My boyfriend watches porn before he has sex with me. How should I go about this?

[Cyndilee92]

Show beforehand let me just throw this out there that last month I just caught him talking to multiple women setting up arrangements to meet and have sex. What happened on Thanksgiving and then he hasn't gotten on the chat site sense. But now I have been looking at his phone because I don't trust him to not talk to the women and I came to find out that he watches porn consistently and right before he has sex with me. I asked him not to do that because it's insensitive but when I look through his history from his browser I can still see that he's watching it daily sometimes multiple times a day. And he says that he doesn't so he is still lying right to my face. A little background of my relationship: We have been together for 4 years and we have two children together. He has never done anything like this before and neither have I. In fact we have had the perfect relationship that everybody wants. I'm trying to block my mind with all the positive things that he does but it's not working. He just recently started this testosterone that helps him gain weight, so I definitely think this might have something to do with it because that's when this Behavior started. So I asked him to stop taking it but he refuses because he said it was just a stupid mistake. I feel like I'm going crazy, I spend most of my day going through his browsing history, and at this point I am so insecure with myself and I'm afraid that he doesn't want me anymore. So I guess my question is how do I get him to stop watching the porn and want me more. He's setting his expectations for a sex life too high that I can't reach them. Because the women he's looking at are super super skinny, which is weird because he has always said that he's not attracted to those kind of women. I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me too but I think he's bored. Let me know what I should do please or just some insight.#

[Cmasterson]

I'm just wondering why the hell he does this, the whole setting up arrangements like thats someone wanting to commit an act. You should tell him that your relationship is already unhealthy, you want to get it back on track, considering you forgave him for his bullshit cheating ass attitude, the least he could do is put the effort in his relationship if he wants it to last. You should tell him if he has a hard time getting an erection, he doesn't have to watch porn, if he's open to you helping him it could be a lot more fun, he might be embarassed, but sounds to me he's just watching porn to get turned on in order to have sex with you. I know its hard to hear but I mean its two options really and I think he doesn't deserve you. You could love someone, but doesn't sound like he's inlove but also doesn't sound like you're inlove either.

[Cyndilee92]

Thank you. Probably the best advice I've heard so far. This is a fucking nightmare but I'm hoping we can get through it.

[Cmasterson]

Sounds like it, i'm sorry to hear. I definitely know you cannot possibly fix this on your own, even for the children.

[lit_posts_everyday]

Break up with him or retaliate or if you don't want to do that have a serious convo about this problem

[Cyndilee92]

I can't talk to him. He doesn't admit to anything and gets extremely man and tells me I'm trippin and would walk away. Or he acts stupid like what are you talking about? Things are fine between us.

[Yaya121323]

That's where you need to tell him, that's just it, we are not fine and you are too blind to see it, or maybe you simply don't give a fuck anymore and it doesn't make a difference to you if you and I are together anymore! I'm just warning you right now if there is ever a day you come home to find me and our kid and all our stuff gone, don't you dare have the nerve to say that you had no idea and that I never gave you any signs of being unhappy with you. So you either sit down and have a serious conversation with me so we can come to an agreement or solution or we find counseling or simply don't waste my time and be upfront with me and let me know that you don't want to be with me anymore and you rather have different women to fuck everynight and I'll let you do you, just don't get mad when you see me do me!

[DamonGill]

He probably watches porn to last longer for you... I do that for my girlfriend before I go to see her too. In fact she dislikes when I dont, like most young men I don't last long without it 😅

[Cyndilee92]

The length is the same with or without the corn. He doesn't even look me in the eye anymore like he used to when we're having sex which is a big turn-on for him. He even accidentally left a bruise the other day because he was being really rough.

[SnapTsch]

I'm amazed that you find porn to be an issue and not the sex arrangements he has been making

[Cyndilee92]

Oh believe me we, we already had our argument and big fight about the arrangements but I got everything I needed to know from that said my piece and moved on. Well kind of because now I don't trust them and that is throwing a big strain in our relationship. And I don't even have a issue with the porn I have an issue with the fact he watches it and then comes to me right after. He doesn't even masturbate when he watches it he just watches it for fun.

[SnapTsch]

You have a legit concern with the porn, but how can you move on from your husband making arrangements to have sex with other women?

[Cyndilee92]

He never met up with any of them. He tried but I caught him beforehand. We've had a perfect relationship before this and we have a family together in a home, so this just doesn't seem like a good enough reason and a large enough issue to separate over.

[SnapTsch]

The past doesn't matter, everything isn't the same , things have changed. You think you have caught him before hand, how can you guarantee that things aren't still going on, how can you guarantee that not even one of those arrangements has materialized? You realize that he can go incognito and you'll find no trace of his online activities, right?

[Cyndilee92]

She's not the smartest person when it comes to technology but I am I know how to hack into anything and find anything I want and he does not know how to do incognito. Show with what I did find there was no Arrangements in person. I go through history everyday on Chrome through my phone. I am 100% positive he has never had physical contact with another woman, and wanted to

[SnapTsch]

I have been waiting for the next part of this comment

[MarcusBorino]

He is watching porn before sex so he can last longer

[Cyndilee92]

But he has sex the same amount with or without it. Most of the time now he doesn't even look at me when we're having sex he closes his eyes. He's never done that until now.

[Mustafa302]

Breakup...