How can people assume that sex and love can’t go hand in hand?

[Anonymous]

for several people and some believe they are different things?

Just because sex is a physical act and can't be considered as a emotional act as well. When you are dating not seriously or have friends with benefits or nothing serious between the man and teh women.

Let me explain this is an example. A woman and a guy who end up having sex after lets say 3 dates, they are nto really strangers though, they ahve talked before, text before and know each other for almost 3 years. Neither one tend to get married in the future to anyone, still the woman has feelings.

The guy tells her I hope that after we have sex (this was said before they decided to have sex) you lets say do not start to develop some kind of bond with me. I mean clearly the guy here wants to be with her only for sex and that is all. But this is why I ask the question.

How a guy pretend the lady not to develop some kind of feelings or at least some bond after sex? I mean the girl is not a hooker or a prostitute he is paying to have sex with or seems like he is treating her as one, that he wotn see anymore, it is a lady he knows for some time before deciding to get sex together.. I mean during sex both of their bodies connect each other, there are kisses involved, touching, foreplay , rubbing, skins close to each other, licking, conversations, those are emotions acting at taht moment, physical emotions but those are things how can a man believe that after the deed is done, the lady is so stupid not to develop anything. I mean we dont come or were born with some kind of "emotions/feelings chip" in our head that we can turn off/on after each sex session with someone in order so if I a guy do wants to have feelings or bond with me after sex, I leave the chip on, but if after sex the guy dont want to develop any attachment with the lady the lady set the turn off switch. I mean it is not that easy...

[ohshee]

No I don't care what anybody says after three dates and essay on the 4th date you have sex I don't care if it's making love sex or just straight-up f****** sex there is a bond the moment you touch that person there is a bond at least for me because I want to please that person I want to make it the best sex he's ever had in her life so every little touch Every Little Kiss it will be an emotion behind it there will be a subduction behind it there will be a slow motion of energy just flowing because I want to make her feel like she's never felt before so there is a bond now there is probably 500 billion different types of love and one of them is the love of having sex one of them is the love of satisfying the person that you're with and for me I have two more than like the person that I'm making love to so there's another form of love even being somebody's friend is a form of love.. so now ad. Friendship Bond. sex. making love. Touch. Kiss. Is all form of love the way I see it when making love you have to energy slowly flowing through each other you're going to bond and for me when I feel that and I can look into the other person's eyes I want her to feel it as deep as you can I want her to experience that moment so it all comes together friendship intimacy love lust it doesn't matter it is all form of love and sex together

[TXKen]

So let me see if I've got this right you're no longer a virgin. Even though you asked question after question before going out with the guy again and everyone told you don't expect anything he just wants sex. You decided to ignore everyone's advice and have sex with him anyways.
Even the guy said he was not looking for any type of relationship and now you're surprised he doesn't want any type of a relationship. People like him can separate sex from emotion it was very obvious from everything you said in your other questions that that was the case. Why are you surprised that that's also the reality after having sex?
I knew you were going to end up having sex with him because you kept trying to get someone to justify your belief that he would possibly care about you afterwards and everyone myself included told you don't expect it.

[Asker]

I have not had sex with the guy

[TXKen]

Ok, so you are still thinking about it? Well don't expect him to get feelings. He is obviously not wired that way.

[Asker]

I have not had sex with him and I will never had sex with him, even if he insists and I like him. I will keep him just as a friend.

[TXKen]

Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to be friends much longer

[Asker]

Why he does not want to be friends much longer?

[TXKen]

I'm saying once he finds out sex is off the table he will likely move on.

[Asker]

So If I have sex he will leave and If I dont he will also. Ok I got it

[TXKen]

He might stick around for more sex if you do, but not a relationship. He might stick around if you don't, but also unlikely

[FutureTrunks]

Lol. This is why you shouldn’t have sex with just anybody regardless as to how long you’ve known that person. Men are wired differently than women. Most women have sex with a man believing that after the deed is done, he’d have feelings and want to take things beyond what they already are.. friendship, situationship, friends with benefits, etc. When a guy is having sex... it’s usually not some ritual performed only for the woman that he loves, he’s just horny, bored, curious, etc. This is what a lot of females fail to understand. A man doesn’t have to even know what your name is to have sex with you and technically if they inform you prior to having sex (like your example) that they don’t want you to catch feelings... he isn’t wrong or a bad person. After “the woman” is told what it is and what it ain’t and STILL decides to have sex and catch feelings... what happens afterwards is completely her fault because she was warned.

[LeeKenz]

Some guys don't develop feelings for girls when they have sex, whereas girls do. Because somehow that's what we do.

[TadCurious]

I agree with what I think you're trying to explain in your question details. It is true that sex can be purely physical in some situations. But it's also true that having repeated sex with someone releases hormones and neurotransmitters that promote bonding between the two people. And I also agree with you that sex can be an emotional act along with its physicality. At its best, sex does include love between the two people, and the sex can be a great expression of that love. So I understand that you can't just turn off your feelings.

[sexcrazy123]

it is traditionally seen that love and sex go hand in hand, but i am of the opinion that you can have sex without love as well. i would never go out and pay for sex, but when i have ladies that want sex, and i want sex, then i want sex whether i love them or not. i have not had sex with yet, but even had foreplay and fooled around with a family friend before.

[jay_incharge]

for some people sex is just sex. I've had casual sex and I've had romantic sex

[Asker]

yes probably sex is sex for some but how can you set apart the emotional part in that case, especially like I mention the bodies are together, there are kisses, etc etc and neither the guy or the lady are made with ICE not to develop something anything after it.

[jay_incharge]

you're asking me to explain where sexual neurons and chemicals differentiate from emotional ones? human nature is to reproduce. we eat we sleep we fuck. some people catch feelings some don't there's no rhyme or reason to it.

[Anonymous]

Can i marry you please lol