My boyfriend doesn’t turn me on in bed?

Anonymous
We have been having sex for three years before we started dating and we’ve been living together for one year. Our routine (no matter what time of day) he has me start giving him head and then we have sex.
Sometimes he’ll finish in me and sometimes we’ll do one position and then he has me give him more head until he cums. He doesn’t even try to kiss me or touch me or anything to turn me on too. I’m not satisfied.
I never have the courage to say anything about what I wanted from him in the bed, until I’d start drinking. I would then start telling him that me just giving him head isn’t turning me on and I want more foreplay. The way I would say it made me sound like a bitch and he would start getting in his feelings saying I’m killing his confidence so I eventually stop complaining and dealt with it thinking it would just happen on its own and he world get the picture eventually.
Some times I get what I want too and sex is bomb. But that rarely happens. Other times i’ve told him I need foreplay or he needs to turn me on. we’d end up arguing bc “me giving him head should be a turn on”. Well it’s not anymore. I’m starting to think he likes head more than sex and that’s doesn’t make me feel good mentally.
I use a vibrator from time to time to please myself when I’m alone but I feel like he should be able to please me and vise versa so I won’t need a vibrator. It’s coming down to me having an excuse not to have sex after I give him head because i’m not turned on and he’s not bothered by it bc I still make sure he gets off.
I’m just going to start telling him i’m not turned on to have sex so i’ll just give him head and call it a day. I don't know if he’s being selfish or I am but I’m starting to feel insecure about myself because of this. I really love him but I’m considering cheating or just sticking with the routine until I’m just really over it and move on. Id hate to throw away our years but I don't know what to do. by the way i’m 20 and he’s 21 (We’ve both been with other people before).
My boyfriend doesn’t turn me on in bed?
20
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