I'm on the verge of breaking up; Should I just because she won't satisfy my physical needs?

My girl and I have been going out for almost 5 years now.

The issue here is that nothing physical is happening at all. When we are playing around (not having sex or planing to have sex at that moment) and things start to get exiting I would gesture or initiate sexual touching and she would completely turn off or reject me. Every time she's in the mood I will do whatever she wants.

I want her to please me by giving me oral or at least a handjob, I don't really care which, but honestly it really turns me off when she tells me that she will do something then with zero heart and attention comes with her hand (like looking away or at the TV high giving depressing sighs like I'm forcing her to love me or show me any affection). Because of her attitude towards sexually satisfying me, all the time I end up just telling her to forget about it and try not to give her attitude back about how sexually and mentally frustrated I feel. She just plays dumb and does everything she possibly can to evade the situation and any sexual touching towards me. I always have to ask her and pretty much beg her to please me, she will tell me that she doesn't fell like it, or that she is no longer in the mood. I ask her why and she just says that she doesn't fell like it; I can't get past the answer that she always gives me so in the end that's that and there is nothing else I can do.

She seldom gives me oral probably once a year or less. I get handjobs almost as often. Sex happens only when she fells like it which is about once every month or less, and we live together. I have approached her in the past with this situation several times and told her about the issue and she always feels bad about it and she sometimes gives me another half-assed handjob later on that day, but after that day goes by, everything goes back to the way it was and she keeps doing the same thing again and again. I feel very unwanted. Someone please help me with this issue.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Talk is the biggest part of it all. But both have to be open and honest. It isn't easy for a lot of people, especially men, to talk about intimate stuff, feelings and the like. But it gets easier over time.

    Now if you ask if you should dump her just because of the sex. I would argue No, but then again I am not you and can't say how important this is to you.
    If you want to dump her because you are not reaching a proper understanding between you both then I would tend to agree.
    You can try and try, but in the end she needs to meet you half-way when talking about issues. If she doesn't you can try to find out why that is, but in the end you have to know where your breaking point lies... where do you draw the line and give up?
    It is also your life and time and once you are starting to think she is wasting it you should probably move on.

  • I totally understand your situation. My wife gives it up at least once a week but is just giving it up no desire or enthusiasm, no head acts like it gags her. I have been trying everything you will read about to make it better and any result I've gotten has been temporary lasting no more than a week and the arguments that we have to accomplish this one week improvement are getting worse and damaging our relationship. You have to decide on a timeline and a level of improvement and give her an ultimatum hate to say that but I have been married for 9 years and I can see it ending.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you've already tried more times than most men would to talk to her and make things better. She is just unwilling to meet you half way. In this situation I would say it's time to break up and find a woman that's more willing to give you what you want.
    The fact that she's unwilling to even communicate with you why is a bad sign for future issues. If she can't/won't talk about this what else is she going to shut down about?
    Sorry to say it but I think it's time to end things. 😕

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Is she depressed, or having hormonal issues? This should be explored, as they can wreck havoc with a sex life. You've been together for some time, so it seems likely that it's worth looking into these possibilities before deciding to leave.

  • Have you tried any type of counselling? I think that would help in this situation but it could be deeper issues than just not wanting to please you.

  • Maybe ask her what you would need to do to get her more in the mood

  • Show her this post.
    That's what i would do...
    (If i was in a situation like this)