I like to have very close intimate relationships and I think that means knowing my partner very well including a lot of things about their past. Though I prefer to focus on the present and the future, I think the past is important because it's what shaped her into the person I fell in love with. So I like to hear about her childhood, significant events that happened that changed her view of things, her accomplishments and failures, challenges she's faced and overcome, and a variety of other things and that includes past relationships.
I don't think it's necessary to share specific details unless they're somehow pertinent to our own sexual experience (for example if she is afraid to do something because she had a bad experience with some prior partner or wants to do something that I might not otherwise do because she really enjoyed it with a prior partner), but I think it's good to share a high level overview of past relationships.
My girlfriend and I have shared first names, approximate time in our life when the relationships occurred, their approximate length and seriousness, and why they ended. We have not discussed much if anything about physical characteristics of our past partners and only limited information (when relevant to something one of us wanted to do with each other) about specific activities that we engaged in.
Generally my opinion is that our sexual pasts are part of who we are today and so in a close relationship I think it's important to share that.
Very well said.
If your partner wants to know, then it's their right to ask, yes.
We don't get to decide what matters or doesn't matter to our partners - they do.
True
Yes, true.
If it’s important. Like, for example, proper procedure for anal, one partner might have done it before while the other hasn’t. To say “I’ve done this before and X needs to happen so it feels good” is important. If it’s your own fantasy, share it with your partner and how good it felt. If it’s your partner number, that’s only important if you find you have an STI and need to know who gave it to you. None of this is a requirement to be shared except for if you have an STI or STD from previous sex partners.
If my partner is interested in knowing, I am more than open to share about my past sexual relationships. I would hope that he feels the same as well. Most I care to know is number and the number of whom he loved that he was sexually involved with. If I'm in a committed relationship with someone, it dosen't matter if what happened in the past is in the past, it's still a part of my life and they have the right to know.
I think some things, like whether they’re clean or have had stds in the past should be discussed. Same applies if they have a child with another person regardless of if they see the child or not. Otherwise number shouldn’t be an issue unless asked.
As far as fantasies and such goes I think that should be discussed anyway in case both are interested in trying something specific down the road.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I usually move on because the past is the past. If it naturally came up in conversation later on, then so be it. It wouldn’t change my mind regardless.
Avoid, avoid, avoid... however; if they ask... and only if they ask... LIE! No, just kidding. Tell the truth, but as diplomatically as possible. :p
I do not believe that it is necessary. However, I do believe it to be necessary to do so if the partner asks. If I were to be asked by my partner then, yes, I would disclose every last contact I had and which I can remember. I'd have little problem telling my partner about my fulfilled fantasies and the deeds I did, unless doing so would be problematic. Problematic in this case means disclosing illegal behaviour or disclosing behaviour that would likely cause my partner to terminate the relationship. Now, this doesn't meant that I would not tell, indeed I would if my partner were to promise to give me a chance to explain my behaviour.
I expect that, if I were to ask my partner, I would at least get a summary of the previous encounters, nothing more but certainly nothing less. If that were to not happen I would note it and not forget any time soon.
Yes u should
Yes, definitely.
Yes, you should be honest about your sexual past.
That’s completely optional.
If it is needed to be talked about then yes.
If they ask. Or if you guys are talking about your sexual past.
I prefer not to as a. They werent great b. Its in the past c. I'll only tell if it has impacted me, no need to go make her upset about past people
I do. I let them know how I am, I want to be real with the person, and I don't want to hide anything from him
Yeah.
If he wants to know i don't mind
for now no sexual past lol
lol no
no, most men judge you by that even though it shouldn't matter. they don't want to know or imagine the sex you had with other men.
the only time revealing past lovers makes a woman MORE appealing is when the past lover is a famous and attractive actor, singer, politician, etc. trust me on this one.
It's a tough conversation, but for me it's necessary. There are certain things I'm NOT into , so I would rather we ended things early than we waste eachothers time.
I want to know how many miles are on the car I'm looking to buy BEFORE I buy it. Not after. Not going into business with someone who has bad credit. Not loaning my car to someone with a bad driving record. Not loaning my heart to a promiscuous woman. Zero upside.
Yes I'd discuss it if she asked.
they don't need to know so no
Personally, I'd wanna know because it turns me on. But I think if it's discussed, both partners should only reveal what they want to and should only be told what they want to know.
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