The dilema these days...
There are only 2 options:
1- If you're not religious, then you should become sexually active between 16-20 years for the sake of your mental health (and have children around 20, again for the sake of you AND your children's mental & physical health). Hopefully you are in a safe & healthy relationship by then - married or not.
2- If you are religious, then I hope you are aware enough of your religion's teachings (and most religions teach this) to know that you are pretty much REQUIRED to marry young in order to save your immortal soul from sin, and to fulfill the goal of marriage, producing children.
So whether religious, or not (which means you are probably left with the option to have modern and scientific thought tendencies), you are required for the sake of your own well-being and best interest to be in a safe and happy monogamous committed relationship where you can be sexually active, and have the resources to have children as soon as you can. There is no in between scenario that could do you any good.
Honestly, I think this whole "dating around trying to get to know each other finding out if you are sexually compatible" B. S. is just an excuse for lame guys who either want to just sleep around, or are too lame/poor/stingy/mentally or physically unhealthy to live happy lives and to commit to a healthy happy relationship.
My only concern is that your question has not come up because some creepy guy is either pressuring or intimidating you to have sex, or has otherwise seduced you into wanting desperately to have sex with him despite your earlier decision to remain a virgin.
Also, be aware, the cool dating around scenes in movies are not based on what happens in real life, and never show any of the "cool and happy" characters contracting sexually transmitted diseases; some that will stay glued to and destroy your future. True, the more partners you have, the higher the risk, but if you're unlucky it could happen even on your first or second partner. Yes, you could get them without having actual intercourse. Read up on it. You could become a social outcast or end up hurting a person you truly love, or even your future children.
The first time one should always remember is to read the Bible if they are wondering if any of that is allowed before marriage. The answer is no. If it's sexual in nature, it is still a sin. It has nothing to do with religion or being a Christian. It's just wrong. It's violating your body, because you're not ready, and you or that person can walk away at any given time. And now you've been touched by another man. People who want's to still believe in that sexual compatibility nonsense are sexually selfish. They do not understand what sex is. And they're having sex without knowing what they are doing. I believe that everybody should be a virgin before getting married. But it's wise to marry young because as you get older, it will get harder. The main reason why people are not waiting anymore is because we have set the bar so high concerning when and what age one should marry. Late 20's and 30's+ is FAR TOO LATE. There are a time and place for everything. However, what one needs to focus on is whether or not they are fit for relationships, marriage, kids or to be having sex at all. Some are called to marriage, others are not, and there are others who choose not to marry. That includes with sex as well. Besides, scientific research has already proven that waiting for marriage to have sex is the safest and wises thing anybody can do if they expect to live longer, have better sex lives, increase in income and be stable.
The only issue is, is FINDING a person who respects your views for the relationship if they expect to get into one with you, or them having the same or similar views and values. Let alone them choosing YOU.
So for 20 years (yes, I'm 20) I intended to remain a virgin until marriage. My reasons were complicated (I wrote a MyTake a couple years ago), but it was rooted in a desire for non lustful and patient love. And sexual trauma. I didn't realize how much was the latter until my boyfriend, when I started exploring sex. I ended up not waiting, and while I wish we had waited longer than we did, I don't think I would wish to wait until marriage because that opens a whole new side to your relationship. It doesn't take over the emotional components, but rather blends with them. I'm not a snob for sexual compatibility and "test driving the car before you buy it" or what have you (and maybe that's because I've been blessed with one very good partner). But there is definitely a deep emotional component to sex with someone you love, and I would have never believed that before having sex. My hope is to still only have one partner for life. But the piece of paper doesn't seem so necessary for that extra connection. And if we can be that much closer before marriage, why not? But to answer your question, my reasons weren't religious at all, but I defined sex as anything, including fingering. Still do, but intercourse is on another level.
I am waiting until marriage. It’s a personal decision.
Here's the thing. I've dated maybe a handful of guys. I may end up in several long term relationships in the future. I may even love several guys throughout my life.
I know love doesn't mean sex, and virginity isn't a special present. But I do want the person I end up with to know that I was committed from the very start. Plus, there's the other positives of knowing I'm clean, can't compare him to past guys (so no random ex drama), can be "molded" into doing it how he likes. People have posed the question, "How do you know if you'll be sexually compatible?" I'm not worried since I already know my body pretty well, down to try anything at least once, know what my sex drive is like, and understand practice makes perfect;)
Also, it helps if both people understand that a sexual relationship is about serving the other person's needs. If you are both serving, then both are taken care of (whether that's sexually, emotionally, etc).
I think it's stupid because I find this uber-holy idolization and glorification of virginity utterly silly. When people go on about how "special" their virginity is, I can only laugh and shake my head. Virginity is not special and I don't understand why people feel that way. Nobody would argue that you should wait until 30 to eat your first piece of chocolate because it's so special that you have to postpone it. Nobody would say that you should wait until 40 to go on a vacation with your best friend. All these things seem strange... but somehow, people make an exception when it comes to sex.
Furthermore, there are also practical reasons why I'm against this idea. Most importantly, I find it very destructive towards the process of calm and thoughtful family planning. The average age for (first) marriage in Western Europe currently lies at 33. However, nobody wants to postpone sex until they're 33. So what happens in fundamentalist christian environments is that girls and guys get married when they're barely out of high school. This, in my opinion, is very problematic because the vast majority of 20-year olds are nowhere near ready to get married. Growing up, I was always outstandingly mature for my age and I definitely wouldn't have been ready for such a thing at age 19 or 20. Your character needs time to form and you need to first get to know yourself before you're ready to marry another person. In addition, it is incredibly naive to think that you can have sex with only one single person for your entire life and be satisfied with that. This is why so many couples who get married very early on end up cheating on each other when they're 40 or 45 and getting divorced.
This whole idea of "no sex before marriage" is based on pretense, tons of naiveté about human biology and life in general and most importantly, lots of self-deception. It's the desperate attempt to forcefully build some kind of unrealistic love life compatible with religious dogma. And as such, the idea is wholly unworthy of a critical, adult mind.
Stay a Virgin... especially for women!
Gonorrhea and syphilis are resistant to Anti-Biotics. The CDC said the following...
The new data (2016) should serve as a warning that "the future of current treatment options may be in jeopardy." Another Article stated that "Incurable gonorrhea may be the next superbug.
Next, the more sexual partners a WOMAN has, the more likely she will divorce! And the data supports this. Divorce rates are too high and women initiate 70% of divorces. Marriage rates are at an all time low. So, for a Man wanting to start a Family, a wife/mother with zero partners is best. A Family with a Father AND Mother together is the best environment for raising children.
For more info...
www.cbsnews.com/.../
www.nbcnews.com/.../#.WNLSQGjytGM
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ine-likely-DIVORCE.html
www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...riage_n_5698440.html
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Sex is important. Whether it's viewed as just a physical activity or being super connected with your partner, good, compatible sex is important. I do appreciate and respect those who keep it till marriage but they run the risk on not being able to know if they'll be sexually compatible until their wedding night.
I've read about some Christian girls being told about their virginity being super important and they built their identity all around being this pure person and when they finally got married, sex didn't feel great. Or not something they were expecting. And now they had the obligation to satisfy their husband who had waited as long as them.
I don't exactly know how to tell what is good sex but I'm sure people have rated sex before. At the end of the day, keep to standards and having sex with people you truly care about and deserve it. Marriage can wait. Being compatible is most important.
If you intend to get married or have kids it makes most sense.
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I feel as though everyone should respect their partners decision, rather than judging them for it. I'm a Christian, and I wouldn't have sex unless I was married. I don't like the idea of sex period and I'm interested in it in the slightest. I'm actually pretty sure I'm asexual, but if I ever found someone I loved and hoped to marry, who wanted sex... I would do it for my partner. Other forms of sexual relations, i. e fingering, count as a form of sex. there's no such thing as loopholes when you're dealing with God.
It is not good. In relationship sex maybe isn't the most important, but it is important. You should know preferences and behavior of your partner before you make decision if you want him for the rest of your life. Religion shouldn't have matter. It's old tradition when girls gets married having 9y. o. When they gets first period. They wasn't have rights and choise becouse virgins were more wanted. Times changes
I say if it's a part of your religion to stay a virgin until marriage and that that is something that you truly value then, try to hold out until you find that person but, if many years have gone by and you still haven't found true love then, do whatever the hell you want. I say this because you are only human and can only put up with being lonely for so long before you crack. Better to die having found some measure of fulfillment than to die alone because you were straining to be perfect and pure. Just my opinion.
Not religious, but I don't think there's anything wrong with premarital sex. It's not immoral, but I also won't judge anyone who does choose to wait. Personally I think it's better to, since sexual intimacy and compatibility can be very important to a healthy and successful relationship.
Better to have premarital sex* is what I meant oops
I'm 30 and still a virgin, and would like to keep it that way until marriage.
I personally think its a good idea as I believe it protects the woman. So many guys now just want in a woman's pants and once they get there they dump her. Waiting saves a lot of tears and broken hearts when it comes to this scenario. Any guy that's willing to wait for you and not have sex is likely interested in the real you, not just your body or what you can offer him. It also goes a long way in preventing STD's.
If waiting were more of a thing, it would also make guys be more "behaved". If sleeping around with whomever anytime you wanted wasn't so condoned there'd be a whole lot less "fuckboys" as they wouldn't be getting what they were wanting, thereby again, protecting women from these sort of guys.
And in terms of your question with Christianity in relation to other sexual acts aside from actual intercourse... no. All forms of sex and sexual acts are considered sinful if they occur outside of your marriage or before marriage.
I agree 💯
@cryscrys1 so do I
I think if that's what you wanna do go for it but the whole "you're a sinner if you do anything" is bs (I'm a Christian). If you believe God created humans, he created ALL organs to go along with us so why not use them when you want?
I think the idea of waiting until marriage for sex is very naive and geared towards oppressing women, because it is women who are shunned for having sex early, not the men.
Sex is a very important part of a relationship and you can't truly know a person until you know how they will treat you in bed or whether they're willing to experiment in certain ways with you.
Not to mention, exploring one's sexuality is very important. You cannot truly know what it is you like or want if you've never tried sex in any other way but with one person.
Humans are not and were not built for monogamous relationships. They certainly were not built for abstaining from sex - it's why hormones make men do stupid things to mate with a female asap.
Anyway, that's just how I see it - naive.
I smell a cuck nearby...
lol, if you do any sexual activity you can't call yourself virgin.
I think it’s fine for those who want to do it. I do see the appeal of waiting but I also don’t judge others for not waiting.
It wasn’t for me but if someone else wants to do it, that’s their right.
Personally though I would find it a bit hypocritical to want to stay a virgin until marriage but be ok with doing other sexual acts.
Having premarital sex. Marriage means and has never meant anything to me. I’m not religious and both my parents and grandparents had no social stigma around premarital relationships, it was kind of considered more or less normal to them.
I think you should stay a virgin until marriage, because doing this makes your spouse very happy that you waited for them. You also have a better chance of not catching something from someone else, or getting pregnant. Plus no guy wants some guy that has been passed around 1-10 times, its very disturbing.
Personally i like the idea of it but truthfully i dont like the practicality of it. Like on a level its not living ur life to the fullest. Personally i wanna give my v card to somebody who i love idc if i marry them but to know that its somebody that means that much to have something so importent is enough who cares about marriage its a peice if paper..
I mean, I didn't , but you do you, I won't judge
I didn't, but some people do. I think your own virginity is a personal definition. Some people believe anything sexual will make you no longer pure, some people think as long as there's no vaginal penetration they are still virgins.
The point of staying a virgin I think was based on no real form of birth control way back when, and unwed mothers weren't accepted at all. In today's society birth control is available everywhere in many forms, and single moms are more common then married ones.
I believe it is really hard but through faith and trust in God to stop us from falling victim to our urges it is possible
Lol you gotta taste the milk before u buy the cow...
Lol. Awesome. You naughty girl.. Do you know guys secrets
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