My boyfriend doesn’t turn me on in bed?

[Anonymous]

We have been having sex for three years before we started dating and we’ve been living together for one year. Our routine (no matter what time of day) he has me start giving him head and then we have sex.
Sometimes he’ll finish in me and sometimes we’ll do one position and then he has me give him more head until he cums. He doesn’t even try to kiss me or touch me or anything to turn me on too. I’m not satisfied.
I never have the courage to say anything about what I wanted from him in the bed, until I’d start drinking. I would then start telling him that me just giving him head isn’t turning me on and I want more foreplay. The way I would say it made me sound like a bitch and he would start getting in his feelings saying I’m killing his confidence so I eventually stop complaining and dealt with it thinking it would just happen on its own and he world get the picture eventually.
Some times I get what I want too and sex is bomb. But that rarely happens. Other times i’ve told him I need foreplay or he needs to turn me on. we’d end up arguing bc “me giving him head should be a turn on”. Well it’s not anymore. I’m starting to think he likes head more than sex and that’s doesn’t make me feel good mentally.
I use a vibrator from time to time to please myself when I’m alone but I feel like he should be able to please me and vise versa so I won’t need a vibrator. It’s coming down to me having an excuse not to have sex after I give him head because i’m not turned on and he’s not bothered by it bc I still make sure he gets off.
I’m just going to start telling him i’m not turned on to have sex so i’ll just give him head and call it a day. I don't know if he’s being selfish or I am but I’m starting to feel insecure about myself because of this. I really love him but I’m considering cheating or just sticking with the routine until I’m just really over it and move on. Id hate to throw away our years but I don't know what to do. by the way i’m 20 and he’s 21 (We’ve both been with other people before).

[Bippwatt]

Here's what you do. Next time he wants head, tell him to eat you out. If he flips out, ask him why, if he's unwilling to do it to you, why you should do it to him? And if he still resists, tell him that his insistance on doing sex this way is not satisfiying you and that you don't think he can satisfy you. I can almost guarantee you that he'll pretty much be clay in your hand at that point. He'll take that as a challenge to his sexual prowess (which, to be fair, it is!) and will be eager to prove you wrong. You may have to repeat this a few times before he gets the idea. If you're still having trouble, make him a deal. If he can get you off, you'll give him head. Otherwise, no head.

[Cryostatic]

So, don't give him head. Any time he tries to initiate sexual activites of any kind just tell him you're interested, not in the mood, not getting anything out of it. End the relationship if he's not willing to step up and work with you to learn how to please you.

Sex is a two-way street. You're not going to last anyway if nothing changes, you'll just get pissed and leave.

[Xoxocutekitty]

He’s an asshole who feels entitled to head. So where’s yours? Does he ever go down on you? He’s honestly probably likes blowjobs because he’s too lazy to have sex and it feels better than masturbating. Dump his ass and find someone who cares about your sexual pleasure and you as a respectable human being. Try cutting him off for a week, maybe you’ll realise how much happier you are not doing things you don’t want to do

[KDria]

I think you need to sit down with him and make him understand how this is important to you. Be stern and kind at the same time so he can focus more on what you have to say instead of his feelings. Tell him your feelings matter too and sex isn't all about him. Pour your heart out once and if it doesn't change, leave. Cheating is a dumb idea

[Deydey12345]

You guys need to explore outside. Not breakup but just go have sex with others.. The 2 of you, or your sex life is just dead.

Who does he thinks of when you give him head?

[Logorithim]

I sympathize, but what you really have is a communication problem as well as him being unbelievably selfish. You've got to make your wishes known because he may be clueless enough to think you aren't (too dissatisfied). Better to break up with him than to cheat on him, and I wouldn't fault you for dumping him if he doesn't shape up after you make your concerns known. It's not hard for him to pleasure you- all he has to do is put a little effort into it.

[kittycat119]

How do you expect him to know what to do when you don't tell him? And the only time you do is when drunk and in a bitchy way?

[sawno]

Looks like its time you start teaching him with actions rather then with words. Next time take the lead, instead of him guiding you you are going to guide him so he can learn what you want him to do. Guide his hands over your body, guide his face down so he can give you oral. Guide him in different new exciting positions and in case he didn't orgasm inside of you feel free to give him his blowjob. But the next session should be all about you and him learning what you enjoy.

[dizmuhjam]

I didn't read the last brick wall of text, I stopped at him saying "you're breaking my confidence" because I feel like I know where this is going.

Tell him that he should do some research on how to foreplay properly, if he starts his confidence bullshit again simply tell him that he can't just say "you break my confidence" and then expect you to be happy. "If it breaks your confidence, CHANGE SOMETHING"..

Fkn loser boyfriend..

[Intraluminal]

Wow. He's about the worst lover I've ever heard of.

[Heclingybad]

That’s so sad, being sexually unsatisfied or frustrated is a horrible feeling. Seems like you can’t even direct him during sex, like how a guy would direct your head down maybe you can try directing him to touch you more? If not then welcome to the club, I’ve got a pussy and ass mastubater to top me off when my girl just ain’t able to keep going with me. Yeah and I do feel she should be able to satisfy me, but I can go way to long.

[rickbrown6032]

Your seem let him call the shot but remember it your body and your decision too so speak up time you say no I don't like your way of thing I want thing my way or eles

[SifuDoge]

stop giving him anything for a whyle. that should make him step up his game

[iamclueless]

He's being selfish all party's should be satisfied after sex

[cyberfox]

Talk to him and if it doesn't work move on. Sex should be enjoyable by both.

[CubaPirate]

Seems you've let yourselves get into a bit of a rut. You need to ask yourself is your relationship worth a little work, and frank discussions to try and save. Or do you feel it's time to move on and seek the satisfaction you deserve elsewhere!

[Glen68]

My ex was just like your boyfriend and I tried telling her I wanted oral to but she would just get hurt and say her pussy should be enough and it would be the same as always. I just ended things because after 2 years of no change I had enough

[Cannuk22]

Sounds like you need to communicate better. Once you do that see what happens. If it’s still lame maybe you need to move on

[AimCat18]

Opps wrong guy

[innerthighlicker]

I would rock your world baby I would make you explode with my tongue and then even more with my d.. k interested

[sawno]

Dude, she is half your age.

[yamo25000]

Get out of here asshat

[stringbry]

If he is useless in bed then and you want to have a boyfriend who's good at it then just move on. There's plenty of people out there

[D3ST1NY]

Stand up for yourself, just try to

[yamo25000]

That guy's an asshole, and you deserve someone who will actually give you what you want in bed too.

[Anonymous]

If he's filling you mouth with load then that's the problem. His cock's grown use to it.