Errectile dysfunction problem but guy won’t seek help or admit problem?

[mander4]

So. I started seeing a guy and he can not sexually preform like not once but never we have tried for like 2 month and everytime he is only like half-erect and is delusional to think things are physically ready for sex. He has no clue if he isn’t penetrating at all. It doesn’t stop him from trying so much and I am feeling second hand embarrassment for this guy... I keep telling him that things are not going to work ( because from past partners I know better and I know how to get all my former partners off and to get things to work) and he just seems clueless and I can’t get it across to him that he might need some medical help. He claims that nobody else ever had problems before and that he has had sex with loads and loads of girls. Also he can not even fit a condom on all, not even a magnum... which I know fits more blessed men than him just fine. He can’t get any condom on properly... claiming they don’t fit bc he is big, like it’s so beyond awkward that he acts he has never had sex before. But he is late twenties. Because the attempt at sex are so awful and miserable for me and I don’t have the heart tell him he sucks in bed and no way I want risk have “sex” without a confirm so I just do other sexual things but he takes like a fricken hour to get off if ever, and when I tell him I bored or tried out he says that no girl wants a guy who finishes in less than a hour. Which I disagree and I’m so frustrated and bored with all the effort because sometimes I want action too and I can’t get my physical needs met. And he wants a relationship but I can’t see myself happy with somebody who can’t preform or get off most the time? Is that beyond selfish? I know he had a huge coke and heroine addiction for years in the past and claims he clean... but when I research this it’s said that drug addiction causes erectile dysfunction. But I don’t want to accuse of using again because he keeps so angry.

[Teapotato]

I don't believe that a relationship can survive if you're not getting your physical needs met. He refuses to acknowledge the problem, and claims that "no girl wants a guy who finishes in less than an hour", despite you telling him that this isn't what you personally want.

Sit him down, tell him these concerns, and ask him if he's willing to see a doctor for help with this. If he does not respond positively, then leave him.

Is he currently taking any drugs, prescribed or otherwise? I was prescribed opiate painkillers similar for years and they never had any positive or negative effect upon my stamina or hardness. However, there are drugs called benzodiazepines, which are prescribed for anxiety and to help people sleep, that do have such effects. Is he dazed? Does he slur his speech at all?

The moment your partner refuses to listen to your genuine concerns, it's time to ask yourself whether that relationship is worth continuing.

I hope it works out for both of you! Drug addiction is horrible, but if he's clean then I hope he can turn it around and start giving you a wonderful sex life!

[Bjorn526]

Your last little paragraph is really all you had to write, and also you just answered your own question

[mander4]

Thing is I don’t know for 100 percent that is the case... hence my doubts here but it is only thing that makes sense according to the internet...:/

[mander4]

Any it was kinda silly but I’m just dying to know if there any other possibly reasons or if this normal and I’m hair being stuck up

[mander4]

*being stuck up and unsympathetic

[Bjorn526]

All I can say, is alcohol and drugs make you limp, plus the lifestyle that comes along with it. Likely if that was his “history” than it’s also his current situation in one form or another because once you truly get sober it’s obvious to everyone, especially your sexual partner for getting such ranging hard boners all the time. And by the way, you can wrap a magnum condom around your head like a hat, haha

[MlleCake]

Along the way, you will meet all kinds of people who have their ups and downs in the bedroom. It's better if you learn how to cope, because it may happen with someone you love, and you'll want to handle it with love.

If he is very large, he may not get very hard erections, and it's really hard to get a condom on a half-erection.

Is he taking the time to get you off through oral, manual, toys? If he isn't he should be.

You should have a frank discussion at a quiet time when you are not trying to have sex and just talk to him about what isn't working and asking what he needs to be fulfilled and happy as far as stimulation he desires.

[mander4]

No none of extra stuff happens... hinted and it gets shot down I offered porn, lube, dirty talk and like every romantic gesture I can think to try to get him in the mood... and sadly I think it’s a coup -out because it’s not a size thing lol things are average lol sorry 🤓 not to be graphic and I have mentioned it and asked what I can do to help him out but he claims this like never happens with anybody... and we try agin next time. He claims I am only person he has ever had issues with :( and hurts it my self esteem as a woman lol I almost bought him blue pills and were going to put it in a sandwich or something bc I want to make things work even though he denies when I tell him we have an issue lol

[AmanoYin]

watch porn with him.

[mander4]

Already suggested said no

[AmanoYin]

it's not really selfish by the way.. EVERYONE has emotional and physical needs, just try and have a really clear honest convo about it, but don't make him nervous if possible cuz that makes guys have a harder time. Anyways i got one more suggestion. try being super romantic and teasy in a way you think he likes. progressively build up his horniness be spontaneous with him, and give him like short bits of play. for me when ever i had a problem it was usually actually because sometimes i just need a bit more than a gentle touch lol, each guy is different though i guess.

[mander4]

Appreciate it

[brennanhuff]

probably doesn't need medical help, but some therapy or mental help. It's probably more a mental anxiety, not a physical problem or where he'd need viagra.

[abc3643]

I have ED too. He needs the little blue pill. You may have to be blunt. In fact, at your age, you don't deserve to spend the rest of your life with a guy who needs pills to pop a woody. I say move on.

[dan_0815]

Kinda odd. I often hold back and we take hours and I ruin her, but if I don't hold back I can finish in 10 minutes.

May not necessarily need Viagra, could be low testosterone or high estrogen (or also too low).

[slatyb]

Get away from this guy ASAP. You should never be afraid of your boyfriend.

[mander4]

Not even boyfriend yet debating to even take the next step in that direction w/o seeming uncaring and selfish lol but I’m glad that you seem to agree bc I can not shake my doubt either. Thank you 🤗

[slatyb]

Pay attention to those doubts. When something doesn't feel right, it isn't. You do not want to get in any deeper with him.

[Arabian911]

Well, i remember one time i wasn’t able to get hard because of some problems with in my career but that only happened once, i really don’t know why would you date an addict or at least be with some guy with god complex

[NerdInDenial]

So you should leave

[Wollu]

It seems that you are on a lost case. If he can't satisfy you, it would be a persisting problem. Have you tried everything? Maybe he needs another type of woman and isn't aware of it? I pity the two of you. It's really sad. For him it's probably devastating and you are right to be worried about telling him. To me something like this happened once. But it was a psychological problem and gone some 3 days later. In your case this is different. Something like that can destroy a man. He is getting angry about himself.

[yourdarksecretx]

Its the drugs... Did he try taking Viagra?

[mander4]

Tried suggesting but he claims he is fine and it’s my problem

[yourdarksecretx]

He's too stubborn isn't he?

[mander4]

Yuppers

[yourdarksecretx]

Well tell him it's not satisfying u.. Perhaps hel then do something bout it

[mander4]

Agreed

[DizThaWhiz]

Time to reevaluate the relationship and what you want out of life. Anthony Robbins once quoted "you get what you tolerate"

[mander4]

Wise love it

[mystintri]

It's a sensitive topic, but it's his problem to deal with it.

Me, because I have fully embraced an abundance mentality, I would leave him (her).

But be sure to tell him that you're not leaving him because of his 'situation' but because of his lack of fixing it.

Hope this helps.

[Mrblueballs42]

So sorry you need a man not a boy. Sorry but maybe moving on will help

[mander4]

Thank you thought too

[Mrblueballs42]

dang wish I could your sexy

[skittles2017]

I suggest you to leave him and move on... as you stated your needs are not fulfilled and he's not showing any signs of doing something about this... on the contrary, he is listening to charts and people on the internet instead listening to you and how you want your sex life to be...
Tell him what you think without any regrets and move on... there are plenty of fine guys out there who are looking for a lady like you

[biju999]

He will try to move your attention from his disability Nd claim utter nonsense in oder to cover is weakness. Better move on to next guy!

[cancan73]

You're young and time goes so fast, if you're having doubts after 2 months you should follow your instincts

[xhaos]

It could be a side effects of the prior drugs. They can cause permanent side effects such as these. If he's not performing and refuses help then you need to decide if you love him enough to stay with him. There are ways around it. Maybe try to have him perform orally or with a toy. But if he can't perform then it will be exceedingly hard to stay faithful. You need to have a frank, open, and honest conversation

[cobo0402]

He may be gay, time to look for another guy

[rockrewls]

He needs to see the doc, could be diabetes as well?

[Anonymous]

Have him do pelvic exercises..