. That seems to me like the position most females are able to orgasm from if solely intercouse. But everyone are not that easy, where I believe klit stimulation, fellatio, touching/grabbing/spanking, restriction, dildo in her **** etc, even some things combined can really fuel the fire.
- I think women in general should be more open and express themselves about it, rather than faking.2
It's a bad idea for many reasons. First, it is dishonest and can sow distrust in your relationship, especially if it is discovered or suspected. Second, it's bad for the woman! It means that you are not communicating well, which means that you are not being satisfied.
When that happens, you have an even lower desire to be intimate, which continues to create issues in the relationship either from a lack of intimacy, satisfaction, or open communication.
Honestly, the idea of truly satisfying my partner in a way that is specific to her is something that is satisfying for me. Faking just robs both people of something so much better.2
It's bad. I know a lot of them think it's like a nice little white lie but when it's exposed it's really fkn shit. Just don't do it, if it's not going to happen for you then just say so, it's okay.2
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What Girls Said 76
I usually don't do that. Like.. 99.9% of the time, my orgasms are completely legit.
Once in a blue moon I might act more into the session than I truly am that particular time because I know my boyfriend is super keen to get me off at least once each time. Even if I let him know that I just don't think it'll happen (because of stress/fatigue and whatnot), he insists on continuing to try and make it happen. So.. I don't feign orgasm but will pretend like I'm closer to climax than I really am. &hey, sometimes an actual orgasm will catch me by surprise, too.14
I did it at the very start of our sexual relationship. We were both 16, we were both virgins, neither of us had any real experience with that kind of stuff and we were both awkward. I had never really masturbated either so I wasn't even actually sure I could cum, I knew that a lot of women said they couldn't. So, the first couple of times, I was upset but unsurprising that I wasn't having orgasms, I assumed that either I couldn't, or I was doing something wrong. I didn't want to tell him that I wasn't because obviously it was all new to him too and it was still enjoyable and I didn't want to damage his confidence or make him feel bad. So I faked it, partly out of fear something was wrong with me, resignation that it just wasn't gonna work and reluctance to say something to hurt him. I felt that they were pretty good reasons at the time. Obviously, then he actually did make me cum, like on the third time or something and I was like 'holy shit' and had to admit to him that I'd been lying, he was pissed 'cause obviously lying about that is stupid, it's way better to just be honest and constructive and then things improve rapidly, as I found out. So yeah, I know now that faking it is dumb as balls but, back then, I felt that I had a good number of reasons as to why I should and I assume they're similar reasons for other women.6
Sometimes you feel bad about telling your SO it ain't happening. Especially if you are one of those who just cannot no matter what during intercourse and your partner is really trying.
HOWEVER this is not really a excuse. My ex whom was last person I was with knew this and understood my body so I always climaxed before intercourse so there was never expectations which made things much easier. And if I couldnt even climax from foreplay then I would also just say I am not in right headspace. He knew I was just honest so it wasn't a issue but I couldnt help but notice he would look like his ego was hurt when I did say I couldnt.3
I've done it when I was younger. The guys on here all say that they want the truth, but some guys take it personally. The fact of the matter is the reason for the orgasm gap is that a good chunk of men do not know how to get a woman off. It isn't something their taught and it isn't something they are even told to particularly care about. The female orgasm isn't that elusive, it just takes a bit more effor then the male. And some women can't get there through penetration alone. Faking it only sucks for the faker but I get why some people feel the need to do it.5
I think pretty much all guys think it’s stupid to fake it rather then just be honest11
I don't do it because I've never felt the need to - if I'm not 100% into it or if I feel it won't happen, I'll let him know. Either it happens or it doesn't. I'd rather be honest and let him know so that he won't keep doing things that obviously do nothing for me. Because that's the sort of hole you're digging for yourself if you fake it, your man will think certain things feel good to you even though they don't. So he won't feel the need to do anything different because he thinks you're already happy with what you're getting.
From what I can tell, girls fake because:
- They don't want to hurt their partner's feelings by telling them they're doing something wrong. (But in the long run this is only harmful to the relationship... and if your partner can't take some criticism in bed then their ego is wayyyy too fragile)
- They're shy about their sexuality and would rather pretend everything is good than have an open discussion about what works and what doesn't (totally understandable since girls get shamed for their sexuality all. the. time.)
- Sometimes the sex is ok but not like mind-blowingly good so they'd rather get it over with than have a whole discussion about their sex life.
- Maybe they're used to having bad sex and think that that's just what it's supposed to be like.2
I think a lot of women fake it because they are too shy to tell a guy or they don't want to hurt his feelings.
Also some guys cannot take it. When I was in my early 20's I was dating a guy (late 20's) who literally freaked out when I told him that I wasn't getting there. I wasn't rude about it. Didn't be all "You're awful!" and totally blaming and crap. Just said I was having some trouble and explained it can be difficult for some chicks to orgasm. I told him that certain things he did didn't work for me. Made suggestions. He pretty much threw a temper tantrum and was like "Every girl I've been with has gotten off with me!" And there were some issues with my first serious boyfriend when we first starting having sex (I was a virgin before so it was new territory) and although he was a bit hurt at first he was less of a child about it than the other guy and after a short spazz he decided to actually listen to me. So things got a lot better. But yeah sometimes we get scared off communicating our needs because of idiots like my ex.3
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I don’t fake orgasms. Faking it doesn’t help anyone. I want him to learn my body and how to make my cum. If he thinks I’m getting off when I’m not, he’s never going to learn.6
I love sex just as much as my boyfriend does. so it only makes sense that they both get equal enjoyment out of it. I have no reason to lie about it.4
i’ve faked it before bc it wasn’t good & i wanted to get it over with
with my current boyfriend i never had to fake it :)3
Women fake it because they're never taught what it's actually supposed to feel like, only what they are supposed to look like when they're "having one." A lot of women aren't really sure they are having one, and this leads to insecurity on both ends.
You know the adage that you're not supposed to tell someone you love them for the first time during/ right after climax (for men)? asking a women "did you orgasm" right after a man climaxes is a similar situation. It would kinda hurt if someone said, well I don't or I know... Honestly, It would most likely kill the guys mood. That's why most girls don't speak up, because silence in this situation is better than outright "rejection." Many guys expect validation when they ask her if she got off, and if they don't get it, they react accordingly. It's a biased scenario, where the only "acceptable" answer is really yes.
If she is honest and says no, its assumed that there's something wrong with the girl , and/or she can be "fixed" in the future. No one likes feeling like their bodies are used to feel like an achievement... that the ability to make her biologically orgasm is more important than focusing on the emotional experience of sex. If men are less concerned with "anatomy" and actual skill and appropriate timing, then they will most likely get genuine feedback. For example, why is the male ego too fragile to handle penis size jokes? Breast size don't make someone better at sex, and neither does penis size. But its completely acceptable for men to prefer certain size breasts but not women to prefer certain size penis?2
Sometimes, try as I can, I can’t.
My partner has a much shorter fuse than me; we’re talking under 5 minutes.
I know he likes it when I climax so when I can’t I will just sort of pretend to please him. But most of the time he knows it was too quick for me and he’s too out of it to go for round two.
Good job I’m like a sex camel.1
I know every guy wants to believe their woman has never faked it but they have. But that doesn't mean it's because you weren't enough. Sometimes our bodies just won't respond whether it's stress, being tired, etc... And I would think a lot of woman who are getting to tired to let you go on don't want to ruin it for you or want you to think it's your fault. Now some do do it because their guy is not doing the right things but that's the woman's fault for not communicating. And if she does communicate then yes you're not listening or don't care. Gotta love the ones who only care about themselves. Point is you could be a porn star and have a woman fake it. And I guess even if it's not you we could be honest but in my experience guys don't believe you and think they did something wrong.1
I have never done this... I just tell the guy the truth. Its usually due to things other than him.3
I've only done that once, when a guy was so concerned with whether I was close yet that it stressed me out. He asked me like 4 times. He was just super insecure about it. Like if I didn't have an orgasm after 10 min. He wasn't a real man. I had to stop seeing him.1
I only have when I've had sex with the guy when I've been super drunk. If I'm plastered I get whiskey clit bad, and all of my inhibitions go out the window so in the past I have just so I could go to sleep. I don't do it anymore though lol. This was a while ago.2
Doesn't want him to feel bad if he could not give me one, but it is rare for me2
I’ve never faked the big O. I don’t know why anyone would. You’d just be cheating yourself.4
I only fake because it takes me a very long time under very specific ways of being touched for me to come and I don’t want to deal with the emotional fall out every time we have sex. Besides, I like the whole experience of sex and the orgasm is just one part of it. I can make myself come any time.1
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Never faked it, but I'm guessing phone sex operators do.2
Fake it till you make it2
Sometimes it just ain't happening. Nothing personal.2
What does that do for a woman if she not enjoying.3
Never faked it really.
I have in fact interrupted the "act" if I wasn't feeling it and tried to switch positions or just go with oral or digital to turn it up... That really helps put me back in the mood!2
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