My fiancé has been look at naked pictures of girls I know and have known for years what do I do?

[Anonymous]

So my fiancé and I have been together for over 4 years and have had issues in the past with porn effecting our sex life... he has recently admitted to being addicted to porn... this I already assumed and knew but the worst part is that he found this screwed up website where guys post revenge porn of their ex girlfriends and you can look at “locations”. He looked at girls from our community and girls from the town I grew up in and I know all of these girls and have been life long friends with most of them from both sections.
He has requested that I put porn blocks on his devices and the internet... but I can’t help but feel like I was cheated on (he admitted to getting his rocks off to these pictures btw) and I can’t figure out what to do. I don't know how to get past this and I have contiplated leaving him. We are to the point in our relationship that we are looking for a home to buy and have kids. I’m so lost. Can anyone help me with some advice?

[Red_Arrow]

At this point, put any plans for investing in your future (marriage, buying a home, etc.) on hold. Skip trying to put blocks on and get professional help. If he will not, or that does not work, get away from him.

Hope you are getting over the bad feelings about your friends. They are victims of someone else in revenge porn. Does not change that. Most are nice people.

[Asker]

I hope so too. I hate that this has changed the way I feel when I look at people I have known for years... it’s not fair he has done this to me.

[NerdInDenial]

Well, has he tried getting help with his addiction?

[Asker]

Not professional help but said we will start with putting blocks and things to prevent it and if that doesn’t work he said he will seek professional help and just keeps saying he doesn’t want to loose me and will do anything to make it work.

[NerdInDenial]

He should go to a support group

[Asker]

I’m not sure he would... I think that would be wonderful but we live in a very small county... everyone knows everyone and his job title would really be smeared if the public discovered this about him. It takes us an hour to get out of the county and about two hours to get away from people who are directly effected by his job.

[NerdInDenial]

There’s online groups

[Asker]

Oh really? I was not aware of that!

[SongBird3]

Yeaaaahh thats pretty fucked up. Like its one thing if its just random porn (which i dont really consider cheating) but to have pics of girls that you and him know personally is pretty messed up and the fact that this type of website exists is creepy af. Like how do we know he hasn’t posted pics of you on there yet?
I would end it and report the website to the cops

[Asker]

I have reported the site and there is currently and investigation on the site nation wide. I am so angry I told all the girls I know on it that they are on it! Am so i know he didn’t he is not that bad with the site... he said he was initially on the site because he knew YEARS ago an ex posted one of me on tumblr (no face in it) and he decided he wanted to make sure it wasn’t on this site... I was pissed cause I could have told him I wasn’t on the site so it started as making sure someone didn’t post my pictures and turned into a way to get his rocks off.

[SongBird3]

Yeah dump his ass

[Asker]

It’s hard to just say good bye to this relationship... he’s been almost 5 years we are planning on buying a home and having a family and he has asked for help with his issue I just don’t know how to move past this.. or if I can.

[SongBird3]

Well how long have you known about this “addiction”? Has he tried to get help in the past? Has he ever physically cheated? Is this something you can get over? Is it enough to not be with him? These are questions u gotta ask yourself

[Asker]

These are all questions I have asked myself and some I do not know the answers to yet. Yes the porn has been an issue in the past and he did really good for awhile so we agreed he could watch when I wasn’t home but if it began to effect our sex life he would need to pull back the porn a bit. I have asked him if he addicted in the past and it was something I don’t know if he was ready to admit to himself about at the tome. He has never physically cheated and knows he really fucked up. He is willing to try and fix it between the two of us and if he can’t stop he is willing to seek professional help. I just don’t know if I’m gonna be able to move past it or if I can ever trust him the same way I used to.

[SongBird3]

Well if he promised back then and didn’t change what makes you think hell change now

[Asker]

I don’t know... I’m probably gonna get heart broken in all reality!

[SongBird3]

Well end it before its too late

[dragon9669]

Look witg him

[Asker]

That’s all well and fine and we have watched porn together before but it’s the idea of him looking at girls who are my friends and about two years ago we discussed he would not cross that line... he could watch porn and look at nudes all he wanted but not of girls I know or am friends with... I can’t even look at this girls let alone talk to them without thinking my fiancé has jerked to them! It sucks!

[dragon9669]

You have a point. Dump him

[Asker]

It’s easier said then done... he is the man I have been with for almost half a decade and made plans for a family with... in so confused