Guys, Would you have sex with an married woman?

[LanaTrix]

[nightdrot]

Actually, I did have sex with a married woman. In fact, I had an affair with a married woman. I am not proud of it and regret it to this day.

By the way, I don't place the blame on her. At that point, their marriage was not going well. I started as the shoulder to cry on and it became something more.

She had been married about four years and I think, in retrospect, it was just a matter of those early marriage adjustments. Still, she was upset. I found her attractive and really just started as the shoulder to cry on, but eventually it went from listening, to how about dinner, to why not come by my house for a while, to hugging and holding to kissing to sex. In retrospect it was like dominoes going down.

The problem for me was, I really liked her, felt protective of her, and even though I knew I was wrong - and how I would feel if I were in her husband's place - I could not bring myself to call it off.

You can probably tell how this went. I got her pregnant. I desperately wanted her to have the baby. She said no and had an abortion without telling me.

It ended badly, but we did care about each other. Suffice to say, your question has brought back some memories.

As an aside, I have not been in touch with her for years, but I do know that they managed to save their marriage. Though whether it is happy or not I have no way of knowing.

For my part, I had a happier ending that I deserved. I have lived with my girlfriend now for about ten years and have three beautiful children together.

[LanaTrix]

Did the husband know?

[nightdrot]

If you mean the affair, no, although she told me that he had suspicions from time to time. I met him a few times, but we were not social friends. I knew her through work. As to the abortion, she had that entirely on her own and never told her husband that she was pregnant. To add to all this, she was African-American (as was her husband) and I am white. I wanted her to keep the baby, but at the end of the day, that clearly would have ended the marriage - she could not say the baby was his - and she decided she could not do it.

[LanaTrix]

How long did it go for and why did you want her to keep the baby?

[nightdrot]

It was just shy of a year and a half as I remember it. As to the baby, honestly, I was young and my mind skipped ahead. In my mind, I was already playing with my son/daughter in the backyard. It was not that I didn't realize the implications for her marriage, but I pictured us together with our new little baby. To me - at the time - the baby was the signal that she and I were meant to be a family. Yeah, I know, it was utterly unrealistic. My plea is that I was 26 - just turned - when she got pregnant and I had a good job and I could take care of them. The reality set in when she came to me and said that she had an abortion. Suddenly I was no longer a father, but I was the other guy. It hurt - a LOT!! I went through a really bad patch after that.

[LanaTrix]

I see. She seems like she messed up both of you.

[nightdrot]

No, I don't blame her. I should have been more careful. It is not like I didn't know she was married. Plus, it was grand of me to plan, in effect, her life. "Hey, we're gonna have a baby!! You divorce your husband and we'll move in together and you'll have the baby and I'll take care of you and..." At the end of the day, I do have a moral issue with abortion and wish she had thought about that aspect of it. However, for me at the time, all I could see was the baby and the white picket fence. Truthfully, I should have been more careful about her marriage. All I can say is that I had fallen in love. Whether it was just a male protecting the vulnerable woman or what - she had a great sense of humor, an amazing laugh, beautiful eyes - the fact that she was married and needed help and not a lover should have been uppermost. The only other thing about the pregnancy is that I wish I could have thought of a way for her to have the baby. I messed up, not her.

[LanaTrix]

She was married. Pretty direspectfull to an man too i think to go behind his back like this. I see her as much worse in my opinion.

[nightdrot]

Well, she is not guilt free. However, her marriage was not good at that point. (Grant that an affair would not make things better.) She started confiding in me and I should have been the one to draw lines. Besides, as I say, she managed to save her marriage and for all I know is still married and living happily ever after. Bottom line, I was the "friend" who should have kept his pants on. She was the emotionally vulnerable person who came to me for help - not an affair and sex.

[LanaTrix]

If that helps you sleep at night. I don't think she was marriage material from the start in my opinion.

[nightdrot]

Your kind, but she is still married last I heard. As for me, it still hurts, I won't lie. However, I got really lucky. I met a gal, whom I have lived with now for over ten years - we are not married and don't want to be - and we have three wonderful kids. I am totally head over heels in love and I realize that I got far better than I deserved. It keeps me centered to know how lucky I got. Still, thanks for the kind thought.

[nightdrot]

P. S. First line should read "You're kind." Also a question, what does the Zz mean on your question?

[LanaTrix]

Lool nothing. It was a mistake.

[nightdrot]

Okay - and thanks for your kind words. Have to admit, your question brought back some painful memories.

[LanaTrix]

Oh thanks and sorry to hear that

[bobbyp]

If I new the guy was a real piece of shit and didn't take care of his family I would tear that ass up. But if he was a great husband an dad then no I wouldn't

[random56286]

I would. I was married to her at the time. Technically still am and we still don't now either.

[JustinAnOmAlY]

I wouldn't...

[SmoMan71]

I don’t see why not. As long as her husband/wife was okay with it.

[Alessus]

Nope, unless she was married to me, of course.

[JimRSmith]

Absolutely not, no.

Unless I'm the one married to her. I'm not some immoral home wrecking fucker.

[Buckzor]

If I'm not married to her no. I'm not going to be apart of cheating, if she wanted sex she would need to divorce.

[passinby]

Yes they are easy and extra heated up

[TadCurious]

Absolutely not.

[kmsdoggo]

Yes. If she’s giving it up of course. Your question also doesn’t tell us if she’s OUR wife

[Dargil]

Married to me. Yes.