No, don't give in. Don't ever do anything you don't want to do. You should probably divorce him.
Sexual incompatibility is the number two reason for divorce (money is number one). You have essentially said you are sexually incompatible.
There are two ways you can deal with that. The most common is to get a divorce. A less common, but I know people that do, approach is to let him have girlfriends that can satisfy his needs. That will only work if you are not the jealous type.
I have had two bisexual girlfriends at the same time and our threesomes were fantastic. BUT that is ONLY because the two girls were into each other.
If you are not into girls, then having a threesome will destroy your marriage. He won't be happy about how it went, and you will resent him for coercing you into it. This will end up being a fight that doesn't end until you walk out of divorce court.
In summary here are your options:
(A) Divorce him.
(B) Let him have girlfriends.
(C) Have a threesome, then divorce him.
No matter what others may say, you will end up with one of these. I guarantee it.
He's 100% correct on this. MHO here!
2 things I think.
1) Tell him how you feel about it, that it's not for you. He should respect that and you. To keep pressuring you if he knows this is concerning in my opinion. If it were me and I knew how you felt about it, I would drop it out of respect for you and what you want.
2) Compromise - this would need to come from BOTH of you. So, if you do it, then HE also has to do it with a guy as well so you both get what you want or are happy. It can't be one sided. Again, the respect comes into play. Or he's an extremely selfish person?
I don't think he's an extremely selfish person. I think like a lot of men, his sexual desires sometimes overshadow other people's feelings
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't understand this personally, especially if it's someone you supposedly care for and respect. My sexual desires would NEVER overshadow my partners feelings/wishes if I knew how she felt about it. She would always come first there (and should).
So you get married to the guy thinking that you know all the rules of the marriage.
You both agree and make a promise.
Now he wants to change the rules, this isn't what I would call fair.
Imagine that you are playing a board game with your husband and he is constantly changing the rules. There is no possible way for you to win, now is that fair?
As for giving in to his desires when are you going to draw a line and stop.
I work in a pharmacy and there is a mother that comes in with her 3 yr old son.
Every time they come in he starts demanding that mummy buys him a chocolate. She'll say no and this is when the tantrum starts, he grabs the chocolate and opens it. The mother has no choice but to pay for it, she let's him eat the chocolate bar. The kid wins and now he knows what to do in order to get what he wants.
Moral of the story, don't let your husband be that spoilt little brat.
If he's not satisfied, you shouldn't have to sleep with another woman to make him happy! That's just ridiculous. Especially if you're not attracted to women to begin with. As you said, he wouldn't want to sleep with a man, so why should you be expected to sleep with a woman. Maybe there's something lacking in your sex life, and some counseling would help. You should never agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable, especially at the expense of your marriage. A threesome can be very damaging to relationships if both parties haven't fully discussed all the rules. Even if couples go into a threesome knowing all the rules, there's always the possibility of one or both partners being caught off guard with negative emotions.
Tell him how you feel.
That you get how he's interested in trying that you're not into girls and/or seeing him hookup with women other than yourself so a threesome is a no-go for you. Just remind him that marriage is a two way street, y'know?
I can't think of a middle ground for this kind of situation existing other than both you keeping your sex life to involve just you two. Even if you think of giving him the chance to hook up with another girl 'just once', that's still going out of your comfort zone for his benefit. Ask anyone who's participated in the threesome-lifestyle and they'll tell you right away that'd be the beginning of the end.
So "giving in" shouldn't be what happens. That will lead to resentment. If you don't want to sleep with another woman and he won't sleep with a man, would you be willing to have another women in the room with the two of you and just not have sex with her? Or let her go down on you and you don't have to reciprocate?
Ew no. I really don't want any sexual contact with another woman
So what you are saying is you don't want another women in the room with you, yes?
Yes.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Dangerous territory. It's awesome, but everyone MUST be fully into the idea. Best to find an alternative kink.
Who says you have to agree? You don't and refuse. Also he doesn't give two shits if you are interested in another girl or not. He just wants to be able to fuck to women at the same time.
What?
You don't have to give in to anything. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. He either accepts it or doesn't but he can't make you.
Say no and tell him to respect that. You should never compromise on something like that. When it comes to sex, no one should ever be expected to do something they are not comfortable with.
Why does he get what he wants but you don't?
What do you mean?
i guess you can only suggest another guy if you are not intersted in a woman
or a transexual?
Yeah, a compromise would be to keep it in fantasy but talk about the fantasy with each other. That can be fun in itself. Orrrr, getting a tranny. lol.
Make it extremely clear that the thought of another women for you is just as distasteful as another man is to him. Tell him regardless of what porn in teenage boys like to think, that not all women are bisexual. And that you are no more desirous Of having sex that involves another woman, than he is to have another man. And that you wouldn't ask him of two men knowing That fact.
There is no compromise in this scenario. It's a yes or no. Really, you need to do what you feel is best for you and right for you, not just give into whatever he wants. If he is expecting you to bring in another girl, then why the double standard of you not having another guy? I'm not suggesting you get a guy, just pointing out the double standard and unfairness to you, to expect you to bring in a girl when you don't want to.
Just tell him no.
No compromise unless you’re willing to set what would equate to a long list of disappointments.
have you suggested another guy instead
I said that I don't think he'd be into it
Also, I'm not sure I'm into that either
well your guy just has to respect your wishes then but maybe nothing wrong in you both fantasising about it maybe watching porn together and suck him off while he imagines its a girl onscreen
So what your saying is your husband wants your blessing while he is unfaithful and has sex with another woman? This sounds like a deal breaker issue, there is no way to compromise on this. You only approach this from the "I don't like girls" angle. Are you ok with him having full blown intercourse with another woman WHILE you are watching it happen? I suspect your marriage is going to fail. If sex isn't exclusive and special between only you two than why even be married? It isn't a marriage if he can bring in other sexual mates.
Successful marriages have threesomes all the time. Please don't try to turn this into something it's not
Yeah really? Do you have any numbers on those? What 1 out of every 50 marriages? I'm "SURE" you're the "1". Besides you never answered if you are ok with letting him be in other women and watching.
I agree with Asker. If both parties are okay with having another person join, it isn't a dealbreaker at all
then tell him you are not okay
don't put up with shit u don't want to put up with
he should respect you
he is your husband
Its not all about you. Get your husband what he wants. He will love you so much for it. It also makes him cheating almost an impossibility.
Why would you need to "give in?" You can say no.
if he won't bring another guy, he cannot expect from you to bring another girl. i say u both need to make some compromises for your partner and have an open mind to at least try, or renounce the whole thing.
This!
thanks :)
Try roleplay. Pretend to BE someone else; another woman. Act in a way that's not typically you. It may just be he's looking for variety.
He may also be trying to expand your sexual horizons. Or it may be some form of test. the person you need to be having this conversation with is him, not us.
Dont have a threesome
Suggest a MMF threesome and see how keen he still is.
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