My crush hooked up with someone else the same night I asked her out. Should I still pursue her?

[Anonymous]

I hope I don't get into too much details. One Friday afternoon at work, I asked out my crush (we're both 22) to which she happily agreed. We scheduled our date for Sunday. Friday night we were both invited to a party of our mutual friends. We were both busy socializing and meeting new people. I noticed she was talking to the new guy that we had both met earlier. There was drinking involved so I think you know where this is going (I personally don't drink). A couple hours later I walked into one of the rooms looking for a friend. I saw my crush and the new guy laying on the bed. She was giving him a blowjob... They didn't notice me because they were both drunk. I left the party soon and went back to my apartment. I won't lie... It was really painful. But I let it go because she has the right to do what she wants. To be completely honest, I'm not really interested in her. I am a virgin and to me sex is something highly intimate and something I want to save for the right person. I'm not big on hooking up and/or friends with benefits because I have different values. Is it wrong for me to not want to pursue her? Do you think I should still pursue her? I just don't see how I can have a meaningful relationship with someone who has such different values to me. One of the main reasons I found her attractive was because she seemed on the more solitary, introverted side. But upon finding her blowing a guy who she just met, my heart kind of hurts to be honest. Let me know what you think.

[xav_mar]

If a man wants a woman who doesn’t want him, he cannot win.
His neediness will undermine any possible relationship, and his woman will never be
able to trust him.
If she doesn’t want him, he should immediately cease pursuing her. Attraction cannot be created, it can only be uncovered.

Attraction is there or it is not.
No need to go on dates to test the waters, to see if we like each other, to see if we are compatible. We already know this. Her signals, her responsiveness, her unspoken invitations have already told everything.

[Mortyy]

"To be completely honest, I'm not really interested in her." - You answered your own question, why pursue somebody that you're not interested in?

[Asker]

I need a second opinion. Am I overreacting?

[Mortyy]

I don't think you're overreacting, everyone is entitled to feel what they feel. If you thought perhaps you could have worked out, that by accepting your date she perhaps thought positively of you too then I can understand it that you're hurt that she would completely disregard that intent in a manner that you were pretty likely to find out. In my opinion she's not worth it. Even though their was no commitment, I would hope she would at least offer some level of respect. Which she didn't.

[crazyghoul]

Aw man dude. She ain't worth it. Seems to me she just wants to whore around. Trust me. She ain't worth it

[Asker]

Thanks! I was really hoping it wasn't just in my head.

[IU_092]

Forget about her, she's not worth it.

[Poppykate]

That suck!

[Elizabethds]

Let her go...

[ObliviousJester]

Seriously mate, that sucks.

[ProMoRRom]

If she did that a person she met a few days ago, then I won't tell you she is a worthwhile girl.
Still, let me tell you something with the voice that is called experience, this time is not the same time that was 20 years ago, right now the world is far away of what it is supposed to be. If you know that I mean... Searching someone who is mostly pure in her heart, I would search in a church for people with this aspect.

[Asker]

Bruh I'm an atheist. I don't care if a girl isn't a virgin, I just wants someone who doesn't throw sex around like it's nothing.

[ProMoRRom]

I'm atheist too, and with voice of experience, if people with different religions can take a normal relationship, why would be atheist will change that? Girls from church usually are good girls, just look if they respect yourself. Also a good would respect others about religion, relationships are built with trust and respect. This is the first time that I say this, my bad is atheist and my mom is Catholic, they married like a normal couple, and when the wedding ended, he never came back to a church and she and all her family respected that. I am atheist too and I took normal relationships with girls who belong to a religion. And look for a girl who belongs to a religion was just a way you could start searching someone with that characteristics. It will be difficult to find a good girl at the bar.

[SilverRain92]

She is not a right for you. Stop chasing her and find a more decent girl for yourself.

[Chaddd]

Ya she's not for you my friend, sounds like you might benefit from Christian mingle

[Asker]

I'm an atheist. Don't assume shit.

[Chaddd]

I'm just busting your balls, seriously though I've been there in a way and I can tell you if you want something more meaningful then that girl is out there, don't settle or hope she comes around. i know it hurts but the truth is it isn't meant to be, she wants to drink and be kinda wild not have a serious relationship but there's definitely girls out there with the same mind set. i just wouldn't waste your time

[Asker]

Thanks! I was worried it was just in my head. I think I'm gonna need to let this one go.