Why is it so difficult to find a girlfriend?

Question

I am an incel who hates the current sexual landscape and progressivism although instead of wallowing in self pity I am actually trying to better myself and carve out the sort of life I want. I go to the gym six days a week and maintain perfect grades throughout college. I have a 4.0 GPA. I am able to hold down a job and manage my money responsibly. Even so, my luck with women is abysmal to say in the least. Only two girls have ever dated me before and it never worked out. I constantly approach women and am trying desperately to build up my confidence but they still always reject me. I even surprised this one girl at class with flowers and although she was really flattered, she told me that she already had a girlfriend.

This all makes me feel very frustrated and angry at the world. I have no desire to utilize women for my own personal satisfaction nor do I desire to be some kind of player only out for pleasure. All I want out of life is to meet just one woman - one woman - who I am sexually attracted to and compatible with whom would be willing to get married and start a family. If I could only obtain this one goal, then I would be happy in life and not care about whatever happens in the rest of the world.

Why is this so difficult to obtain? I feel like I am accursed, like God is playing some kind of cruel joke upon me. I am even planning on becoming an officer in the Marine Corps just so that I will learn masculine traits and be able to protect my future wife and family. Everything I have ever done and am currently doing is for the benefit of my future wife and family, yet I have no luck at all.

People do not understand what it is like to be an incel. It is like my brain is just wired differently. I do not understand how social interaction works nor do I grasp all of the complex social cues surrounding sex, love, and relationships.

lilaqua · Accepted Answer

Maybe you should stop trying to see women as a prize to be one and something you're entitled to instead of treating them as individuals. I'm under the impression that relationships cannot be forced, meeting people naturally (at work, school, etc.) works out better in the long run but there's always online dating which could work. Considering you're only 21, I wouldn't worry that much, most people that age don't really care much for relationships or at least long term ones so I think you're doing the right thing and focusing on yourself. I think you're probably right that your lack of understanding of social cues may be the culprit to your failure in that realm, you could come off pretty intense for most girls, which might make meeting women rather difficult. If you think you may have some social difficulty (it's entirely normal, I've been there) i'd actually recommend visiting a therapist, you might find that you have mild aspergers or more likely you just need some assistance that they can help you out with. Out of interest, what do you have against the "sexual landscape" and progressivism in general?

bohofox · Accepted Answer

maybe you're just too good for someone? You have this mr. perfect personality that you think girls would like. I don't have the right to judge but I think maybe girls you want to date just don't think they deserve you since you achieved a lot in life? Do you make the first move on girls though? It is possible that there are girls admiring you but you just don't notice.

PoliceLivesMatter · Accepted Answer

Okay, if you don’t try this nothing will work..
Start on the weekend and visit your local busy plaza, mall, or thoroughfare. Then, approach EXACTLY 100 women for their numbers or contact information to hangout or go on a date. You can say whatever you want but the key is to approach and try to talk in a coherent and confident manner. Do this for an entire month, every weekend and mark down each woman you ask until you reach 100. This is the same advice I give to guys who want to hook up with as much women as possible. Online isn’t as optimal a way to go as in person.

zizu9 · Accepted Answer

Honestly I think you're trying too hard, sometimes things don't go the way you want, I understand that you're looking for The one but the chances of achieving that are actually slim, if you want to meet girls I think you should hang out with friends that have friends to work on your interactions with people or use dating apps it's easier and it improves the way you approach women , after all there are plenty fish in the sea, you have to be patient, wear fancy clothes for extra points, mainly don't over think things and you're good to go!

Edwin23 · Answer

Just know your not the only one out there.
I'm am In the exact same position your are in.
It sucks.
I'd honest trade my food, shelter, water for a Fulfilling life with someone who give a fuck about me.

Just keep strong bro, Focus on making money, and doing what you like to do with your spare time.