Sexual Relationships
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Why do guys say they want their S/O to have a higher sex drive yet when it happens they can't handle it?

This was my husbands main complaint last year.
Now he has the wife😍 that he's been wanting for these years and he doesn't know how to handle it.
I'm fine with him saying no but I'll have to admit that it's frustrating at times and it's not like he doesn't want to, he just can't.
Why do guys say they want their S/O to have a higher sex drive yet when it happens they can't handle it??
Why do guys say they want their S/O to have a higher sex drive yet when it happens they can't handle it??
0 5

Most Helpful Guys

  • When I was married never said no to my ex-wife. Only ever;

    'YES PLEASE'

    I see it as part of a married to do everything to please. You feel oneness in mind, heart and being. The culmination is the yearn to be one in body

    As a result, you resemble jackrabbits

    The other aspect is words mean little, only actions. If you talk a good game but are all 'show and no blow'- you look like a tool

    • one head says yes and other one refuses to comply.

    • never had that issue. complete sex crave deviant that had both heads vibed to go

  • I'm guessing that they think it sounds great but never really thought about the fact that it might mean she wants it when they are tired or just don't want it for some reason and then they're going to feel pressure. They probably never considered that because when they weren't getting enough, they thought an unlimited amount sounded great.

    • I ask my husband nearly every night.

    • A lot of guys probably think that sounds great. One of my thoughts when I read your comment was that I wish my ex-wife had been more like that. But the reality is that almost every night probably starts to feel like too much - especially if you're wanting a long sensuous session and not just a quickie. Also, how old is he? I think for some guys their libido starts declining in their 40s or even earlier (I think I read somewhere that men peak at 19 sexually and women not until their mid- to late-20s), so especially if he's older than you are it could be that he's just not feeling it as often as he used to. Stress from a job, family, or financial things can also interfere with a guy's desire. I've been in a situation similar to yours so I know how frustrating it is to have a lot of desire when your partner doesn't so I hope you can reach some mutually satisfactory compromise that keeps you feeling satisfied while not overburdening him.

    • Feel free to send me a private message if you'd like to discuss more about this and possible strategies you can try. I tried a lot of different things. Some worked at least partially. Others didn't. I definitely sympathize with your situation.

Most Helpful Girls

  • maybe they imagine its safer to overshoot a bit bc itll mean she's up for it whenever he is but she won't bother him when she wants it, then they are dismayed that she also wants it when she wants it.

  • I have a much higher sex drive than my husband. I've basically had to come up with ways to tease him and get him going when I want it.

  • I wish I knew the answer. I have the same problem. I don’t like it one bit.

    • What's the question? Sounds like vanilla sex. There are so many many many ways to light a fire. Have you tried different things? If you dont want to answer here you may message me.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I've personally never been able to turn it down. Even if I was unable to get it up after too many sessions or whatever, I'd still always at least offer to go down on her or use a couple fingers.

  • Make sure he is in good shape I guess. The only time I will turn down sex is if I’m at the worst part of having a flu when you just need to sleep. I feel it’s my duty to always deliver!!!

    • He is a bit on the unfit side ATM, I'm doing my best to encourage him to get a bit of exercise.

  • I have a high sex drive, and I've always felt that I wanted a girl with a higher sex drive, then I met my ex who in fact did have a higher sex drive. What we really want is someone with the same sex drive, that's what we really mean when we say we want a higher one. Its like being hungry, and our eyes are bigger than our stomach, so we order extra food and come to realize that we weren't nearly as hungry as we thought we were.

  • Have him see his doctor about some ED drugs (Viagra, Levitra) those pills are like magic.

    • he doesn't need Viagra it's more because he is tired due to being unfit.

    • Never heard of that, he must be seriously 'unfit'.

  • Its a sort of "eyes bigger than your stomach" situation. My girlfriend has a slightly higher sex drive than me which is fine because usually if im not in the mood, it doesn't take much to get me there. So neither of us is completely horny while the other isn't

  • Now you know how he felt ;)

    • it's not that he doesn't want to. it's like wanting to eat the last donut but your mouth just won't open for it. his head says but body says NO.

    • It happens. He can work out. Eat healthier There's a few diet tricks I've been told help. Maybe try something freaky and unexpected in bed? Lol

  • Sounds like you're over generalising.
    He complained he wanted more sex when he presumably felt he wasn't getting enough, now the boots on the other foot and you're complaining.
    Maybe you'll eventually find a happy medium.

    • I really hope so. My low drive was caused by low self-esteem within our marriage. It really was an easy fix he just had to change the way that he treated me and I had to think more positively about our marriage. He's just gotten really unfit over the past few months which is making him tired and I've been trying to encourage him to change that.

  • I wouldn't want to date a girl whose sex drive is severely mismatched from mine in either direction.

  • LOL! Where is she? Because I'm fine with that. If I can't keep up, I know guys who are willing to lend a hand... ;)

  • Because men don't usually mean they want a girl with high sex drive. What they mean is they want a girl who will never say no to sex

    • exactly.

    • well I haven't said no in a while now 👍.

  • Personally my sex drive is high. I know girls who have high sex drive, and I don't think they think about sex as much as me. I don't think I'd say no to sex, keeping in mind it's my girlfriend that I'm really attracted to.

  • I'm one of these guys actually. It is because i don't believe it until i see it or experience it and I'm a virgin. Does that make any sense 🤔?

  • Has he kickstarted his healthy living plan? I know that physical fitness not only helps with esteem and the body's ability to respond when required, but it also helps with testosterone...

    • Haha nope I'm going to have to enforce his fitness regime.

    • Do it! Fitness will be his friend... and yours, in the long run

  • Most guys want that but due to age stress or side effects with medications, the water doesn't flow downstream as well as we would like it to

  • I don't know about other guys but I can handle what ever. I would like to get it once a day, or at least once every two days.

  • Because they have had women in the past that couldn't keep up with their sex drive. My ex wife used to complain to her friends saying things like "Can't a girl even get some sleep?"

    • I wish I could complain about a lack of sleep.

    • :) you might have that problem if you were with someone like me

    • I guess I'm a bit different

    • Show All

  • I don’t care about it. Not yet, anyway.

  • I have also experienced the opposite with some women. They think they have a have sex drive or they are kinky. Come to find out. NOT!!! lol. I don't consider myself a selfish lover. I think I am very giving. I love giving oral, making out and foreplay. So I can understand your frustration. I guess when it comes to some people. Sex, much like food. Their eyes are bigger than their appetite. lol.

  • So they won’t be the one complaining about not getting any but apparently to much of anything is not always a good thing

  • Age is a father clock

  • Show More (15)

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