My friends with benefits said I love you?

I'm so confused and could use some help or opinions from you guys. Last night my friends with benefits said I love you not once but 3 times... He also said that sex with me is the best sex he's ever had and he doesn't know why. He repeatedly said things like we should do this more often when we already do it 2 or so times a week. He also said that we should make this more permanent and proceeded to go on about how I should be with him. and all I could say was I am with you I'm right here baby. I'm so confused because I know I have feelings for him the thing is I wanna believe he cares about me but this morning he still claims he doesn't want a relationship but isn't gonna sleep with anyone else cause I'm the one he wants. I just don't get it he said I love you last night and yet still claims he doesn't want any more. Now mind you he was super drunk last night but what do you guys gather from this. Is he falling for me... Is there potential to make this something more?
Updates:
+1 y
This morning I told him everything he said when he was drunk... Mind you he has no idea that I care about him in that way... He apologized but also said that his ex really hurt him and who knows that we got a great thing and down the road it might develop
+1 y
I think we may just be two people that are afraid of commitment and feel the need to protect ourselves. now all I need to do is find the right time to tell him I care more than a friend.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • He has feelings for you but not enough now to be your man. He is pretty content with just sleeping with you and doing and sayin nice things to keep you around, saying what you want to hear. But when a guy says to you that he doesn't want a relatioship is telling you he just wants to have fun with you. All that other stuff he says before or after that is game to keep you hopin that it will become more. Are you willing to continue to be used by him until he decides to make you his girl? In situations like this, it never amounts to anything more than sex and these men are known for building false hope in the girl in order to keep havin sex with her. Truth is, if you want more, he is tellin you he is not gonna give it to you. period. Yes you feel for him and don't want to let him go but your setting yourself up to be really hurt. I would date someone and see if you can find a guy who wants what you want and actually shows you. Don't give up the sex too soon. make them earn it and if this guy acts like he has a problem with you datin someone and he gets mad, he has no right too because he has not made any commitment to you and there is no ring on your finger. He is just selfish because he doesn't want to lose you as a sex partner and jealous because if you are having sex with the guy you are dating that it may be better than him. Guy ego. So, don't let what he tells you fool you anymore. be smart and accpet the fact that it is sex and his words are just hot air until he shows you more. However, you comtinue to live your life as a single girl who dates and goes for what she wants. If he threatens to leave or says he loves you and blah blah, ignore it because its game to control you.

    • I say this is best answer

    • Thanks

  • What he does sober is the truth about what he wants. He does not want a relationship with you and, sure, maybe that could change and I know it won't cause any problems if you tell him you do have feelings for him. It's not like he will ditch FWB just because you have feelings for him. But you may start getting frustrated that things are not progressing into a relationship after you share your feelings. That's FWB for you. Eventually someone catches feelings and usually it results in things ending.

  • If he keeps telling you that all he wants is a friends with benefits style relationship, then I'm afraid that's all he wants. Sure, he may say that he loves you, and that you're the only one he wants to sleep with, but if he doesn't do anything about it? Then you're both still in the same boat. You sound like you can do better than this guy - if he continues to pull you along with his "I love you but I don't wanna be in a relationship" act, then I would start looking for someone who can do both.

    • The only thing that makes me think differently is that he doesn't remember saying all these things. he has no clue because he was that drunk. Also his gestures through me off because he really does take care of me and do things for me even though he doesn't have to and is doing everything in his power to keep me close to him.

    • Well...maybe there is something there. I guess that as long as you're willing to wait this one out and see where it goes, then there's a possibility that a relationship could come out of it. It's really just a matter of how much time you're willing to invest in this guy. I hope it works out for you!

    • Him being drunk is the best way to get the truth out of someone. I think that he has feelings for you,m likes you and everything but is not ready for a relationship. Doesn't really want the commitment but still wants to have sex with you and wants no one else to have you because he feels likew he owns it now since yall been doin it so long. He says he loves you as a way to control you into what he wants and that is for you not to give it to anyone else but him. He knows that's what you want to hear

Most Helpful Guys

  • "he still claims he doesn't want a relationship but isn't gonna sleep with anyone else cause I'm the one he wants."

    He wants to have sex with you, enjoys it, but doesn't want any of the hassle of the relationship.

    I can't say for sure if he's sincere, but looking at it from a guy's prospective... he's playing you.

    Do guys say I love you to get sex? Some do, YES

    Just be careful, and like the other guy said, get him to give it to you straight, or get rid of him.

    Don't let him toy with your emotions.

    • Yep. Tha is what he is doing, Girl. And as a woman who use to be in your position, knows you don't want to belioeve that and hope he will change, but the trusth of the matter is, he will most likesly not. Why be with someone who is tellin you they don't want to be with you when you can be with someone who does and actually shows you?

  • He wants to have sex with you and probably has no feelings. Or he has feelings, but for some sh*tty reason finds something else more important than dating you.

    Either way, you know what you're doing, but if you want a relationship, I would say indefinitely sleeping with him is probably a bad idea.

    And wanting a relationship with someone who can't commit is probably a bad idea too.

    I would say enjoy the sex, but don't expect anything more.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 3
  • He has some feelings for you, but not a lot. People say stuff like that when they're really drunk all the time, don't take it too seriously. He probably does really care about you as a friend, but he does NOT want a relationship, so don't get yourself hurt by believing he does.

    • I dunno, people are also very HONEST when drunk. More so than sober. I think he DOES love you, but maybe he has some bad memories attached to "relationships" Hey, maybe some girl broke the poor guys heart and every chick he had, as soon as they make it official, it gets screwed up! That is very common. But I don't believe in the whole friend with benefits crap. I'll use my toys untill the right guy comes along, they can't break your heart and it's the same, no emotion with toys or boy toys lol.

  • I'm in exactly the same boat except my friend with benefits hasn't said I LOVE YOU yet!

    Everytime I break up with him he still comes back telling me I'm the one he wants to be with Blah Blah Blah! these guys get all up in your lives but rarely share anything about there life with you.

    My question is to both girls and guys how do you bring up the subject so that you get a serious answer from your FWB cos theseguys are smooth talkers and will try and change the subject asap!

  • being he was drunk I wouldn't buy any of it.

  • ask him hypothetically how he'll feel if you told him your starting to have feelings for him and see what his reaction is.

  • Them feelings will fade. He don't know Love. Or a GD thin Up & down hidden agenda...
    I know this from experience guy I went to grade school with... Inbox after inbox wanting to hook up... Then we hook up years later and sometimes gd & others whatever. No matter what he's unsatisfiable Karma is a bitch. I regret going out the box...

  • Not all true, My boyfriend and I when we first started seeing each other as friends with bens. within 1 month he said he loved me, but wasn't ready to settle down or be in a relationship... needless to say I did and do love him, so I waited... Maybe that could be the case with your friend.,.. who knows

    • I think it is.... This morning I told him everything he said when he was drunk.... Mind you he has no idea that I care about him in that way... He apologized but also said that his ex really hurt him and I know she did because I have known him for 2 years. He told me he's afraid to get hurt and that we got a great thing and who knows what it may turn into down the road because his head might say one thing but in the end sometimes the heart wins.... Now all I gotta do is tell him how I feel...

    • Wow, its sounds just like my Boyfriend and me... only he watched me in a bad relationship... we were close friends for 2 years and then when things went down hill I called him... we been together ever since... He was drunk when he told me too... and I had always had a crush on him since the day we met... over that 2 years we got close, he was afraid to be in a relationship, until I showed him I was not like the rest and had my fair share of pain, I wish the best of luck to you!!

  • That's some pretty smooth talk if he doesn't want a relationship. Make him give you a real answer.

    • "pretty smooth talk" - aka bulls**t