So just yesterday I lost my virginity to a guy I didn't want to lose it to. We had sex once before but he only put the tip in and that's it. He didn't break my hymen. I met him again yesterday to hang out and cuddle and everything and we ended up having sex again. When we started having sex he pushed so hard inside me i screamed and tried to get away. I told him to just do anal because i didn't want to lose my virginity... He kept telling me everything's ok and I'm ok and I was in pain. I just ended up taking it instead. Once he finished i went to the bathroom and there was blood everywhere. I started to cry and I told him that he wasn't supposed to take my virginity and he told me he thought he took it last time we had sex... He's so dumb. I kept bleeding all night and am still really sore. He didn't comfort me at all and hasn't checked up on me through text. I feel so disgusted and used. I told him to just do anal and he ended up taking something I wanted to give to someone I loved and was married to... It's my fault for going to his place but I told him no. I don't know how I can get over losing my virginity. I was so set on keeping it 'til I was married and giving it to someone I loved, now I can't do that anymore.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm sorry that this happened to you sweetheart, I honestly wish I could give you more light hearted advice, but your best bet is to move on. What happened happened and it can't be changed. What you do is learn from that experience, take things slow. And remember it's not the end of the world. It's okay.2
Most Helpful Girl
Don't feel ashamed, it's ok. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm very sorry this happened to you, you must feel horrible. I had someone hurt me during sex once and it was horrible, because it didn't end in the moment, but for the week after, every step I took I was in pain and reminded of what happened. It caused me to wake up with nightmares for months to come. What that guy did was not ok. He hurt you and did something to you that you didn't want to. You do have basis to report this as a sexual assault.
I don't think virginity is important, and in a couple of years, it won't matter to you who you lost it to. But at the same time, if you define your virginity as vaginal intercourse, then you did not choose this. You did not agree to vaginal intercourse, he just did it. It wasn't your fault.
I hope you find someone to talk to about this, maybe even a counselor. What happened to you is horrible, and it would be completely normal if you feel the need to talk to someone.
Please ignore all the men who are shaming you. They have no empathy and no idea what pain you went through physically and emotionally.1