Losing virginity to casual sex?

Question

I’m a virgin but i don’t see it as something precious or hugely important and I’d like to lose it to casual sex. Knowing me Im absolutely sure I won’t get attached to whoever I’d do this with (and I do have someone in mind) I’m just worried about how he would react and whether a guy would be up for this? How do guys feel about taking someone’s virginity in this way? How would I ask someone for this and make it completely clear it’s no strings attached? I don’t know this guy very well but we have spoken a few times. I’m really only interested in him physically. Advice?

Answer 1

MlleCake | 8.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

My first time was not special at all. In fact, we would call it rape now. I was in a blackout drunk and on drugs, underage, with a man MUCH MUCH older than me (I think - it could have been several men.)

I can pretty much say that it was not great. But strangely, it was also not a disaster. I don't recommend it though.

I think what a lot of women miss their first time is having a lover who knows how the female body works and can actually help increase pleasure and prevent pain. Even very experienced lovers don't really know how the hymen really works and stuff, and a lot of women have a first time that is boring and painful and wonder why anyone would keep doing it. That sucks. I think it helps if you have a lover who is a little invested in you as a person, and that'ssometimes hard to achieve with a totally casual partner.

But there's no reason you can't get to know this guy enough for a fun romp into your "sexual debut". (I don't always agree with Laci Green, but she has some wisdom about this.)

here are some videos to watch as you plan this. You're welcome to DM me about anatomy and health, and how to make your first time not hurt and be fun.

https://youtu.be/9qFojO8WkpA https://youtu.be/nUjq60Gskkw https://youtu.be/fBQnQTkhsq4

Answer 2

Anonymous

Honestly, if you dont care who and how its from, try someone close to you. I was similiar to you, entire life my mom told me that virginity is like a treasure or something but i didn't see it as a big deal, i wanted to lose it because i wanted to know what and how sex feels and weather i want it to be a big or just a moderate part of my life. So when it came i chose the guy to be my best friend. He was pleasantly surprised to the idea of free sex. It was great, he was very nice and to this day whenever one of us is bored we text each other if you feel like some light quickie and its a very strong friendship

Answer 3

girl2034

Xper 5

You dont need to tell him that you're a virgin. Or if you do, dont make such a big deal about it, and he won't either. He will probably be really flattered. But be careful because you may think you're not the type that gets attached easily but you probably will. Since it was your first time. My advice is, dont give it away to some jerk just because he's hot.

Asker

+1 y
I don’t see myself getting attached to this guy no matter the circumstances but this is great advice thank you! I know him well enough to know he’s not a jerk so that’s a plus, I wouldn’t give it away to someone who treated others badly :) thank you for the advice!!
elswilson199

+1 y
If he asks you though don't lie because you always get caught out

Answer 4

Asker

I don’t see myself getting attached to this guy no matter the circumstances but this is great advice thank you! I know him well enough to know he’s not a jerk so that’s a plus, I wouldn’t give it away to someone who treated others badly :) thank you for the advice!!

Answer 5

elswilson199

If he asks you though don't lie because you always get caught out

Answer 6

SirRexington | 2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Well assholes love exploiting virgins for their vaginas. But it sounds like you'll let them so I don't think you'll have a problem finding one.

But real men will not want to take away something that IS, whether you you think so or not, precious like your virginity.

SirRexington

+1 y
Don't make the and mistake I did.

Answer 7

SirRexington

Don't make the and mistake I did.

Answer 8

fredstir

Xper 2

What is his age and make sure it is someone you can trust ond be open to eachother and the first time are normally a bit stressful but after a few time you now what you want.

Asker

+1 y
we’re both 19, thank you, that’s good advice

Answer 9

Asker

we’re both 19, thank you, that’s good advice

Answer 10

Andrea89

Xper 6

That's exactly what I wanted and I did it with someone I had no feelings with. I told him right as he was about to out it in. He stopped, asked me if I'm sure. I said yes, and he continued. I have no regrets

Asker

+1 y
It’s nice to hear that someone else did it that way and it went well! did it happen spontaneously? I definitely don’t have feelings for this guy so it would most likely be the same situation :)
Andrea89

+1 y
Not really spontaneously. I knew him from high school, but he was older and at that point he was at uni while I was still in high school. He invited me at his place to watch south park, but I knew what he actually wanted lol
Asker

+1 y
that’s great, i’m hoping i’ll be able to do the same with this guy, glad you are happy and have no regrets :)
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Andrea89

+1 y
Good luck! We long as you're sure that's what you want, then you go girl!
Asker

+1 y
Thank you! I’m definitely sure, I think there’s a big taboo around losing your virginity in a way that isn’t “special” or with someone you have a strong connection with and i’ve never really fed into it
Andrea89

+1 y
Exactly. I think it takes from our power and it sets us up for the wrong attitude towards sex. Like we shouldn't enjoy it too much and we should only give it to guys who are special to us. That's fine if it comes from you but not if it's hammered into your mind.
Asker

+1 y
I completely agree, women enjoy sex just as much as men and I think it’s a bit sexist that this view (typically) only surrounds female virginity

Answer 11

Asker

It’s nice to hear that someone else did it that way and it went well! did it happen spontaneously? I definitely don’t have feelings for this guy so it would most likely be the same situation :)

Answer 12

Andrea89

Not really spontaneously. I knew him from high school, but he was older and at that point he was at uni while I was still in high school. He invited me at his place to watch south park, but I knew what he actually wanted lol

Answer 13

Asker

that’s great, i’m hoping i’ll be able to do the same with this guy, glad you are happy and have no regrets :)

Answer 14

Andrea89

Good luck! We long as you're sure that's what you want, then you go girl!

Answer 15

Asker

Thank you! I’m definitely sure, I think there’s a big taboo around losing your virginity in a way that isn’t “special” or with someone you have a strong connection with and i’ve never really fed into it

Answer 16

Andrea89

Exactly. I think it takes from our power and it sets us up for the wrong attitude towards sex. Like we shouldn't enjoy it too much and we should only give it to guys who are special to us. That's fine if it comes from you but not if it's hammered into your mind.

Answer 17

Asker

I completely agree, women enjoy sex just as much as men and I think it’s a bit sexist that this view (typically) only surrounds female virginity

Answer 18

Framboise

Xper 5

I lost my virginity that way except I didn't tell the guy I was virgin (I regret that part). It was a great first time.
I think the best thing is to just tell him and knowing it's your first time, he will probably pay more attention.
Even if it's casual, it can be very good. You just have to know him a little and trust him to make it right.

Answer 19

elswilson199

Xper 5

Easier to do when you're younger because your naive but I think when you are older you have more common sense and general knowledge of the world and should wait because it is something special and something that you can become easily vulnerable from.

Answer 20

Anonymous

I have done it the same way. We first tried to date and it didn't worked out because he only wanted sex and months later I realized I'm not ready for a relationship. So I texted him asking for sex. Literally just texted if he wants sex. And well he didn't mind me being a virgin, a year after we are still friends with benefits, never regreted it and we do date others but both are just so freaking unlucky with finding love that we keep fucking

Opinion Owner

+1 y
Fun thing he is still my first guy 😄 Don't forget protection
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Also after reading the comments. It was still a special moment. Not with love and all but still.
Berethor

+1 y
You are unlucky with finding love, I wonder why, surely not because your choices.

Answer 21

Opinion Owner

Fun thing he is still my first guy 😄 Don't forget protection

Answer 22

Opinion Owner

Also after reading the comments. It was still a special moment. Not with love and all but still.

Answer 23

Berethor

You are unlucky with finding love, I wonder why, surely not because your choices.

Answer 24

Berethor | 9.9K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Really you should worry mostly about yourself, as you are the one who likely to get hurt from this, it's an bad idea to start off your sex life on the wrong foot.

Answer 25

JFilmore

Xper 4

If you're going to lose it don't do it with someone that will blab his big mouth. Discretion is key.

Asker

+1 y
very true, thank you! He’s a pretty reserved guy so I don’t see that being a problem but it’s definitely something i’ll keep in mind.

Answer 26

Asker

very true, thank you! He’s a pretty reserved guy so I don’t see that being a problem but it’s definitely something i’ll keep in mind.

Answer 27

nickyBBB

Yoda

Lol if you wanna be a sl*t sure ain't no one stopping you

Asker

+1 y
well i suppose anyone who would call me a slut for sleeping with one person isn’t really worthy of making me feel
upset. So if i’m labeled that it’s okay with me and it wouldn’t phase me :)
Berethor

+1 y
Casual Sex is an slutty way to lose a virginity, and why would anyone believe you that it was "only" one? when your lose your hymen you lose your proof, and rightfully so.

Answer 28

Asker

well i suppose anyone who would call me a slut for sleeping with one person isn’t really worthy of making me feel
upset. So if i’m labeled that it’s okay with me and it wouldn’t phase me :)

Answer 29

Berethor

Casual Sex is an slutty way to lose a virginity, and why would anyone believe you that it was "only" one? when your lose your hymen you lose your proof, and rightfully so.

Answer 30

-Beonkia | 627 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

Why do you even want to? You don't want to wait for a relationship?

Asker

+1 y
honestly I’m not really interested in waiting for a relationship cause that’s not something I want at the moment, but I do have a high sex drive and want to lose it for myself
-Beonkia

+1 y
Why say lose like it's a materialistic thing?
Asker

+1 y
I suppose just cause that’s the words that are usually used to describe having sex for the first time haha not sure what else i would say
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-Beonkia

+1 y
I would word it as giving it up. Not losing it. It sounds weird that way
fredstir

+1 y
You can always use toys to pleasure tour sex drive till you find the right peron and not regret something
Asker

+1 y
ahaha ok, either way, same information applies :)
Asker

+1 y
I have used toys for a while but at this point I don’t think it would be something i’ll regret at all
fredstir

+1 y
And you will always remember the first one you have done it with a special moment but good luck and you can pm me for more info or questions
Asker

+1 y
thank you!
Berethor

+1 y
@-Beonkia she seems to had been waiting only because legal reasons and not because of high morals, which she clearly don't have, if she want to lose it in such a way.
Asker

+1 y
don’t believe there’s laws against minors having sex with minors so even if i had lost my virginity underage it has nothing to do with legal issues. also, it’s interesting to bring morality into this conversation as it’s still quite controversial whether moral absolutism or moral relativism is the right way to view what someone may see as moral decisions.

Answer 31

Asker

honestly I’m not really interested in waiting for a relationship cause that’s not something I want at the moment, but I do have a high sex drive and want to lose it for myself

Answer 32

-Beonkia

Why say lose like it's a materialistic thing?

Answer 33

Asker

I suppose just cause that’s the words that are usually used to describe having sex for the first time haha not sure what else i would say

Answer 34

-Beonkia

I would word it as giving it up. Not losing it. It sounds weird that way

Answer 35

fredstir

You can always use toys to pleasure tour sex drive till you find the right peron and not regret something

Answer 36

Asker

ahaha ok, either way, same information applies :)

Answer 37

Asker

I have used toys for a while but at this point I don’t think it would be something i’ll regret at all

Answer 38

fredstir

And you will always remember the first one you have done it with a special moment but good luck and you can pm me for more info or questions

Answer 39

Asker

thank you!

Answer 40

Berethor

@-Beonkia she seems to had been waiting only because legal reasons and not because of high morals, which she clearly don't have, if she want to lose it in such a way.

Answer 41

Asker

don’t believe there’s laws against minors having sex with minors so even if i had lost my virginity underage it has nothing to do with legal issues. also, it’s interesting to bring morality into this conversation as it’s still quite controversial whether moral absolutism or moral relativism is the right way to view what someone may see as moral decisions.

Answer 42

Amodkmishra

Xper 2

if you don't know him very well.. it's not a great idea to hv sex.
in case he can cheat on you.
but losing verginity is not such a sin as people think

Berethor

+1 y
He would use her, but it would not be with a cheating, as it's an casual sex.

Answer 43

Berethor

He would use her, but it would not be with a cheating, as it's an casual sex.

Answer 44

Anonymous

Omg, I like you. I think you have to talk to the guy and go for it

Asker

+1 y
hahaha thank you! I’m thinking I will, just not sure how to approach it xx

Answer 45

Asker

hahaha thank you! I’m thinking I will, just not sure how to approach it xx

Answer 46

false | 411 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

too bad you're a pink anon cause that sounds too good to be true

Berethor

+1 y
If you read the female comments, she not the only one who like that kind of shit.
false

+1 y
yeah i bet there are plenty more so ill just makebit known through typing this comment

Answer 47

Berethor

If you read the female comments, she not the only one who like that kind of shit.

Answer 48

false

yeah i bet there are plenty more so ill just makebit known through typing this comment

Answer 49

Galen01 | 308 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Tell him what you want, as long as you make sure he understands what your looking for you should be fine.

Answer 50

ILikeToParty

Xper 5

Don’t go down the route I did. Save sex til marriage. Highly overrated to have sex outside marriage. You should date only to marry honestly.

kaskas19

+1 y
I don't think you should be telling people what they should and shouldn't do with their lives. If she wants to do something and she's completley sure of it, let her. She doesn't HAVE to do anything.
ILikeToParty

+1 y
You can take the advice or leave it. Not forcing anyone to do what I say.

Answer 51

kaskas19

I don't think you should be telling people what they should and shouldn't do with their lives. If she wants to do something and she's completley sure of it, let her. She doesn't HAVE to do anything.

Answer 52

ILikeToParty

You can take the advice or leave it. Not forcing anyone to do what I say.

Answer 53

saunification

Xper 1

Why do u wanna lose it?

Asker

+1 y
I have had a high sex drive most of my life and never really saw losing your virginity as a huge milestone or a precious moment, I’m just interested in having sex and figure the fact that i’m a virgin shouldn’t stop me
saunification

+1 y
Honestly I think u should ask him
Asker

+1 y
i might, haha thank you!

Answer 54

Asker

I have had a high sex drive most of my life and never really saw losing your virginity as a huge milestone or a precious moment, I’m just interested in having sex and figure the fact that i’m a virgin shouldn’t stop me

Answer 55

saunification

Honestly I think u should ask him

Answer 56

Asker

i might, haha thank you!

Answer 57

MMarina | 106 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Wear a condom

Answer 58

Retief | 80 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Use protection

Asker

+1 y
of course

Answer 59

Asker

of course

Answer 60

Anonymous

It does not matter i lost mine with casual sex

Losing virginity to casual sex?

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